"Aunty, do you have a minute to talk?" Sona asked as she emerged from her teleportation circle.
Mikasa looked up in surprise at the sudden arrival of her honorary niece. Sona felt bad about showing up unannounced, but she wanted to talk to her sister's Pawn without her Peerage around.
Or her family.
"I do," Mikasa said slowly, standing up from tending to her vegetable garden. She brushed herself off before giving Sona a long look. "I will put on some tea."
Sona gave her aunt a soft, if slightly nervous, smile.
That show of emotion, more than anything, had Mikasa giving her another look before she entered her small cabin, Sona following along.
The young devil didn't know if what she was about to do was right.
Satan's, she had fought against almost this exact thing a few weeks ago. But now, with the approach of the Young Devils gathering, Sona felt herself evaluating herself, her future, and what she wanted.
So Sona had come to the only person she felt could provide her with the answers she needed.
As always, Sona was struck by the humbleness of her aunt's residence.
Mikasa's house was small, far from the opulence of her own family's estate or even that of most Sitri servants. Only one story tall and wide enough for a living room, a small bedroom, a kitchen and a bathroom.
Despite technically owning more land than some countries, the only part of her property the Pawn used was a few acres of fenced-in yard with her garden.
Mikasa lived a quiet, secluded life far from combat or politics. She did not have an official position or list of duties like other members of the Satans' Peerage. The only time she ever left her land was if Serafall dragged her somewhere or to visit Sona.
It was a humble existence, one at odds with the incredible warrior Sona knew her aunt could be.
The only hint of the woman's combat abilities was the half-decorative sword over the fireplace. Flat and palm-wide with two triggers for the handle, Sona noted idly that it looked like Eren's cane blade, only wider and with a different handle.
But that was superficial at best.
The thinness of Eren's weapon was designed to be inconspicuous and fit in a cane, whereas this was how the sword on the mantle had always been, according to her aunt.
Mikasa had it created as a memento of her time fighting as a human. She never used it in actual combat. Odds were, as flimsy as it was, it wouldn't even pierce the skin of a Mid-class devil.
Mikasa used regular enchanted swords these days. She still used them disposably, and Sona knew that most of her aunt's money went to keeping the storage item her sister had given her Pawn full of blades with assorted effects.
A rich person's version of Blade Blacksmith.
It wasn't like Mikasa had anything else to spend her money on, and her fighting style had heavily contributed to Kiba's crush on her when he trained under her for a summer as a child.
Then Sona could distract herself no longer as her aunt approached with the tea.
"What is the matter," Mikasa asked somewhat bluntly as she set a cup of tea in front of Sona before sitting on the opposite seat in the small living room. "And why couldn't it wait a few hours?"
"I wished to speak with you away from my sister, my parents, and my Peerage," Sona admitted as she sipped the warm beverage.
It was an ordinary green tea without a sweetener, but Sona still appreciated it. It reminded her of the many days she'd come to her aunt's little corner of the Underworld to read in peace.
"First of all, thank you again for your help training my Peerage. We will need all the experience we can get to stand up to the likes of Sairaorg and Rias. Even Seekviara, Diadora, and Zephyrdor shall be a challenge to overcome, and I will need to put on a good showing. Your help is greatly appreciated in getting my team ready."
The older woman looked Sona in the eyes for a long second before nodding and giving her a small smile.
"I am happy to help." Then her smile faded, and Mikasa's eyes narrowed. "Why are you here, Sona?"
Sona took another sip of her tea, looking anywhere but at her aunt.
"I believe," the heiress hedged slowly. "That I may be developing an interest in a boy. Romantically, that is."
Sona's ears burned in embarrassment as she stared into her tea.
Nothing was said for a long moment, and eventually, the young devil had to look up as the silence got to her.
Mikasa was staring at her, wide-eyed and mouth slightly ajar. An almost imperceptible flush to her cheeks.
