hii my name is corey i am of 20 years old i have sea blue eyes red hairs i am 5'9 and i have a lean body but i have a very high iq i can do everything except taking good decisions in my life i am a very gluable person 

i think everything will always remain just like it was in my childhood free,enjoyfull and happy 

my heart is pounding rapidly,i was drenched in a sweat ,soo tired of running from those haunted memories from my past from myself it was like ''I AM MY ENEMY'

i took lots of bad decision in my life, i wanna rely on someone, wanna trust someone but i can't cause i myself destroyed everything for myself, i myself make a fool out of me by trusting simon i am a fool, i am a fool ,yeah i am a fool i think my brain will explode with everything happening in my life

i loved him, i loved every part of him, i cried cried a lot i can feel the eyes on me creating invisible holes in my body i was now running toward my apartment i don't want to be out here to be seen by anyone to be a toy again

few hours earlier

i was having a normal day i was excited to meet my boyfriend to give him surprise recently things were not going good between us but i managed to pull our relations and here we are all the difficulties which were simon was in,  now gone and we will be happy again it was last year when simon come out to his family but his family disowned him i helped him as much as i can i support him, bear all his rude behaviours and today he was successful after working hard for the full year he is a top businessman now, i helped him in managing his newly opened restaurant, help managing finances and support him financially with everything i have with everything happening it is very difficult for us to talk so the conversation between us is almost stopped we didn't talk on phone he didn't want to move in with me yet because he don't want to be a burden on me we argue over this for so many times that now i have to give up the idea, we will be living together after everything will be settled, he is my first love he is soo handsome his dark black eyes pull me towards him and his handsome face make me come right then and there his soft baritone voice do things in my stomach it was in highschool when he transferred in my class he was so soo handsome everyone was drooling over him and when he showed interest in me it's like ohh my god it likes a dream come true i was soo much happy i didn't even imagine that he will propose me and here he was proposing me to be his boyfriend it was a lucky day...ohh i again went out of my line so where we are ..yes to the upcoming meetup so today is the day when i will meet him after 6 months we were having barely conversation through phone i was busy in handling restaurant business and my job and he was busy with other stuffs 

i prepare his favorite meal for him to enjoy i think tonight will be the naughty night, after preparing meal i do shower and clean myself properly and put on a sexy red button up shirt and a black skinny jeans i placed meal on the table and put flowers on the table to add more feelings in the environment i set up a slow romantic music and in the bedroom i placed flowers and petals all over the floor and was looking forward to his reaction he loves me soo much today i will give him permission to touch me though we only do sex 3-4 time sex this year but in that time course i didn't surrender myself wholly to him but now is the time to step forward and marry may be today i will purpose him to marry me i was soo excited to see his shocked face i even bought a diamond ring which is soo elegant small diamonds are all over the ring he will be here at 10;00 pm but i can't wait anymore so i will give him surprise i will go to his work office though i told him i am going out of town for small business but i can give him romantic surprise after all i am  only his one and the only so i picked up the key and headed towards the office to pick him up

but when i reached there i feel some strange feelings my heart was pounding and i was having a strange feeling like something bad will happen but i will ignore it because today is the special night 

it was only 6;00 in the evening and i planned to pick  simon up early so that we can do shopping i headed towards the office when sarah his secretary stopped me she is a very kind lady and i like her alot ''sorry sir,sir is busy he instructed us not to disturb him'' she said but his tone give me a weird emotion   .her eyes  looking at me pathetically like she is begging me not to enter in the office ''sarah don't worry i will handle him go do your work'' i said giving her a polite smile i felt angry when she tried to stop me never have she ever nerve to stop me every one knows my relation with simon here i opened the door but the scene in front of me shocked me i can't i can't speak anything i was shocked i feel tightness in my chest i can't i just can't accept the scene in front of me 

