My legs were shaking uncontrollably, I sat on the couch for support. I thought I was ready to face Jasmine but the truth is I wasn't. Nothing prepared me the confrontation. I felt like being pierced with a double edged sword.
Jasmine was pure, she was true to me and had my best interest at heart, why then did i do this to her? Was there an intrinsic wickedness in me that i had unleashed? Was I truly a wicked soul? I began to cry uncontrollably. I couldn't help the thought that I might be evil after all.
Femi walked in and gathered me in his arms. "It's okay love, please stop crying. I hate it when you cry"
I looked up at him. He was so pure and true to me too. But wasn't he also evil too? He had betrayed his wife of six years. He left her for me. "Babe, don't you think we're bad people?" I asked him?
"It depends on how you look at it. In this life, if you don't take risks, you might never have anything. I took risks in my business and look where I am today? Why can't I take the same risks as regards my love life?"
"But we betrayed Jasmine, we hurt her badly"
"That's what risks entials, sometimes we hurt people in the process. It is what it is"
"That's what I am saying. Doesn't it make us evil?"
" No one is entirely good and entirely evil. We all have our good and bad sides. Jasmine can't claim to be a saint, she married me for my money, isn't that evil?"
I simply nodded and pretended he was right but I knew deep down Jasmine loved Femi but convincing myself that she wasn't a saint and married Femi for his money was the only way I could reduce the guilt I felt at the moment
Femi held my chin and tilted my head to look up at him. " The heart wants what it wants babe, my heart wants yours and yours wants mine. The strong desires of the heart is not what one can ignore, if you do, you might end up living miserably"
I nodded in agreement. I couldn't imagine a life without Femi right now. My heart craved for him and if I ignored it, I really would have been miserable.
"Ifeoma" This was the first time he called me by my name and I loved how it sounded in his baritone voice. I looked up at him and all I saw was an inexplicable passion. "I love you so much. I've never wanted any woman the way I want you right now. I want you by my side forever. I love you"
"I love you too" I managed to say admist the tears, he kissed them away. I might have lost Jasmine but j didn't lose her for nothing, I had something even better.
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Getting back to the house, Jasmine couldn't imagine staying alone in the big house with her daughters. All the house held for her were pains, betrayal and regrets. She would surely die if she stayed one more day Since Femi gave her the house, she would have to sell it off eventually. She can't imagine living in it.
In less than two hours, she hurriedly packed her belongings as well as her daughters, shoved them in the boot of her car and drove off to the mainland straight to her mother's house.
Her mother lived in a cozy two bedroom flat in surulere. Jasmine had tried convincing her mother to join her on the island but her mother refused saying she loved where she was. Now she was glad her mother hadn't listened to her because she needed to be far away from that environment.
Once she got to there her mother held out her arms wide open in an embrace. In this wicked world, she was the only one she could say that genuinely cared about her.
Her children were already excited to see their granny. They loved her so much and she was relieved that for the main time, they wouldn't be sober neither would they bother her about their dad. While they played with her mum, she took our luggages into the guest room which used to be her room before she got married.
The room held so much memories. She could remember breaking the news of her engagement to Femi here. Her mother's reaction had baffled her.
"Mother, didn't you hear what I said, I said I am getting married"
"And I said congratulations. What else do you want me to say?"
"You don't seem happy for me" Her reaction repelled her. She had been urging her to get married and now that she was engaged, she wasn't showing any enthusiasm.
"You getting married would give me so much joy but when you get married to the wrong person, how do you expect me to be happy? Femi is not the kind of guy you think he is. He doesn't have regard for anyone and would hurt anyone to get what he wants. That type of man cannot love one woman. He reminds me so much of your father"
"Stop it mum! Just stop it already. I hate it when you do this. Why do you keep comparing my man to your ex husband? Not everyone is like dad. You really need to heal because I'm sick and tired of this nonsense. You know absolutely nothing about Femi. We love each other and we'll get married whether you're happy or not" She bolted out of the room slamming the door so hard. She didn't talk to her for a week.
She sighed at the memory. If only she had listened to her, if only she tried to see beyond her emotions, She wouldn't be in this mess. Sometimes, it's good to listen to one's parents she thought out loud because they see things we don't.
She threw herself on the bed bursting into fresh tears. How could she be so foolish and blinded by love? The signs had always been there but she ignored them all. She should have even divorced him when he started cheating but she kept enduring for the kids sake now he has done an irreparable damage. Why didn't she just leave?
Her mother came in later in the afternoon to serve her lunch but she couldn't bring herself to eat. She begged her mother to let her be for sometime. She cried till night, she also refused to eat dinner and her head ached badly. Her mother came in again after she had put the kids to bed.
She held her in her arms while she told her everything that happened. When she was done, her mother kept quiet for minutes before finally speaking.
"I'm sorry you have to go through this dear, I tried so hard to protect you from experiencing this but I guess even as parent there's a limit to how far we can go. I'm not in any way surprised about femi because it has always been there but Ifeoma, I'm beyond shocked. I thought she was a good girl. The heart of man is desperately wicked. What has happened has happened, you can't kill yourself, you've to move on"
She looked up at her mother, what was she moving on to? At far as she was concerned, her life was over.