Catching Sona's eyes, Mikasa closed her mouth and cleared her throat, the flush spreading further along her cheeks.
"I see," the Pawn said, a slight creak in her voice. She took a sip of tea, looking out the window so as not to meet Sona's eyes again. "I suppose you are at that age. I understand why you would not wish your sister to know about... that. But why not approach your mother if you have questions? Why me?"
"He is human," Sona said plainly, and Mikasa gave a slight wince.
Sona loved her parents, she really did, but they were pureblood devils through and through. They would be able to accept her falling in love with a reincarnated devil, albeit reluctantly, if they grew to High-class status.
But a human?
Forget joining a convent, Sona's parents would force her to become a magical girl on her sister's show.
Much worse.
"Are you planning to reincarnate him?" Mikasa asked curiously, looking at the younger girl again.
"It... It is complicated," Sona hedged lightly, not wanting to get into the specifics of Eren.
At least for the moment.
Her initial reasoning for keeping him a secret from her sister and honorary aunt was still valid, after all. In a few years, she could explain everything.
Or never.
Sona liked 'never' better.
"For the moment, he will not be becoming a devil," Sona said, brushing over the subject. She wasn't even sure Eren knew about devils, let alone that she was one. "But that is one of the things I wanted to ask about. My parents would not understand me liking a human, but you were one. So I would like your advice."
"About what," Mikasa asked with a lightly furrowed brow.
"Um," Sona cleared her throat lightly, looking away.
Satans, this was awkward.
Not just because it was about romance but because of what she was about to ask and the effect it might have on the woman.
If there was something spending time with Eren had taught her, it was that trauma could crop up at the most unexpected times. Wounds could be opened by accident.
Only Sona wasn't planning on accidentally hurting her aunt. Her question would be the equivalent of stabbing a scar with a new blade.
Satans, how did Rias handle things like this?
As Sona gathered her courage, Mikasa remained silent, face in her usual neutral expression.
"Mortality," Sona eventually bit out, babbling at the awkwardness. "That is, humans are, I mean, they die and are fragile, and you never know, and we live for so long-"
"Stop," Mikasa interrupted the younger girl. "Take a deep breath. Then speak. This isn't like you."
Sona filled her lungs, held her breath, and let out the breath.
"Right," the Sitri heiress nodded, some of her usual composure returning. "My apologies. I just fear the topic is sensitive and will cause you distress."
"Don't be afraid of hurting my feelings," Mikasa said bluntly. "I can handle it."
"Very well," Sona nodded and asked the question she was here for with her chin held high to meet her aunt's eyes.
"If you were in love with someone who would die soon, would you tell them how you feel?"
"Yes."
The answer wasn't just immediate. It was instant.
Sona didn't even have time to finish her question before Mikasa had spoken. Nor did she have time to be surprised because her aunt, in a rare moment, started talking at length.
"I would not only tell them I loved them, I would show it. Every day, every minute they had left that we still had together, I would spend it all proving how much I loved him."
"What if you are rejected," Sona asked. "What if they don't feel the same?"
"So what," Mikasa stared into Sona's eyes for a long second before her gaze drifted out the window. "You are young. You do not understand how cruel love can be. Or how beautiful. Even if it hurts, those memories, those feelings... they are more precious than anything."
Normally, Sona would have bristled at those words, her pride being unable to tolerate being dismissed because she was 'young.'
The pain in Mikasa's eyes as they stared at a bird perched on her fence through the window quashed any hurt feelings Sona might have entertained.
"It is one of the greatest disconnects I've faced as a devil," the older woman admitted. "It is so easy to forget when you have power, when you live so long. Death comes quickly. The swipe of a blade. Human or devil, it doesn't matter. There are always regrets. Never enough time. So, make the most of what you have. Even if it hurts. Even if he doesn't feel the same way. Because the moments you miss will hurt more than any rejection ever will."
Sona adjusted her glasses as she thought over Mikasa's words.
