When I woke up in the morning, I still had the same question on my mind.
After we had enjoyed the meat buns I had promised the boys to prepare for them, we started packing our things to return to Kokubunji. This day marked the end of our vacation.
'Are you done packing your things?' I asked Shunsui, as I came up to him where he was sitting under the veranda of our room, smoking a cigarette. 'We're ready to leave. Tsubasa-sama and Gōjun are already putting their bags in the car.'
'Yes,' he replied, in a murmur. 'I'll join you in a minute. The time I finish this cigarette.'
I had noticed that the reddish-brown-haired young man has not seemed as his usual self since this morning. In fact, he has been acting a bit strangely since last night.
Placing one of my hands over the pillar next to me and turning to face the pond in the distance, I pointed out to him, timidly, 'You were very agitated last night in your sleep.'
'Yes...' he whispered.
'Shunsui...' I said, even more timidly, looking at his face again, 'I've noticed that… About Tsubasa-sama and you… Is everything alright?'
I had no idea how to formulate my question. But when he met my eyes, I knew that he had understood what I meant. I guessed that he had noticed my observing the two of them.
He stared at my face for a second or two, before he stubbed his cigarette and turned his face back to the front, lowering his eyes, his expression filled with melancholy.
'Hime,' he told me, softly, 'You have to know that Tsubasa Shigeizumi is not my biological mother.'
My eyes went wide at him; my heart skipping a beat.
Tsubasa-sama is not his biological mother?! But they resemble each other so much, not only in their physical traits, but also in terms of their personality!
'I am an illegitimate child. I am the son of her husband's mistress!'
My breath caught.
Shunsui….
'The woman who has given birth to me was the mistress of her husband. Even if I was very young, not more than seven years old, I knew that what my father and biological mother were doing was extremely wrong. The day of the accident, all three of us were in the car together. The brakes failed. My father and biological mother died before they could arrive at the hospital, while I survived. I had miraculously been spared; having only incurred a few superficial injuries. Tsubasa Shigeizumi had learnt from a detective only a few hours before the accident that that her husband has been cheating on her with another woman; that he has a mistress. When I saw her at the hospital, her hair was completely disheveled, her eyes red and swollen. She had most definitely spent hours out in the rain and had cried a lot. I was sitting there, in the corridor of the hospital, watching the doctor speak to her, announcing to her the news that her husband was dead and that there was a woman with him in the car. And I saw the shock on her face when he informed her that he has a son with that woman. She had not read the whole report of the detective. She looked at me and broke into tears. And she left in a run. I remained sitting there. I thought that I would end up at the orphanage. But she came back for me. She reached out and took my hand. She wiped her tears and my own. She took me to her place and has loved me like her son; even more than that. She gave me everything. I could not understand how she could love me. She has detested my father for what he had done, as well as that woman who had brought me to this world; but why does she not hate me? I still don't understand. For me, she is not human. She is the woman that I love the most in this world. She is the only person whom I consider as my mother. But when I look at her, I feel ashamed for what my father and biological mother have done to her.'
Oh Shunsui….
I was speechless; my emotions in turmoil.
Ever since I have known Tsubasa-sama, my admiration and respect for her have never stopped increasing. But what I felt towards her now was beyond admiration and respect. It was pure and ardent devotion.
She, really, is such a touching person!
We put an end to our conversation, at that moment, as we heard the blonde woman and Gōjun arriving, calling out to us from the corridor as to whether we were ready to leave or not.
When we got onto the car and were en route for Kokubunji, I couldn't stop thinking about what Shunsui had told me about his feelings of shame, and my eyes would constantly shift from his face to that of the blonde woman and back again, my heart clenching.
I wonder if Tsubasa-sama knows how he feels...
It was in the late afternoon that we reached Kokubunji, and turning to look at me where I was sitting next to Gōjun in the backseat of the car, Tsubasa-sama asked me, pleasantly, 'Do you want us to drop you somewhere?'
My eyes widened at her in surprise; my heart skipping a beat.
How does she know that I don't want to go home immediately?
Closing her eyes, she gave me a large smile.
