Story of an early marriage. My name is Farinat Abdullah Bakura but with utmost honour I am now address as Mrs Usman Murktar Farinat, you may ask what is the honour of being a "Mrs" I will tell you. I was just sixteen when I finished my secondary education as the first child of my parent who didn't have much expect the little Gasua offer. Yes, Gasua... My village, my parent were farmers and had little or nothing to offer I and my siblings Radiyah and Rauf... After my secondary education I really wanted to continue my education and pursue my dream but it didn't come as I excepted, instead what came was a big shocked to me . As usual I rush to my uncle's house to get freshly extract milk from his cow so as to go sell my Nur-Nur, Getting back home I met some few people seated in front of my house, I greeted them and went inside only for my mother to rush in with a message that there was a suitor for me, I was surprised or will I say dumb for a second, I confusedly followed her outside and behold they were actually here for me. Days passed and preparations were being made but there I was just trying to wrap my head around everything I mean who would have thought that my parent who told me that I will go back to school were actually going to marry me off at sixteen... Sixteen? The wedding day finally came and I was dress like a princess or more than a princess, all I could hear were praises upon praises from my mother, siblings and friends, if only they knew how hurting I feel inside. I was called or rather force out to welcome my husband who is way older than me and his people who had nothing but smiles on there faces, literally everyone was happy except me "The Amarya". Words were forced out from my mouth and my father had to answer some of the questions which were to be answered by me just for the day to be a success and just like that I was married off. Getting to my new home I cried and cried my husband and his family consoled me thinking they were just tears of joy not knowing that they were tears from a girl whose dream and life has just been snatched. Severally I tried to escape, escape from the house, my home town and even life itself but I was caught severally too, they pleaded and pleaded saying it would be a shame for my parent and them for me to run away but do I really care? They should be ashamed for snatching life from me, speaking about life why did it agree with them, I always believed in faith but this time faith has brought me bad luck. Months passed and I was still inside my husband's room like a new bride refusing to go out or do anything... Often, when my husband's friends came visiting I would hear them make mockery of him telling him how weak he was not been able to touch or made love to a small girl like me but he would make so many excuses for me, I wonder why him and his family love me regardless of all my actions. I finally stop one day, yes I stop acting like a demented person and act like a wife which I was now. When my husband returned from work that day he was so surprise to see me in the kitchen cooking and talking with his mother and sisters, the joy that followed was indeed a relief for him. Again weeks pass and there were no more signs of me grieffing over my lost, I now wanted to know more about my husband and his family, funny enough I didn't know his occupation or his full name apart from his nickname, maybe out of excitement my parent forgot to mention his identity or perhaps I was too sadden to have recall. Mr Usman Murktar Sado was his name and he was a lecturer in federal University. After being married for a year, my husband and I became more than love birds, he literally did things on my own terms and that made me felt like a Queen but I wasn't ignorant too I was a respectful wife to him and I was very honest with him which made him love me more, if there was anything we did better it would be understanding eachother at all time, he made marriage so easy and sweet for me, in my days once you are married there was no way you could think of education but my husband wanted me to study, he wasn't in a haste to have kids but was eager to send me back to school but I wasn't interested anymore, I only wanted to focus on my marriage, have kids and live a life of a wife and mother. We had our first child in our second year of marriage, it was a boy and my joy know no bound same with my husband and family, it was a big naming ceremony and a memory that couldn't be forgotten especially by me. I know at this point you may wonder why there wasn't an issue in my marriage nor argument between me and my husband, my marriage wasn't perfect and no marriage is. Mine started after the birth of my son Azim, he started with my husband noting my smallest mistake, that he never did before. Two years later it became worst, I was literally choking in pain, I reported him to his parent who cautioned him but it didn't help and neither did it subsided a little, he then added few slaps here and there but he never stop caring for my kids Azim and his baby sister, seeing he had so much love for them then I was less bothered because in those days there was no thing like a woman leaving her marriage except she was driven by her husband. One thing I will advise my fellow women to do in their marriage is to try to know what the problem is at all cost, marriage is like a maths you have to find the problem then seek the solution, my finding was quite easy I noticed that my husband always quarrel when I touch or use any material things in the house such like food and other things then I spot the problem. "He saw me as a LIABILITY" because I don't contribute to anything, he was tempestuous because I choose to be a jobless stay home wife instead of going to school getting a degree and a job so I could assist him but it was late because he had other responsibilities, feeding three people plus the bills, school fees and all. I tried looking for job but it was hard for me considering the fact that I had only my SSCE with me and no other certificate, my English is fluent, I'm clever and I can work as a secretary or a sales representative but there was no job. I hide my job hunt from my husband, I never wanted him to know till I got a job but one of my job hunt I bump into his sister who later told my husband, when my husband confronted me with the issue I thought it will be another day of beaten but he broke into tears, yes tears... I asked him why, what came out was the least of what I expected he said " Oh my wife I have gotten too far, I have pushed you away because of my need, I have made you see yourself as a burden to me and I'm sorry for everything" then he left. To think at some point I hated him more than anything, he still had love in him for me as a wife, no matter what woman make sure you are ready to fight for a man who is worth it. The next day I said to myself "Mrs Usman Murktar is either you bring an appointment letter home today or you face your own mistake" I then left home with my daughter Adila, she was a year plus then. I tour round till I came across a sign board with a job vacancy I entered the place, it was really big and beautiful I saw some people who were queue up for interview and I joined them and waited till it was my turn, I went in to see the woman who was a therapist that needed an assistant, she offered me a sit and ask me to bring forth my credentials but to her shock it was only a primary school living certificate and my SSCE, she ask if that was all my certificate and I said yes with all the boldness I could get, she laugh and ask me why I thought I could get the job with just an SSCE, my reply wasn't much but my reasons where top notch then she said she'd get back to me and I left. I got home and told my husband and just so fortunate my husband knew her so he called her put in few words for me and then told her that if she gave me the job he promise that I will go back to school and get a B.Sc and she agreed. I got a job assisted my husband in every way I could and he kept to his promise and I got not only a B.Sc but a PhD in physiology/physiotherapy. My marriage was never a mirage but a beautiful marriage, before you call it a mirage trying making it a marriage. Misunderstanding is frequently in marriage you just need two key words PATIENTS and UNDERSTANDING.