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Honda Celebration of Light, whether in Japanese or English translation, means the same thing, which is the "Celebration of Light." It may sound like a term used by a middle-schooler in a Japanese video game, with various blessings and expectations. Even though it's an official holiday to celebrate, it can't help but have a somewhat childlike feel to it. However, people in the East proudly introduce it to out-of-town visitors, free from embarrassment. As the saying goes, as long as we're not embarrassed, then others are. So, when Nick heard the store manager excitedly telling him about the event, he almost considered using his foot to excavate a four-bedroom house with four rooms and a living room to alleviate the current housing crisis. On the other hand, Liz, who had heard it once and had less experience with such events, was able to show genuine interest without feeling embarrassed. Or perhaps, something that Nick himself wasn't aware of—Liz was taking this opportunity to enjoy his slightly awkward demeanor as he tried to express something he couldn't articulate. To her, it seemed somewhat amusing.
The celebration started during the day, with the main event taking place after 10 p.m. Firing fireworks in broad daylight, while not prohibited, lacked the necessary impact, much like soup without salt, Mapo tofu without Sichuan pepper, or spaghetti without Parmesan cheese. So, during the daytime, the two of them hardly ventured outside. One stared blankly at the ceiling in their room, while the other stared at business cards faded by sweat, with Nick's copy of "Do Not Choose" laid open next to her, stopping completely on page 22.
In summary, Nick only expressed mild surprise after hearing what she had to say but didn't say much more. He didn't inquire about the situation, didn't mention Murkywater explicitly, and didn't engage in a thorough conversation about possible outcomes. He was calm and relaxed, his demeanor and attitude seemingly impartial and uninvolved, observing the situation with a detached perspective as if he were deliberately keeping his emotions in check. In the end, Liz was the one left disappointed, stirring her food halfheartedly, pondering without focus.
However, if Liz were asked to affirm that Nick hadn't changed his feelings for her, it would be quite challenging for her. She was a sensitive person who didn't excel at lying to others or herself. Her expressionless demeanor wasn't a lack of observation but a contemplation. She could sense that Nick had treated her better than usual since that day, with higher-quality meals, and even taking her shopping. He'd even noticeably reduced her workload at the food stall. Although Liz hadn't done anything different and her contributions to him hadn't increased, he seemed unbothered by caring for this potential burden. So, was he aware of something? Did he have a premonition about the future, which drove him to preserve his kindness? Or was he hiding something that he couldn't speak about and merely being considerate in light of this concealed truth? Liz wondered, feeling both happy and sad. If he truly didn't care about her or was oblivious to her concerns, she would feel foolish for worrying about her choices. But if he was aware of everything and still acted this way, did it mean that even without Liz in his life in the future, he would not feel shaken or lonely? Whichever way she looked at it, Liz's limited inner world was stirred up, causing a turmoil only she could comprehend. It made her feel both sad and joyful, wistful and lonely.
Nick turned over, and his lumbar vertebrae and shoulder blades made a crackling sound, like firecrackers with very low decibels. Today, he didn't even bother to read erotic novels, and he handed Liz the book "Do Not Choose," which he had been reading but never managed to finish. He didn't mention whether he was giving it to her or just lending it, nor did he specify when she should return it. It was as if he didn't care about such matters, as if he had momentarily detached from the eclipse and spent about six months and four days in this place, briefly sprouting here but never taking root in the city. Nick didn't seem to be the kind of person who would hold any attachment to any place. If there were to be a place he could call home, it would have been made up of history and time, dissipated into dust long ago, swept into the corners of time, while he remained oblivious, having been cut off from this world. In truth, he could have survived anywhere, settled anywhere. His soul and body were intertwined, seemingly impossible to separate, and there was a locked door that remained unopened.
If one were to look at him more closely, he did change slightly because of Liz. He had learned to take care of someone, suppress his desire to chat endlessly about trivial matters, and learned to deal with a half-grown, half-immature young lady. After gradually getting used to all this, he, who had always been silent, but in fact a good guy, a "Mr. Nick" who didn't speak up, had started to wake up to a sense of responsibility.
