It was very late at night when Soobin finally closed the main door of the cafe and started walking to his home. There were very few people on the road as the night was getting darker. Almost all people went back home and were probably spending their time with their families. Soobin's house wasn't far from his workplace. So, he always walks to his home though he feels tired.
There were so many things Soobin was thinking about. Maybe that's why he didn't feel lonely while walking alone. However, Yeonjun's words were stuck in his head and he couldn't stop thinking about them. What he said earlier, Soobin couldn't understand why Yeonjun was so obstinate even though he rejected him twice. If he keeps doing it, Soobin might actually accept his feelings. Because he can't bear to look at that gloomy face when Soobin refused to be together with him. Moreover, he could understand that deep inside, he didn't want Yeonjun to give up on him. Soobin couldn't forget the despondent face Yeonjun was making before leaving. He should've stopped him. He should've said he can't understand what he actually wants and if he deserves it.
"Shit! What am I even thinking? What good would happen if I stopped him?" Soobin sighed and looked above. The sky was fully covered with darkness. Even a star wasn't twinkling in the sky.
"This is it! Maybe I will make his life darker than this!" He sighed and started walking again, looking below, at the street.
Soon, he reached the alley he needed to go through to get home. Disappointedly, even the lights weren't blinking. Though it was too dark, it wasn't a problem for Soobin as he knew the place thoroughly. He kept walking and when he reached near the end of the alley, someone grabbed his arm tightly. Soobin gasped and got afraid as he thought it was some thief or robber.
"W-who?" Soobin was trying his best to free his wrist.
"Soobin-ah! Don't be afraid! It's me!" A voice which was trying to assure him that the person meant no harm, was recognized by Soobin. That was the voice Soobin wanted to hear the least. Hearing the voice, Soobin's heart began to beat fast and he got so afraid that his whole body felt weak. He started trembling and couldn't get his wrist free.
"S-s-sam!" He couldn't even talk out of fear. Although it was chilly, he got fully drenched in his sweat in a very short time.
"I'm relieved you still recognize my voice. Soobin! Let's talk, hm?" He was still holding Soobin's hand as he was afraid he'd run away if he let go of his hand.
"P-please! I-I don't h-have a-anything to s-say." Soobin was twisting his wrist so hard that it started to hurt.
"Soobin-ah! Listen to me just once, hm? It's gonna take just two minutes. I promise, I'd go after this. So, stop being hectic." Saying this, he pulled Soobin closer and hugged him tightly before Soobin could realize it.
"P-please let me g-go." Soobin was having a hard time breathing, but he kept pushing the guy and untie himself from his grasp.
"Do you have any idea how much I tried to reach you? I've called you several times and sent you so many texts, but you blocked my number. You even blocked me from all of the social media which is why I couldn't hear from you. I even sent you mails from time to time, but you never checked them. I know what I did was wrong. But, I wasn't sober. I never w…." He kept saying and when he noticed Soobin stopped moving, he loosened his grasp. Though he was blabbering, Soobin wasn't listening to him at all. At last, he understood it was his chance and he pushed the guy so hard that he fell on the ground.
Without looking back, Soobin ran away and got inside his home. He locked the door before turning the lights on. He was hating the touch so much, wanting to skin himself. He sat right beside the door as his trembling feet weren't supporting him anymore. His whole body was shaking so hard that he couldn't even move until he felt the urge to cleanse himself wholly from inside. Although it was hard just to breath, he took his body which felt double weighted right then, into the washroom.
Though he couldn't eat much earlier, he felt as if everything he ate in his life was coming out as it wasn't stopping. He really wished someone beside him, consoling him right then. As it was dark and he was having a hard time breathing, he couldn't find the flush button. He stood up though it was difficult for him to keep his body still. On top of that, he started coughing beside his chest pain due to the panic attack which has never occurred before. Before he could do anything, he felt this was the end of his life. He fell on the ground when he went completely out of his breath.
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"SOOBIN! ARE YOU THERE? HEY! SOOBIN! SOOBIN-AH! HEY! ARE YOU DEAD?" Arin kept knocking at the door and shouting as there was no response from inside.
"Fuck! He's certainly inside. But WHY THE FUCK HE'S NOT OPENING THE DOOR!" She rang the bell again and knocked on the door again. But alas! Soobin couldn't hear her. It was almost 6 am. Arin was calling Soobin since she had some business with him. She came to his house as he wasn't receiving her call.
Arin hold the doorknob and twisted it though she didn't know if it'd work. Surprising her, the door unlocked and she gasped.
"I....am coming in!" Arin said with an uncertain tone as she didn't understand if it'd be a good idea to trespassing. She finally entered and noticed it was so dark inside that it looked just like a haunted house.
"Hey! Are you having a party with your ghost friends?" Arin's mind got filled with sudden ominous thoughts. She was slowly walking to Soobin's room though she was hesitating whether she should go inside or not. After searching for a while, she finally found the collapsed body inside the bathroom. She figured out what happened and ran to Soobin.
"S-Soobin! Hey! Wake up! Hey! It's not a place to sleep, you know?" Arin knelt beside the body and tried to pull him up. She put her ear on his chest as she was afraid of the worst outcome. Fortunately, Soobin's heart was running, but very slowly. Arin couldn't understand what she should do. She couldn't even move his body so how would she move him from there. She took out her phone from her bag with her trembling hands and rang someone up.
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Soobin woke up and discovered his body on his bed. He tried to remember what happened before he went to sleep as the last thing he remembered was vomiting in the washroom.
He sat down and remembering the most unwanted touch he got the last night, gave him shivers from his spine. He held his knees tightly and put his head on his knees. He was looking just like an egg as he dug his head between his knees. He started trembling again even though he wanted to control himself.
"Soobin!" Arin shouted and ran towards him as she saw him sitting. Unfortunately, Soobin couldn't hear Arin's footsteps or shouting. He kept shivering as his tears started falling and made his face wet from his tears. He was startled when Arin finally touched him softly. He hurriedly tried to wipe his tears and looked up.
"What happened, Soobin?" Arin was very concerned and worried as she knew something must've happened to him.
"N-Noona! What should I do? I-I I'm still a-afraid of h-him." Soobin had a breakdown again as he couldn't stop his tears.
"Who?" Arin was curious at first, but she understood what happened and got scared.
"He came to you?" She asked while sitting down beside him. She put her hand on his back to console him even though she knew it wouldn't help.
"Mmm." Soobin nodded very slowly. His tears stopped falling as he was in a daze.
"Why? Did he say anything to you?" Arin's eyebrows were furrowed as she kept worrying beside talking with Soobin. In reply, He shrugged his shoulders lightly and pushed his lower lip out while sighing, shaking his head slowly. He didn't know the answer either so he couldn't reply to her. He kept gazing at the window without blinking. Meanwhile, Arin pulled his head and made him lean on her so that she could caress his hair and console him. Soobin obediently put his head on her shoulder as he was searching for some comfort.
"Noona! Can you pass me the inhaler? It's in that drawer." Soobin broke the silence as he could understand he was slowly getting out of his breath again.