Oh, Tsubasa-sama…
'Yes. At the hospital please...' I whispered, returning the smile, filled with gratefulness.
She indicated the taxi driver to do that. After having said goodbye to the boys and her in front of the gate of the hospital, I watched the vehicle drive away until it was completely out of sight, before I turned to face the hospital building and made a run for it, impatient to see my mother again.
***
In the late evening…
'Shall I walk you to the station?' Yūsei Nishoji proposed to the ginger-haired girl after they had completed their working hours at the pizzeria.
Natsui looked at the young man's face, blushing a little.
'Y-Yes, if you want,' she replied, before adding with a smile, 'Thank you. And thank you also for having helped me to deliver the milk and newspapers today as well. You have helped me for two days in consecutive.'
'Oh, you're welcome!' Yūsei told her, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.
There was a minute of silence between the two of them, before Natsui decided to speak out what she has had on her heart for some times now.
'Yūsei, you know, I have been thinking a lot about what you told concerning your brother, and...'
The blond male took a glance at her, before he looked back in the front.
My brother… Sōken...
Every evening when the teenager would return home, he would find the latter sitting in the dining room with Naoyasu Hanabusa. And every time, the only reaction that would occur to him was to excuse himself rapidly and turn around very quickly to hurry upstairs for his bedroom. He wouldn't come down again until he was absolutely certain that the older blond male was gone. Yūsei has been trying to avoid him as much as possible.
'I was telling myself that... With my brother, it's too late, but it doesn't have to be the same with yours!' Natsui asserted, confidently. 'I think you should give him a chance!'
The young man's head snapped around at the girl at that moment.
Give him... a chance?!
All the memories that he had been trying to stifle, together with the feelings attached to them, returned to the surface in that instant, submerging him. Gritting his teeth together with both pain and anger, he snapped at the ginger-haired girl, 'Please, shut up! You don't know anything! Nothing at all!' And on these words, he flung around and flounced away, abandoning the girl there in the middle of the street.
Natsui stared after him, her emotions in turmoil.
Maybe, I should not have told him that. I only wanted to make part to him what I really felt what he should do. But, when I think about it, I'm not very well placed to advise him on this kind of thing.
***
When the blond male had reached home, he still hadn't calmed down completely yet. He almost felt betrayed by the ginger-haired girl for having told him that he should give a chance to his brother.
The moment he slid the door of the dining room open, his eyes instantly fell onto the older blond male, who was sitting next to Naoyasu Hanabusa at the table. He was there, relentlessly, like every other evening.
Swinging around on the spot, without excusing himself this time, he started to cross the corridor to head for the staircase to go upstairs to his room.
But this evening, Naoyasu Hanabusa could not allow him to leave just like that; he couldn't allow the same action to repeat itself this evening like every other.
'That's enough!' he declared, with an unhappy frown, and Sōken stared at his friend in shock as he saw him jerk to his feet to stalk for the door after the blond-haired teenager.
'Naoyasu, where are you going?' he called out to him, but the red-haired male ignored him, continuing in his stride.
Jumping to his feet too, Sōken hurried after the man, only to pause down in the doorway to stare him as he yanked Yūsei to a stop by his wrist in the corridor and fling him around to growl at his face, angrily, 'Stop there, Yūsei! I've had more than enough of your behavior now! Sōken is my friend; I want you to show him some respect! No, in fact, I want you to show him some respect because HE IS YOUR BROTHER!'
'Naoyasu, stop...' Sōken breathed, filled with melancholy, but he was standing too far away for the latter to hear him. He was extremely touched by the fact that the red-haired male was standing up for him, but he also couldn't help thinking that he has only got what he deserved, and that perhaps, he didn't deserve to be treated in any other way by Yūsei.
'Naoyasu, let go of me!' the teenager exclaimed, his heart accelerating in his chest.
'No, I'm not letting go of you! I'm not through talking with you yet! You're going to apologize to Sōken immediately for your rude behavior! And let me also tell you this, Yūsei! Don't you even think about moving out of this house! I'm already warning you! If you take even one step outside of this house without my permission, I'll call the police!'
Yūsei's heart shook. In fact, he felt his whole world shake.
