Mrs. Johnson held her son tightly. She felt Samuel Johnson's tears seeping into her clothes, scalding her heart with pain, and she began to cry out, "My son, please don't do this. It hurts Mom so much when you're like this..."
"It's all Mom's fault. It has nothing to do with you... If it hadn't been for Mom's mistake, how could Amanda have left?"
Self-blame and pain are the most useless things.
Once harm has been done, even a thousand, ten thousand apologies can't make up for the mistake made in the first place.
That truth was something Samuel Johnson came to understand more deeply than anyone after Amanda Smith returned.
There is something even more desperate in this world than her leaving, and that is her not loving him.
She would rather die than love him.
He clenched his teeth tightly but couldn't stop the wails that spilled from his throat, sounding like a beast trapped in dire straits, making anyone who heard feel desperate.
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