Don't Let This Be the Ending

Chapter 1: Is this the end?

Do you know what's the hardest thing about goodbyes? 

It is when you 'have to' even if you don't want to.

***

It was a joyous moment. Finally, a hero emerged victorious against evil and saved the world from the impending doom that is brought by the Demon King Behemoth. He had slain the enemy of mankind! An event that is worthy of a celebration or that it was supposed to be one…

The dark clouds started to dissipate and after a very long time, the world finally saw the first ray of sunlight glaring from the sky hinting the end of humanity's misery, but no one was clapping. There's no one left to cheer for surviving the world's possible extinction except for the person that made it happen.

In the vast desolate land, where the previous mountains and formations flattened due to the war, piles of humans and monsters' corpses scattered like pebbles on the ground. Not a single soul can be seen except for a limping man, dragging his injured right leg towards a cave. Drawing a long line painted in red starting from the humongous monster's head pointing to an area that barely escapes the insane pressure of their colliding forces during the final battle.

The man was greeted by the sound of droplets dripping from the stalactites hanging on the roof of the cave. As soon as he reached the rock in the corner a loud thud was heard. The man in his wretched state, suddenly drops on his knees as if all his fatigue just rushed into him. He clutched his hand into a fist when he saw the ghastly looking girl staring quietly at the ceiling, lost in her own world. The brewing storm of emotions filled with fear, anger and regret was so vivid in his face.

Livan hastily flipped his storage bag, dropping the remaining materials from his inventory. It was only due to the sudden noise that the girl realizes that there was another person beside her. Livan grabbed all the herbs and potions he can get and poured it on the girl's wound without even asking her. He was also not in a good condition, but he was more determined to save her that he did it without a plan of stopping. Overtime, his jaw clenches and the protruding veins became more visible as the unbearable emotion that eats him heightened. His eyes grew darker seeing that nothing's happening. Her condition is only getting worse by the minute.

"Just heal your wounds. Don't waste your potions on me. The attack was laced with demonic energy, and it already penetrated deep inside my body… Even a divine blessing wouldn't work now," she was calm, but her eyes are already losing its light. The burning sensation that left her insides' churning feeling was the only thing that makes her conscious. The pain was intolerable that she feels like being torn apart into pieces, but she already came this far. She didn't know if it's a blessing or a curse to even come to this point and being able to talk to the man. She finds it funny that of all people, the last person she will see is the man who always fights with her.

"Ahk!" The girl coughs out a mouthful of blood. The visible dark coloration of her contaminated blood can be seen by the naked eye. She already knew that she was a loss case but when Livan saw the lady's condition, the last straw of hope within him shattered.

"Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!" He continued to pour the potions on her. They were the items he collected over the years of putting his life into killing monsters. With just those potion bottles and herbs he could buy a kingdom and live in luxury but today he was draining them on her like water without care. He didn't give a damn about himself in this situation! The bottles piled up and formed a small tower beside him. "Don't ever think for a second that I won't let you die this easy!" Livan gripped the bottle in his hand tightly. It was the last bottle he had…

"Please, stop… It's useless." Her soft voice crack in the middle of her sentence. It's already painful as it is but seeing the man's actions just made it hard for her. It's useless now!

"Trash!" Livan can only grit his teeth as he crushes the empty bottle in his hand.

What's the point of collecting these junks if they can't heal?!

"Why are so adamant on saving me? We're not even friends." She doesn't understand him at all.

Blood trickled from his palm, but all he can see is her. His reddened eyes look at the girl with so much resentment.

"W-why…?" Livan wanted to act tough but his trembling voice crack giving him away. "You're asking me why?!" He cursed under his breath.

"You said it yourself! We're not even friends so, why did you have to save me, Avielle?!" The tears he tried to keep and the emotions he tried to control even when he had no choice but to continue fighting off the monsters while thinking about her, stream down like a river without any sign of stopping. 

