"Look who decided to grace us with his presence, Nandor."
Alex rolled his eyes after hearing his sister's voice. Andrea was sitting on the couch brushing Nandor's fur. She was smirking with a funny look on her face. He didn't want to run into her but sometimes it was inevitable. He needed his laptop, his meds and clean underwear before going back to Montag's apartment. He'd been holed up there for three days.
"I'm just here for some stuff."
"Dude, maybe you should move in together if you can't spend a day apart."
"Don't be weird, we're just hanging out. You were the same when you started dating Julian."
"Oh, I remember" she patted Nandor's backside "we fucked like rabbits. If horniness runs in the family, RIP your asshole."
"Why do you have to be so crass? Don't ever say stuff like that."
"You're such a prude. I honestly don't know how someone so sexual like your boyfriend can stand your priggishness."
"None of your business"
His room was the same as he left it. His bed was neatly made, and his books were organised by colour. His laptop was off and perfectly arranged in the centre of his desk. Alex packed it up and laid on his bed watching the ceiling. He pondered on Andrea's words; he didn't think he was a prude around Montag. Every time he touched him, he felt electricity rippling through his body. He wanted to kiss him, touch him, and make him feel satisfied. It didn't matter to him if they were doing something innocent like reading or listening to music, he just wanted to keep feeling his skin against his own.
Images of the past three days bombarded his mind. They made love countless times. Montag was a generous lover, always making sure he was prepared, always taking care of him afterwards. Alex never imagined sex could feel that great; It was truly a transforming experience. He couldn't picture himself doing something like that with someone other than Montag.
The studio was as busy as always, but Alex was on cloud nine. Montag asked him to be with him for the rehearsal, telling him he was more inspired by having him around. Everyone else in the band already knew about their relationship, apparently Montag let them know, so Alex could sit, watch, and touch his boyfriend freely. He wasn't comfortable enough to kiss him or hug him but holding his hand or fixing his hair was perfect.
"You look like a kid in a candy store," Montag said, smiling.
"I'm so happy."
"Why? This isn't your first time here."
"It's my first time as your boyfriend. I don't have to pretend like I don't want you."
"You want me? That's naughty, Mr. Castellanos."
"You're making me blush. Stop it"
"You blush with everything I say, it's so cute."
The blood rushing to his face felt hot and Alex knew he looked like a tomato. Montag was smiling and biting his lip and Alex felt an almost unstoppable desire to kiss him. That man had transformed his life, he now wanted things he never found interesting or appealing. Alex always preferred loneliness, disliking even his family's company, but with Montag he was at peace, he didn't find him overwhelming, he yearned for his presence and his voice.
Maybe everyone felt the same with their first love. Maybe the feeling was going to fade, and they'd grow tired of each other eventually, but it was hard to believe that it'd happen. Alex felt uncomfortable with his own feelings and how deeply he felt them. He didn't want to scare Montag away by getting too serious, but he couldn't help it. He knew they were perfect for each other.
The rehearsal began and Alex was reminded of the first time he listened to Montag's voice. A sense of calmness invaded his body, all the other sounds faded into nothingness and Alex levitated, feeling his lover's deep voice resonating in every corner of his brain. No amount of Xanax could compare to the peaceful sensation he felt when Montag sang.
I could listen to his voice all the time.
After wrapping up the practice everyone started packing their stuff. Debra, as always, used the studio's drums so she didn't have to pack anything. She approached Alex and stood watching him, hesitating about what she wanted to say.
"I want to apologise, Alex" she cleared her throat "I shouldn't have questioned the way you and Montag handle your relationship. I was out of line."
"Don't worry about it."
"There's no excuse, but I was pissed at Montag because he messed with my business earlier that day."
"I don't care, Debra. I'm not holding grudges against you or anything. I'm really confident in my relationship."
"Ok, then, I wish you both the best, truly. I believe you're the one for him, I've never seen him smile that much before."
"Thank you"
She smiled and walked away. Montag picked up his bags and walked towards him, with one of his hands free, he held Alex's hand and caressed his fingers, there was an enquiring look on his face. Alex could tell he was worried about what Debra said.
"What did she say?
"She wanted to apologise. She seemed affected by what she did."
"What did you say?"
"That I don't care. I'm happy with you and I have zero doubts about our relationship."
"You're so mature for your age. It feels like I should call you "Sir." I would've made her suffer for that forgiveness."
"There's no point in that, love."
"She made you cry. Every single one of your tears burns me, baby."
Holy shit, I love this man so much.
The realisation hit him like a truck. Alex knew he was falling fast, but to be able to understand his feelings as love with zero doubts or second guessing was a shock. He wondered if everyone just knew when they fell in love, like some kind of instinct, like a switch being turned on. In a few weeks Montag went from being an attractive stranger to becoming the sun in his solar system.
People always talked about insta-love as something horrible. As if falling in love fast was a grave sin, as if the feelings of those who fell in love early meant less than those of the people who fell in love after months or years of being in a relationship. Alex tried to think if something was missing, but the truth was that he had experienced a lot with Montag. He saw him at his worst, supported him at his best and trusted him enough to tell him about his past and fears. They were sexually compatible, and they were so comfortable with each other.
"Everything makes me cry, I get overwhelmed easily."
"I'll make sure you only smile from now on "he squeezed his hand "let's head home."
"Okay."
After saying their goodbyes, they left the studio together. Hand in hand, they walked for a couple of blocks before reaching a subway station. After boarding, Alex rested his head on Montag's shoulder and hummed softly the melody of the last song he played. It was catchy and despite not being too much into music, Alex found it riveting.
"I wrote that song for you."
"What?!" He turned to face him and saw him blushing "you're not joking."
"Of course not. After our first kiss the melody just popped in my head and then the lyrics just flowed from my pen."
"I'm speechless."
"I've never been good at writing romantic songs. The guys were flabbergasted when I first played it for them."
"Nothing I ever give you is going to compare."
"But you already gave me a gift. You gave me the inspiration to write, you're like my muse."
Alex was sure he'd never been redder. He could feel the blood flow increasing in his cheeks so he hugged Montag and hid his face against his chest. Songs were forever, 20 years from now he'd still have that song to listen to. Even after their deaths, the evidence of their relationship would still be there. Montag just gave him an indelible gift.
"I'm going to need you to record it so I can listen to it forever." his voice was muffled against his chest
"Sure, babe. As soon as we get home I'll play it for you and record it."