1-
The old one-room schoolhouse on Sumner Lane had been converted into a small library soon after Daniel and Amanda had bought their house in a cul-de-sac on Pine Street. Although it was small, it was convenient and within walking distance. Amanda often frequented the place after work, and the librarians knew her by name. On more than one occasion she found herself at the end of the younger women's smirks, so she would only check out books if Adam were there because he was indifferent to everybody.
Amanda was standing in the 500 section when Adam asked if she was looking for something in particular. She was brief in her explanation of trying to start a garden and was looking for books about crops. He found three with his usual speed and accuracy, once again astounding Amanda with his knowledge of topics. She thanked him for his help and sat down in the darkest corner she could find and opened a book.
The smell of Pledge coming from the table where she sat took her back to her childhood when she and her mother would spend hours together in the Glendale Library and at the age of four, her foundation for reading had been laid. Amanda's lips relaxed into a peaceful smile as she recalled sitting in her mother's lap turning endless pages while sounding out words. When she was five, she would read aloud from a corner of the carpet surrounded by a small pile of books. By the time she turned seven, Amanda had read every book in the children's section at least once.
She looked up from her page and was surprised to see a little boy staring at her. She did not care for kids and had let Daniel know early in their marriage she did not want any. He agreed, not wanting anything to interfere with his goals. Yet as the years went by, Amanda knew he regretted her option of sterilization when he would hear the other doctors talk about coaching Little League or taking their child to practice. "Yes?"
The little boy shook his head and darted past her to the friendly section of the library lit up by large windows and Dr. Suess posters. She rolled her eyes, bent back over her book, and studied soil types. It was after three when she glanced up and was surprised to see she was almost halfway through the volume. "I should have brought a notebook," Amanda mumbled closing it. She gathered the other two books and went to the checkout desk.
"I haven't seen you in a while, Amanda. How is Daniel?"
Amanda eyed the petite librarian. Unlike her unkempt ponytail, the other woman had a gleaming cap of honey-blonde hair fastened at the nape of her neck with a blue barrette that matched her dress. The sneer in her voice matched the one on her lips which had been slashed in a shade of dull scarlet. Her skin was flawless and tanned. Amanda's pale tone gave her a sickly appearance on any given day underneath a sprig of freckles covering her cheeks. "Why do you care?"
"Elizabeth was just trying to be nice, Amanda," said Florence.
Amanda's focus shifted to the librarian standing behind Elizabeth. Like her coworker, she too had been kissed by the sun and wore a similar dress and barrette in her auburn hair. It made Amanda wonder idly if the two of them coordinated their wardrobes. She imagined them on a Saturday afternoon sitting outside of a place like Du Monde's sipping coffee and planning the next book club meeting in between their gossip. The thought almost gave her a headache. "I want to check these out."
Elizabeth opened the flap and pulled out a card, stamped it with the due date, and did the same to the cardholder. "Reference books are due back in a week."
Amanda watched Elizabeth stamp the rest of the books with more force than necessary. She stacked them with her usual precision and thrust them across the desk. Amanda picked up the small pile which had come to a precarious stop at the edge of the counter. She sighed. "Where's Adam?"
Adam heard his name and approached the desk. He noticed the friction and turned to Amanda. "Is everything alright?"
Amanda's look was unreadable and cold. "No. I want to file a complaint. May I have a piece of paper please?"
-2-
It was after 6:00 when Daniel entered the kitchen. Amanda was sitting at the table taking notes while smoke drifted towards them from the stove. The window over the sink was wide open providing an outlet for what was burning. He rushed over and turned off the burner. "Jesus, Amanda."
She looked up from her notebook. "What?"
"Don't you smell the smoke?" As if on cue the smoke alarm above the kitchen entryway started a harsh series of beeps. He grabbed a towel and fanned the air in front of it.
She looked over at the frying pan. It wasn't the first time she scorched a meal. "I was in the mood for Chinese, anyway."
Daniel muttered under his breath as he headed upstairs to wash off the grass from mowing the lawn and get a change of clothes. Amanda's finger followed the text about which vegetables could be started or grown indoors once the ground had frozen. Upstairs she heard the water running in the bathroom. She paused, put the pen she was using between the pages, and closed the book. She stretched then picked up her notebook and looked over what she had copied down. As much as she could see the purpose of working with Pastor Richmond, she wondered if there was any point in it.
She got up from the kitchen table, looked out the window, and found herself leaning over the sink, peering at the hickory tree. It saddened her to see the arms which had become bare almost overnight. The branches were skeletal, almost frail as they pointed skyward as if to ask why they had been left vulnerable to the onslaught of the changing weather. Amanda backed away from the accusing vessel. It seemed to demand an answer as to why she was warm while it was left out to freeze from the elements. She could almost hear it saying, "This is unfair!" A small chill ran down her spine as she closed the window and as she was leaving the kitchen she looked over her shoulder as if she almost expected to see it standing by the house, pounding on the glass.
Daniel was tucking in his shirt when Amanda entered the bedroom. She walked over to the mirror, pulled out her hair tie, and started brushing her hair. "Are you alright, Amanda?"
She turned around in surprise. "As far as I know."
He studied her. "I got a call from Elizabeth's husband. She said you filed a complaint at the library."
Amanda turned back to the mirror. "Oh, that. The one was being vapid and I wasn't in the mood."
Daniel walked up behind her, gripped her shoulders gently, and kissed her neck. "Maybe we should take a vacation sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We could go to Bermuda or maybe Cancun."
"You know I don't like the beach," she said turning her head away.
"We could stay inside and have a second honeymoon."
Amanda's eyes clouded. Daniel saw the storm beneath and dropped his hands. "Really? Is getting laid the answer to every problem?"
Her words stung. "Damn it, Amanda. I just want to spend some time with you outside of your only need for me to be someone to help you deal with people. I know you're under pressure. Will you stop pushing me away?"
Amanda looked down. She wanted to tell him she loved him, even admired him for caring enough to stay with her. She knew her detached emotional state drove others away. She sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. Maybe a trip to Cancun will do us good."
Although it had been planned, Dr. Thompson's retirement had snuck up on her. She knew he had a lot of respect for her in the field but was surprised when she was called into his office a week before his party and asked if she would succeed him when he stepped down. She stammered her acceptance and thanked him. Daniel had been with her when Dr. Thompson made the announcement during a dinner being held in his honor. At the table, she squeezed his hand until his fingers grated against each other, turning her pale hand whiter. He held his breath as she made her way to the podium when Dr. Thompson declared she would be his successor, and wondered if she would collapse before she read the short speech she had prepared. When she concluded, her complexion was ashen. Daniel had risen from his seat and made his way to her, knowing if she was left standing much longer, she would pass out.
"You need a break," Daniel said firmly.
Amanda looked down. She knew there was no point in arguing. At first, she was sullen on the rare occasion when Daniel put his foot down. Now, she welcomed the respite. Like her dependency on him when it came to people outside of work, it gave her a sense of security.