I never thought I would need to worry about sleep as an adult. You begin to think about all the times you took advantage of sleeping in or going to sleep during your bedtime. I remember when it was time to go to bed, fighting every drop of sleep in me.
As a kid, I could not help but be energetic, thinking about how I would race to my room to lie down in bed. I was getting all warm under the blankets before my parents came in to tell me 'goodnight' and give me a kiss on the forehead. It is crazy to think how long ago it seems, but in reality, it was barely two years ago.
I still remember the smell of my dad's suit jacket and how he always smelled of his manly musk; that was so comforting. He would kiss my forehead twice and smile with his soft face before getting up and being replaced with my mom. She smelled sweet and would wear a perfume that always had strawberry as the strongest note resonating off of her. She would lay with me for a bit, and this would give us the opportunity to talk, and I never enjoyed it.
Dad would always smile and leave before Mom would get even more comfortable, almost squishing me completely. It wasn't that I didn't love being with my mom. I did. Just, sometimes, I wish she wouldn't treat me like a baby. She would pull me close to her warm chest and begin brushing her hands through my hair.
"So, how is school going?" She would always begin with this, and I never knew what she would expect me to say. Um, it's going well, I learn. It was always so weird, but this time was no different, and it should have been.
"Mom, it's always going to be the same. I just learn and see my friends." I sighed and tried to pull away from her grip a bit. I always wanted the opportunity to look her in the eye. To talk with her face to face instead of always feeling like a baby to her. She just held on to me, though, and kissed the top of my head.
"So, there are no boys yet, then?" She chuckled a little at this comment, and I had to roll my eyes.
"Mom, you know not everyone goes to school thinking about boys," I told her before breaking her grip and moving slightly away from her.
"I know, but I think that when it does come to boys, I just help you make the right decisions." She smiled and took my hand. "It always will sound weird because I'm supposed to be your mother, but trust me when I say I'm only looking out for you." She kissed the back of my hand and patted it twice.
"I know, I know," I said, taking my hand from her grip before turning away from her a bit. "Why can't we talk about other things?" I asked. She always takes control of the conversation, and I just wanted one chance.
"Fine, what is it that you want to talk about? Should we go shopping and talk more? What about getting our nails done and talking?" She turned her body towards me and began thinking aloud. "My schedule is a little busy this Thursday, but I can take an early weekend for you. We can play hookey on Friday and talk. What do you think?" Her eyes landed on me, and I knew she wouldn't get it. She didn't understand that I just wanted to talk to her sometimes and not be doing anything else. Why is it like making a doctor's appointment?
"What about right now? Can we just talk?" I looked away and tried lowering my voice a little, but I knew the answer before she could even say it. I started to let my brain begin to play the same thing I heard every night, and as she began speaking, I couldn't help myself.
"I know-" I can't help it.
"Actually, can you just leave? I think I'm just really tired tonight." I interrupted her, and I didn't know just how much the look on her face would haunt me. I didn't know what she was feeling. I didn't know what was going to happen. And I didn't know that I would regret seeing her get up with that fake smile I knew she only made for me. I watched her get up and kiss her hand. I felt that hand touch the top of my head, and I would look into her eyes, which looked at me concerned. I would say nothing as she walked away to the door of the room.
Why did I watch her open the door and walk out? Why did I not call her back and try to talk with her? Why didn't I give her a hug? Why didn't I ask her to stay?
-
I remember when I heard the first noise, and I thought Daddy was working late again. I remember hearing you talk, and I did not know what to think. When I first heard the sounds, I just lay there because I knew you didn't mean to wake me up. I should have waited for you to come and check on me like you always would.
It wasn't unusual for you and Daddy to talk late at night; I know it was part of his job to work when he needed to. I didn't think about how much you two definitely tried to make things normal for me. I knew you would pressure him to spend a couple of minutes with me every night so that I could feel your love. I knew you would spend all day cleaning and making sure everything ran smoothly at home while working on your career.
The only thing that I can remember about that day is how stressed I had been. At school, we had to choose our career path, and I could not pick a path. I knew what I wanted, but how would I have known if it was the right choice? I wanted to ask you how you choose what you want in life. How was I supposed to make such a big choice like that?
