It had been 3 weeks since the incident. It felt weird calling it that. 'The incident.' That made it sound more like some intense family squabble that had gone down, like when Latika's parents had gotten into a shouting match over some magazines. This wasn't so much an incident as it was a calamity. And it was still weighing on Gabriela's mind. She didn't think it would ever go away. She had been kidnapped, almost killed, and then almost killed a few more times.
She had been shocked when the news about it being a steam vent explosion came out. But then she was relieved. It was better this way. Whatever had happened, everyone remained unaware of the truth. Honestly, she wished she did too. But then again, if Travis's theory was right, that would mean her own mind and memories would have gotten messed with which sent shivers down her spine. No, thank you, she liked her brain unscrambled.
School had been let off for a week as the building was being repaired. Her dad and a few other people in town had donated though an anonymous organization that had been the most help, another one of Travis's theories. Gabriela thought he was being a little overly suspicious, though she couldn't help but think it might be true. Whatever the case, she had been grateful for the time off as she had had time to work on her speech.
The only problem was, during that time, she couldn't work on her speech. Every waking, and sleeping, moment was filled with thoughts on what happened. Of Swarm, raising his arms and sending waves of those microbots of his to kill her. Compared to that, writing a speech for class president felt…meaningless.
She hated feeling like this. She had never felt like this, even after her mom died. Then she had just been depressed. Now? Now she was scared out of her mind. She didn't want to leave the apartment or go to school when it reopened. She had forced herself to and had been constantly jumping around, afraid Swarm might be hiding behind the corners. She at first thought it would be best to travel in groups so she always made sure that she was with Meredith, Rosalyn, or Latika. But then she was worried Swarm might kill them too so she started avoiding walking with them. Now she had no idea what to do. She just wanted things to be normal again. She never wanted any of this. This stupid power had ruined her life and she had no idea how to get rid of it. She honestly couldn't believe Travis was still eager to use his after what had happened. More than that, he wanted to enter this new world of super-people. No thanks. Gabriela would rather pretend none of it existed.
But she knew she couldn't. Her powers were so…powerful, that she couldn't not forget them. She had to maintain control. That was the one thing she made sure to do every day, practice with her powers so that the bathroom incident never happened again. She had gotten really good and didn't feel in danger of losing control and blasting things apart anymore. But it still didn't fix anything.
"Hey Gabi." Gabriela saw her dad in her bedroom doorway, a concerned look on his face. "Can I come in?"
She flicked her hand aimlessly which he took to mean 'yes' and walked in. "So, how are you doing?" he asked as she sat down next to her.
She shrugged. "I don't know."
"Well that makes sense, considering you were there when it happened. That's not something you get over easily. Sometimes at all."
"Very comforting, dad," she mumbled.
"Sorry. Your mom was better at this stuff." He leaned back, sighing a little. "She used to tell me that keeping stuff bottled in was basically asking for it to shatter and shoot glass into your face."
"Philosophical and morbid. Yeah that sounds like mom."
"Uh huh. But it's true. I mean, I think you know that, it's a common expression. Not the shooting into your face part, that was all her, but the rest. I get if you don't want to talk to me. I mean, you'll stab me in my heart," he said, giving her his pouty face that almost made her laugh, "but I am your dad and I know there's stuff you don't want to talk to me about. But you should talk to someone. Someone you trust with it. Maybe a random stranger I can buy online for 100 dollars an hour?" he said, holding up his phone that showed a list of top therapists in the county.
"I don't need a therapist, dad."
"Are you sure? Cause this one got his degree at Harvard and he still is doing only a hundred bucks an hour. I mean that's a bargain if I ever saw one."
"Dad," she interrupted.
"Sorry Gabi. What I'm trying to say is that…well, I'm worried about you. Don't think I didn't notice your speech." He gestured to the open notebook with the headline Election Speech at the top and nothing below it. "Plus your friends even texted me to share their concerns as well."
Damn, Gabriela thought. She couldn't even feel betrayed by them because she would do the exact same thing in their shoes. Besides, she had been acting super weird. She'd even let Dredden pick out who would replace Sumin on the debate team, a surefire sign she'd gone crazy.
"Look, you went through something traumatic. And now, I could be wrong here," he added, holding up his hands defensively, "but it seems that it's hitting you pretty hard, which is nothing to be ashamed of. So, talk to someone about it. Someone you trust. It will make you feel better, ok?"