But in the end, he is still the man, the man who always heat foods in his mouth at 4:00 a.m., and the man who will lead the eclipse, rage against bloodshed.
Liz, on the other hand, had her own path to follow. She was destined to realize her dreams, leave the quiet suburban life in the East, go south, go north, go to the university she had never seen but had finally visited, and go to Murkywater, the highly regarded security company that could help her get closer to her own expectations. She might remember the time when she was at her lowest and a man who sold egg tarts gave her a job to make a living, helping her here and there but never really demanding anything in return. She would continue living her own life, upright, proud, and fearless in her correct and inarguable life, regardless of the changes in her dreams due to someone's appearance.
So, perhaps the final act of the drama should unfold here. The stage should become desolate afterward, the audience should disperse without any surprises, and the story should conclude. In this last moment, there seemed to be no need for choices, except to continue. After all, a half-finished period is unacceptable. Whether it's out of curiosity, a sense of duty to provide an answer, or just the feeling of having to go on, whatever the reason, Vayvan and the man should move forward toward their respective futures. And before that, they must continue until the end.
As a fitting start to the next act, later in the evening, around 9:30 PM, they emerged from the bachelor apartment.
Liz was dressed beautifully in a navy blue dress with daisy patterns on the hem and the edges of the dress. She wore open-toed sandals with a slight heel. Nick hadn't bought himself any new clothes, and he had just scrubbed the grayish-white short-sleeved shirt he had previously lent to Liz a few times. After drying it, he put it on with camel-colored shorts. It looked somewhat casual, but he seemed relaxed and content.
Indeed, they did look like they should be together. As they walked together, Liz gazed at his short sleeves in silence. At times, she felt a strange, untouchable force that seemed to pull them apart, even though they walked side by side. Other times, she felt that in this moment, the distance was not between them and his short sleeves, but between her and him, as if she should be held in his arms. She should be close to him, occasionally kissing his neck, occasionally brushing against his ear. It was a cute kind of jealousy that might make someone involuntarily giggle or a reason to create some subtle and playful mischief when there was no apparent reason to be jealous. Liz seemed to have changed because of this silent guy.
They saw groups of band musicians holding guitars, playing drums, and pressing keyboards as they passed by, occasionally stopping to listen to them sing outside the crowd, sometimes listening to folk songs that seemed warm but were hard to understand, or rock music with fierce lyrics that made people scream with excitement. It made others think of hippies, the cultural area formerly known as Brooklyn, and classical or jazz music. In the distance, the scent of barbecue and melting cheese wafted, and nearby, there was free beer and fries available. There was the smell of smoke, the scent of sweat, the scent of perfume, and the faint tang of freshly squeezed fruit juice. It was only when Liz and Nick both spontaneously wanted to go somewhere else that the cacophonous noise faded away, carried off by the fleeting wind.
Unable to help themselves, the two of them laughed in unison, and then they took deep breaths of the night air, illuminated by the stars and the moon. After breathing as if their lungs had been cleansed, they almost simultaneously stopped. They gazed at each other, one pouting and the other averting their gaze. Finally, one of them broke the impression with a chuckle. Nick held a coconut water he had bought and leaned against a lamppost, laughing softly. Liz reached out to his side and wiped her sauce-sticky hands on his chest and neck before asking for a tissue. Nick wasn't angry, and he wiped her face clean. Unexpectedly, Liz responded to this treatment as if she had pressed a pause button, her heart racing, her body feeling soft, moving in a way that seemed to defy the norm, much like a rabbit eyeing food and becoming rigid in its indecision.
Nick then asked her, "Don't you think it's a bit too close?"
She acted annoyed and took another step closer, saying that it was too far away, still too far, and that there was much more distance to close.
For a moment, Nick was startled by her words and actions, but he soon balled up the used tissue, threw it aside, and took a step closer, right to the point where they could hear each other's breathing and heartbeats. Then, he told Liz in a challenging tone, "The second step is half price."
