Chereads / Bizarre Happenings after a Golden Blessing. / Chapter 3 - I'd never guess you were a hero

Chapter 3 - I'd never guess you were a hero

Chapter Three

A white van sped onto the freeway. Recklessly cutting in between traffic and showing no signs of slowing down. Three cop cars weren't far behind, chasing the van down as they swerved through the streets making precarious tricks and turns to gain on them. Whoever these people were, they were skilled.

"Faster! Make it go faster!" Bellowed the Lizard freak.

"I'm already going as fast as I can!" The Bear freak yelled.

"Take the next left!" The chicken freak directed.

'Oh, my head, Just kill me now.' Thought the freak freak.

Who are you calling a freak!? What did I even do to deserve any of this? All I wanted to do was make an honest living tricking people into eating at Jack in the Cube and now look at me. Stuck in the middle of a high-speed death chase. Doesn't this make me an accomplice to their robbery? No, besides just sitting in the van what have I really done? It's not like I have any of the money they took. I should be fine!

"Hey, ghost man, take this and put it in the bag."

The lizard freak shoved 5 bands of money into my arms.

Ok now I'm probably screwed. I put the money into the empty Jason bag that the bear made and curled up into a ball. How am I supposed to get out of this situation? My heart started to beat rapidly as a cold sweat formed on my forehead.

'It's all over.'

Looking at this ragtag team of bank robbers I had little chance of escaping without being brutally mauled. They probably wouldn't even be able to escape the cops, much more the heroes. In a world of superheroes and villains there was little need for things like street level cops. Whenever a crime like a bank robbery or a bomb threat occurred a hero association would put it up as a job with a rank and a certain amount of money behind it. A hero would take it up and come to the scene. Even though it was a bank robbery a job like this should only be D-rank considering the amount of money taken and the people doing it.

Between the time it would take for a crime to be reported, the rank and job to be put up, a hero to take the job and appear at the scene was all about ten minutes. That might sound like a long time but on average, thanks to the supreme training all heroes receive on how to use their powers in the academy, it only took on average around five minutes to deal with the situation. The cops only served to make sure that the criminals didn't slip away easily. That was the only purpose they served now, just people who stopped petty theft and kept tabs on the villain's location.

If things continued the way they were going a D-rank hero would show up and I'd probably get arrested without any resistance, or even worse I could accidentally suffer life-altering injuries.

'There's no way I'm going to be brutally beaten for a crime I didn't even commit.'

I naturally used my power to calm myself and stood up with the two bags in my hand. Right now my plan was to hope the cops catch these fools and explain my situation to them. I sat up holding the food and money bags in my hand.

"Where are we going?" I gathered up my courage and asked the skinny chicken mask guy with the tech modifications on his body. He looked like some kind of cyborg chicken.

The Bear freak was busy driving and the Lizard freak just seemed like an idiot. This person seemed to be the smartest one out of all of them and he was also the least intimidating, so I asked him.

"You already forgot? We were given specific instructions to carefully memorize all of this beforehand!" A voice that sounded like it came out of a shredder reprimanded me. I think I'm starting to grasp the situation now. These guys probably think that I'm their partner. Judging by the fact that we're all still wearing masks and that they didn't recognize the unfamiliarity in my voice, it's safe to say they don't actually know each other's identities and were just temporarily teaming up for this job. In that case playing along is probably the best option. I had a feeling that things wouldn't end well if they were to find that I wasn't the person they thought I was.

I glanced at the Lizard freak's bulging muscles and suppressed my dark thoughts.

"I'm sorry. It slipped my mind just tell me again."

"Why do you even need to know? It's not like your driving."

"Well, isn't it better if we all understand the plan."

"That's why I told you to memorize it!" The chicken freak bellowed.

"To be honest I forgot it too." The lizard freak grumbled.

The chicken freak sighed, obviously exasperated. The lizard's lack of intelligence worked in my favor here.

"I'll repeat this one last time," He raised five fingers. "Step One: Lizard breaks through the back of the bank with exactly $5,000 taken from the vault, no more no less. Step Two: We lose the cops and head to the designated drop off area. Step three: We collect the reward and go our separate ways. Get it? Our employer made that pretty clear."

Their employer? It guess it does make sense that they didn't come up with this kind of operation on their own. It seemed a little unlikely that a team with such terrible chemistry would even be able to get to this point. Why would anyone with enough money to pay people to rob banks want to hire these guys? There's probably a reason their employer chose incompetent people to carry out this mission, maybe they wanted a suitable distraction for something bigger? Either way it doesn't have anything to do with me.