Gabriela took a deep breath. Honestly, yes, she did want to get these feelings out. But she couldn't tell her dad about it all, or any of her friends because she wasn't ready to tell them about her powers. She kept waiting for that feeling but it didn't come. She was too scared. But maybe…
"Ok, dad. I will," she promised.
"Wonderful. And just remember, if there's anything you need to tell me, I'm all ears. You know you can tell me anything, right?" He looked at her closely as he said this and she was reminded of when she first told him she was gay. She so wanted to tell him about her powers now but…she just couldn't. Something still held her back.
"I know dad. I know."
For a second there, she thought she saw a flicker of disappointment but it was gone so quickly that she was sure it was her imagination. "Alright then. I'll leave you to it."
"Hey dad," she said as he stood up to go.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks," she told him, standing up as well and hugging him tightly.
"Anytime."
As he walked out, Gabriela thought about what he said. Someone she trusted. But…who could she trust with this? Someone who already knew about her powers obviously, but who…
Her mind flashed back to a time a few weeks ago, even though it felt like months at this point, where she gave a tour to a new student. A student who helped her out, who made her rethink her way of looking at the school and advised her how to write her speech.
Yes, he might help.
"Angie, can you handle the dishes?"
"Why can't you do it?" she asked, shooting him a dirty look.
"You know why," he replied. She rolled her eyes up to heaven but went off to the kitchen. Franklin sighed as she did. She hadn't let up for the past few weeks. She mostly just ignored him, but every now and then she'd shoot him a snide remark or a glare just to remind him she was still angry. His mom and aunt has asked him about it but he'd brushed them off, saying it was nothing important. He knew that that wouldn't waylay his mom forever but hopefully Angie would get over herself before the topic was brought up again.
He started wiping the counter carefully. Most things here he had to do carefully now. Scratch that, everything he had to do carefully now. He was constantly being reminded how strong he was now. He couldn't wash dishes anymore as every time he held the plate to scrub it, he almost always wound up breaking it. He'd bent a fork the other day during dinner with his teeth, had ripped open a drawer by pulling slightly hard, and shattered a mug just by sneezing. He couldn't risk it continuing to happen so he was making sure to do everything as carefully as possible. He'd already been through three toothbrushes.
The deli's bell rang and he looked up, blinking at the sight of Gabriela walking in. "Hey," he greeted. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, well, looking for you actually," she said, seeming a little embarrassed. Franklin frowned at that, wondering what would have her worked up like that.
"Well, I'm on shift now, so…" he raised his hands helplessly.
"Oh, um…I guess I could…"
"Actually he's on a break."
"Jeez," Franklin hissed, jumping from his mom's sudden appearance behind him. "And what do you mean I'm on a break, I just started ten minutes ago."
"And now I'm taking over," his mom informed him with a smile and a sly wink, making him groan. But knowing there was no way talking his way out of, and honestly grateful to escape accidentally destroying the counter, he pulled off his apron and jerked his head at Gabriela to one of the open tables.
"So what's up?" he asked.
"Uh…this is kind of awkward to say, but…I could use your advice on something."
"That's not awkward. Everyone needs advice. Lay it on me."
Gabriela hesitated for a second more. "How are you doing? After what happened?"
Franklin raised an eyebrow. "That's not asking for advice, that's asking how I'm doing. And I'm doing…well, not great but not too badly. Could be worse, considering." All the incident had really done was made him double-down on his stance on choosing that sort of path in life. His close calls with death were way too close. He could never do that to his family.
He looked at Gabriela and frowned, starting to realize why she might be asking him this. "How are you doing with it?" he asked back.
"Yeah…I, um, I'm…not doing as well as I would hope."
"You know that's ok right? We did survive getting killed by a maniac. If you think you're just going to walk that off and go back to normal, you're crazy."
"But you went back to normal."
Franklin snorted. "Are you kidding? Every time I go to school, I wonder if Swarm's gonna pop out and attack again. Or worse, he might appear here and…well, you know." He liked that thought even less. He could easily picture the deli in the same state as the school, ripped apart with his family… He shook off the images. He would never let that happen.
