Mikkeli POV
As I wake up from my deep slumber, I feel nothing except tiredness. These last few days, no matter how much I sleep, I still feel tired.
It's been ten days since my brother has been in a coma, it's been eight days since I buried my best friend, and it's been four days since his family left, which made me break my promise to him that if anything happened, I would look after them.
As I am used to, I keep myself together during the day. I am an Alpha; no matter what, I can't show any weakness. Especially not now when my pack suffered such a big loss. But still, I cry every night; for the first time in my life, I allow myself to cry; I allow myself not to be okay. For the first time, I feel there is no shame in feeling weak, in missing something that was taken from us.
Hannah holds me every night as I cry and feel helpless.
The last days I spent away from everything. Hannah, Patrick, and Rose made it clear that they can take care of everything for some time and that I should allow myself to rest. So I try to, during the day, sit with the twins and Hayden and talk to them about him. They like hearing stories about our childhood, and I enjoy it as they tell me about their family. I try not to think too much that if Hayden never wakes up, they will lose another dad. When the boys don't hear me, I whisper to his ears that's enough of playing, and he should open his eyes.
When I'm not with Hayden, I chat with Kyle as we both try to give each other some encouragement and support. I think how much he matured during the last weeks, how much our father was wrong taking him as weak just because his an omega wolf.
In the evening, I go for a run. Byron is in pain, and long, exhausting runs seem to give him some moments of peace. After the run, I usually lock myself in now, empty Beta rooms. In this place, I can still smell Tony. I can't still pretend that my best friend is here with me.
Every night I cry myself to sleep in Hannah's arms, and in the early morning, I carry Rosie. As she used to before, she keeps coming to our bedroom at dusk, and I carry her so she wouldn't wake up Hannah. In the morning, all three of us usually wake up cuddled.
Just like now, Rosie is holding my arm, and I see no Hannah. She must've already got up as today I've woken up quite late. I get dressed and take Rosie to have breakfast; somehow, everybody has accepted lately that I should be taking care of her in the mornings. That is my life now; that is my routine. And despite being sad and tired, I know I slowly get better; I slowly heal.
"Mikkeli," Rose greets me as she enters the kitchen and gives both Rosie and me a tiny smile.
"Where are the boys?" I ask.
"They still sleep," she replies.
I nod my head and ask another question:
"Where is Hannah, again, in my office?"
"You've noticed?"
"I know she is up to something. I've seen her talking with you, Dalton, Jake, Patrick, some warriors, and pack members. And she uses my phone a lot, calling my allies or Hank."
"And yet you haven't asked?"
"She will tell me when she's ready," I sigh. "What doesn't mean I'm not worried."
Rose sits next to me and squeezes my hand lightly.
"Saying goodbye to our loved ones is always painful, but we still have to move on," she says.
I give her a shy smile; I'm not used to getting comfort from others but Tony, Hayden, and now Hannah.
"You know you are a wonderful Alpha, and your mother would be so proud of you if she were still here. I know that losing Tony feels like losing your hand, and his death was so unfair, but we all must keep going. You and Hannah have your whole life ahead of you."
After that, she takes Rosie, and I am left alone. My legs take me exactly to who I want to see. She's sitting in my chair. She looks so tiny in comparison to my huge desk. I notice now how ugly is this piece of furniture. It was my father's, and he liked pompous things.
"I know you are looking at me," she says but keeps checking some papers and doesn't raise her eyes.
I come closer and sit in front of her.
"Do you think you can tell me now what you have been up to the last few days?" I ask.
She freezes for a moment and finally looks at me.
"I've been up to something big; I hope you won't be angry. I took some liberty or a lot of liberty as a Luna even though I'm not a Luna."
I wait, I can see that she is nervous; she looks me straight in the eyes but bites her lips; she has that habit. So I wait as she stands, goes to me, and settles herself on my lap.
"I've prepared the merging or my like inception of a new pack. I think that way we can stop disbanding of Full Moon."
I tense and immediately become focused.
"As you know, if Full Moon stops existing, it will expose us to more danger because sooner or later, this unclaimed land will cause a fight for it. We can't stop disbanding because it's against the Council's rules as well as merging with the disbanding pack, but I've checked, and we can establish a completely new one with a fresh record."
I don't say anything and just listen as she continues:
"According to what I learned, there will be no inheriting of power; all the wolves from both packs will have to pledge their loyalty to you and accept you as a new ruler and protector."
"It will be difficult, a lot happened recently, and I doubt we can just start to trust each other."
"I know it will be difficult; our pack and Ryan's have a lot of bad history, but truth to be told, especially the Full Moon is out of options. The only other way is to become packless wolves and risk their lives every day, hoping that maybe some other pack will accept them. With this deal, they will be able to stay together, families will not have to separate from each other, and they can still live here on their land, in their own houses. I know our pack will be full of suspicion towards them, and for them, it will be difficult to trust that we will treat them fair, but I've spoken with many people here, and even if not everybody is happy about it, they understand my arguments, they understand that this is the best solution for both packs. I know it will also be a very difficult task for you and me. We will have to create a safe space for all of them, we will have to make them united, and it will be a lot of hard work."
"Has Hank put you up to this?" I ask, frowning.
"No, the idea was mine. Hank only wanted to ask us to accept here the families with the smallest children and orphans whose chances of surviving without the pack are pretty low."
