"And there's a picture, Weasley!" said Malfoy, flipping the paper over and holding it up. "A picture of your parents outside their house— if you can call it a house! Your mother could do with losing a bit of weight, couldn't she?"
"Draco!" Oleandra said sharply. She had made fun of the Weasley's towering pillar of houses many times, but insulting his mother, that was a low blow! Narcissa Malfoy wasn't much to look at either; she looked rather malnourished… And now, Oleandra was stuck with the mental image of Narcissa and Molly doing the fusion dance to combine into one person of healthy weight!
Since Oleandra and Daphne had been grounded over the summer, they'd been mostly confined inside their summer home. To stave off the boredom, they'd watched a lot of Muggle television, once they'd finished their homework. After experimenting with a few spells, Daphne had managed to empower their satellite dish to receive French television. And it just happened that in 1994, Dragon Ball Z's Majin Buu saga was airing in France, way before it would ever air in the UK…
(Although the fusion dance would only appear a few months later in December of that year, please keep in mind that the PlayStation comes out a year early in Harry's world, so the time frame is a little flexible!)
Before Oleandra knew it, both sides were slinging insults at each other's mothers.
"Don't you dare insult my mother, Potter," hissed Draco in response to Harry's comment about his mother's nose.
"Keep your fat mouth shut, then," said Harry, before turning his back on his opponent. Not a great plan.
"Tarantallegra!" growled Draco under his breath as he drew his wand and aimed it at Harry.
"Draco, no!" shouted Oleandra, taking hold of Draco's wrist and wrenching it towards the ground, causing the jet of silver light to plunge into the ground.
And at the same time, Moody's voice rang out behind her:
"OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!"
Oleandra instinctually performed a pirouette upon hearing Moody's menacing voice, potentially dodging out of the way of any incoming attacks while simultaneously turning to face the teacher.
"Good instincts," said Moody appreciatively. "Never let down your guard, not even for an instant!" He then turned to Harry and growled, "Did he get you?"
"Draco, are you okay?" Oleandra murmured, all the while keeping her eyes on Moody. He might not appear to be looking at her, but with his magical eye, he could see in a radius of three hundred and sixty degrees around him!
"Draco?" Oleandra asked again; the boy was being uncharacteristically quiet.
Suddenly, she felt something scrabbling and scratching her under her robes; something small and furry.
"Sis, there's something crawling inside your robes!" shouted Daphne, noticing a bulge under Oleandra's clothes, travelling to-and-fro across her body.
"Get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off-get-it-off!" Oleandra shrieked as she patted herself down in a panic.
"Here, allow me," said Moody, and without waiting for her to acknowledge his offer, he pointed his wand at Oleandra, who immediately assumed the stance of the Armour of Elhaz. Whatever spell he had silently cast, it didn't appear to have bypassed her defences, causing him to raise an eyebrow above his prosthetic eye.
"Eek!" Oleandra cried, as she felt the furry little creature exit through her sleeve. Once it had fallen to the ground, it ran over to Crabbe and Goyle, who were running around like headless chicken, trying to find their missing master. Wait…
"…Draco?" Oleandra asked, her face heating up and turning an interesting shade of red as she connected the dots. She hadn't been cursed; that had just been her persecution complex regarding Moody. Rather, Draco had been the target of Moody's ferret Transfiguration spell. And for some reason, the little git had decided to take refuge inside her clothes? Oh, he was so dead!
"LEAVE IT!" Moody shouted, as Crabbe was attempting to take the little white ferret that had emerged from Oleandra's sleeve into his arms.
Draco the ferret squeaked in terror, and streaked (quite literally, ferrets don't wear clothes) towards the dungeons. But unfortunately for him, he wasn't about to get off so easily!
"I don't think so!" Moody shouted, once again using a non-verbal spell, but this time using one to bounce Draco up into the air and slam him down on the ground repeatedly. "I don't like people who attack when their opponent's back's turned, stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do..."
"Never— do— that— again—" said Moody, punctuating each of his words by making Draco fly up into the air.
"Send him higher!" cheered Oleandra, who was still a little red in the face.
"Greengrass, was it?" said Moody, as he kept playing around with poor Draco. "I've got my eye on you."
Maybe Dumbledore had told him everything about the Black and Lupin affair, and she didn't have to hide that she'd helped free them? But before she could find a way to ask him without arousing suspicion, the teacher Oleandra disliked the most arrived on the scene, carrying a small pile of books.
"Professor Moody!" said Professor McGonagall in a shocked voice, as she watched the white ferret bounce.
"Hello, Professor McGonagall," said Moody calmly, as he kept sending Draco ever skywards.
"Professor McGonagall," said Daphne, "Am I correct in saying that Transfiguration is not allowed to be used as punishment in Hogwarts?"
"That's correct, Miss Greengrass," said Professor McGonagall, frowning as she put two and two together. "Moody, is that— is that a student?" she shrieked.
"It's a ferret," said Moody unconcernedly. "That also happens to be a student. So yep."
"No!" cried Professor McGonagall, dropping her books and rushing to Draco's rescue.
With a wave of her wand, the ferret animorphed back into human form and gently floated down. Upon landing, Draco slumped to the ground, mumbling something about his father unintelligibly.
And with that, everyone had learned a valuable lesson:
Draco learned about the age-old proverb of the mantis stalking the cicada, unaware of the oriole behind; Moody learned that it's not okay to Transfigure students as punishment; and Oleandra learned to stay as far away as possible from Moody.
Unfortunately, that would prove to be difficult, as she had her first class of Defence Against the Dark Arts next Thursday.