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Chapter 27 - Kolya

Werner and Nikolai sat on the wooden bench. Werner had found the lonely bench on one of his strolls through the cursed city, and he'd remembered its wherabouts simply because it was the only bench that was so clearly misplaced. It was behind a building that had no doors to that side, so it couldn't have been meant for a place to sit and smoke on a break, and the view from the bench was the ugly fence. It wasn't a watchpoint either, there were no towers around. But even for it's poor location, it was the perfect place to sit and relax when there was nothing else to do and you wanted to be alone with your thoughts and your pack of cheap cigarettes. 

"You seemed pretty angry, Nikolai."

"Call me Kolya." 

"Kolya? That sounds even more Russian!" Werner said in surprise. Hadn't Nikolai just shouted at him to never say he sounded or looked russian again? 

"It's the nickname for Nikolai." He exxplained. "My family and friends call me back. I can't do anything for the fact that my name sounds Russian, but if you're already going to call me by it, you might as well use my nickname." He flipped the pack of cigarettes open. "Though I'd appreciate it if you called me 'Hart' around the others."

"Of course." Werner answered hurridly. "But they know your name is Nikolai, right?"

"They know that on paper." He answered and clamped the stick between his teeth. "If you want one just take." He said, gesturing at the pack. He still didn't have full control over his body due to his drunkenness, but the cold air seemed to have sobered him up quiet a bit. "A name isn't enough to get you killed...but I act too Russian, sometimes. And Kolya is awefully Russian...especially..." Werner wasn't sure if he should ask 'especially what?' because he was afraid that Nikolai might snap at him. "It doesn't matter anyway. Russian or not Russian, my family at home is going to have to go away from Essen. They have to."

"Is Essen really so dangerous?"

"Not really, not yet. But I'm sure that when the allied start bombing Germany, they'll pick industrial cities. And Essen is one of them. It'll get harder to leave later on, that's why they should leave now."

"Have you told your wife that?"

"Of course!" Nikolai said raising his arm in a helpless gesture that meant 'but she won't listen'! "I told her many times, even before I left for Auschwitz. She's too stubborn. She wants the kids to stay in school. I asked her if she was crazy. In school they only learn how to become little Nazis. I don't want my children to be Nazis. I might not survive this war, but I'm sure they will. And they're going to be the future of the fucking country, they shouldn't have these Nazi thoughts..." Werner had forgot all about the Hitlerjugend. And it had never crossed his mind because he didn't have any family here. But wait - he did didn't he? His father had fled from Germany in 1939 to escape being a soldier, that meant his fathers family was still here as well. He probably had relatives who had children who were part of the Hitlerjugend. Nikolai kept rumbling on before Werner could give it too much thought. "I don't think Germany will win. Russia is an opponent they cannot win against, unless they had the rest of the world on their side. But the rest of the world is against them too. So Germany will eventually lose. And when they do; they'll be trampled to the ground just like in WWI." 

"You're right." Werner said. It felt weird to just listen and nodd, so once in a while he piped up with a small agreement. "Have you explained all that to your wife too?"

"To Darya? Yes I have. She didn't take it well."

"Does she like Hitler - forgive me for asking?" Werner asked. 

"She hates him more than I do. But she also hates the Soviet Union, that's why she agreed to come with me in 1930 and move to Germany. She didn't think that the Nazis would rise to power and start a war. Neither did I." Nikolai explained bitterly. Werner swallowed hard. Had Nikolai really just said 'Soviet Union'? Was Nikolai a soviet spy? Nikolai seemed to realize that he'd slipped up and shot Werner an apologetic look. "I'm sorry for keeping it from you...I bet you suspected it anyway, and you're right. I'm a Soviet, not a German. Born and raised in St. Petersburg." Werner had no idea what to say. "Please don't tell anyone. I'm not a genius like Wojciechowski, they'll line me up against the wall and shoot me in the back of my head in the blink of an eye."

"Don't worry I won't." Werner said. "I don't think I could survive Auschwitz without you." This made Nikolai smile. Werner so badly wanted to ask Nikolai if he was just a Soviet or if he also was a spy but he guessed that Nikolai wouldn't answer that. He wasn't drunk enough to admit espionage.

Both was equally possible. Even just being Russian was enough to get you deported in Germany, the same as it was in Russia; being German there was enough to win yourself a one-way ticket to Siberia. But the fact that Nikolai had the German Staatsbürgerschaft was suspicious. Either he'd faked the papers himself on entering Germany with his wife, or he'd been given a fake one by the state. Latter would mean he was a spy.

"Killy and Kolya." Nikolai said all of a sudden. He laughed. "It sounds like a comic strip. Killy and Kolya and the Big Bears of Siberia." He put on a Russian accent when he talked which made Werner snort with laughter. "Killy and Kolya save Polish Doctor from Certain Death." Nikolai kept spitting names for superhero comics in his over-exaggerated Russian accent and Werner almost died of laughter. 

After that day the bench became the first and foremost place their personal discussions took place. They returned to it almost every evening, even on the coldest of polish nights.