They were hard to accept.
Not because she believed the Pawn was wrong, per se, but because the situation with Eren was just so unconventional.
If he had a regular human lifetime, it would make sense. Or if they had known each other for longer.
But Eren only had a year left, if that.
Even if everything went perfectly, they would only be 'together' briefly. With such limited time, was it not better to simply remain friends and enjoy the current relationship?
And that was assuming everything went perfectly.
There was every possibility Eren didn't feel the same way about her, or even if he did, he wouldn't want to engage in romance with his impending demise.
Would telling him about her devil status and the Evil Pieces be better or worse in that situation?
Would Eren think Sona was trying to take advantage of his situation and possibly their feelings to reincarnate him?
Would Eren give up his freedom for love if they did come to love each other?
Sona was objective enough with herself, even if inexperienced with matters of the heart, to know she liked Eren. She cared for him, and she could see pursuing a relationship with him. But was that love? Sona didn't think so.
Sona was not Rias. She could not easily give out her heart.
Both a strength and a weakness, Sona reflected.
"You don't believe me," Mikasa said, studying Sona intently as she sipped her tea.
"I do," Sona nodded, pulled from her thoughts. "It is..." Sona struggled to put the thoughts into words. "Unless something happens, I will live for thousands of years. He will not. I do not believe he would welcome becoming a devil, even if I offered it, so we are going to part no matter what. And I will have to find a husband eventually."
Sona was not Rias.
She would do her duty to her family. She had escaped her own arranged marriage but still intended to continue the Sitri house one day. It had been timing, more than anything, that had led to her rejecting the marriage. She didn't want to tie herself to another Pureblood devil until her dream was already underway.
"I suppose I do not want my memories to be tainted," Sona admitted, looking down into her tea. "Whatever happens now, I will live with it for the rest of my life. And, knowing that I will outlive him, it doesn't feel right. Even if he felt the same way, he could give me the rest of his life, his whole heart, but I cannot promise the same. Like I am just allocating a section of my heart, knowing I will have to give most of it to someone else. And that feels unfair. He doesn't deserve that."
"Do not do that!"
Sona jumped at the suddenness of the order.
Mikasa stared her adopted niece down and, for the first time today, Sona felt the force of the woman.
Sona was a High-Class devil. While the likes of Sairaorg and Rias might overpower her, she was still one of the greatest devils of her generation.
Mikasa was a Pawn with not a single drop of magic to her name. She had no Sacred Gear or unique heritage.
Yet one of them had killed a fully grown Red Dragon Emperor.
And it wasn't Sona.
"Do not base your happiness on others!" Mikasa ordered. "Love. Always love. But never let love be chains."
Always chase freedom. Never become a slave to it.
"Nobody deserves anything," Mikasa said lowly, hand idly shifting her scarf. "Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. That is life."
Sona bit her lip.
She knew her aunt spoke the truth. Knew that life was unfair. The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer.
Power begets power. Weakness begets weakness.
Education was the great equalizer.
The pen to defeat the sword.
It was one of the main reasons Sona dreamed of a school. One for everybody. Regardless of race, bloodline, or status.
To build a school where everyone got the same opportunities and where effort and dedication were rewarded regardless of the unfair advantages of the outside world.
Where the weak could grow to defeat the strong, and the strong could face their own weaknesses.
Such a school would be the ultimate paradise for a girl born into wealth and privilege yet eternally cast in a frozen shadow.
Sona still had a long way to go.
"The man I loved died when I was your age."
Sona blinked, torn from her thoughts.
She looked up, but Mikasa wasn't looking at her anymore. She was staring out the window again.
Her face was blank.
Not the regular neutral expression of the woman who rarely emoted that Sona knew, but the blankness of a broken doll.
Mikasa rarely ever talked about her past. She had heard it brought up maybe five times in all of Sona's life.
