"Ok, there are two muffins in an oven. One of them turns to the other and says 'it's getting a little hot in here, isn't it' and then the other one cries out, 'oh my god, a talking muffin!'" Ralph instantly cracked up the second he finished.
Luke Decker sighed. "Dude, that's not that funny."
"What are you talking about, it's hilarious!" Ralph complained.
"Yeah, it's really not."
"Agh, whatever man. You just have no taste for quality jokes."
They argued about it all the way to their table where other members of Luke's football team, Roderick, Bruce, Sally, and Omar were sitting along with Sally's girlfriend Kim and Bruce's twin Wayne, all of them laughing and joking around. Their table was situated near the center of the cafeteria, unofficially designated one of the popular tables. Luke took a moment to glance over at the central table where quarterback Andrew Stroneman sat. That's where he wanted to sit. Not for the table specifically, but just because the quarterback sat there. And he would make sure he was quarterback.
"Sup guys," Luke said, taking a seat. "What's going on?"
"Ah, nothing much," Roderick said. "Just going over what practice will be like tomorrow."
"Hope the new coach doesn't drop us," Bruce said. They'd all been hearing rumors that Coach Beatriz would be testing all of them to see how they worked. Which naturally led to everyone wondering if they would still make the cut in her eyes. After their disastrous season last year, the school had reached out to Beatriz to bring them back to the top. Luke had heard of her reputation and knew they were in for hard stuff tomorrow.
"Don't worry, guys," he assured them. "You're all amazing out there. No doubt we own this thing. Just do tomorrow what you always do, and we'll all make it in, no problem."
They all grinned. "Yeah!" Omar clapped.
"Little loud dude," Ralph muttered, sitting next to him.
As they laughed, Luke's eyes fell on one of the kids walking by. He was the new kid who looked like he could smash through a wall. Or, better yet, smashing his way through an opposing team.
"Hold on," he said. "I think I Just found us a new linebacker."
"Really who?" Bruce asked.
"Him," Luke nodded and they all turned to see the kid sit down at the corner of the room.
"Oh damn. He's practically a tank," Sally muttered.
"He could be a whole team by himself," Wayne said.
"Hold on." Luke stood up. With his father's plan for his football career hanging over him, Luke needed to win the season, so he needed good players. One look told him this guy was a good player.
"Hello," he said as he walked up. The people at the table looked up, surprised and curious expressions on their faces, and Luke noticed who the new kid was sitting next to. "Oh, hey Travis, how's it going?"
"Hey Luke," Travis nodded. "If you're looking for a way to get on Andrew's good side again, I can't help you. He doesn't really care about me." He paused for a second, then added, "and he doesn't really have a good side."
"No, that's fine," Luke replied. He had asked for Travis's help last year to see if he could get a better position on the football team. It had backfired upon learning what an absolute ass Andrew was. "I'm actually here to talk to you," he said to the new kid.
The guy seemed to sigh a little before facing Luke. "Let me guess, you want me to try out for the football team?"
Luke laughed, patting his shoulder. "You are right on the money. I'm Luke Decker, by the way."
"Franklin Carson."
"Nice to meet you. I just want to say, you've got the right build for a player. I think you'd make a great addition to the team. Bring more power to it. Try-outs are tomorrow, if you're interested."
Franklin seemed to think about it, not saying anything for a minute. Luke felt his spirits plummet a little. He hoped the guy would say yes. After their final game last year that would live in infamy forever, Luke's dad had doubled down on his training, telling him if he lost this year, he could kiss his scholarship goodbye. Luke knew he was good, he knew his teammates were good. But sometimes, good wasn't enough. And, well, he just had a feeling that this guy had what it took. Over the years, he learned to trust his instincts.
"You know, football is a great way to meet girls. Or boys, if that's what you're into," Luke said, trying to convince him. Then, just like magic, she appeared.
If this was a movie, a song would start playing and she would instantly be walking in slow motion, her long, curly blond hair falling down her back like a waterfall. If angels existed, Luke was sure Emily Simmons would be one. He had asked her out many times but apparently she thought he was too arrogant and full of himself. But he hadn't given up hope just yet.
