"Is time truly eternal, or is it merely an illusion? What if happiness, that fleeting mirage, is nothing more than a facade? And what if, in the blink of an eye, everything we hold dear disappears into the abyss? If darkness invariably precedes light, and life is but a single drop of water in the vast, overwhelming current of fate, then why do we persist in our struggle to live, to love, or even just to survive?
The tale of existence continues, an unending narrative, perpetually moving to its own enigmatic beat, indifferent to our desires and dreams."
The tale of existence continues, an unending narrative, perpetually moving to its own enigmatic beat, indifferent to our desires and dreams.
I found myself riding alongside my elder brother, Nikolai, and his best friend, Vanya. These thoughts invaded my mind like a familiar but forgotten lullaby—their melodies haunting, as if time were stuck in an eternal loop. Suddenly, Nikolai and Vanya halted their horses. I snapped out of my daze, gently brushing my horse Risa's mane before dismounting and leading her to graze with the others.
I strolled to the lakeside, captivated by the serene beauty, the distant sound of a waterfall supplying a melodic backdrop. Seating myself on the sand, a bit away from the water, I absorbed every detail, cherishing the moments of this holiday. The peace was shattered by the bickering of two grown men. Attempting to ignore their banter, I enjoyed the sun on my face.
Before reaching the lake shore, I had removed my riding jacket, tying it around my waist. The wind carried the scent of the lake and meadows. Nikolai and Vanya approached, blocking the sun, and queried in unison, "Whose goatee is superior?" Irritated, I retorted, "You both are silly for comparing something you haven't even grown. Move you're blocking the sun."
I stood, preparing to move, but they tackled me, tickling until I surrendered. Suddenly, I found myself airborne, thrown into the lake. Regaining composure, I swam quietly toward them. Reaching out, I pulled at Nikolai's foot, disrupting his balance. As they fell in, a ripple effect of laughter and splashes ensued.
We took advantage of the situation, swimming and playing, laughter echoing across the lake. Returning to the shore, reality set in. We rode back home, horses complaining about their wet state. Arriving at our summer villa, our ruined riding gear met disapproving gazes. As the only girl in my family, my life seemed perfect, but hidden beneath the protection, my feelings for Vanya grew.
If my brothers and father knew, they'd send me away. But this is my story, just the beginning. You may wonder about my name; you've heard my nickname, Kat. Wait a while, for my tale has just started, and my origin is still unknown. Fate will reveal itself, and I'll overcome all obstacles to shape my destiny.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Princess Katanya Arina Dimitri Viscoaska the first. My father often told me that when he met my mother, he knew she was the one for him—much like how I feel about Vanya.
My father, Dmitri, has been married before, and my brothers Ivan, Dimitri, Phillip, and Nikolai are from his first marriage. This union was arranged by his grandmother, Anna Petrova Viscoaska. Tragically, my father's first wife passed away under unknown circumstances. Following this, he married my mother, Irina, with the full approval of my grandparents. Their union was strategic, as my mother, being an only child, could secure support for my father's kingdom in the impending war. While political in nature, it was also a union of love, as they married the ones they genuinely loved.
I am the only child of my parents' marriage, and life seems perfect. Named after my grandmothers—an honor I hope to live up to—I am the perfect likeness to my great-grandmother, Katanya Ivanko Darcova. Life, however, is not without its complexities.
My older brothers, Ivan, and Dimitri, seldom visit, and Phillip is away at boarding school. Despite being overprotective, they do not seem to share a warm relationship with my mother. It is a puzzle I have yet to solve, but one that will be revealed at the proper time.
I grew up without many friends, playing mostly with my brothers, Phillip and Nikolai, and their close friends Nico, Vanya, and Tristan. Despite the companionship, an incident during a trip to my mother's home country unveiled a mysterious encounter with someone named Kostya.
Lost in the woods, Kostya played with me, ensuring my safety until I was found by my family. This incident, however, marked a change in my life. I was no longer allowed to be left alone. Confused and lonely, I turned to my mother one snowy day, questioning why other girls avoided playing with me. Her reassurance echoed in my heart, calming my insecurities.
Years passed. Phillip, along with Nico, graduated from the cadet academy. Phillip's life took him to Montre, while Nico remained elusive, visiting only briefly. Then came the day of Nikolai and Vanya's graduation, a day that should have been joyous. Yet, Nico's absence loomed, leaving a sense of unease.
As preparations for the grand announcement and coming-out ceremony unfolded, Nico remained conspicuously absent. The day arrived, and I found myself helping Nikolai with his outfit, a matter of family honor and prestige.
The grand party, two weeks before the coming-out ceremony, brought a flurry of activity. In a quiet moment in the garden, Tristan and I shared a serene interaction. They spoke of a special bond and allowed me to pet a snow-white bunny. As he left, I spotted Kostya standing by the trees, sharing a moment of farewell.
"Kosty, Kostya," I exclaimed, "I'm going to a party with Nikolai and the others!"
Kostya, looking down with a solemn expression, replied, "Okay, but I need to go now. I'll be gone for a while, so I won't be around to play with you anymore."
I forced a smile, tears forming in my eyes. When I turned to wipe them away and looked back, Kostya was nowhere to be found. Sighing, I walked back into the house, which was in a state of pandemonium. Everyone was searching for me. Phillip scolded me as he hugged me tightly, "Father and mother, Katanya is right here. She came inside from the courtyard! Kat, haven't we told you not to go wandering alone? What should our parents do with you?"
Father and mother, seeing how close to tears I was, shook their heads. I apologized, "Sorry Phillip, sorry papa and mama. I just wanted to play outside, and since all of you were busy and didn't notice me, I went to play by myself." I ran into my parents' arms and sobbed before going to my room to get ready.
As we reached the ball, I was Nikolai's escort, wearing a dark blue satin ball gown with elbow gloves of the same color, adorned with diamond bracelets and a sapphire pendant with matching earrings. Mother styled my hair in an ancient Japanese custom, making my urban hair seem more vivid. I stood next to Nikolai as each cadet was announced to the public.
Before Nikolai, it was Vanya, looking dashing in a dark blue suit. When it was Nikolai's turn, I stepped aside, standing next to Vanya. The Tsar congratulated my brother, and the music began playing. The Tsar asked for the first dance, and I could not refuse. As we walked over to the side, Vanya asked for the next dance. Dancing with him felt magical.
Suddenly, Nikolai intruded, "Oh ho, I see my ex-best friend dancing with my baby sister. Let me join, as I would like to dance with my baby sister now, Vanya, my 16-year-old sister." Confused, I looked between Nikolai and Vanya, wondering what was going on.
Nikolai led me into the next set, and I mustered up my courage to ask, "Nikolashka, Lashka, what happened? Is everything all right?" He replied, "Nothing happened, Nanushka. Everything is fine, so drop it." Unsatisfied, I asked again, "What's going on between the two of you? You are like brothers; you practically grew up together. So, what's wrong Ninushka?"
He looked me in the eyes, saying nothing. The darkness and disappointment in his gaze scared me. Pushing myself away, I walked to my chair, watching the others dance with a sore heart. I looked at Vanya dancing with Alura, and as our eyes met, I could not look away.
Deciding to walk around the palace, I headed towards the doors leading to the gardens. Contemplating whether to go to the library or the garden, I glanced at the moon in the sky. As I opened the balcony door, the cool night breeze hit my flushed face. Prince Vladimir Ivanko Dragovich stood in the doorway. He looked different since childhood, and it was the first formal meeting.
I curtsied as he bowed, saying, "I believe you are the evasive and elusive Princess Katanya Viscoaska. I've heard a lot about your family."