The teacher even looked at me like I was pitiful, and I knew you guys would look at me even worse. I could hear all my friends and peers share their dreams and careers with each other, and I couldn't even write down one choice. I should have taken that opportunity, but I let it go to waste. I let that night pass by, and I paid no attention to anything. I didn't wait for you to check in on me. I didn't get up and go to the bathroom randomly. I didn't even open my eyes.
-
The thought of seeing her face leave my room played over and over again in my brain. I could feel the pressure against my arms and the pain that would soon follow. I need to get out, I need to get help, I need to get up. The pain keeps growing intense, and I wince at the thought of what feels like a needle pressing into multiple places in my arms. I move, but it hurts the more I try to break away from the pain. Why won't this stop? Why can't it stop? I just want it to-.
"Stop!" I hear my scream come through my ears, and I open my eyes as I lurch forward unsuccessfully.
"I've got you. I've got you." I watch as my vision settles on a small face, and it's looking down at me with small eyes. "You were dreaming. I got you." His warm hands slide from the middle of my arms to my shoulders.
"Tae, what are you doing?" I could hear my own voice cutting in and out. I slide up from beneath his grasp to sit up and look at his face.
"Well, I heard you mumbling, and I got a little worried." His hands dropped from my shoulders as he moved from over me to the foot of the bed. "My mom brought me some Kimchi and my cake. I wanted to see if you wanted to come over, but then I heard you, so I had to check on you." I could see his look of concern, and I knew he would take it out of proportion.
"Oh, well, thanks." I sat up straighter, pushing my hair back as I tried to examine my environment as normal. I tried to avoid eye contact with him, and I'm sure he felt the same.
"What were you dreaming about anyways?" He asked, brushing off everything as he got up off the bed and began walking out of my room and into the living area. I could hear him sit on the bean bag that was there, and I took my chance to get out of bed.
"Nothing, just a little bug." I lied as I took the hair tie around my wrist and gave myself a little messy bun before walking out of the room myself. I walked past the living room area and went to the bathroom to begin getting ready. I looked at myself in the mirror before grabbing my toothbrush and applying the toothpaste to the bristles.
"Didn't sound like a bug." He muttered, and I peeked out of the bathroom to give him my sinister side eye, but he was not even paying attention to me.
"No one asked you what it sounded like. What is most important is why you are breaking into my apartment?" I applied my toothbrush to my teeth and began brushing as I waited for his answer. He looked back at me, and I got the opportunity to give him an annoyed look at how comfortable he had just made himself. His feet went up in the bean bag, and he began looking around for something before eventually giving up.
"You were the one who gave me the key." He chuckled before finally settling down and just groaning. "I just wanted to make sure you ate." He stood, and I could see him pass by the door and make his way into the kitchen.
"I gave you the key to let my mom in." I tried to push all the froth in my mouth so he could hear me articulate each word, but he looked at me confused. I quickly spat it out and placed my hand on my hip. "The key was for you to let my mom in, not you."
I was half annoyed, and he knew it, cutting his cheeky smile at me before pushing his hair back from his eyes. Honestly, I was comforted in the fact that he was there when I was waking up; it was nice to have someone calm me down for the time being. At the same time, he was getting annoying, always walking around me and pushing my tiny buttons. He had been this way for ten years, and I always thought he would grow out of it and mature. I thought back to when I first handed the key to him and how he was laughing and asking if this meant we could have sleepovers. I could not help but roll my eyes at the thought before washing my mouth out. As I finish trying to wash my face, all I can hear is his clattering of dishes.
"What are you doing?" I yelled at him as I dried my face and started walking towards the noise to see what he was doing.
"I am making you breakfast." He said, placing bowls on both of the mats and motioning for me to have a seat. "You don't have rice; lucky my mom made some fresh this morning!" He smiled before reaching into the bag he had brought in and was lying on my back counter.
"What did your mom pack this time?" I tried to peek, but he scolded me and took the whole bag.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" He stumbled past me before placing it on the floor and pulling things out like a magic show. He pulled out Kimchi, fish, seaweed soup, rice, and finally, bean sprouts. "Like what you see?" He asked as he began to open everything one by one.
"More like, what's the special occasion?" I said, catching the smell of the fish and soup. I took a deep smell, and he laughed at me.