Her aunt wasn't shy about the fact she came from another world, but getting any specifics about it was like pulling teeth. Partly, that was due to how quiet Mikasa was as a woman and her isolated lifestyle, but a much larger part was due to how the Pawn withdrew whenever she talked about it.
All Sona knew was that Mikasa had been human, a soldier of some sort, married with a child, died of old age, and that her world had no magic. But every time a young, inquisitive Sona had tried to ask more, her aunt would close off.
Like the pain and regrets sealed her mouth.
Sona hated seeing her aunt like that. Like she carried a sadness with her that chained her to the ground. Sona usually avoided bringing up anything touching Mikasa's time as a human as much as possible. It was one of the reasons Sona had been so hesitant to talk to her today.
Yet the heiress would be lying if she said she wasn't interested in learning more about the woman who had been there for her entire life.
Torn between the desire to ask questions and the wish to spare the woman she loved the pain memories brought, Sona kept quiet.
Whatever Mikasa said, it would be by her own choice.
"We all knew he was on a time limit," Mikasa continued, watching the bird hop along the fence. "Yet I..."
The Pawn stopped.
The bird flew away.
"I never told him how I felt. Not till it was too late."
Sona had never heard Mikasa sound so small. So weak.
"Because he was going to die?"
"No."
The porcelain cracked, and Mikasa's blank face twisted. Warped into such a subtle yet profound example of grief and self-loathing that Sona had only seen the like once before.
On Eren, the day he told them about the woman he had loved and left behind.
"Because I was scared," Mikasa admitted. "I always wanted to, but the fear choked me. Even when he asked me what he meant to me, I could not say the words. I told myself we had time. Years. When I was older, when things were safer, I'd tell him. I'd be strong enough to tell him."
Mikasa's eyes met Sonas for the first time since her confession.
"There wasn't more time." Mikasa's voice cracked from the heartbreak. "We thought we had years. When he asked me what he meant to me, it was his last chance. He was out of time. I have never regretted anything more in my life than not being able to say 'I love you' that night."
Sona didn't know what to say, so she stayed silent.
Mikasa's tea cup was gently placed on the table as the Pawn walked around and sat beside Sona. She pulled the younger devil into a hug.
Sona let herself be held. Her aunt was always more conservative with physical affection, so these rare moments were always nice.
"Sorry."
"For what?"
"That you are going through this," Mikasa said softly. Her own eyes were moist. "That I can't be more help. That you don't feel like you can talk to your sister or parents. I am sorry that your first love hurts. And I am sorry that I can't say it gets better. I learned to love my husband. Having Grisha and seeing him grow were some of my life's happiest moments. But the love and pain they never left me. Not a day didn't go by where I didn't wish for him back, for more time, or for things to be different."
An admittance of weakness from a woman Sona had always seen as a pillar of strength.
"Why can't things be simple," Sona asked in a small voice. Her own eyes were damp. "Why am I so weak? Why does he have to die?"
"Children shouldn't worry about life and death," Mikasa said softly, pretending not to feel the dampness on her clothes.
"We're devils," Sona shook her head as she pulled away. She surreptitiously wiped her eyes. "I learned how to drown a man when I was five. I killed my first Stray when I was ten. We grow up on stories of the Great War. Our racial hobby is a blood sport. Life and death are just a part of who we are."
"That doesn't make it right."
"Maybe," Sona said. "Fighting, killing, ruling. I am good at that. But it is love that I don't understand. That is complicated. What is the right thing to do? How do I make sure we are happy?"
"There is no perfect answer."
"Funny you should say that," Sona laughed lightly. Her voice hitched. "He said the same thing."
"Sounds like a smart boy," Mikasa smiled gently at her honorary niece. "But I am not surprised. Our Sona would only go for the smart ones."
Sona acknowledged the compliment for what it was but felt the need to correct her aunt, if only in her mind.
Eren wasn't really smart. He wasn't dumb by any means, but he wasn't the intellectual genius Sona had often imagined herself with when she was younger.
