After a long stressful day of work, the only thing on most people's minds is wanting to take a nice hot relaxing shower. Washing away all the filth of the day and heading to bed all sparkling and clean. It's this exact mindset that Razor has as he's walking towards the lobby, ready to grab a new bar of soap so he can take a shower.
Unfortunately for him though, he isn't the only person who shares the same thought since when he enters the lobby he sees several people huddled all around in a circle. The group consists of Dmitri, Katina, Anastasia, Bastard, Destiny, Xavier, & X-Calli with Razor soon to join them.
Now a part of the circle, Razor looks to see what they've all been staring at is a single unopened packet containing a bar of soap. The only soap left.
"Lemme guess, we all want to take a shower?" Razor asks.
Everyone nods and Razor sighs while groaning, "Here we go."
It's a battle for the soap and it's quite the free-for-all ladies and gentlemen, who will win? Who will lose? Let's find out as the battle…
BEGINS!
"Obviously I should get the soap," Bastard declares, "My daily skincare routine requires it."
"But why?" Destiny groans, "You're the whole reason we have bars of soap instead of body wash."
"DON'T REMIND ME!" Bastard yells before calming down and saying, "And hey, I'll just take this as a birthday gift."
"Wait, it's your birthday?" Katina asks, startled.
"Yes, it's June 9th," Bastard insists, "You guys didn't forget, right?"
Everyone else is silent.
"There's no fuckin way," Bastard moans as he walks away, "Y'know what, I don't even want the stupid thing anymore! You guys have it!"
As he preaches to the choir, Xavier speaks up by saying, "Destiny, you & X-Calli are the lowest ranked still in this fight. As your superior I command you to bow out."
"Oh, so we're playing the rank card now?" Destiny chuckles, offended, "I'm a soldier, you're a lieutenant, that's only one rank above mine! And if this was all about rank, those monster killer folks would be the only ones in this fight."
"She brings up a fair point, plus soap would be bad for your USB ports, and we don't want anything bad happening to those," Dmitri adds while chewing some pelmeni.
Xavier looks at the USB ports on his knuckles, the result of the blast he has, and says dejected, "Why is it always about these knuckles?!"
Knowing that he can't win the argument, Xavier sighs and walks off.
Turning his attention to X-Calli, Dmitri looks at him confused and asks, "Why does a sword need a shower?"
"Just because I am a sword, Mister Morozov, does not mean I want to be dirty. Hygiene is important to me," X-Calli explains.
"How do you even wash yourself?" Dmitri murmurs before saying, "Y'know what I don't want to know."
"Well I can always shower another day," X-Calli says as he hops away.
Dmitri also joins X-Calli in leaving the competition by stating, "I can always just use shampoo for everything."
Now it's just down to Katina, Destiny, Anastasia, & Razor. As Katina, Destiny, & Anastasia all glare at each other, Razor stands there awkwardly.
"Y'know," Razor begins to say, "I was really looking forward to a showe-"
"No," The 3 women state, cutting him off.
"Okay," the deflated Razor says.
He then walks over to the couch in the lobby where Dmitri, Bastard, Xavier, & X-Calli are all residing. Dmitri has finished his pelmeni and is now eating some popcorn as the group spectates the argument.
"I swear," Bastard begins, "Whenever this happens it always goes down to those three."
The final three start their battle with Destiny asking, "Why do you need the soap?"
"Because I need to shower," Anastasia states.
"Same here," Katina adds.
"Okay but do you really need to shower?" Destiny questions.
"Do you really need to shower?" Anastasia replies.
"Fair point," Destiny concedes.
"Okay, how about this, rock-paper-scissors, best outta three, whoever wins gets the soap," Katina suggests.
The other two nod in agreement as the three get ready to play rock-paper-scissors.
They all anticipate their moves and choose the hand each of them believes would lead to victory.
However, when they reveal what they chose, they all realize they all went for rock.
They play it again and again as several minutes go by, with every attempt just ending with them all having the same hand. After nearly half an hour, the three have gotten frustrated.
"Okay, final round, and if this doesn't work we just walk away," Anastasia states her ultimatum.
The other two nod in agreement, they get ready for the final round but just as they're about to reveal their hand, Violet yells, "What are you nincompoops doing?!"
Everyone looks to see that Violet, Frank Walker, & Commodore have entered the lobby.
"Trying to decide who gets the last bar of soap," Destiny explains.
"Last bar of soap?" Frank Walker questions as he says, "What are you talking about? I just restocked the soap in the supply closet yesterday,"
Everyone else goes silent as Frank Walker asks concerned, "You did check the supply closet…right?"
Destiny, Katina, Anastasia, X-Calli, Dmitri, Bastard, Xavier, & Razor do the walk of shame to the supply closet that's down a hallway.
"Colonel Walker," Major Violet Tucker asks, "if I remember correctly, the soap does not go in the supply closet but instead under the counter in the lobby."
"Yeah, you're right," Frank Walker says, "I just lied so I could have the soap. Commodore hasn't gotten a bath in a while and it shows."
Violet looks shocked at this revelation as Frank Walker walks over to the soap and picks it up. He looks over at his dog, Commodore.
"Come on Commodore, let's get you washed up," Frank Walker states.
"Woof!" Commodore the dog adds.
Commodore & Frank Walker walk to the door leading to the showering area, Frank Walker opens it, and the two enter. Violet is still standing there, her mouth open due to how shocked she is at the revelation.
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WINNER IS…FRANK WALKER & COMMODORE THE DOG!!
See You Next Chapter!~