Liz reluctantly lifted her arm, letting her right hand rest on his chest, her voice dropping to half the volume of a summer cicada's chirping.
Only Nick heard her words. She expressed that they were close enough now and getting any closer would become strange, making them unlike themselves. At the same time, Nick and Liz were both puzzled by this statement. They had already changed due to each other's influence, so what did it mean to maintain their original selves? The phrase "unlike ourselves" was nothing but a deceptive falsehood.
Nick no longer gazed at her with the same eyes as before. It wasn't the look one gives to street plants with slightly better growth, cats wagging their tails at leftover food at the end of an alley, it was different. He saw the girl in front of him as someone who, if he got closer, would easily make his heart race, like a fawn leaping and bounding. Liz felt the same way. She had transformed from gratitude into a well-known "dependency," but neither of them could tell when it happened. They had become like a theoretical cycle of mutual respiration.
"You can hold me even tighter." He replied.
Then, there was a secret and joyful little smile at the corner of the girl's lips.
At ten sixteen, the official fireworks display had already begun. Amid the marvel of flames and sparks shooting into the air, amid the curiosity of those on the ground, not far away, observing but not participating, in the brilliance of a night still deep in its darkness, Liz held Nick's hand as they walked forward, and Nick held Liz's hand as they walked forward. It was unclear who was leading whom. In fact, both of them were seeing such a spectacle in the East for the first time, but strangely, they both wanted to take each other to what they considered the most appropriate places to pause. Pretending to be familiar, pretending to understand reality better than anyone else, pretending to be at ease, pretending to be more natural than the other.
The path they took together was winding and crooked, to the extent that in the end, no one knew where they had ended up. Fortunately, even though they had taken a haphazard route, a destination without a purpose, the fireworks' light seemed to spare this place. Piece by piece, it always accurately illuminated this spot. They felt tired here, the things they had bought in a hurry had started to slip from their hands, so Liz suggested taking a rest here until they both felt ready to continue. Nick nodded in agreement and went to pick up a newspaper from an empty vendor's stall, and they sat side by side with their heads close together.
Unlike the distant view of the fireworks, this place had a quiet of its own. Perhaps no one had ever reached this spot during the celebration, or maybe it was just today, making it particularly quiet for them. So just not to waste this rare beauty, Nick lit the small fireworks he had been holding, one by one, with a sizzling sound, and this place livened up with the flashes of fireworks. But he only lit half of them and then, just like a silenced gun, he saved the other half. However, he didn't toss the remaining half into a bucket. Instead, he seemed to be indifferent to the onlookers, focused on what he was doing.
He explained, 'If you leave half, it proves that there will be days in the future when we can watch fireworks like this, connecting the past and the future. Just as I hope and believe - we'll always have these half-burnt fireworks in our hands.'
Liz, at this moment, took a deep breath, her tongue twitched in her mouth several times. She didn't know if this was relevant, but she wanted to talk to Nick, to tell him many things. Was he completely unaware of the better places to view the scenery? Did he want to leave her behind and sneak away? Was he hiding something from her, which was why he was always so good to her? But her muddled thoughts couldn't help her sort things out, so in the end, she could only come up with something that sounded official but not very serious.
'I mean, what does it mean to focus on the future for you?' In fact, she didn't like it when Nick used the word 'future.' She had been feeling irritated since that time, and it had continued until today when Liz finally vented her frustrations in front of him.
Nick looked at her surprisingly, as if he hadn't sensed her underlying unhappiness. He said, 'Isn't a life that's firm and not influenced by others exciting enough?'
'Why?'
'Well, because I'm someone who always wants to change everything, a little devil who likes to impose my own ideas on others.'
He tilted his head, his eyes clear.
'I always force others to accept my thoughts, regardless of whether they are truly happy or not. I just feel that if I think it's right, then it's unquestionable. Later, when people hate me, I wander and hesitate here, as if I'm repenting and reflecting.'
'Is that so?'
She turned her face towards him.
