The world shifted beneath her feet and soon she was lifted. Alexandra felt her stomach twist and spin and suddenly she was smacked down hard against a wood floor. She coughed spit and tried to regain her breath, as if her ribs were crushed.
The blindfold on her head kept her from seeing anything.
Alexandra didn't beg. She didn't cry. She stayed as still as possible, trying to not appear afraid. But the way her hands trembled gave it away.
The hands held her body to the ground and before she knew it the floor was moving. Carriage. Or a cart?
She needed to get out. She ran her finger up the mans arm hoping he would let go or take pity on her. He loosened his grip on her shoulders. His breathing.
Alexandra knew the situation she was in right there. She heard talk from maids about her duties as a woman, what men thought of her, how ugly it was the way they glanced at a child.
Now alone with a man, Alexandra understood their comments. Understood their worries, understood their fear. She knew what they all spoke of, their experiences. She let it all happen biting her cheek, just like the maids told her.
-
The men talked, smoking cigarettes on the edge of the carriage. Alexandra's hands and feet were bound and she sat pushed into the corner. Her mouth was stuffed with a rag but they took her blindfold off. The stars were heavy above them, taking up every space in the air. The men laughed together, sharing a beer and kicking their butts to take the spark out of the cigarette.
"How lucky Randy." One said. The one from earlier. Alexandra shuddered. "Good job."
"I was stalking her for months, thinking, 'would it work? Would I able to?' And here we are!" He laughed a burly laugh, deep from his throat. Alexandra fiddled with her hand-ties.
"Well, now we have a good sum coming for us. Think, a girl like her in Casalovia, she would do well." Casalovia?
They kept on talking, nothing registering in Alexandra's head. Casalovia. In her lessons, she was taught basic geography of her surroundings, where cities were and where she was. Casalovia was a city of the coast, furthest from her families domain. A city filled with alleys, hidden walkways and buildings older than the empiral family, too dangerous for newcomers.
She would never come home if they made it to Casalovia.
Alexandra felt dread. Felt fear. Everything began to spin: How would she go home? How could she get out now? These men were bigger and stronger than her with weapons.
Weapons.
It was as if all her thoughts stopped at once. Everything became clear. At church, Alexandra was taught murder was the biggest blasphemy in the universe, and if she was to commit, Azta, the supreme leader, would sentence her to absolute darkness in the lowest pits of the Arcea.
She hoped Azta would forgive her. Forgive her for her grave sin. But maybe it wouldn't matter, because she has seen what Azta allows,
and maybe He would allow this too.
-
The carriage was desolute as Alexandra leaped from the back. Her hands were red with blood, the tattered dress she wore the day she was missing, soaked through with stains. The pink ruffles and bows broken and torn. Scratches along her legs and arms.
Alexandra moved slow along the river bank, leaving the carriage behind together with the bodies of the men. She tried to move fast as her legs trembled, her insides twisted but she kept moving so if they had allies, she wouldn't be caught.
Alexandra twisted through bushlines and through trees, twigs getting caught on her dress and snapping her legs and arms.
Her red hair was chopped off in strands by the kidnappers to leave a false trail, to give the impersonation she was dead, and so Alexandra was missing parts of her dress and her long, red hair which reached her tailbone, was now barely touching her shoulder.
The tickle of her hair brushing her face made her blink, and from the blinking she realized her exhaustion. She toppled, her small body refused to carry her farther than this.
She was in the middle of the forest and as she lie back on the ground, feeling the cold from the grass tickle her shoulders, she felt truly helpless.
The pink ruffles stained with blood, pushing against the tall grass, the prick of bugs biting her skin and the sound of frogs creaking in the distance brought her a sad peace. I want momma. Alexandra let out a low sob.
The young girl layed in the tall grass, a hand over her mouth stiffling her cries. All she could think of was her need to be with her mom, the sad and desperate need to not be alone. I want papa. More cries. She didn't know when or how, but Alexandra had cried herself to sleep, staring at the dark sky, counting the stars and the fireflies, not knowing which one was right or wrong because both shined brilliantly.
-
Cesare studied Alexandra as she told them her past. She said it was hard to talk about, that she was ashamed and feared for acceptance. His parent's listened with intent, the duchess holding back sobs, the duke clenching a hand in a fist of rage.
Alexandra was like their daughter. They raised her from when she was young to be Cesare's wife, and were in close relation to her parents. She frequently visited the duchess in her earlier days and commonly played with Johanson, she had met Esmeray as a baby.
The duchess reached across and touched Alexandra's thin hand, the way she flinched made Cesare's heart clench.
The duke and duchess promised Alexandra a space in the upper corridor, closest to Johanson's bedroom. Here, Alexandra would have access to neccessities and the main stairs.
She settled in to her bedroom, putting on a silk nightgown from her luggage that Felix required be brought up to her room while he spoke to the duke.
"You're not having a bath, Lady?" A maid asked. Konnie.
"No, not tonight. Can you stop by tomorrow morning to help me?" Alexandra asked. She smiled a warm and bright smile to the maid, who blushed before shaking her head yes.
Alexandra plopped on her bed after the maid left and closed the door. The room filled with darkness but the constant shine from the moon through the glass doors and windows of her balcony gave light.
The shadows of the funiture in the room reminded her of a past. A past that wasn't hers. Her heart started to beat.
She didn't feel relaxed. Anxious. The future was uncertain, her position here felt unnatural, as if she was in danger.
Maybe she was.