"Full Moon may have no other option, but I know that gaining their trust will be difficult. How are they supposed just to come here and believe I won't abuse my power, especially after everything that has happened recently."
She bites her lips harder, and for a moment, she hesitates.
"They will trust us because we will give them security. To make sure that both packs will be seen equally, I want Hank to be your new Beta."
I pale, averting my eyes. I don't know what to say; I don't know what to think as she gently touches my cheek and makes me look at her again.
"I understand it won't be easy. I understand you don't want anybody ever to take Tony's place. But I assure you nobody will ever take his place in your heart and the hearts of other members of this pack, but you cannot lead alone, Mikkeli. You need to have a Beta; you need to have someone to rely on. Hank may never become your friend, but you have fought alongside him before. He proved himself to be a just and strong warrior; you know you can rely on him. You have one very important thing in common, you both care for your pack members, and their safety is always your priority."
"What about Ryan?"
"Ryan will step down, but if he wants to, he can stay here in his previous packhouse as long as he will accept you as his Alpha. I know you may never forgive him, but I also know you will never try to humiliate him, so it's a good deal for him. It's better than exile."
"He won't be happy about it" I state I know him long enough to be sure.
"I don't care if he's happy about it; we do not do negotiations here. I prepared the deal, and it is to take it or leave it. It will be their choice. But as I consulted with your Alphas' friends and Dalton, this will also require the disbanding of the Blackwood pack and creating the perfect new one."
"So my family bloodline will stop existing," I say.
She looks at me sadly as she nods.
"Yes, Blackwood Pack will end, but you will start a new one for our children and us. Black Moon, I think it's a good name for a new pack; it will preserve something from the old ones."
My heart skip a beat as I let sink into me what she has just said.
"Does it mean you're staying, you are willing to stay here with me, you are willing to let me mark you, you are willing to accept to be my Luna?" I'm sure I have tears in my eyes, but I don't care.
She smiles at me; that's the brightest smile I have ever seen on her face, she leans, and her lips touch mine. My tongue enters her mouth, and I let myself taste her; passion and desire run through me.
"I will, Mikkeli; I will stay here with you. I want to love you for as long as you let me."
I can't wait any longer. I stand up, place her on my desk, and start hovering over her. We remove our clothes, as our lips are eagerly tangled with each other. My hands are moving on her skin, I caress her breast, her stomach, and her thighs. I can feel her tongue licking the scar on my neck, which now I know is her mark on me, which gives me extreme pleasure. I almost rip her underwear away from her as I unzip my trousers. No long foreplay this time, I need to be inside her right now, and I know she wants the same. She moans as I start to thrust into her with strong and quick movements. Her hands are cupping my face; she makes me look exactly into her eyes as I keep thrusting into her. My arms are wrapped around her; I feel her body pressed to mine as I increase my pace.
"I love you," I whisper. "Fuck, I love you so much. You are mine, ah, mine, MINE."
She holds me tighter and starts sucking my mark again; I scream her name in ecstasy, pounding into her, feeling her, loving her. Goddess, I've never loved anyone that much, and I never will. I can feel my orgasm building up as I move my hips faster; my hands are everywhere on her.
"Fuck Mikkeli, faster! Yes, God, you're the best!" she screams.
I take her on my desk and later pressed to the wall and next on my couch; when finally we get dressed sometime later, she kisses my lips.
"You know that I love you too," she says.
A gentle smile is on my face as I hear her words, and it doesn't go away for the rest of the day as I'm again engaged in my routine. Sitting with Hayden and the twins, talking with Kyle, playing with Rosie, and going again with Hannah through the agreement she prepared to create a Black Moon pack.
I like that name; I think as I run through the forest in the evening and later when I lie next to Hannah after another hour of amazing sex. Black Moon means a new beginning for me, the beginning without my father's shadow on it. Did I really need one stubborn woman to come into my life to finally realize that his acceptance was something insignificant in my life?
I've always thought that my father at least taught me how to be strong and brave, and now I finally see that he didn't even do that! He was always on top; he didn't have to struggle to live every day. Strength and bravery were what many of his pack wolves had to have to survive under his rule.
I've learned strength from my stepmother, from Tony and his father, from my birth mother, and other pack's omegas. Every day I was watching them fighting to get to another day, never to give up no matter how miserable they may be. Every day they struggle and never accepted that they don't deserve better.
When Jake mindlinks me asking to come to my office immediately, I feel irked. It's almost two in the morning. What does he want? I hope there are no more troubles. Since Connie's death and Becca's imprisonment, it has been so calm. Also, no rogues were spotted anywhere near, and hunters are no longer a problem, at least for some time.
I quickly leave my bed, looking for a moment at the sleeping Hannah. As I come closer to my study, Byron is becoming warier and warier, just like me.
Jake is sitting in my chair with his back facing the door, and a faint scent of blood is coming from him. Byron growls in my subconsciousness dangerously.
"You know, ever since you were a little boy, I've known that you would be strong," says Jake, but he doesn't turn around to face me.
I step closer but slowly, ready to fight.
"I respect your strength Mikkeli, but it doesn't make me hate you any less" he slowly stands up. "The syringe and a collar are on the floor in front of you. You understand what I want you to do".
My blood runs cold as I realize he's holding little Rosie in his arms.