Yes, Nick said, that day was his fault, he was clearly not related to Liz but intentionally played with her emotions, asking about the future. Speaking without considering the other person's perspective was a form of arrogance and harm. If the Liz in front of him just wanted to lead an ordinary life, a peaceful but happy life, then it was a choice that couldn't be relinquished, a choice that couldn't be blamed. It should be called a completeness rather than a deficiency. He hated himself for always meddling with other people's futures, for interfering so readily. That's why he had remained silent and taken direct action against Liz.
'It's despicable, isn't it?' he said. 'Finding pleasure in controlling and manipulating the lives and personalities of others, and finally feeling one's own mistakes and escaping hastily, seeking forgiveness - just not wanting to be a person as despicable and wicked as me. After all, the person who destroys others' dreams is very pathetic, isn't it?'
'Pathetic... huh?'
This was a convenient term, Liz thought. It was like a cowardly phrase, like a schemer's phrase, like a liar's phrase.
She took a deep breath, then let it out, and finally, she said with determination: 'This time, I'm really angry, for the first time, in front of Nick. Those sharp, polished words made her feel as courageous as she had never felt before.
She grabbed Nick's collar tightly and pulled him towards her, not feeling shy or fearful about being much closer to him than before. She asked him, wondering if he understood. Why was he pretending to be ignorant in front of her now? She didn't care; she liked it when people cared about her, calmly and rationally accused and rebutted her. She liked being silently accompanied, even if she had to come up with all sorts of reasons to stay close to the battered and disheveled Liz that she had become. She liked him. In the end, I like you, she said, staring at him. I like you, even the cold tone of your voice helps me, I've liked you from the very beginning, I really like you, I like you very much.
Nick's eyes subtly widened, and then he let them fall with a smile. Even if I might go along with my own wishes and paint your picture without restraint, would that be okay?
With a tone that was neither salty nor mild, as if he was deliberately teasing, as if he had set a bottomless pit that said, 'Don't try to talk without understanding,' the man waited for the girl to jump into the trap with a complex and chaotic attitude.
However.
"On the contrary."
Liz looked at him directly, without deception, without lies, simply and honestly saying the words she had been holding back for a long time, but had to say now.
"The original me was just a foolish and impulsive fool who didn't understand anything and was confused. But I was able to see myself and face myself thanks to Nick's support and guidance. Because of you, I can continue my efforts without confusion."
She held his hand again, this time even tighter.
"Don't say things that make me sad," she said in a low voice, sounding like she was choking, as if struggling with some difficult emotion. "Don't say things that deny me... that deny my efforts."
"Even though because of Nick, you've become better and more exceptional..."
— So much so that, even dares to tell you these.
— So much so that, even when choosing to be alone, you're not afraid or lonely.
"So don't," the girl said, biting her lip. "Only Nick that I like, the one I like. Don't."
As a result, the pit was filled, and the trap in front of her completely failed.
"So that's how it is," the man thought with a bitter smile.
Everything is like a coin with two sides. If you only focus on one side and ignore the other, becoming blind and ignorant will also become an inevitable fate... right?
Just like now, being identified in such an unimaginable way by a certain fool, like a rotten plant suddenly dragged into the sunlight. But it was precisely because of this honesty and straightforwardness, that the guy named Nick was so surprised by the trust and wavering he had for her.
Thinking this far, he looked at Liz with a smile, and then, using a tone that sounded like a complaint, he said, "Who likes this kind of thing? Don't do this, don't do that. Aren't you afraid I'll hate you?"
"Feel free to hate me," she sobbed a few times, looking at him with determination. "Even if I'm hated, I won't give up, because I like you... Because I like you."
He wiped away the tears that she had unconsciously shed like dew, and finally, like raising a white flag to her determination, he said, "Then, feel free to like me too. As a substitute for this liking —"
"Let me fulfill your wish."
Fireworks exploded in the sky once again, and Liz couldn't quite hear what Nick, who was laughing, had said. Or maybe, it was because her memory from that time was only enough to remember that he suddenly brought his lips close, and afterward, only half of the fireworks had burned, a half-burnt fireworks firework.