"But you…"
"I may act like it's not fazing me, but it is. I just don't want to scare my mom. She was freaked out enough about it being a steam vent explosion." He still didn't understand how that worked. How the hell had people's minds suddenly warped? He wasn't complaining much about it, like most of them, but it still scared the bejesus out of him. And he didn't even know what a bejesus was or what it was doing inside of him. "I'm terrified. But, what can we do? Sit here and pretend it's not happening. Tried that already once in my life and it didn't work."
Gabriela blinked at that but didn't press. "My dad suggested I talk to someone about this."
"And you chose me? I'm flattered, but it's not like I'm a specialist from Harvard with a reasonable rate."
She gave him a sharp look. "How do you know about that?"
"Oh you looked up therapists too? Yeah, my mom suggested him if I was going through stuff, but I told her I was fine. I mean, I'm not. But I don't think I need, or want, to talk to someone like that about this."
"Agreed."
"Still," Franklin continued, "if you're really feeling…I don't know the right word here. Down, I guess, but that still feels off. Anyway, if you're feeling that, talking to someone isn't a bad idea. I've done it and it did help me."
Again she gave him a look but again didn't press. "I know that. It's just…I guess I wanted talk to a friend who went through it too first."
"You consider me a friend? Aw, thanks, but I barely know you. I think this has been our like third or something interaction. Maybe fourth."
"After what we went through, I think we're fine crossing the line into friend zone," she replied, smirking a little.
"Touché. Alright, so what else you got?" Franklin leaned back. He did admit, it was nice talking to her. He hadn't really done that with any of the others. He'd barely had a chance to talk to Travis, that guy constantly on the move now that he was rarely seen. And Luke…well, Franklin had taken to sitting with him at lunch instead but the guy seemed more interested in ignoring the event entirely, focusing on the upcoming football games. This right here was honestly the first conversation about what happened. And just talking made it seem a little more bearable. Guess Gabriela was right after all, he thought.
"The real problem I'm facing, and this is going to sound silly," she warned him, causing him to give her a look in turn, "but, you know the election speech is coming up and I, well, I can't think of anything to write for it. Every time I try, I just…can't."
The last word was said with such dejection that Franklin was surprised that she didn't slump over. "Ok, well first off, you know writer's block isn't the end of the world, right?"
"Yeah."
"And second, that might be your problem." She looked up at him confused and he elaborated. "I mean, we went through something that nearly killed us. And, this just a theory, but maybe you're starting to feel like 'what's the point of writing this speech if I might die tomorrow?'"
After his dad's death, he'd gone through the same thing. It was why he was able to manage it better now. Still, he had almost given up reading comics and such, figuring what was the point of it all. It was only because of his dad's love for it that drove him back.
"I…yeah, I guess so," she admitted.
"Well then, I think you need to ask yourself why you're doing it in the first place. If you might die tomorrow, then what's worth living for today? That's why I'm not joining Travis on his escapades. I will always be a superhero fan but I have no desire to be one." Not after what happened, he added silently. "I'm going to be there for my family and keep living for their sakes."
"Not your own?"
Franklin stiffened at her question. That was…not something he wanted to get into. "Look, I know that this speech is important to you. But you've…lost the reason for why you were doing it. So, I think you need to solve that first."
Gabriela looked at him for a few more seconds before smiling. "Thanks Franklin."
"No problem. Always happy to help. And avoid work too," he added, gesturing to the counter where his mom was taking the latest order.
"So this is your family's place?"
"Yep. My Uncle Pete's actually. We moved here after…well, money issues," he finished a little awkwardly. While not technically lying, he really didn't feel like getting into the truth.
"It's nice," she commented. "It really feels…homey."
Franklin hadn't heard it called that before but she was right. That was exactly how he had started feeling about this place without even realizing it. It did feel like home now. A twinge of guilt hit him at the thought of anyplace feeling home without his dad there but that he ignored. It wasn't good to dwell on those kinds of thoughts. Besides, his dad would want him to feel at home here.
"So, you joined football, right?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "Got a game tomorrow actually against the Pinecrest High team. Should be fun."
"You don't sound too thrilled."
Franklin shrugged. "Football's not really my thing."
"Then why do it?"
"Well…I am good at it. No modesty, I am. And it could help me score a scholarship down the road which, I don't need to tell you would be helpful."
"Yeah, I get that," she nodded. "But, I do Debate and Student Council and LGBTQIA because I love them, not just because they look good for college admissions."
