"I, am coming out of the closet."
"GAH!"
Though the deadpan voice woke everyone up, their reactions varied.
Issei jumped to his feet, forgetting he was on a bed in his surprise, and promptly fell off, landing on his face.
"Meep!" Asia squeaked, hurrying to cover herself with the blanket. "Ophis!"
"Huh." Was Xenovia's intelligent response as she sat up, blinking blearily and uncaring that the sheets had fallen, leaving her top completely bare.
That prevented Issei from standing up as he caught sight of his girlfriend, and his brain got hypnotized by the Magnificent Oppai. (Capitalization is essential.)
It didn't matter that he could hold, fondle, kiss, and suck them whenever he wanted, as he had proved last night. Oppai would forever hold sway over Hyoudou Issei.
"Ah. Vali, Bikou, Arthur, and Eren do this," Ophis said, looking down at the boy sprawled at her feet and putting a tiny fist on her small palm in realization.
Then she sat on Issei's back.
And used her magic to increase her weight a hundredfold.
Issei could barely let out a groan as he was pressed into the floor.
"Sun will be here in two hours," the little girl who weighed a mountain told the boy under her. "You are late for training. I, help Ddraig."
This was going to be a long day. He could just tell.
Freaking battle maniacs.
********
"Senpai," Gasper said, tilting his head in confusion. "What is going on?"
"I, am helping," Ophis answered instead of Issei.
Which was for the best. Issei really wasn't sure how to explain the fact that he was up at the un-satanly hour of the morning with the Infinite Dragon standing on his head.
As in literally standing on his head.
Her feet were planted on his skull, and no matter how he bent, twisted, walked, or jumped, she remained perfectly balanced on his head.
The only blessing was that she had lightened her weight to only fifty times its usual, allowing him to actually walk.
The only relief Issei had all morning was during breakfast because it was the 'Most important meal. Beside snack time.'- according to Ophis.
What little joy he found during those few minutes was countered by the fact that nobody else seemed to find the hour as terrible as he did.
Issei had always known that a reincarnated devil faced more difficulty waking up in the morning than regular humans. He had felt it himself since becoming a Rook. Devils were simply nocturnal creatures.
He hadn't known that everyone else in the Gremory Group, other new devils included, was used to waking up early anyway.
Apparently, Issei was unique among the Gremory Group in that he usually slept in a bit on the weekends. It wasn't even that late, like eight at most, but everyone else was usually already well into their routines by then. Asia and Xenovia were also exceptions when they spent the night with him, but both were used to the early hours from their time with the church.
Issei spent most of his free time training already, but once more, he was overcome with the difference in mentality everyone else seemed to have that he was lacking.
Rias had taken pity on the boy and explained that it hadn't always been the case. She had just upped her training in the last year, and the rest of the Peerage followed suit. Most devils didn't work nearly as hard as Issei. They were just the anomalies.
That hadn't been as much comfort as she had hoped because Vali and his team were already up and about as well.
Seeing the White Dragon Emperor's smirk when he heard Rias explain fired Issei up, allowing him to shake off the fatigue slightly.
Then breakfast was over, and Ophis was back on his head.
Issei was once again reminded that training was gruelling and arduous work.
Why couldn't life be an anime?
Give him a time skip already!
Still, Issei (Plus Ophis) dragged himself to one of the underground training rooms. It wouldn't allow him to train in anything destructive, at least without risking destroying the house, but right now, Issei was mainly focused on increasing his baseline stats, so he didn't need anything flashy. The higher they were, the more there was to Boost.
Gasper's presence was a surprise, though.
This room was one of the few with dedicated equipment rather than open space for battle training. Issei had thought he (Plus Ophis) would have been alone.
Asia was with Koneko right now, just in case, as his fellow Rook was working with her sister on Senjutsu. Mikasa, Xenovia, and Kiba were also with them to keep an eye on the Black Cat and get their own training. Everyone else was outside of Kuoh as their training in magic was too destructive for the town.
