First of all, I want to warn people with vulnerable feelings that I don't recommend this content.
These are difficult situations from any point of view.
There are many violent moments that would affect some people.
But, necessary to get to know me.
Since, it spans, from my upbringing.
The one that was given to me, the one inherited from my grandparents and the one that I, as a mother, have given to my children.
The views of myself as a child, to my adult self.
I apologize in advance.
It's not easy to dig through the tangle of memories to put the puzzle together.
Started.
His mother, a self-sacrificing woman, always believing in her marriage, a divorce, in those times was so frowned upon that she preferred to continue her marriage, her ordeal, and that of all her children.
He had many.
She worked cleaning houses and cooking for a well-resourced family.
That they helped him and brought him things from EL PASO, a neighboring city in the UNITED STATES.
They lived in a continuous cycle of calm, alcohol, pregnancy, anger, mistreatment, violence, beatings of their mother, my father, being the eldest son, being a child, defending their mother...
I ended up getting beaten too, if my grandfather's anger didn't go away, he would beat the others too.
Which is what a child who lives a cycle like this does, every year of his life.
With the anguish of dying to grow.
To become a man, to break the cycle.
What every abuser forgets is that...
Children grow up.
They become strong, they learn to overcome their fears.
His pain is marked, tattooed in every corner of his body.
There always comes a time that, although sometimes it takes a while, always comes.
The moment when the son overcomes his father's strength and stops him.
That's what happened once.
My father, being very young, found his father beating his mother again.
She fought with him to stop him.
And my grandfather.
Being the coward he always was, he pulled out a knife and threatened him.
My data is not fully accurate.
My mother told me the facts.
Things my father once confided in him.
Angry, my grandfather left, only to go back to the police.
He accused his son of wanting to kill him.
The police wanted to take him away, the anguish of his little brothers surprised the police.
They hugged their brother by the legs and in every way possible.
They wept and begged the law not to take him away.
If they did, they would have no one to defend them and no one to feed them.
Those policemen took pity on the family, they asked my grandmother to denounce her husband.
When he sees himself cornered and she is intimidated, as always.
He fled.
To start a new cycle.
Life as a parent is not easy.
But, life as children is not either.
While times have changed and conditions have improved for most, it has not been for everyone.