"Special occasion? No special occasion; I actually just wanted some fish. She heard my voice on the phone, and she got all concerned. You know her, always concerned. She just told me that she was bringing me lunch and breakfast." He had taken everything out now and sat down at the table before he placed rice in my bowl.
"Thank you, eomma!" I said cheerfully before tussling his hair. "I'll make sure you get better." I took my utensils and began eating the fish right away. When the touch of the fish landed on my tongue, I could not help but gasp and savor the taste. "Mmmm," I closed my eyes and had to breathe the flavor into my body. His mom's homecooked meals were always comforting and delicious. She had always known how to cook anything; I guess that's why she did have her own little restaurant.
"That good?" He laughed and put the whole fish on my plate, revealing a smaller one underneath. "Here, eat more!" He smiled, and I had planned to. There will never be a time that I won't turn down a meal. I put my utensils down, picking up a spoon to taste some of the soup. It was just as delicious as the fish, and I loved how creamy it was. I couldn't help but squeal with delight.
"So good! Wow! How has she been?" I took another spoonful of the soup, and it was time for me just to eat. I got my utensils ready and began to eat the soup and fish, placing some kimchi on top of it before shoving it in my mouth.
"Much better than your relationship with bean sprouts." He laughed before putting some on top of my next spoonful of food. Ew. I looked up at him, and he just laughed more. "Just eat. She is doing well. You know, she has this casting party or something that is going on. She says that business has been well, but she's been busy." He said, and his head hung low as I could see he was starting to think about his mom.
"Hey, then why don't we help her?" I ask, chewing my food and letting the taste resonate over my tongue. "When is the casting party?"
"Tomorrow, I think? She has so many things, but I'm sure that was tomorrow." He placed his hand on his lip, thinking harder.
"Text me later the details, but now you eat so you can feel better. I can hear your voice cracking, too." I laughed and put some bean sprouts on his plate before pushing the soup close to him. "Don't forget to eat the soup; you need your strength for tomorrow." I smiled and watched him start eating before I continued.
I peeked up and watched him eat slowly, and all I could see was his small eyes dart from one food to another. He was always excited about food, and I could see that 11-year-old kid all over again, rushing to pour more and more food into his mouth. Only now, he was a 21-year-old kid who still swooned more over food, especially sweets. I smiled softly and began to finish my final bites before standing up. I carried my bowl to the sink and grabbed a couple of glasses of water, placing one in front of him as I began to drink the water.
-
I finally grabbed my bag, checking for my notebooks and pens before I let the door shut behind me. It felt like I had already experienced an entire day, but it was barely 8 a.m., and I still had to go to class. I fixed my skirt a final time before heading down the stairs and beginning my long trek. After having Tae over for the morning, it was nice to be able to think freely for myself finally. I opened my bag, lifting the top flap, and pulling my earphones out before placing them in each ear. Taking out my phone, I scroll through my list of books to read and begin playing the one that catches my eye the most.
"The Alaska Interior- April 27th, 1992. Greetings from Fairbanks!" The book Into The Wild began playing, and I couldn't help but stay attentive to every word being read. I listened and walked through the streets, thinking of myself walking to my dreams. One step closer, that's right, you are close, I thought to myself. I think to myself, I should be taking the chance to jump into my dreams. This trek has already been tedious, but I will get to my Alaskan dream before I know it, I'm sure!
"Hey!" I felt something slimy against my leg, and I looked down to see a brown poodle licking my leg. I couldn't help but flinch and look around to see the person attached to the leash and saw this tall guy laughing. I take the earphone from my right ear and take a step back to look at him. "Hey, don't you have better control over your dog?"
"Monggu always gives kisses in the morning." He said, his voice low and subtle. He called the dog over to him and began patting it. "Sorry."
"Yeah, maybe you should be." I huffed and walked past them, placing my earbud back in my ear. I just wanted to get the opportunity to be unbothered today; why can't I enjoy that? I continued my walk, passing by a coffee shop and seeing him and his dog just standing there. Doesn't he know how rude it is not to ask or even warn someone? I gave one more huff before he soon was out of my sight.
I just wanted today to be peaceful. I tried to collect my thoughts and listen to my book again.
