There was a strange sense of liberation as if the heavy thing that had tied me down to this world had released me. It was a giddy, euphoric sensation. I rose up into the air, recognizing the sensation of my spirit being able to soar free.
The Creator was waiting there when I emerged. I looked down at the doctors and nurses rushing my body to an operating theatre.
*"Majesty!"* I could hear Shigure crying, his voice was fading. *"Save Uki-chan! Bring her back!"*
"This time it is your choice, Harmony," the Creator Father told me, walking with my transparent figure while I followed my body into the operating theatre where I watched the doctors struggling to revive me. "You can come Home with me or you can stay to help support your husband with his work. I'm sending him for more training in this country, before I send him back to help Homeward build a new city with your other friends. If you choose to stay, although your recovery and rehabilitation will take a long time, you will make some good new friends. Your work will mostly involve supporting Junichi and keeping his emotions stable. I will also help fulfil your desires. If you wish to come Home with me, I will find someone else to help Junichi. If you come Home, you can rest early and watch what happens but not interfere. What would you like to do?"
Oh, I was tempted.
I had only seen glimpses of that other realm where the Creator Father had sometimes pulled me into. Being there was so relaxing and more home-like than any home I had ever been to. The Home the Creator Father was talking about was surely that place. I could feel it deep in my spirit.
But at the same time, I had promised Shigure. We would be together for the rest of our lives. We would live and die together or as long as we could. If I left now, I'd be breaking that promise. And with our link as deep as it was now, it would really hurt and shake him if I left. I couldn't go breaking our marriage vows. I had to keep my word.
I didn't need to play a lead role. I didn't need the limelight. I was far more comfortable in a supportive role anyway. If I was to be Shigure's support, I'd be the best support there could ever be.
As tempting as it was to go Home and stay there, it wasn't time yet. Shigure needed me. The Creator Father was going to send him back to my country to find Homeward. He was only here for more training. In that case, I wanted to go and see what the others had been up to. See where the Forest Mother and Desert Father had gone. Had the big lizard found a mate?
"You've decided?" the Creator Father stroked my hair while I looked up at him.
I nodded.
"I promised him. I'll stay," I told the Creator Father. "I can't break my marriage vows."
"It's not going to be an easy life for you," the Creator Father told me with a small but loving smile, "but my brave girl, just know that the trials and difficulties you go through will motivate and inspire all those who see your determination and perseverance to do what is right. Remember to call on me as often as you need and when you get stuck with those memories of the past or the unforgiveness tries to rise up again, look for me to help you. Don't rely on your emotions and feelings. Sometimes, you need to act and speak it out loud before the feelings will follow. You just keep doing what you know is right. If you are staying, I'll enlarge the treasure chest I'm storing your rewards in."
I took a few deep breaths, not really wanting to go back to my body where I could see the doctors beginning to give up when my body remained unresponsive. Yet, I knew I had to make the move. It was my choice and the difficult life with Shigure was what I had chosen.
"I am pleased you made this decision, my warrior princess," the Creator Father kissed my forehead. "My grace and favour shall be with you. My goodness and mercy will go ahead of you and follow you all the days of your life."
"And you'll let me have Shigure's baby," I added. "More than one, please. Happy, healthy children."
"And I'll ensure you have more than one happy, healthy child with Junichi," the Creator Father laughed and agreed. "After you go back and meet Homeward and your friends again you will conceive. Your body won't be able to handle it before then."
"Promise?" I raised my little pinky.
"Promise," the Creator Father laughed and hooked his big pinky finger with mine. "I'll give you a girl and a boy. How's that?"
"Lovely," I jumped up to hug him and give him a smooch on the cheek. "Wonderful. I can't wait."
"Go," the Creator Father breathed and gently helped me lay back down in my body. "Be patient. Things aren't going to get better immediately. We can't have you bouncing around the hospital in excitement causing chaos, but I promise you that it will get better eventually. Something good will happen and good things are in store for you. Keep looking forwards."