'Why did I even tried so hard to defeat that goddamn thing if I wouldn't be able to save you? Damn it all!'

"I never ask you to take that bastard's strike! Who the hell told you to save me?!" He punches the hard ground to let out his frustrations as he questions her decision of taking the attack that was meant for him out of the blue.

'I just wanted to free you from this hell. So, why did you willingly use your body as a shield for me instead?'

Avielle was about to say something when she started to cough out blood again. Her face twitched in pain, but she still managed to look straight at him. She raises her hand trying to reach the man's face to wipe his tears. Why is he crying for her? He's so unpredictable. "I don't know… My body… Just moved on its own..." Her voice was so weak that it almost became a whisper. Her complexion was so pale and her lips turning blue.

"J-just why…?" He closed his eyes tightly before bowing his head in defeat.

"Why do you… always make me through so much pain?" He slowly succumbs to the despair in his heart while feeling the gentle touch of her hand with much longing. He never felt so weak not even when he battled against the demon king. But whenever this girl is involved, every wall he painstakingly built crumbles for a reason.

Sometimes it only takes a just a single moment to break your walls and let all the pain that once drown you resurface. Livan felt someone gripping his heart so tight.

'Do you even know what you did to me? You abandoned me, yet I still waited for you to come back only to find out that you wanted me gone. Are those… are those years we shared together mean nothing to you? To discard all our memories and act as if you never knew who I was... Do I mean nothing to you at all?' He couldn't even say the things he hid deep in his heart. His eyes were shut tightly while tears keep on finding a way to escape and fall.

'It feels unfair to know that I always think of you, but you don't think of me at all,'

The girl silently listens at the wailing man that is grasping her hand like it was his lifeline. She didn't understand why her heart aches to him like this.

Maybe because he was always so strong and brave? Avielle almost forgot that he's still a human capable of feeling. It's hard to believe that she's witnessing someone as strong as him breaking down in front of her and the impact is just too great to even influence her.

"Why are you always making me feel this way!? It was so unfair how you treated me like I never existed! I tried to hate you---no, I planned to never forgive you and remain on hating you forever for all the pain you made me through! So, why did you have to play hero now and put your life on the line for me? Now that I made up my decision to make you regret what you did; who will I get back at if you're going to leave me like this again without even paying for all the hurt you've cause me?!" Livan can only shout his resentment… To her and to himself…

"I-I'm sorry," her mind is becoming hazy, but his words are as clear as the day. A lot of their companions died during the battle but why is he only like this to her? Do they even have a deep connection prior to the campaign to make him this emotional? It's true that she caused him some troubles and they hate each other's guts but isn't that also the same with other people he mingled with?

She had no recollection of meeting him before the monster surge. It was also true that she tried to avoid being with him whenever there was a chance because he always makes her feel uneasy. She cannot deny that sometimes there are things that doesn't make sense to her. She feels that something is missing but she was afraid to uncover it. What if it was something painful, something she intentionally hid to escape from? She decided not to delve on it in fear of losing herself. Avielle suddenly feels so much regret. If only she was brave enough, strong enough, she would've opened the pandora's box and meet him there.

"Do you think a little sorry would suffice…?" Livan felt ridiculous hearing her little sorry. "Ha! I don't really know why I'm still hoping." He covered his face with his other hand and laugh wryly. How can she be so cruel without even trying?

"I feel bad because I never thought that you feel that way." She was reminded of her attitude towards him and somehow felt that it was uncalled for. They are comrades in arms she should've treated him better. "Ah, I wish we had better memories so I could take them with me in the afterlife." She was trying to lighten up the mood, but Livan couldn't help but feel angry at her words.

'How long are you going to act like you don't know me? I know we ended up things like you wanted but how can you still pretend even in the brink of death…!' He was furious. He felt pathetic as fuck! He's the only one clinging on her… on their memories… on their love…

He knew it all along.