simon was sitting in his chair while a blondie giving him blowjob he was startled by sudden intervision when he saw me he smirked at me and closed his eyes while the certain blondie ignored me and continue doing what he was doing the pleasure moans from simon mouth burn my ears ohh how much i wished at that moment that i disappeared from here or didn't get too excited to pick him up tears started to dwell in my eyes i stormed out of the office thousands of thoughts were started in my head i started to run i cried my heart clenched i am not aware of my surroundings the pain from heart broken is overwhelming i have no idea what to do i am broken i can't keep up i wanted to return to my apartment as soon as possible i reached my apartment but when i see the doorway the dining the bed my feelings shattered i collapsed in the door and started crying loudly i was supposed to be happy tonight today i today i was going to purpose him how how can he do that to me we've been together for 2 years i do everything maybe maybe it is because of this year we were apart that's why he feel sexually frustrated yeah that's the reason i give him a good night and he will  come to me again i love him soo much i can't live without him i will do everything for him i don't want to accept the reality tonight will go as it was supposed i saw nothing i saw nothing i headed towards shower to clean myself best again so he can pleasure himself with my body i will give him best blowjob that he will forget that blondie yes yes i will do that he have to be mine i don't give shitt who give him what i will give him best and everything is settled now so we will be happy ever after i don't want to thought about that incident that was just a bad dream yes yes a bad dream with that i entered in the shower i scratch myself until my body give light shade of pink 

simon comes home at 12;00 i was waiting for him at the dinner table he was drunk he didn't say a word he grab me from my collar and force me to stand up from the chair he started kissing me on the lips the kisses was soo deep i need to breath but he was not breaking the kiss after some time he break the kiss and started to say something it was quite a whisper but i pick up on it he was calling some other person name not mine and suddenly like it was a switch on  his mode he started to yell at me '' you motherfucking whore why you brust in the office'' he grabbed my hair and yanked me the pain surges from my head is soo much but not too much that was in my heart ''you are just a slut for me you hear it, you are just a useless slut do you think you are beautiful''he grabbed my chin and force me to see my reflection on the mirror''do you think these ugly eyes attracts me towards you'' he slapped me in the face and then again grabbed my hair and force me to stand up from the floor''why you burst in the office with your ugly face i was having pleasure with the love of my life but you have to ruin everything you ruined my life you ruined everything now you want me to be yours hunhh'' he again slapped me the force  his slapp is soo hard sending me flying towards wallad with a thudd i was on the floor i can't cry there is no tears in my eyes i was in a trans it's like i am seeing everything from afar i was sitting somewhere and watching everything that is happening from someone else pov i didn't say anything as he  say harsh words to me sent meal on the floor and mocked on me'' do you think this meal will make your way towards my heart then it's only your desire because i am not yours and will never be yours do you hear meme i wanted only to destroy you because of you a slutting whore  my family disowned me so last year i decided why not take some advantage of your sharp mind and build up my own business do you fucking know how many times i want to laugh when i see your calls do you have idea how many time i want to puke when i saw your texts saying i love you you are only an ugly bastard no more see yourself who will love you with this ugly face of yours''he throw a vase towards me which hits me on my head''leave my house now''he yelled at me''what his house''i mumbled''yes my house you idiot piece of shitt i took signatures of you last night when i give you papers of finance and you signed it without reading now its my property you leave or i  call police''he throw harsh words to me my world collapsed everything in me crumbled as the realization hit me i can't bear this pain i can't with that i started to move towards the door when i hear his voice ''stop'' with that he disappeared in the  room leaving me in the dining after sometime he returned with a small bag in his hand which he threw towords me ''now you can fuck off'' he said with soo much hatred that i can't stand there for another minute everything is soo much for me when i stepp out of the door i saw tha blondie from the office standing in front of the door with his laguage i wanted to slapp him wanted to take his smirk from his face i wanted to kill him but i will not i will not because he is the love of the person i love sooo much i carry bag and decided to go to my parental home where my parents with my brothers lived this appartment i buy it from my savings i was in a desperate need to move out from that house to my seperate place so i can have privacy with simon my mind went blank i can't think i can't cry when i reached my parents house i didn't remember i stopped in front of the door deciding to open it or not when i hear sounds comming from home its like an argument it's not new this house is always a choas i was about to open the door when i heared a voice comming from the hall''why you want to hand over the business to that faggot''i was trembling when i heared such words comming from my brother's mouth i was only gay in my family i think he was talking about me but but why such words its like sky fall on me and earth started to narrow on me i left the house my own family think of me like that i was left emotionless