"Let me guess, head cheerleader?" Franklin asked.
"You bet. She's the woman of my dreams. Yo Simmons!"
Emily stopped halfway across the cafeteria and Luke could see her tense up and could practically see her grit her teeth even though her back was turned to him. He couldn't help but smile a little. As much as he liked her, it was a little funny to see how much he could rile her up. Everyone in the cafeteria instantly stopped what they were doing, suddenly more interested in this show.
"What do you want, Decker?" the girl asked, still not turning.
"When are we gonna stop doing this little routine of ours and actually go out?"
"Hmmm, let me think. Oh how about never, how does that sound?"
"Come on Simmons, I'm really nice I promise. Just give me a shot. Just one." He jutted out his bottom lip for effect.
Emily sighed, turning around and Luke could now see the exasperated look on her face. "Decker, I can promise you that I would only ever go out with you if pigs started flying, you arrogant dickweed. And, I can honestly say I'd rather go out with the pig."
Luke chuckled as she left. "See now, that's destiny right there."
"Really?" Travis questioned. "Seems more like delusion to me. But hey man, you do you."
"So, tryouts?" Luke asked, turning back to Franklin.
"Yeah, sure, I'll be there," he said, nodding a little, and Luke grinned in relief.
"Great, glad to hear it. We lost some of our best linebackers last term so it'd be good to replace them with fresh blood. Not that you don't have to be linebacker, it's just, you know with…" he gestured to Franklin's whole body.
"Linebacker is fine," Franklin said.
"Oh, good. Yeah, I'm linebacker too," Luke told him. "Great position. Though I am hoping to become quarterback this year."
Travis snorted. "Sorry," he said. "But you know my brother will never let that happen."
Luke didn't care. He would become quarterback, no matter what. "Alright, well I'd better get back. Nice to meet you Franklin and good to see you again Travis. I'll see you all around."
He went back to his table, reseating himself and digging once more into his burger.
"How'd it go?" Omar asked.
"Pretty good," he said around a mouthful of food.
"The new kid or your latest failure with Emily?" Ralph asked.
"OH!" they all shouted and Luke laughed along with them.
"I meant the new kid, Franklin Carson," he said. "He'll tryout tomorrow and we'll see how he does then."
"Great," Roderick said. "So, we're heading to see that new action movie tonight. You in?"
Luke grimaced, the good mood fading. "Sorry, can't. Got training with my dad."
Bruce rolled his eyes. "Don't you have that like every day?"
Luke shrugged. "He just wants me to be in the best shape for football, you know."
"Dude," Bruce gave him a look. "You're like, in the best shape of your life. I'm pretty sure you have an eight-pack."
Luke gave him a sly look back. "Have you been peeking?" he asked cheekily.
"OH!" they all cried out while Bruce blushed.
"It's not a crime to take a peek every now and then," he said, winking.
"OH!" they all cried out again, laughing.
"But that's not the point," Bruce said, waving them off. "Look, you're the best of all of us. I'm sure pro-teams would ask for you if they saw you. Heck I bet the Dallas Cowboys would let you in."
"I think you mean the Pittsburgh Stealers," Roderick interjected.
Bruce shot him a glare. "I don't have time to get into that right now, so we'll just do it later. What I'm trying to say is that you don't need to train every night. Pretty sure your eight-pack will still be there tomorrow even if you don't train."
"That's what I've been saying," Ralph said in his annoying told-you-so sing-song voice.
"Oh, you've been peeking at his eight-pack too?" Sally asked, causing them all to laugh again.
Luke sighed though, not really wanting to hear it. Mostly because he knew they were right but there was nothing he could do. His dad wouldn't hear of him taking a night off, especially right before the tryouts. When he'd heard of the coach switch, he'd doubled the amount of training, saying that new coaches always tested all their players especially hard in the beginning.
"Sorry guys. You enjoy the movie without me. But hey, maybe tomorrow?" There was a better chance of his dad taking it easy on him tomorrow. It still existed in the realm of flying pigs, but it was a tiny bit better.
They all just shook their heads, going back to eating. Ralph gave him a sympathetic look, knowing more about his home life but Luke pointedly ignored him, wanting a change in subject.