"-They'll pick up a copy of Alaska magazine, thumb through it, get to thinking, 'Hey. I'm going to get on up there, live off the land, go claim me a piece of the good life." That sentence alone spoke volumes to me, someone who constantly looks at people in magazines, shows, music videos, and every other app on my phone. I often find myself getting carried away with the thoughts of wanting to be where they are. Watching as they go on extravagant trips, followed by fashion that they can afford to have and friends that they have made from that fame. Although being followed around would be tiresome, living peacefully sounds like a dream. That is the good life for me, living for myself and sharing that life with those who mean a lot to me. Although that list is short compared to others, maybe I can dream, can't I?
As I close in on the university building, I begin to amp myself up. Studying has never been my strong suit, but I very well will continue to try. That is all I can ever do. As a little kid, my parents always told me that the one thing no one can take from me is my knowledge. That I needed it more than most things in this life. As a boy, my father watched his parents give away every dime they ever had because neither of them knew how to read, count, or how things work in the real world. As he grew up, he watched loan sharks come and take every week from his parents, even when all that was left was for him. He did everything he could to help, but with no prevail, he would always be a young child who did not know enough to help.
The moment that my father was old enough to help, the loan sharks had already taken everything there was to take from his parents. They were left with no home, no money, and no respect for their name, and he vowed he would never let it happen again. He made sure that there was no way for that to happen by studying as hard as he could. He got acquainted and enjoyed studying law; that's why he was able to make such a good life for me. He knew from the beginning what he wanted to do, and I loved my dad for that. I only hoped to have his drive towards a future, but for now, it will be towards studying until I can find that passion.
Walking around on campus is always messy, consisting of friend groups that have always been together, couples littering the lawn, and everyone else who is just trying to get from point A to point B. I was the latter, just trying to get to my Humanities seminar before I could not find any seats. I had a full day ahead of me, and luckily, I never had a class on Friday. I was going to need every bit of rest I could get after today. As I made my way to the main building, I walked towards the vending machine, hoping to get a snack and drink for later. I noticed a small girl kicking at the window, begging for her items.
"Come on. I've been here for 10 minutes now." She breathed, and I could hear the despair in her voice as she crumbled in front of the machine.
"What's the matter?" I asked, and her face gleamed with hope as she looked back at me and almost broke my heart with her eyes.
"All I wanted was my coffee. I've bought two, and it refuses to let me live in peace. Stupid machine." She stretched her leg out to kick at it, and I moved slightly closer. Today, I was just running into all types of weird people, and Tae, when would it get better?
"Want help shaking it?" I asked simply, placing my earbuds into the container and storing them in my bag.
"Yes, please." She stood up quickly, straightening out her pants and then moving to just one side of the machine. "Now we will show it who is boss." She said, and I could hear what sounded like pure hatred in her voice for the machine. We both took ahold of the machine, me reaching almost the top with my arms, and I looked at the girl standing opposite of me. She tried with her might, but her arms could only reach the top of the middle. She was cute, her eyes fixed on the problem at hand and determined to get her coffee.
"Ready, shake," I told her that I wouldn't even need to try hard. She began to shake the whole machine as if her life depended on it. Little people sure had a lot of pent-up energy in them, or at least she did. The next thing I knew was the sound of two thuds, one after another, threw her to the front of the machine on her knees. She was reaching inside the machine, already pulled out two coffees, and smiled with the biggest grin of success.
"Here." She said with a grin and handed one of the cold coffee drinks to me. "I really only need one. I bought the second one since the first did not drop. Take it as a 'Thank you"." She said sweetly, patting my hand once more before going off towards the other end of the building. At least this time, I got a coffee out of it, but who was that girl? I looked down at the coffee, and it was actually my favorite since it was sweet. Whoever she was, I knew I at least owed her a decent thank you.
I looked back to the area she went to, making a mental note of what she looked like and the coffee that she had bought before I went on working on the vending machine. I looked back in and searched for what I thought would make a good snack, especially since I already had a big breakfast. A banana continued to catch my eye until my stomach decided that, at that moment, I wanted a banana. I swiped my card and began to input the number, waiting patiently as my little banana slipped down. I reached down and grabbed it, standing up straight and starting my journey down the hall.