"So, what exactly did Nick say to you, that you're so secretive about?"
"It's none of your business."
"But it's really interesting, past stories and all that." Franca slapped her thigh in frustration, cursing Liz for taking all her bonuses. "You stop right at the most critical part! That's just despicable!"
Liz mockingly smiled, "Do you think I'm the kind of fool who would easily expose my weaknesses to you?"
"How can love be a weakness?" Franca retorted. "For a young girl, it should be considered an all-powerful weapon!" She then playfully swung her sword a few times and continued, "Just like this!"
— Indeed.
No matter when, love and affection, impulsive or naive emotions should never be simply defined as obstacles that prevent thinking and delay judgment. Those who have something to protect, something to strive for — such people are always stronger than those with no attachments.
After the celebration, Liz asked Nick again about what he had said to her that day. Perhaps it was because the original content was somewhat embarrassing, not quite like the youthful words of the present him. These words couldn't be repeated, so Nick awkwardly mumbled, "You can just like me as you wish."
As their relationship deepened after their mutual confession, Liz made it clear to Nick: "I'm going to Murkywater, I'm going to college, I'm going to become better, and I'll be a completely different person from who I am now." Nick, contrary to his usual self, displayed a considerable degree of enthusiasm in supporting her and even provided her with Eclipse's internal training methods to help her pass the test. The results spoke for themselves, with Liz achieving straight A's. Murkywater gladly reserved a spot for her in college, and her departure for the South was just days away.
Neither Liz nor Nick felt sad about this. They enjoyed their time together to the fullest, going out for feasts and exploring all the nearby places they could. They decided to savor the present, knowing that they might not see each other again and that the future was uncertain. They chose to focus on the moment, to live in the present. Their joy was not only about avoiding regrets; it was also about believing that they would meet again, somewhere in the world, someday in the future. Liz could only call herself lucky and happy when she looked back on these days that were somewhat strange but never failed to bring a smile to her face.
"We'll meet again for sure," she told Nick before boarding the train to the South. But she quickly denied, laughing, "No, it should be me who'll come find you."
This time, she didn't end the kiss like she did at the celebration. Instead, she initiated a passionate kiss, serious, nervous, excited, mixed with shyness and innocence, carrying a newfound hope and an unwavering determination to meet again.
"But don't forget me, okay?"
After almost two years, Liz, who had graduated early due to her outstanding performance, returned to Eclipse to officially join as an employee. Her abilities and qualifications were impeccable. She might have experienced fear, anxiety, doubt, and thoughts of giving up along the way, but it seemed that there was an invisible force, an unseen radiance in her bright golden eyes. So, despite facing unforeseen setbacks and repeatedly experiencing hardships and dire situations that were unimaginable to most, the girl named Liz would never easily surrender.
"Because I promised that we'd meet again."
Liz closed her eyes and couldn't help but laugh.
"It's quite silly, swinging a sword in the car."
"Isn't that cute?" Franca ignored her and flourished her sword a few more times before sheathed it. "Why would Nick like a girl like you, with no feminine charm? That man really has no taste."
"Who knows?" Liz responded with a hint of pride in her smile. "All the answers, those forgotten and unclear, will be given new interpretations and completion when we meet again. As for you—"
Some things are better left unknown for a lifetime.
The girl got off the train, and walked up the steps that led to the entrance of the pharmaceutical company, step by step. Each footprint seemed to carry the imprints of the past. She walked with determination, turning the excitement and desire to jump around into a firmer and more stable stride. With each step, the long-brewing and mellowed longing transformed into new motivation that allowed her to open the door without fear and hesitation. Yes, in any case, Liz was always full of courage at this moment. Even if the Liz in front of him might still be the same as the one he met for the first time, inexperienced, full of innocence, and shining brightly with her interests — wasn't that enough?
— Liz at the age of twenty-one always appeared to be nineteen in Nick's eyes.
— Similarly, Nick at twenty-three looked the same.
She entered before he could realize it, and as their first words during their encounter, she greeted him with a clichéd phrase, but it was just right here:
"Long time no see."