"Alright," I smiled and sank back down into my earthsuit.
*"Majesty, I'll do anything, just give me my Uki-chan back,"* Shigure's voice could be heard sobbing. I could feel him reaching toward me with everything he had, and with the intent to die if I had truly gone and wasn't going to return. He was full of desperation. *"Majesty, please. I need her. Bring Uki-chan back. You hear me, Uki-chan? Come back. Get back here, right now. You still haven't had my baby yet. Didn't you want my baby? I'll give you one. I'll give you a child. Come back. Come back."*
In the next moment, I heard the clamour of machines making noises and medical staff making sad sounds of frustration.
"I'll turn off the machines," said a heavy voice.
I twitched, in an effort to let them know I was back.
"Wait," someone else gasped.
The machines suddenly stopped blaring their alarms and a steady beeping of my heart rate could be heard.
"She's back! She's back!"
"She's breathing."
*"Uki-chan!"* Shigure's sobs of relief when he felt me return were tinted with sick exhaustion. *"You're back! You're back. I'm so glad you're back. Thank You, Majesty. Thank You for sending my Uki-chan back to me."*
*"I promised,"* I managed to send a faint message to Shigure. *"I'm keeping my promise."*
"Record her vital signs," a doctor said. "What's the time?"
"Thank God," I heard someone groan. "I was so worried."
"She and her husband are so close. If she died, imagine what would happen to her husband."
"I was so scared we'd lost her for good this time. It was really an act of God."
"We still have to complete the surgery, now that she's back with us. Everybody take a few deep breaths and get yourselves under control. We're going to perform a successful surgery and we're not going to lose her. Move the empty blood bag aside and prepare the next one. Alright, team. We can do this."
I sank back into a deep sleep, knowing the anaesthetic was doing its work. I hoped that they would remember to fix my waterworks again as well.
Someone was praying by my bed.
"Kami-sama, please help Nodoka-chan to live and survive. It was my fault this time and I brought trouble to her. Please don't let her die. I'll be a good person and give to the poor and needy. I'll do charity and other good deeds. I'll even be vegetarian if that will help. But please don't let Nodoka-chan die. She's so cute. You surely can't bear to let her die, right? I've only just met her and yet she was willing to risk her life to help protect me," Miki-cham was sitting by my bed with her head resting on the mattress while she clasped one of my hands in both of her hands. "She must have been an excellent agent when she was working for her agency. Kami-sama, Nodoka-chan is such a good person. She's so cute and sweet, even with all her scars. I want to pinch her living cheeks. You can't let her die. I can't pinch her cheeks comfortably if she's dead."
"Miki-san," I whispered in an even softer voice than I had before I had gotten shot by the bullet I had missed, "what are you saying?"
"Nodoka-chan," Miki-san stood up in a rush, tripped and almost fell on me. She sat heavily in her chair clutching at her wounds, panting for a moment.
"No pinching Nodoka-chan's cheeks. Don't be mean to Nodoka-chan," I hissed when the bed moved because of her surprise and jolted me. Hadn't they only taken a bullet or two out of my chest? Why did my entire body hurt so much?
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Miki-san apologised. "Don't cry. I won't pinch your cheeks. I promise. Don't cry. Why are you crying? Does it hurt a lot? Want some pain killers? Shall I call the nurse for you? Stay there. I'll call the nurse."
And then she meowed like a cat, making my eyebrows rise in confusion.
"Ah, so cute!" Miki-san's fingers lightly pinched my cheeks and in reply, I puffed my cheeks out so that she would have no grip. "No, no, I didn't mean to. Don't cry so hard, Nodoka-chan. You'll make me cry too. I won't pinch your cheeks anymore. Never again. I promise. Just stop crying, please."
The evening nurse came in and frowned at Miki-san.
"Miki-chan, what did you do to our Nodoka-chan? How could you make her cry the moment she woke up?"
"Hurts," I moaned in my barely audible voice.