Franklin gave her a look. "Not all of us have much of a choice in the matter, Ms. Fuentes."
She winced a little at the emphasis on her last name. Her dad had it plastered on some of the construction equipment at the school while it was being fixed and it hadn't taken long to connect the dots to learn she was one of the richest girls in town. "Yeah, that's fair. But still, you just told me we should find stuff worth living for. And if you don't really like football, then it's not really worth…"
"Stop," he said firmly. "Look, obviously I get all that. But it's not a waste to me. I'm just looking out for my future. If it helps push me on a better path, then it is worth it. Besides, I never said I didn't like it. Just that it's not really my thing."
"Sorry," she said, looking down a little. "I didn't mean to imply…"
"It's fine," he stopped her. "Don't worry."
"Hey," she said after a minute, "how you do you play with your…um, powers?"
Franklin grimaced. "Yeah, that is a problem," he admitted. "Do you think it's cheating?"
She looked upward, tapping her chin with her finger. "Well, there is no rule about not using superpowers since…"
"Yeah, I figured that part."
"But it might fall under stimulants or performance drugs though we still have no idea where our powers came from. I will ask, are you actively using your powers to win?"
Franklin shook his head. In practice, he had to try his best to hold back now, so that his strength seemed on par with everyone else's. He still excelled but he was also comparing himself to before and trying to keep it on that same level. That way, it was still, to him, a little fair.
"Well…" Gabriela said after he explained, "I don't really know. I would say the safest thing to do would be to just not do it, cause you are at an unfair advantage, but you didn't ask for this either and are making the most of it so…I think you're alright."
Franklin smiled. "Thanks. That does help."
"What about Luke? How's he handling it?"
"About the same. He really tries to not use his powers but, you know, they're almost like second nature now." He saw her nodding along. He barely noticed his enhanced strength now. It was why he had to act so carefully these days.
"Well, as long as he doesn't use his powers to win the games, he should be fine too."
Luke really didn't want to use his powers during the games. Every time he did, he felt dirty. He knew it was cheating-adjacent or however it was put. But in the game they played last week, they'd been down by six points with only 30 seconds left on the clock. So Luke had run the play, using his telekinesis (as he now learned it was apparently called from Travis) to push the other player just enough out of the way or boost himself forward to score a win. It was a close call, but they had won.
Not this time, he told himself. He couldn't keep doing this. He knew he was good even without the damn powers. He had to prove that. He could win this game without them. Otherwise it wouldn't feel like a real win to him.
"You ready?" his dad asked. They were standing just outside the field, about to go in.
"Yeah," Luke nodded, hoping he sounded more certain than he felt.
"Good. Just remember to always focus on the ball. Where it's going to go, who has it, who might get it next, where you want to throw it."
"You know that's a lot to remember, right?" Luke asked him dryly.
"Hilarious," his dad replied in the same tone before chuckling. "Now go out there and show them what you can do."
"Course, dad," he said easily but as he walked away, he felt a twinge in his gut. Because he couldn't show them what he could do. And he never could.
But I can show them my real skills, he reminded himself. That was what was important here. Not the stupid telekinesis. He didn't need that to win games. And even if he didn't win, that was fine too. His mom had taught him that. With every loss, you learn something. He couldn't just go around winning all the time cause he could. Of course, he learned it after losing his teddy bear and the whole thing turned out to be moot when he found it two minutes later, but it still resonated with him.
With new resolve he ran inside to the changing rooms where everyone was already gathered. "Glad you could join us, Dicker," Andrew called out. "What, just cause you're co-quarterback now, you think you're too good to change with us."
In response, Luke took off his shirt and pulled on his uniform. He didn't have time for Andrew's crap right now. He had a game to win and he had to keep his focus divided. One eye on the ball and the other one on making sure his power remained locked up. No more fake wins in his book. Today, they would win or lose by their own merits.
Please let us never get close to losing so I won't even be tempted, he inwardly begged.
"Alright team, huddle up," Coach Beatriz said a few minutes later. "Here's the plan." Luke listened carefully as she detailed their attack strategy and defensive measures. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Andrew rolling his eyes and had to stifle his groan. This wasn't going to be easy with him. Andrew had acted as quarterback last time but they were up against Pinecrest now who had a notoriously good team.