Vali's team was somewhere doing something or other. Unlike Kuroka, who was nominally a 'prisoner of war' or something like that, they were still technically free agents.
Honestly, Issei didn't get the politics involved. All he knew was that they showed up for meals and to check on Ophis, then spent the rest of the time doing whatever they wanted.
Issei already couldn't wait till lunch when he could have Asia heal the soreness he was undoubtedly going to have. She truly was an angel.
Which reminded him that Irina had been acting odd lately. Maybe it had something to do with how her wings would occasionally darken around him.
(It should be noted that after Issei asked Asia out, he became aware of the opposite sex's interest in him. He had, after all, irrefutable proof that someone liked him, even if he didn't quite understand why.
That, and once Xenovia learned about him and Asia, had bluntly told him they were dating now with the goal to eventually have children together.
Issei hadn't protested. No way was he going to turn her down since Asia didn't really have a problem with it either.
He was dumb and dense but not braindead.
But even his newfound and limited self-awareness had its limits. Trauma was still trauma, after all.
Ravel was close to breaking through the Density Field, but Irina faced an uphill battle. Not only was she an angel, not a devil, but Issei had thought of her as a boy for most of his life.
Fight on, Childhood Friend! You can do it!)
Gasper, who hadn't been at breakfast or usually joined any sort of physical training, would usually be in his room this time of day. Either sleeping or working on his contracts online.
Or he could be visiting the still-unconscious Valerie.
To see him here honestly shocked Issei more than Ophis appearing from his closet.
The younger boy, in a girl's gym uniform, was already on a treadmill when he arrived. It wasn't going super fast, even for a human, but Gasper's physical condition was so poor that he was already sweating.
"Just..." Issei sighed with a slump. Ophis gave a little stomp when his shoulders bent, increasing her weight slightly, and Issei immediately straightened. "Just training a bit."
"To beat up Baka Red."
"What are you doing here this early," Issei asked, ignoring the dragon in the room.
Gasper wasn't lazy by any stretch of the imagination, but usually, he had to be dragged to any sort of training because of his fear of his power, aversion to sunlight, or desire to remain inside.
To put it bluntly, if Issei was a regular boy still adjusting to the supernatural, Gasper Vladi was a supernatural shut-in.
And a cross-dresser, but that was neither here nor there.
"I... I need to get stronger," the blonde dhampir muttered quietly through panting breaths. "I need to get Val's Gear back."
Despite the ache in his spine and the seriousness of the topic, Issei couldn't help the wide grin on his face.
"That's right!" The boy agreed cheerfully. "Us boys are outnumbered a lot, so we gotta step up. Us men have to be strong enough and tough enough to protect everyone!"
"R-right," Gasper tried to cheer, but he stumbled over his own feet, falling onto his face.
Issei hurried to help him up as the small blond boy rubbed his head in pain.
"Balor is weak," Ophis said bluntly. Gasper's eyes started to water, and he tried to hide behind Issei from her deadpan gaze. Ophis just turned around on Issei's head to look down at the dhampir. "I, help."
A black snake of power fell from her hand, crashing into the floor hard enough to dent it despite only being the size of her hand, and it hissed at the cross-dresser.
"Wah!" Gasper cried, trying to run away.
The snake chased, nipping at the boy's heels whenever it got close.
"Hey! Leave Gasper alone," Issei cried, trying to look up at the Dragon God.
She remained perfectly vertical on his scalp, and Issei almost fell over as the dragon's weight became completely perpendicular to his own.
"Why?" Ophis asked. "I, am helping."
"HELP!" Gasper yelled as the black snake bit his heel again.
"He's crying!"
"So? Vali says tears are weakness leaving the body."
Freaking battle maniacs.
"There is a difference between tears of effort and tears of fear," Issei said in exasperation.
"There is?"
Issei was getting nowhere fast, and as Gasper raced past him to continue fleeing the snake, he dove at the creature, trying to wrestle it down.
Faster than he could blink, the snake slithered out of his grasp and closer to the fleeing dhampir.
"He wants to be fast," Ophis 'explained.' "Ddraig needs to be strong and tough. I help both."