I held the coffee and banana in the same hand, pulling out my phone with the other. As I walked down the hall, I skimmed through the apps that were already open, thinking about what topic would be discussed as I walked through the door. The lecture room was empty, for the most part. Most students would not even try to come in until closer to time. I used to laugh at how often I would beat the professor to class, but now I enjoy it. Any time that I can spend with myself and enjoy my own company is always something I look forward to. I swiped most of my apps closed, leaving only the recording app. I usually recorded all my lectures and seminars so that I could replay them and study a little better.
I checked the time: 5 minutes until class began, and I happily took my seat in the second row closest to the window. I wanted to be close so my recorded notes were clear but away from the front enough so I never gained attention. I laid down my phone, pressing record before I opened my bag for my materials. I placed the coffee and banana in front of my bag to make sure nothing would get squished. I pulled out the blue notebook that I used for this particular class and my favorite purple pen. For every class, I had a designated notebook and pen that I would use. This just helped me make sure my mind was as prepared as my physical being was. I placed the pen and notebook beside one another, making sure to open to the next blank page. I was ready, and when I heard the door open, I couldn't help but look out the window. I saw a few birds in the tree, jumping on each limb before taking off.
"Is this seat taken?" Everyone had already begun slowly coming into the room and taking seats. I hadn't noticed, but the third row and first were already full. I looked up at the stranger who was motioning at the chair next to me. His eyes were big and brown, his face looked like it was in a natural pout, and his lips stretched to form a smile when we locked eyes.
"Uh, no," I said, moving my things further down from his personal bubble and fixing my body to adjust away from him. I saw him smile wider from the corner of my eye, placing his things on the table before putting his bag beside his feet. I returned to looking out the window, but I could feel the hole being burned into the side of my head.
"Is this your first class here?" He asked, and I waited. There was no way he was talking to me; it wasn't like people don't talk to me, but in class, it was weird. What makes it weirder is we are already four weeks into the semester. I've been here every day, but I guess not everyone enjoys or works hard to even attempt to study.
"I've been in class 12 times," I responded. This class specifically was only available on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I knew this because I always had my humanities classes to look forward to, while Tuesdays were always a bit more complicated.
"12 times?" He questioned and blew out a puff of air. "Why only 12?" He laid back in his chair a bit to stretch before turning his attention to the professor as he entered the room.
"We've only met in this class 12 times," I whispered harshly to him and waited for the professor to begin the class.
"What is your major?" He asked, and I could not help but roll my eyes. Why does it matter? Why does he keep trying to talk to me? "I take seminars 1 and 2, and I don't think I have seen you before." His voice dropped lower, and when he finished, the professor began his lecture.
"Good Morning, ladies and gentlemen. As we begin this morning's lecture, we will begin by analyzing Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs." I usually spend this time listening deeply to the professor and taking notes vigilantly. I picked up my purple pen and began to write the date and topic but was rudely interrupted by a half-torn sheet of paper. I flipped it over and revealed just a few words.
'Are you new?'
'No.' I pushed the paper back towards him and tried to focus on the professor, and I began to write down the triangle model he completed on the board. I completed the triangle and began sectioning off the multiple parts the professor identified.
'Why haven't I seen you before?' The note appeared on top of my hand, covering everything else in my vision. I was getting tired of this. What are we in, like high school? I tried not to make any drastic sounds or show irritation, so I did not bother the professor, but I was already ready to change seats. I pulled my hand from under the paper, placed my pen on top, and responded before throwing it toward his notebook.
'I am trying to learn.'
I heard his body settle down, but my guard was up. I didn't want another note, and if he wrote another, I needed to be prepared to leave. I looked behind me a bit, noticing an empty seat next to the window, but it was in the fourth row. I've never sat that far back, but I was prepared to if necessary. It would be the first time I would have changed seats or even been that far away. My father always said that sitting in the front won't make you dumb, but sitting in the back won't make you smart. I always went for the middle, but now this was ruined.
I actually anticipated a response and found myself being on alert and waiting for the response he would give. It did not take long, but after being able to take notes in peace, I just had to look over and see what he was doing. I was at least expecting him to be a little more annoying. An image of Tae sitting next to me in class popped into my head. That is honestly the last thing that I need to envision in class. I shook my head and tried to focus on the professor again. He continued on about the Hierarchy of Needs, writing down examples and mentioning how pertinent it was for us to know this information.
