Evelyn Crawford chuckled, "I do envy her, but it's not jealousy."
Envy and jealousy are not the same.
Jealousy is a narrowness of heart that brings imbalance and breeds malice.
But envy acknowledges one's own shortcomings and strives to improve oneself.
She admitted that she was not as good as Amanda Jenkins, despite having only met her a few times.
Amanda Jenkins was a radiant woman, her every frown and smile brimming with positivity, especially those clear eyes when she smiled, seemingly able to embrace all the sins of the world.
But what about herself?
She had murdered countless people, her hands soaked with sickening blood.
A staunch soldier like Jasper Bollock would naturally prefer a radiant woman like Amanda Jenkins.
Having already betrayed the organization and her grandmother for Jasper Bollock, she would "wash her hands in a golden basin" from now on and strive to become a woman whom Jasper would acknowledge.