Her body grew heavier again, and Issei had to force himself to sit up.
"Wah!" Gasper cried again. He immediately turned into a group of bats, trying to escape into the air.
The snake split itself and flew after every bat.
"Why are you helping like this?" Issei grunted out, pushing up on his hands and knees.
"Le Fay says I need to help to get help," Ophis said simply. "Giving Ddraig power won't help with training. Ddraig can't have another cookie. I, help this way. Ddraig gets stronger. Balor gets stronger. Ddraig and Balor help Eren beat up Baka Red."
"We're not going to help Eren!" Issei repeated for the dozenth time.
"I, help more. Then, Ddraig has to help Eren."
At any other point, Issei would appreciate the kuudere's simple and pure approach to life. Ophis wasn't evil. She just didn't understand or care about complexities. She wanted something and would pursue it.
He couldn't appreciate it because that same pursuit was aiding Eren, who was leading a terrorist organization, seemed hell-bent on destroying the Underworld, and needed to sacrifice Issei to get Boosted Gear to do it all.
And it was his friend doing all this on top of it.
Still, knowing she was just trying to help instead of hurt the younger boy stopped him from summoning the Boosted Gear to aid his fellow devil.
Gasper was moving faster than before, after all.
By the time Issei managed to stand up again, panting and wheezing under the Dragon God's magically enhanced weight, Gasper had reformed into his devil body and was lying face down on the ground.
With stumbling steps, the Rook checked on the cross-dresser and found he had just passed out from exhaustion.
"Balor needs more stamina," Ophis pointed out bluntly.
"He's a Bishop," Issei said, picking up the younger boy.
The weight was nothing compared to the small girl on his head. Issei managed to carry Gasper over to a nearby mat and lay him in a more comfortable position.
"So?"
Issei sighed again. It seemed like he was doing that a lot today.
And the sun wasn't even up yet.
Issei dragged his already sore body toward the magically enhanced weights.
For a few minutes, as he started his workout, Issei let his mind wander to his friends, his place in the world, and the future.
He was half confined to the Hyoudou Residence with Ophis, seeing as Eren was supposedly after them both, and couldn't help but wonder when he'd be able to take Asia out again.
He hoped they figured something out soon. He wanted to visit the burger place he first took her to for their six-month anniversary.
That was something boyfriends did, right? Die for me? It wouldn't bore her, right?
Still, the thoughts prompted him to speak up with a question.
"Hey, Ophis?" Issei asked suddenly to the girl. She had migrated from his head to his chest as he exercised.
Still weighed the same, though and every breath was a struggle for the Red Dragon Emperor.
"Yes?"
"Why are you helping Eren?"
"Eren will kill Baka Red."
So she claimed. Issei had no idea how anyone could think of killing Ophis, let alone something that kicked her out of her home.
"Right," Issei grunted with effort. "But you don't want to go through with his plan, right?"
"Right."
"So why are you going to keep helping him?"
"I, do not understand." Ophis tilted her head. "Is Ddraig stupid? To beat up Baka Red."
Issei never thought he'd have to do this, but if he was going to get any answers, he'd have to dumb things down.
"Why do you want to beat up Great Red?"
"Baka Red is loud," Ophis frowned in one of the greatest displays of emotion Issei had seen from her yet. "Annoying. I, want silence."
"But, can't you just, I don't know, go to space or something?" Issei vaguely remembered something about sound not travelling in space.
Was that from school? No, now he remembered. It was from 'Uchuujin Oppai Three: Invasion of the Space Oppai.'
"Space is loud. Everything is loud. Home was quiet. Before Baka Red."
Issei didn't get it, and that was clear on his face. Ophis pouted.
"Air is loud. People are loud. Ground is loud. Underworld is loud." Ophis vaguely gestured around herself. "Everything is loud."
Issei still didn't get it.
