Eliza's days are getting more and more insane, not only does she have to cry over the heartache and pain caused by Karan's behaviour in bed. Eliza's mental health also suffered. She had to endure a lot of feelings that no one else understood.
After marriage, Eliza's world was all about fulfilling her husband's desires without rejection. However, since that night Karan no longer gave vent to Eliza's desires. I don't know what happened, that Karan left his wife untouched.
Poor Eliza, although she did not like the way Karan touched her body forcefully. However, not being touched at all left her body empty.
"Is Karan still acting like he used to before?" asked Zoe that afternoon as the two spent time at a café.
Eliza shrugged her shoulders, "It's been a while since he touched me, I don't know. But it's better than me enduring the pain of his behaviour."
"I knew it, Eliza. Karan is not a good man, every word he says is just a ploy to gain your sympathy."
Zoe was right, Eliza had been deceived by Karan's kindness which was in fact fake. It was all done just to win Eliza's sympathy to agree to marry him. After the marriage, Karan had only left a legacy of pain, not making his wife happy.
Either his heart was right, or Zoe's words were right. Indeed, Eliza's pain was caused by Karan's betrayal, a man who made no effort to understand her heart. Instead, he forced Eliza to agree to this betrayal.
On the one hand, she also feels grateful that there is a man who is willing to accept her. At a time when many people stayed away because of her past. However, on the other hand, she felt that the person who hurt her did not use her heart and only cared about satisfaction.
"I loved him, Zoe. Is it my fault? Is my love wrong for him? No, my love is not wrong."
"Your love is not wrong, but you are putting your heart and love in the wrong place. You shouldn't have used your heart to have a relationship with that bastard. Look now! Your heart got hurt and he dumped you just like that."
"No, Zoe. Karan just lost his way, his heart isn't really in it. I'm sure he'll come back to me, sooner or later."
"Don't be so sure, you'll hurt your heart."
Eliza was silent for a moment as she sipped the cup of coffee she had ordered, it tasted bitter. But not as bitter as her love journey with Karan. To her, the bitterness of the coffee she sipped was nothing compared to the hurt she felt.
What Zoe said was true, Eliza was too blinded by her love for Karan. That love made her numb and made her accept all the mistakes made by Karan.
However, Eliza's feelings of love were not wrong either. Eliza's love for Karan. So much so that she had no love left for herself. Although Karan didn't realise it, she only believed that one day he would come back to her.
"So, what are you going to do now, El?"
"Stay with Karan, whatever he does I won't stop him. I'll just go about my routine, leave him to his."
"Even though your heart hurts? Even though you witnessed the betrayal in front of your own eyes?"
Eliza nodded, "sometimes we have to sacrifice for love, Zoe. We only have two choices, leave or let the person we love go."
Zoe was silent, she didn't understand the meaning of Eliza's statement.
"I'm not leaving, Karan's not leaving me either. He's just doing what he likes, but not letting me go. Then, why look for a lot of trouble. For, leaving him will only cause me more pain."
Indeed, love does not give many reasons to endure. Despite the many wounds inflicted, Eliza maintained her love for Karan. She was just looking for an escape outside not to find a replacement, just an outlet.
Zoe did not understand what Eliza had in mind. The pain Karan gave her was already a big reason for her to leave him. However, Eliza did not take the opportunity to leave Karan's side, she stayed with all the feelings that made her hurt.
"Have you gone mad, El? And your relationship with Doctor Sean?"
Eliza chuckled, "What relationship? I don't have any relationship with Sean. He's just helping me to treat the wound on my private parts caused by my unhealthy relationship with Karan."
"Is that all? Didn't you say that Sean is a man who..."
Eliza silenced Zoe's mouth before she could say anything else. Remembering what happened that afternoon with doctor Sean would certainly be a boomerang for Eliza.
I don't know how a relationship starts and how it ends. Her heart was already in love with Karan, but she also felt comfortable with Doctor Sean. Eliza didn't know how to explain these feelings.
At the moment, Eliza's only feeling is that she can't let go of Karan. However, she is also not averse to the attention that Doctor Sean is giving her. Attention that she didn't get from Karan.
"El, you can't have two men at the same time. You are a married woman. Don't create a scandal with Doctor Sean just for your own interest. It will only hurt him."
"Who am I hurting? I have no one to hurt, Sean is willing to do everything for me. Then, what's wrong?"
"Have you gone mad?"
"If Karan can be crazy to me, why can't I be crazier than him. It's not my fault for doing this, it's because he asked me to agree to his rules."
What kind of marriage is this? Zoe didn't understand what was going on in Eliza's marriage to Karan. They were just tying the knot, but their hearts were not connected to each other.
Both professing love for each other, but both hurting their own hearts. They don't let each other go, but they don't bind each other either. There was a meaning that Zoe did not understand, but Eliza did not explain in detail either.
"So, how is your relationship with Karan now?"
"We only live under the same roof, but we live our own lives. I haven't slept in the same bed with him for a long time, I don't care about that."
"Then, how is your relationship with Doctor Sean?"
"A relationship that is more special than just friends. He's my personal doctor, but he's also a friend who can warm my body when I'm lonely."
Eliza spoke as if the relationship between her and Doctor Sean was simple and ordinary despite her status as Karan's legal wife. She did not feel that she was betraying Karan or taking advantage of Doctor Sean.
Both Karan and Eliza enjoy their relationship, and Doctor Sean doesn't care about the status of his relationship with Eliza. He only knew that Eliza needed him, and vice versa.
"El, why did you go crazy after marrying Karan?"
"Because I loved my husband, I was crazy because of him. So, I vented my madness on something that made me much better."
Zoe shook her head. The Eliza who was currently with her was no longer the Eliza of her close friends, who knows what poison Karan had given Eliza. So that Eliza's heart was closed to accept the truth and realise her mistakes.
"Don't play around with marriage, El. You know marriage has a beautiful and sacred meaning. You and Karan are playing with the meaning of marriage, not solving your problems."
"Listen, Zoe. I don't have a choice right now, parting ways with Karan would tarnish the value of what marriage should be. So, I'm sticking to my guns even if I have to act shamefully."
"How long is this going to last, El?"
"I don't know!"