"…which is why Luke will be our quarterback."
Luke's mind had to play fast forward as he caught up to what she was saying. "Wait, what?" he asked, blinking in surprise. "Really?"
"You are our best thrower," she said. "We can pull a fake with Carson," she nodded at Franklin, "and then you toss to Andrew to haul down the middle." She went into more detail on it, describing their specific positons and the timing of it all. It was a solid plan, one that would hopefully work, though from Andrew's expression he didn't care for it. "Alright, team on 3," Beatriz said, putting her hand in the center. "One…two…three…TEAM!"
They all cried out the last word together and then moved off.
Of course, when they all stepped outside, the dark clouds above them had decided to let loose in a full downpour. "Alright team, I know this is uncomfortable but it's nothing we're not used to," Beatriz called out to them. "So get out there and show them what you got!"
"Yes coach!"
As they made their way to the field, Luke was reminded of the many times he and his dad practiced in the rain. At some point, even though it was as uncomfortable as hell, you just got used to it. Besides, nothing would beat the time the ball had gone near the side of the road and when he went to get it, a car had driven by and splashed him with ice-cold muddy water. His dad still made him practice like that, saying you were never certain as to what might happen on the field, though Luke didn't think a Volkswagen was going to drive on the field to splatter him again. Still he was a little grateful since anything compared to that felt like a comfy blanket.
Plus there was always a silver lining and Luke had just found his.
"Hello there Simmons."
"Shut it Decker."
"You know," he said, checking her out in her cheerleader outfit. "I can't decide if you look hotter with your hair plastered down like that or the way it was before."
She fixed him with what he figured was a 7 on the 'I want to murder you' stare scale.
"Oh and Britta, I didn't see you there," he said, greeting her warmly. "I must say you look divine as well, thought I will side more with Simmons here since I have given my heart to her."
"Well you can take your heart and shove it up your…hey Coach," she said, suddenly smiling as Beatriz walked by, Britta and Luke snorting.
"This guy bothering you?" the coach asked.
"No more than usual and nothing I can't handle," Emily assured her.
"Good. Now stop flirting Decker and get out there on the field."
"Yes Coach," he flashed one last wink at Simmons before running off, taking position with the others. "Alright guys," he told his friends, "I know we're all soaking wet so let's win this as quickly as possible. Just think of that nice hot shower waiting for you back home."
"Hell yeah!" Roderick yelled out.
Luke saw Franklin off to the side and tilted his head as he regarded him. Honestly, when he found out he had superpowers too, enhanced strength or something like that, Luke hadn't been that surprised. The way he had dominated tryouts and then practices from then on made it seem like he was some sort of superhuman. Just looking at him now, Luke was reminded of some bronze statues he'd seen in a museum once. Sturdy and still that nothing short of a meteor could move him. Luke wondered how he was able to hold back on the field with a power like that. He could just run across the field, tossing aside all opponents like they were nothing, winning each game with ease.
How was he coping with using his powers during games? Maybe that was why Luke hadn't seen him shine as much as he thought. Maybe he was holding back so much so as not to feel like cheating. Luke didn't know for sure since the one time he'd brought it up had caused Franklin to shoot him a look and tell him to drop it. It was clearly something he didn't want to discuss.
Luke wasn't sure what to make of him. A couple weeks ago he had started sitting with him and the rest of his friends at lunch but didn't seem to engage much, only answering questions when asked and otherwise just eating in silence. He sometimes made a sarcastic comment or talked about upcoming football games but other than that nothing. Luke thought it might have something to do with what happened but he also didn't want to talk about it. Everything about that day was best left alone. He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to talk about it, didn't want anything to do with it. So people didn't know what really happened? Good. He wished he was like that. His whole life had been training for when he could be quarterback, when he could show the world what he could do, and it had all been upended by his powers, making him question if he would even be where he was without them.
And that day? That day had nearly killed him. Enough said.
No, he wouldn't think about it anymore. He had a game to play. Time to get his head in it and focus. He got into position and breathed in. Remember, he told himself, no powers.
The whistle blew and the game began. Almost instantly, everything went wrong. Franklin rushed forward and was able to clear a path through, causing most of the Pinecrest players to surround him, like they'd suspected. Luke made a gesture as if he was going to pass then switched directions. He had seen Andrew move from the corner of his eye and now spotted him moving with only a handful of players on his tail. Luke threw hard but didn't use his powers, letting the ball fly on pure manpower. It sailed through the air, coming right down on where Andrew was going to grab it. That was, until the opposing player suddenly leapt up and grabbed the ball out of the air.