[Partner,] Ddraig spoke up within Issei. [Ophis is the Dragon of Infinite. She was born of the infinite nothingness of the Dimension Gap. She is the oldest being in existence, even more than Great Red. When she left the Gap, Great Red, who was born from the infinite dreams of our world, filled the void she left. She isn't talking about actual sound but about 'reality.' Or perhaps 'anything that prevents her from being infinite.' Or, 'anything not me.' She just calls it sound because there is no word for it.]
"Oh!" Issei finally got it. "You have synesthesia!"
Issei was proud that he knew the word, even if it was only because it was the main gameplay gimmick in 'Erotic Whispers.'
Issei was pretty sure Ophis hearing certain sounds didn't translate to a sensation of pleasure, but it gave him a basis to grasp.
Ophis just tilted her head at the unfamiliar word.
"I, do not know what that is." Ophis nodded despite her confusion. "Ddraig is right. 'Reality' is loud. And Baka Red is annoying. His stunts are lame."
"But, if Eren goes through with his plan, you'll be limited as well?" Issei asked, confused about the exact mechanics.
Supposedly, this 'Samael' was the manifestation of the God of the Bible's hatred for dragons and was created to be their perfect counter but was sealed away in Cocytus before ever being used against either Ophis or Great Red.
That same seal that Leviathan-sama told them they found empty a few days after Ackerman-sensei told them of... of the past.
"Yes. I, will be limited. Weak." Ophis nodded. "Only twice as strong as Ddraig or Albion."
Issei couldn't help but compare their definitions of 'weak.' Twice as strong as the Heavenly Dragons, who fought all three factions during the Great War, was 'weak' to the girl on his chest, yet Issei would be thrilled if he ever got that strong.
Certainly, nobody would attack them then, right? Call me Senpai. He'd be strong enough to bring Eren home then, right?
"That's why you don't want to do it?"
Ophis nodded.
Then, she shook her head.
With a grunt of effort, Issei put down the weights.
"That's not the only reason?" Issei guessed as he wiped the sweat from his face.
"Hurts," Ophis nodded.
"I can imagine," Issei muttered, absently rubbing his chest where, only a few months ago, a spear had pierced it.
Ophis nodded her head, then shook it again.
"Hurst. Silence is worth power. But..." Ophis trailed off as if searching for the right words. "Taking my power will hurt Ddraig. Eren will hurt. Kuroka. Vali. Bikou. Arthur. Le Fay. Hurts them, too. That hurts."
It took Issei a moment of thought to realize what the Dragon God was talking about.
"The pain hurts, but taking your power will hurt me, which will hurt Eren, which will hurt the others? Physically? Emotionally?" Issei guessed. "And you don't want them to be hurt?"
Ophis nodded, and only his long-time training with Koneko and, recently, Mikasa allowed him to notice the almost imperceptible frown on her face.
"It makes you sad, right," Issei said, unable to stop himself from reaching out and patting the girl's head. "You don't want people you care about to be sad. That's why you ran away from Eren, isn't it? If I help him willingly, he won't have to hurt me, so he won't be sad."
"Ddraig becomes a Wall," Ophis nodded simply. "Gives power to Eren. Eren beats up Baka Red. Nobody is sad."
"But I can't do that," Issei shook his head. "I don't know Eren's full plan, but it's going to kill a lot of people. And a lot of people are going to be sad. Like me and my friends."
"Eren's plan," Ophis shook her head as well. "It makes him sad as well. My plan is better. Nobody is sad."
"You care about him a lot," Issei said wryly, wishing things were as simple as the Dragon God thought them to be.
He fully believed Eren didn't wish to kill a bunch of people, or at least innocent people in his eyes. Issei might not know Senpai as well as Ackerman-sensei or Kuroka, but he remembered their conversations well.
Eren... he had wanted to be a hero, hadn't he? Like Issei. He'd mentioned something about it when talking about saving Mikasa as a child.
But the world was too complicated, too cruel for heroes. Hearing about it all from Mikasa, Issei could vividly imagine himself in his Senpai's place.
Expectations pilled up on him, and he pushed through all the pain to try and meet them, only to get more pain in the end as the very world betrayed him.