"When analyzing and identifying which need is missing or is not yet fulfilled, remember to associate the characteristics and examples of each. Now, don't forget to bring reasonable research proposals on Tuesday. If you have yet to schedule an appointment with me to discuss it, you will have until noon tomorrow. That is all, see you in the next class." He said, grabbing his things.
I was completely shocked and could not believe that the class had passed by already. It felt like it had just begun, but I only had a 30-minute break before my next class. I began to collect my things before turning to the side of me and noticing the guy had already gotten up and was making his way out the door. I rushed to put my notebook and pen in my bag before galloping after everyone else. By the time I reached the door, he was no longer in my sight. What was he wearing? I began to look around the hall outside and tried to focus on what he looked like, but the only thing I could think about was his smile. Annoying.
I pushed my bag up on my shoulder and walked down the hall. Now was the perfect time for me to begin eating my snack, reading, and catching up on any notes. I walked to the next building over. My next class was Korean Literature and Language. I took up space on the circle couch table that was across from the lecture hall. There were multiple circle couches that were two half spheres put together with a circle table in the middle. I placed my bag down and began to unload my pink notebook and green pen. I reached in for my headphones and noticed a small piece of paper. I did not put that there. I need to focus.
I left the note, pulled out my earphones, and turned my attention back towards what I was doing. I pulled out the coffee next, opened it, and placed it at the top of my notebook. I took the banana out next, placing it next to my pen, and looked back towards my bag.
I placed both earphones in before opening the notebook and looking at my previous notes. I just need to stay focused. I unlocked my phone, opened my app, and began to play my book once again. I wouldn't even get through the opening quote of chapter two before I felt a bump on my shoulder. I quickly turned around and was greeted by that familiar smile as she jumped into the seat next to me.
"Hi," I heard her preppy voice sing as I pulled out my earphones and set them aside. I gave a small smile and took a deep breath.
"Hi," I tried to sound a little bit excited, but I'm sure she knew I was not feeling it. I tried to scoot over so that she could have some space, but she only moved closer towards me.
"What year are you?" She asked, turning her head slightly to the side and staring with her eyes that spoke volumes.
"Uh, this is actually my 4th year," I stated slowly, thinking about what that meant for me. "What about for you?" I followed up with, waiting for her response.
"Technically, this should be my 3rd year, but I completed classes during the summer so that I could graduate sooner." She smiled thoughtfully and held my arm a little tighter. "So, Unnie, what class do you have next?" She asked, and I scoffed in my head. I just met her, and we are already formally talking to one another.
"Korean Lit and Language. You?" I asked, and she gasped.
"Me too! I wanted to take that class so badly; now I can take it with you, Unnie. Want to study after school together? Do you have time?" Woah, way too many questions. I tried to reevaluate what was going on, and before long, it was time for the class to begin.
"Uh, I need to get ready." I started putting things back into my backpack, and she tried to help.
"Here." She said sweetly, picking up my notebook and coffee. "I'll carry these for you." She stood there holding them and waited for me silently.
"Thanks," I reached for it, but she smiled and turned her body towards the classroom. "Where are your things?" I asked, and she smiled.
"I actually was sitting in the classroom already. I just saw you and wanted to see you." She smiled and trotted towards the room a little.
"Oh," I watched her walk straight into the room and placed my things down in the empty space next to her items. No wonder I never saw her; she was always in the front row. I guess looking at the back of someone's head; you never know what they look like from the front.
She sat in her chair and patted the chair next to her. It wasn't that I did not want to have friends, but I tended to focus more on the reason for being at school. I always made sure to focus on school, but now I'm afraid to sit there. Why am I afraid to sit there? My legs wouldn't move, and I don't know if I should. I just need to go. It's no big deal, just go. I forced a smile, and the next thing I knew, my legs just moved. I pushed my hair back a bit before taking a seat next to her, and she sighed, turning to the front of the room.
"I really love this class; what about you?" She asked, and I shrugged a bit.
"I mean, it's definitely something nice to learn." I looked down at my notebook, reaching for my pen. I saw her reach for something as well before I placed my pen on my desk. I reached for the can of coffee that was straight ahead before placing my hand on top.
"Oh, we're so alike!" She squealed, and I turned to see her with her coffee in hand. I smiled softly. She was so sweet. It was nice to have someone who was happy around me.