"What did she say?" the nurse asked Miki-san. "I couldn't hear it."
"She said it hurts," Miki-san said. "Her crying is not my fault. It's definitely not my fault. It's not me pinching her cheeks."
"Miki-chan, go back to your own bed," the nurse ordered with a puffing of her cheeks and a frown. "You aren't allowed to bully our Nodoka-chan. Her health is too fragile at the moment. The doctors lost her for a few minutes in theatre and we have to keep a close eye on her. You're not allowed to provoke her. A big change in her emotions could kill her right now."
"S-sorry! I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" Miki-san bowed and bowed her way all the way back to her bed, clutching at her wounds as she did so.
The nurse took my obs and asked me a few questions. She brought me pain killers, but I choked on them and on the water. In fact, I choked myself to the point all the machines bleeped and wailed, bringing more nurses. In the end, something was put in my IV line for the pain. I closed my eyes to rest.
Later, somebody came with foods of various thicknesses. As a result, I was prescribed with thickened fluids and mush to eat until my ability to swallow improved. I scowled at the thick water that had to be eaten with a spoon that I couldn't even bring to my mouth myself.
"I'm sure things will get better," I was told. "It might only be temporary. Your brain was injured when you died. It may take some time to recover."
It was a brain injury again. Bah. I was tired of brain injuries.
"The doctors say there are signs of very serious brain injuries in your past but that you seem to have recovered reasonably well. They're hoping for more of the same."
I glared at the ceiling.
"In fact, if you don't mind us asking," the person talking to me hesitated when I looked at her, "have you been in a war before?"
I rolled my eyes and then released a small huff of frustration, nodding.
"And you were injured then?" the person asking persisted, despite clearly seeing that I didn't want to talk about this. I didn't know who she was. She wasn't the Speech Pathologist who had just been here to tell me I had to eat my water rather than drink it.
"Who wants to know? Why?" I demanded in my whisper of a voice.
"The doctors just wanted to make sure their guesses were correct. You have so many scars and signs of old injuries all over that the doctors didn't want to believe that your husband might be abusive."
I laughed at that. Hilarious.
"My husband rescued me from two kidnappings by a criminal," I told them in a breathy huff. "He protected and looked after me during my recovery and helped get me back to work. He was there for me when I was almost taken back by my tribe to be tortured and was there for me when I was expelled from my tribe. He gave me his inheritance and a name. I was taken advantage of by the people he entrusted my safety to when the war began and when I escaped, I was almost captured by my enemies. I was kidnapped by my own people to be used for pleasure. Then I got caught up in the war and all the fighting. I was taken as a prisoner of war and tortured while being interrogated. I may be the only person still living from that interrogation room. Then I found my husband when I was dumped back among the prisoners of war. Both of us only survived with the help of a civilian doctor who had been captured. Then one of our personal enemies found us. In the end, we sacrificed ourselves for our people, not expecting to survive. And yet somehow we did. Then our people betrayed us. We had to leave, but were attacked by an army of big lizards and forced back. The day we got married, the war began again and the city was bombarded. We fought to give the civilians time to evacuate and were chased by the enemy and traitors. In the end, there was an earthquake. My husband and I were quite prepared to die in each other's arms but his family found us. So we came here, only for his clan to turn on us upon our return and try use us as breeding material or food for a giant snake. Leading to my return to the hospital and this shooting. I don't know how long it's been since I was last properly well. I haven't been able to keep track of time. I don't even know what year it is or what part of the country I'm in."
I took a few shuddery breaths, trying to keep my emotions that wanted to spill over under control. All that talking had made me tired and short of breath. I also had a feeling from the nurse's expression that Miki-san was the only one who could hear me.
"I just want to live a quiet life with my husband and have a family with him. I'm really tired, you know?" I said with a thick voice that could barely be heard, talking in between breaths. "Really, very tired of it all…"
The machines began bleeping, whooping and blaring again, bringing more people running.