Devu arrived while I was seated in the hall, contemplating watching TV. Her demeanor suggested she was deliberating whether or not to join me. She placed her hand on the chair opposite me.
"Aren't you sleeping?"
She responded with a casual shrug.
"I'm afraid to be alone there..."
She hesitated before speaking.
"Afraid? Why?"
"I don't know. I wasn't accustomed to sleeping alone in the past. Even when my father was around, I used to sleep with him. Then..."
She seemed hesitant to elaborate.
"And when my father isn't there, I sleep in the neighboring house. I don't fear anything there. I don't even know who comes and goes. Kavya from the other house and I used to study together. But recently they moved away."
She halted in frustration.
"My mother always clashed with them. She consistently berated them. That poor girl and her mother never said anything in return. But my mother would say hurtful things. It's a relief they left. They'll find some peace..."
She concluded her thoughts without further prompting and looked at my face. She appeared embarrassed to find me gazing at her.
"Oh Nandu, go watch TV... I've been rambling..."
"If you can't sleep, stay here..."
She took a seat across from me.
"Nandu, lie down in that room. I'll settle on the floor. Otherwise, I won't be able to sleep."
I nodded in agreement.
"I used to be afraid of sleeping alone in that house. I would only sleep there when my father was with me. I grew accustomed to it with him. I won't cry tonight. I'll gather the courage to sleep..."
I chuckled upon hearing her speak. How innocent her words were... Like a lotus in the mud. A pure lotus in the midst of that troubled family.
"Why are you laughing?"
"It's not just you, everyone from my mom to brother is a fan of yours..."
She didn't quite grasp what I meant and took a seat.
"What did your father do?"
"He was a laborer. He'd take on any kind of work. Day or night, he didn't mind. Even if you asked him what the job entailed, he wouldn't really know."
"So, even your friends don't know much about you?"
"No, that's not what I meant. I'm afraid if they find out about my situation, they might distance themselves. Don't you think they'd treat me differently being from a family like mine..."
Though her mind was innocent, I felt she was much more thoughtful than me.
"Did you meet Anju?"
"Mm..."
"When I saw you walking behind me with your friend the other day, I thought you were going to ask her about me..."
She said with a wry smile. I responded with a bitter laugh.
"She's my best friend in college. She knows everything about me. I told her not to mention anything to you."
In my heart, I acknowledged her as a good person.
She went on to share every detail about Anju and their friendship. It was captivating to listen to. This was the first time a girl had spoken to me so openly.
Perhaps the love didn't work out because of cricket. I was merely a listener in front of Devu. I sensed that this girl had the ability to talk and captivate anyone. How could one feel so connected to a woman who harbored so much hatred? I didn't need to ask her many questions to understand her better. She was revealing everything without even realizing it.
Eventually, she paused. After a stretch of earlier silence, she turned to me and asked, "Isn't Nandu still angry with me?"
I had no answer to that question. In truth, it was the same question I had been wrestling with internally.
A voice in my mind whispered that it was a sentiment for which I didn't have a clear answer. It wasn't love, not entirely. At times, it was pity, or perhaps it was my own lingering sense of inferiority. But why was it so hard to trust her even now? It felt like a multitude of incomprehensible questions were flashing through my mind.
"I know Nandu still doesn't trust me. Didn't I come into your life from such a circumstance..."
The remaining tears streamed down her cheeks. I had no words to offer solace. I sat in silence. She quietly retreated into the room. I couldn't tell how long I remained seated there. When I finally entered the room, she was lying on the floor as usual. She looked peacefully asleep. I watched her like that for a long while, and eventually, I too drifted into slumber.
To be continued...