"I guess so." I smiled and tried to think of something to talk about. "Year 3, what's your major?" Is that really a good question to ask? I watched her face and waited for a reaction. I opened my coffee, raising it to drink as I waited for her response.
"Well, I'm a Psychology major, but I wanted to be able to take this class. The only problem was that this wasn't in my course of study. So I took some classes through the summer so I could get the opportunity to take this class." She said so innocently, smiling and looking like she was trying to catch her breath a bit. That was so cool, Psychology. She must be really good at studying, and she's so young. I took a drink and moved a little closer. So she's like almost a doctor.
"Wow, that's amazing." I smiled, and she blushed a little before opening her coffee. "That takes a lot of commitment, school during the summer." She smiled as she took a sip.
"Not really. I just studied online mostly. It helps." She took another drink, and she smiled more. Her smile was very charming.
"Well, I think it's really cool." All of a sudden, it hit me. "Jennie! My name it's Jennie." I smiled and couldn't help but mentally beat myself up. I didn't even tell her my name.
"Minji." She said. "I'm sorry, I get carried away sometimes. I just feel like I've known you forever." I laughed a little because somehow I felt the same. The door began to open, and I looked towards the opening door and watched as the class came flooding in, with the professor breaking out in the middle of the herd.
I watched as the final students came in, turning to Minji, who was now completely focused on the teacher. She was watching him like a monitor, and it made me smile. She did somehow remind me of a younger version of myself. I turned in my chair, pulled my phone onto my lap, and began to record the session. I placed my phone face down and began following suit and paying close attention. I slowly worked my way through my coffee and fought myself on whether to save or eat the banana now.
The class continued through; this class was one of my longer classes. After this, I actually will be able to grab lunch, and now this was all that was on my mind. What should I have for lunch, kimbap, bbq, I don't know. I could feel my mouth begin to water, and before I knew it, my stomach made a tiny growl. I couldn't help but sit up straighter and try to make my notes look better. I will be fine. I paced myself through, looking at the professor expressing the strength and power in the poetry. He was reading a poem written by Goreyo scholars, and I was attached to every word. I was surprised when he closed the book, and I could hear a couple of people behind me groan. Maybe this is everyone's favorite class.
"Next week, we will be looking at more classical literature from the Sijo period. That is it for today's class." He spoke softly, closing the book, and it was like his enchantment over the whole class left. I began to hear movement, and slowly, everyone within the room began rising to their feet, and I turned towards Minji.
"Let's get lunch." She said, standing up to pack her backpack. She opened it and began piling her notebook inside and dropping the pen in the first pocket she saw.
"Uh, sure. Where?" I asked, taking my backpack and opening it, laying my notebook inside the pouch, and placing my pen in the holder.
"I go to this nice cafe all the time. It's right next to campus. Come on." She said, moving past her chair and moving towards the door. She was such high energy, and I almost feel like I can't keep up. I closed the flap on my backpack and got up to meet her at the door.
As we made our way down the hall, she continued to talk, telling me about everything. She was very talkative, and I couldn't help but listen. It wasn't that I hadn't had friends. I just always preferred to be by myself. I always felt like it was hard to connect with anyone, and I felt like the friendship would always eventually disintegrate. So, I guess if you think it hard enough, it really will manifest. I took another look at her and smiled. Maybe in another life, we did meet. Maybe we were friends or sisters in that life. I reached down for my phone, looking in my pockets, and then opened my bag. My phone, I must have left it on the desk.
"Uh, I think I left my phone in class. I'll be right back." I turned around to go and grab it, but she just followed.
"I can come with." She skipped and walked right next to me.
"Maybe you were my sister from my life in Goreyo," I told her, laughing, and she put her hands in the middle of her stomach before bowing like a maid of the court.
"Thank you." She spoke in a slow and serious tone before we both burst out into laughter. As we made our way to the lecture room, I opened the door and immediately saw my phone on the desk. I made my way closer, but when I reached to grab it, I was stopped. My hand covered before I could fully take hold of it. I had completely ignored whatever was going on. I took a look around and stopped in my tracks.
"Hello again." A voice boomed softly into my ear. I turned towards the stranger and noticed who it was. "Read my note yet?"
Out of everything I experienced so far, waking up was definitely the hardest part.