Sebastian regretted not kissing Jen back.
It was the first time Jen showed physical affection towards him without the power of alcohol, but Sebastian just froze on the spot.
"Why didn't you kiss her back?!" Sebastian asked himself in the mirror while he was brushing his teeth.
He was flattered and surprised, but he also hated himself for not kissing her back.
"Maybe she would think that you don't like her like that..." Sebastian was sitting on the bed, overthinking.
Should he go over to her room and tell her that he regretted not kissing her back? Not holding her harder?
No, then she would think he was totally not cool, maybe she would think he was a boy, not a man!
Sebastian was always afraid that people would still see him as a child- even though Jen was only 2 years older than him, she did start their relationship thinking that Sebastian was a literal baby that she had to take care of.
"I will forever be mad at Lynn for letting Jen think that I am just a baby." He thought, burying his head in the pillow wishing he could have another chance.
"Next time!" Sebastian made a deal with himself, "Next time I will kiss her so hard that she will not be able to breathe."
But Sebastian didn't know the next time would come so fast.
Just when he was going to sleep, his phone buzzed and brought him a message from Jen:
"Are you still awake?"
Sebastian jumped out of bed, wanting to go over to Jen's room right away.
But he thought maybe it was for the best to ask her what was the issue, maybe she just wanted someone to chat over the phone.
"I am, need anything?" Sebastian replied.
"Could you come over? I need some help."
Seeing this message, Sebastian rushed to Jen's room without hesitation.
"Knock knock, may I come in?" He didn't know what to expect but still knocked on the door like a gentleman.
"Of course, then why would I call you to come here?"
Sebastian opened the door, and Jen's new room was decorated just the way she liked it- her plushies, her pajamas, her decorations, everything looked so sweet and comfy.
"What's up?" Sebastian said to Jen, who was sitting on her bed, wearing a set of lilac fluffy pajamas.
"Nothing, just wanted to see if you are awake, and maybe do something together," Jen answered, casually putting her phone aside.
"Do something? Now?" Sebastian looked at the dark sky, "It might be a little too late if you want to go and take a walk, it's also getting cold these days." He wasn't wrong, the autumn season had started in G town.
"Who said we need to go out?" Jen asked Sebastian.
"You want to play some board games? Victor did say he had a collection here somewhere." Sebastian took out his phone and wanted to message Victor to check with him when his phone was grabbed out of his hand and tossed to the side.
"Prove to me." Jen said, one hand holding onto Sebastian's lap, "Prove to me that you really like me."
"I... I do. You are amazing," Sebastian was confused by her request, "but how could I prove myself to you?"
"What do you think?"
"I can prove it to you over time, that I do think you are amazing." Sebastian was afraid to look directly into Jen's eyes as she was getting too close to him again.
"You are not the best at having physical contact with people," Jen said, after observing Sebastian for a while, "but I am a big hugger. What if we are actually not compatible?"
"But I can change," Sebastian said, knowing that he was indeed not comfortable with most physical contacts.
"Prove to me that I am special. Prove to me that you meant it when you say you think I am beautiful, even when I am full of scars." Jen said, her tone was different that night- her usual nonchalant attitude, even around crisis, was gone. Instead, Sebastian heard that she longed for an answer.
"Maybe now it is the time." He thought to himself-
He grabbed Jen's chain, and wanted to aim at her lips but was afraid to bump her nose; she tilted her head, and got a little closer to him- Sebastian finally did it, he kissed Jen for the first time out of fondness- and she was kissing him back.
Her lips were so soft as if he was kissing a blossoming flower in the early morning; Sebastian didn't know if he was imagining, but her lips tasted so sweet, almost like the almond flavor cake that he once had on his trip through Europe.
He didn't know how long he had been kissing Jen, and how he should actually properly kiss someone, but he knew he didn't want to stop.
His cheeks were pressed against hers, and he gave her many small kisses on her face:" You are beautiful, why don't you believe me?"
Jen didn't say anything, the only response she had was a gentle moan that almost sounded like a sigh.
"It's okay, we are alone here." Sebastian comforted her, "They said they should give us space, is that what they meant?"
Jen felt like her earlobe was tickled when Sebastian started kissing her ears, her neck...
"May I?" He whispered, almost gasping the words out, "You bit me before, just let me leave you a mark as well."
Jen didn't say much, she just wrapped herself around Sebastian's waist and gave him a better position to kiss her neck- or bite her- whatever he wanted.
"Ah..." She could feel his lips and tongue picking up a part of her skin, kissing it, biting it, sucking it...
Suddenly he stopped- Sebastian gently stroked Jen's hair and pressed her onto her bed:
"Was that enough?" He asked.
"Was that enough proof that you are indeed beautiful and I do like you... a lot." He was out of breath from just now and his face was so red that someone would think he had just finished a race.
"What if I say it wasn't?" Jen always loved challenging people.
She grabbed Sebastian's hand, and placed it on her own shoulder- then she started unbuttoning her pajamas-
"Sorry that I don't have anything sexy enough for you," Jen said, "but all of my pajamas look like it came from the toy factory." She moved Sebastian's hand to peel the pajamas off her own shoulder, "but I hope you don't mind."
"Why would I mind?" Sebastian could barely think straight at this moment, he had never been in such a situation before, not to mention seeing Jen like this.
"There is nothing you haven't seen before," Jen saw through his nervousness, "I remembered that night."
"The night at the hotel?" Sebastian's voice was shaking.
"No, the night when I got drunk." Jen sat up, trying to fully take off her top, "I unintentionally seduced you, didn't I? But why didn't you do anything?"
"Because you were not conscious," Sebastian said, "and I would never hurt you like that."
"I am not drunk today." Jen's left hand was pressing on her own chest, covering what was supposed to be covered by her clothes.
"So what are you going to do now?"