They're as good as caught. Although I said that the police were just people who kept track of the criminals, that didn't mean they weren't good at it. Ever since the "Golden Blessing" many of the inventors on earth received powers that allowed them to smash the limits of science and technical advancements, soaring far beyond what mankind was previously capable of. From flying motorcycles to handheld railguns, all of law enforcement saw a drastic improvement in equipment. There was practically no chance of evading the cops unless you had an espionage ability or an incredibly well-thought-out escape plan. We didn't have a lot of time before a hero arrived and after that they had no chance of getting away. This plan was destined for failure from the beginning.

"S-so how are we going to evade the cops? If we don't get away soon a hero will arrive." I acted concerned for now.

"We'll just drive evasively. I used my power to enhance this car so we can keep a good amount of distance between us and them. As for the heroes? If they come In time we'll just defeat them like we planned and make our escape."

Huh? That's a joke. It must be a joke, right? There's no way that this chicken bot guy's being serious right. I looked around the van to gauge the other two's reactions.

"I can't wait to sink my teeth into that hero scum!" The Lizard freak let out a chilling aura as he drooled all over the place.

"Be patient Lizard, we'll have our stab at em." The Bear grinned.

They're actually serious about this. They really plan to face a hero head on. A D ranked hero is nothing to scoff at. To put it into perspective, one D rank hero is required to be able to take care of 2 elephants on their own with ease. They have a psychopathic lizard with negligible super strength compared to two elephants, a bear that can clone things, a chicken that can upgrade things and me the guy that can make himself cry on command. If they fight that hero when he arrives the best-case scenario is them going to prison in cuffs and not in stretchers.

These people aren't even psychopathic anymore they're just brain dead. I definitely won't be able to explain anything with these freaks trying to fight a hero. Even worse I might get caught up in the fight. The only way for me to escape this is to discretely slip away whenever the first chance to presents itself.

"Hey Chicken, We've got a small problem up here." The bear freak spoke up.

"What is it?" The chicken leaned back from his laptop and tried to peer out the front windshields.

Up the road sat a large barricade, around six to ten police cruisers, and a spike trap barring the entrance to the bridge that connected us the island. There there was no way to avoid the barricade unless we blasted straight through which wouldn't be possible with this old van. I grabbed onto the side of the van and braced for the deacceleration, but it never came. On the contrary, the bear freak only sped up.

"What the-" I could only mutter those words as the van suddenly hit neck breaking speeds and I was sent tumbling to the back hitting my back against the vans floor. This crappy old van shouldn't be capable of this kind of speed. Looking over I could see that the chicken had his eyes closed while his hands were "plugged" into the van.

"His ability must have had something to do with it." I thought as I tried to sit back up. Instantly I was thrown back down as the van gained even more speed as metal wings sprouted out of the vans sides and we slowly lifted of the ground. I felt lightheaded and my stomach churned. Even though my power made sure I didn't freak out the same couldn't be said for my body. I desperately held back puke as we slowly took the skies and soared over the barricade gaining a substantial amount of ground. If we continued at this speed, even if they called in airborne reinforcements, they'd never be able to catch up. We didn't stay in the sky for long though, right after we passed over the barricade we crashed right back down onto the bridge. It seemed the chicken's ability was a little bit stronger than I thought. He was able to upgrade this old piece of junk to the level of a small plane. Albeit for a few seconds.

"We're in the home stretch now!" The bear yelled excitedly as we sped down the now empty bridge thanks to the barricade.

"When we cross the bridge the drop-off point should be in the parking garage right around the corner!" The chicken sighed like he was relived.

Somethings wrong. I'm not sure how I knew, it was like there was an intrinsic felling of dread welling up in my soul, but I knew that we hadn't escaped yet.

Thinking about it, wasn't that way too easy. Sure, we surprised them by flying over the barricade but they still could've used their weapons to fire at us and now that were in a clear open space with no people isn't the perfect place to target us without risking casualties.

It almost felt like-

BOOM

A loud rumble rung out as something crashed ahead of the van. The bear slammed on the brakes throwing us all to the ground and just barely stopping before it was too late. The crater smoldered with smoke as two figures slowly faded into visibility through the windshield.

"How many times do I have to ask you to watch the landing! I could've gotten hurt." Whined a small, mousy voice.

"Calm down. An impact like that couldn't possibly leave a scratch on us! We're both D-class heroes after all! Beware villains! The heroes Metalloid Monarch and their sidekick Time-Stop guy have arrived!!"

"I'm not your sidekick and I did NOT agree to those names, stop saying that!"