Nobody was a protagonist. Nobody was a hero.
They were just a bunch of idiots chasing their dreams.
"Eren is a grumpy mom," Ophis nodded. "Kuroka is a lazy dad. Vali, Bikou, and Arthur are troublesome big brothers. Le Fay is fun little sister."
"That... is one way to think of him," Issei said with a wry grin.
Personally, he always thought of Eren as the 'mysterious sensei' type more than a mom, but he hadn't really lived with him to know what he was like off the bench.
"I, miss silence," Ophis muttered, staring off into the distance. "...and home."
"The Gap?"
"Home is Gap and... a valley. That way." The little girl pointed in a direction but Issei had no idea what was in that direction. Maybe west? Or north?
"Where you stayed with Vali?" Issei asked as he lay back down on the bench, his little break over.
"And Eren, before he left," Ophis nodded.
"Well, it might not be the Dimensional Gap, but after we stop Eren, you can go back there with him."
"Ddraig can not beat Eren."
"Maybe not," Issei shrugged, getting back into position. "I'm pretty dumb, though. I'm gonna try. And even if I don't win, I just gotta be tough enough that he can't beat me either. Then he'll have to stop to talk."
"...Ddraig is dumb." Ophis deadpaned in agreement.
Ouch.
"Call me Issei," the Red Dragon Emperor sighed as he resumed exercising.
Ophis nodded once, then left his chest to sit on the bar, adding a thousand pounds of weight to it.
Rook strength or not, Issei hadn't used any Boosts.
The heavy metal fell onto his chest, crushing the air from his lungs.
"I, help dumb Issei," Ophis said as Issei struggled to lift the material choking him out.
"Thank. You." Issei wheezed out, face turning red.
Gasper chose that moment to wake up.
Seeing the Infinite Dragon God choking his senpai out, he screamed, freezing time for Issei.
When it wore off, Issei was still under the bar, and Ophis had resumed her snake to chase the cross-dressing dhampir again.
The worst part?
Devil and Sacred Gear growth rate being what they were, both Issei and Gasper did get some decent gains before they joined their friends for combat training after lunch.
Ophis, of course, continued to 'help' Issei as she stayed at the Hyoudou Residence, much to his consternation and Asia's shyness.
Xenovia didn't care that the little girl would barge in on them at all hours of the day, claiming it was 'training time.'
Issei seriously admired her lack of shame.
It was hard for Issei to stay mad at the Dragon God, even as she continued to insist he help Eren. She was just trying to protect her friends.
That, and seeing her watch Oppai Dragon on Le Fay's lap, was too cute, even for him.
Issei could have done without the commentary on how 'weak' Oppai Dragon was, though.
Even if his exhaustion continued to grow as the week wore on. Every day was more stressful than the last as everyone seemed to be waiting for some signal, some sign, that Eren would be making his move.
Ophis' interruptions were just a cherry on top of the tense atmosphere and were a bit of comic relief to the dreary mood everyone seemed to be in.
After one such interruption at four in the morning on a school night, Issei dragged himself down the stairs to grab something to eat before starting the day.
He had mistakenly trained with Ophis on an empty stomach exactly once. Never again.
Issei could be forgiven for not noticing the abnormality right away. Not only was he tired and stressed, but despite his best efforts, he hadn't been around threats to his life long enough to really develop the sense of incongruity many did when something was off.
Issei wasn't a soldier and had only seen combat outside Rating Games a few times. For all his power, he simply had not developed the kind of instinct those exposed to long-time danger did.
So, while sleepily munching on a piece of toast and looking out the window, he didn't make any particular note of how misty the morning was.
He did notice the two figures on the street, however.
He barely heard the vague sounds of the others coming down the stairs as his brain caught up to what he was looking at.
Despite the mist, the street lamp gave enough light for Issei's devil eyes to identify Ophis without issue.
The other figure was deeper into the mist and out of the light, but it hadn't been so long that Issei Hyoudou had forgotten what his Senpai looked like as Eren held out a hand for Ophis to take.