Luke blinked, sure he had missed something, but no. It had happened. They had lost the ball.
"Turnover," the ref called out and the teams switched with the opposing team now in possession. Luke shook his head, refocusing. No matter what happened, he needed to do what his father said and keep his eyes on the ball. He took a deep breath in and readied himself as the motion was called. The second the ball was in the quarterback's hands, he was already throwing it. Luke could feel the ball in his mind and he could sense where it would land. All it would take was one little push and it fall to the ground.
No! he reminded himself. He couldn't do that. So instead, he ran as hard as he could for the spot, reaching to intercept, but he was too late. The same player as last time ripped the ball from the air and started running. Luke grunted and gave chase but the player was faster, even managing to outrun Andrew. Luke again felt the temptation to trip him up but he pushed it down and just had to watch as the player made it to the end zone. "Damn it!" he cursed.
"Don't worry Luke," Omar said on his side. "We'll get them next time."
But they didn't. Pinecrest continued to wipe the floor with them down after down. Luke felt the frustration bubbling inside him. He kept seeing opportunities to intervene. A slight twitch of the ball there or a trip of the feet that would give them the edge. But that would ruin the game. At least that's what he kept telling himself as he stared at his demoralized team around him. It wouldn't be right. Wouldn't it?
Coach Beatriz soon had them pass to Franklin who, as Luke predicted, dominated the match after that. No matter what any Pinecrest team member tried to do, they couldn't slow him down. Luke felt a little jealous, not because he was winning, but because he couldn't consciously shut his power off. He had no choice but to let it out and gain points from it.
If he's using it, should I? Luke thought, but again he shook it off. No, like he said, Franklin couldn't turn it off. Luke could and that was what mattered.
He was brought up to kick the ball later and made sure to consciously hold his power in check. But as he was doing that, he didn't give enough power to the ball. He felt that as soon as he kicked and could barely watch as the ball just fell short.
Damn it! he cursed again. Get it together Decker! Your team is counting on you!
But no matter what he did, Pinecrest was always one step ahead. He tried to watch out for that one player who had beaten him before, blocking him at one point, but that turned out to be a feint as they passed to someone else who scored another down. Luke could feel the team's energy dropping with each minute that passed, the gap in points increasing dramatically.
We can still do this, he told himself. Franklin was still dominating every down he played. But when they threw the ball to him this time, Pinecrest managed to grab it before Franklin could, causing another turnover. After that it was pretty much over. No matter what they tried, they weren't able to match up and when the final whistle rang, Luke slumped over in defeat.
He'd done it though. He hadn't used his powers once. So why did he feel so much worse?
It was a sorry group that entered the changing rooms, everyone soggy and wet and miserable. Luke was a little surprised Andrew wasn't making any remarks but when he looked over, all he saw was angry frustration across his face. Franklin's expression remained neutral but even Luke could tell he was disappointed.
Coach Beatriz soon came in and gave them a few points but she left it at, "I know you did your best out there. So don't feel guilty. Each and every one of you gave it your all and that's all I ask. Now go home and get some rest."
Luke barely heard any of it though. He barely registered his friends patting him on the shoulder or them saying goodbye. He barely remembered the walk back to the car or him and his dad driving off.
"Well what I think you could have done was…" his father began, finally causing Luke to look up at him.
"Not now dad," he said, interrupting him. "We'll go over it tomorrow but…just not right now."
Surprisingly, his dad agreed and they drove in silence. When they got home, Luke only offered a small wave to his mom and Amy and a slight pat on the head to their dog Buster before heading to his room. As soon as he did, he hit his bed and covered his hands over his face. Coach Beatriz's words came back to him, causing a fresh wave of guilt to hit him. Because he hadn't given his all. He had purposely held back, making sure not to get ahead of the other team. And because of that, they had lost. He'd had so many opportunities to use his power, to give them an advantage, and he hadn't. He knew it would be cheating, he knew it would be unfair. But he couldn't shake the looks on his teammates faces, on his friend's faces, when they lost so badly.
He'd let his team down. And that was the worst feeling of all.