As the smoke settled a person in slick chrome armor came into view, in their arms was what looked like a small child. I recognized them immediately even without the tin can's strange self-exposition. They were two young new heroes that had recently rose to fame through their strong teamwork and charismatic dynamic. I saw them being interviewed while watching T.V one morning, The tin can one had the power of super intelligence while the small one had the ability to slow down and speed up time.

It honestly doesn't matter anymore. Now's my chance to just turn myself and minimize the damage. I picked myself up of the floor of the van and open the back.

"You're starting immediately? Alright, remember everyone stick to the pla-"

I shut the van and jumped straight out. There was no point in listening to their nonsense anymore. I peeked my hands outside the side of the van and slowly steeped out.

"Oh! What's this!? Look Time Stop Man! They're already conceding!"

"Stop calling me that. I can't even stop time," The pipsqueak whined, "also don't believe him so easily, it could be a trap."

"I can assure you that it's not." I quickly chipped in, can't have them getting suspicious and applying unnecessary "force."

"This is all just a misunderstanding, I'm actually a hostage. These crazy guys kidnapped me and I've been looking for an opportunity to slip away. Which would be right now."

The pipsqueak tilted his head and looked at me with suspicion.

"Alright, we'll believe you." The pipsqueak looked at his tin can friend and silently urged him. The tin can raised its arms and shot out purple handcuffs that landed at my feet. Power nullifying cuffs made from amethyst and infused with a special element only available after the Golden blessing, Lucian. They absorbed all impacts and were nearly indestructible. The only thing capable of unlocking a pair was its own key. Well, it's not like my power was doing me any favors anyways.

"Put those on and walk over here slowly."

Like he said I snapped the cuffs on and walked over to them. Thanks to the power nullification of the cuffs my calm state vanished as my adrenalin started to surge and my heartbeat quickened.

"You said you were kidnapped?" The pipsqueak asked as I reached them.

"That's right, there was really nothing I could have done."

"That's weird then, If you really were kidnapped then how come their just giving you up without a hint of resistance?"

"Isn't it obvious that their just afraid of us? Ha, they're probably in there quaking in their boots."

"Well, I'm pretty sure their planning something involving the parking garage around the corner over there." I ignored the tin can's boasting and tried to be as helpful as possible.

Just as they both turned their bodies to look.

THWACK

A blur of green passed by me as the pipsqueak was suddenly sent flying by the lizard. It was to sudden for me to even react. I turned around and saw the bear leaning out of the driver side window.

"Way to go with that distraction! You even almost fooled us!"

Distraction? Is that the plan nonsense the chicken freak was talking about?!

"Wow. A distraction huh? You sure fooled me." The Tin can chuckled menacingly.

"It's a misunderstanding-"

"Save your breath, I've heard enough to understand." They scowled and raised their arm, which turned itself into a cannon in seconds, to my face.

"Nobody touches my sidekick and lives. Goodbye." They spat.

I fell to my but and covered shielded myself with my hands. Wait a sec, for some reason this feels familiar? Oh yeah, this is similar to the event of how I got my powers. How'd I get out of it then?

The tin can's laser surged with a purple glow as they prepared to take the shot. In a fit of desperation I lunged at them and was met with solid cold metal.

"Hah! What did you hope to achieve with that pathetic display? Just die already you scum."

"With the way you're talking, I'd never guess you're a hero."

"What-" The tin can looked down but it was already too late.

Click

All Lucian handcuffs had a neat function where an electric shock could be emitted though a remote device the owner would usually carry on their person.

Guess what I happened to see on the tin can's hip when I launched that useless attack.

"You idiot! Get off Well, both get electrocuted-"

I shoved the handcuffs into one of the groves of their armor and cranked up the dial on the remote. I would be electrocuted sure, but the idea was to short-circuit their armor.

Zap

A horribly numbing yet searingly painful surge ran through my body. As we both shrieked in pain. The shock emitted wasn't meant to be lethal but thanks to the fact that I was basically a normal human, and the tin can was in metal armor it hurt like crazy. After around the seconds the shock finally stopped. I dropped to the ground as my body had become numb. Meanwhile the tin can continued to shake even after the shock was over. I looked on as they shook violently and fell to the floor, motionless.

"How was that!?" I spat weakly yet still at a volume where it could be heard.

They offered no response and just laid there limp. I began to get worried.

"Hey, no smart comments?" No response.

I limped over and lifted their arm. No resistance. Suddenly, a mechanical voice chimed out as I jumped back in fear.

"Seizure detected. Heartrate drastically decreasing. Retinas severely damaged. Chance of death if treatment is not immediately received is 78.6%"

S#*!

Death!?