Eren was wise.
A wisdom born from experience rather than intelligence. Paid for with blood and pain.
Sona firmly believed in education. Her dream was to make it available to everyone. But she could admit that there had been a bias in her thoughts against those who were not educated.
Then, someone who had never finished elementary school had seen depths and implications in a light novel of all things. Something Sona had read herself yet had never given much thought.
That had been the moment.
When someone Sona had thought of as a 'student' taught her something. Eren ceased to be a 'test for future students' and had become an equal.
Maybe someone she could come to love.
"Can I ask you for another favour?" Sona asked.
Her aunt had helped clarify a few things in her mind. Sona, once she made a decision, was a girl of action.
"Anything."
"My newest member, Saji, is romantically interested in me," she explained.
This would be step one: wiping the board clean.
"I remember him. Your Pawn, right?
"I can't see him that way," Sona admitted. "I do not feel right engaging in such a relationship with my Peerage."
"Isn't that common for Kings?" Mikasa asked with a tilt of her head. Technically, the Pawn could start her own Peerage as she had her own Evil Pieces, but she had yet to see any point.
"For others," Sona nodded. "But I cannot be that way. I need to be a leader they can trust to make the best decisions for everyone. A relationship with one or more of them would, by necessity, mean I am partial to them over the others."
If the time ever came when Sona was forced to make a call to sacrifice the few for the many, or something equally as bad, she needed her Peerage to trust her to be fair and just. To not let her feelings blind her.
"You were always such a responsible girl," Mikasa said fondly. "What do you need me to do?"
"Talk to him," Sona said. "A few of my Peerage are interested in him, but his focus on me blinds him. I have already explained my position, but coming from someone else might help him understand."
"I am not good with... talking like that," Mikasa admitted, shuffling in the seat beside Sona. "Not with people I don't know."
"I know," Sona admitted.
Her aunt spent most of her time alone, and today had been one of the most prolonged conversations they had held together. Barring Serafall, whose conversations usually involved the Leviathan doing all the talking, Sona was not aware of anyone else who had spent a long time talking to the Pawn.
"I am sorry to ask it of you. But I recently saw how much an outside perspective can help in such matters."
Now, if only Issei and Asia would stop being so lovey-dovey in front of Sona, she'd appreciate it.
This would also give her aunt more time to socialize, even if Sona's Peerage was considerably younger than Mikasa.
Serafall and Sona had been struggling to get the Pawn more friends for years. Talking to Sona's Peerage could help her open up more.
If it worked with Eren, it could work with Mikasa, right?
Sona was taking a play out of Eren's book, manipulating others for them to find happiness when they wouldn't chase it themselves.
Sona was sick of seeing people holed up in the corner of a world waiting to die.
"Can you not go to someone else," Mikasa asked.
Sona just looked at her aunt with a raised brow.
If her liking a boy would bring trouble from her family (read: Sister), then someone liking Sona but her not returning the feelings would lead to a second Civil War.
Or an assassination of her newest Pawn by hypothermia.
"The only other person I would trust with such a conversation is... well, he is the one Saji is jealous of."
The idea of Eren giving Saji romantic advice, like he did with Issei, put a smile on Sona's face. She wouldn't do it, as it would just be mean-spirited, but the idea was amusing.
"Ah," Mikasa said lamely. "I see."
"So will you? Just a few minutes after training will be fine."
"I guess?"
"Thank you," Sona hugged her aunt tightly.
Mikasa sighed lightly before returning the hug.
Sona still needed to figure out if she would end up confessing to Eren but decided that it would depend on whether he accepted Rias' offer.
Mikasa's words did have an effect, though. They had solidified Sona's resolve.
Time was limited. Both Eren's and hers.
If she wanted to change the world, to force her dream into existence, she needed to move forward more confidently.
The Underworld could either keep up or be left behind.