'Naoyasu, you're not serious?!' he gasped, his stomach clenching, his eyes frantic.
'Oh, yes, I'm perfectly serious! Try me!'
The blond-haired teenager's heart was now beating frenetically. He felt his face and neck, in fact, his whole body grow cold, and his world, the world, really seemed to be swirling by this moment.
'Yūsei!' Naoyasu cried out in stupefaction, when he saw him reach up to hold his forehead with his hand and make a sudden, involuntary, falling movement forward.
Sōken cried out his younger brother's name by the same time and ran up to him without losing a second, but the latter had already collapsed into Naoyasu's arms.
'Yūsei, what's wrong?' the red-haired male demanded at teenager in dead alarm, shaking him a little while holding him upright. But the young man did not reply. Naoyasu and Sōken exchanged a terrified look with each other, before the red-haired male turned Yūsei slightly around to see that he has fainted.
***
A quarter an hour later…
'He fainted due to a drop in his blood pressure,' the doctor declared, after he had examined the teenager.
They were now upstairs in the latter's bedroom.
'From what you have explained to me, I would conclude that it was because of the shock,' the doctor carried on to say. 'He must have been really stressed out lately. And I have the impression that he doesn't eat properly; he must have been skipping meals.'
Naoyasu and Sōken looked at each other, their heart in tumult.
'I would advise you to take better care of this young man. Make sure that you don't pressurize him too much about anything. And that he eats all his meals and takes proper rest.'
Giving the red-haired male a small comforting tap on the shoulder, the old doctor took leave of them. Sōken came downstairs with him to accompany him to the door, while Naoyasu shifted to the blond-haired teenager's bed to sit down on the floor by his side, to stare at him with distraught.
When he heard Sōken return, he looked at the latter, with tears welling up in his eyes, and told him, 'I'm so sorry. If he is in this state, it's because of me! I should never have behaved so aggressively towards him!'
'Naoyasu, stop!' Sōken declared, closing the distance between them to put a comforting hand on the red-haired male's shoulder. 'I know that you were only trying to help Yūsei and I.'
Looking at the face of the unconscious teenager then, the blond man murmured, grimly, 'It's my fault. I have abandoned him. I don't deserve his forgiveness. I should leave before he wakes up.'
And on these words, he turned away reluctantly and walked away.
Naoyasu stared after Sōken for a whole minute after he was gone, before his eyes returned onto Yūsei again.
Oh Sōken… Don't give up! You can do so much good to each other!
The red-haired male remained by the teenager's side the whole while the latter was unconscious, watching over him. It was after some two hours that the young man came back to himself.
The moment Naoyasu saw the blond male's eyes crack open, he sprang to feet on the spot to ask him, worriedly, 'Yūsei, how are you feeling?'
'Naoyasu…' the teenager whispered, feeling a bit disoriented at first. 'Where am I?'
'We've carried you to your room! Do you remember what happened? You fainted on us!'
Yūsei could remember everything now. But strangely, his emotions were very calm.
'You've been watching over me all this time?' he asked, giving the red-haired man a surprised look.
'Of course. What could be more normal?!'
'And Sōken?'
The older male's expression fell a little.
'He's not here. He's gone. He thought that perhaps you wouldn't want to have him around when you wake up,' he replied, sadly, averting his eyes. Looking back at the teenager then, he told him, with fervor, 'Yūsei, I wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry for having aggressed you like I did earlier! Please, forgive me!'
Yūsei didn't say anything at first. He simply fixated the man.
'Naoyasu...' he whispered at last.
The man gulped. 'Yes?'
'Tomorrow there's a funfair at the shrine. Will Sōken and you accompany me?'
Naoyasu's eyes widened at him, his heart skipping a beat.
'You want Sōken to come along? Do you mean that...'
He left his words hanging, so much he was astounded.
'I'm not saying that I'm going to give him a chance. I only want to hear what he has to say, and then, I'll decide if I want to give him a chance or not.'
Naoyasu continued to stare at the blond teenager for a few minutes, the words sinking in slowly, before he declared, with as much fervor as before, 'Yūsei, if you're doing this because of what I told you earlier about the police and everything- Look, Yūsei! I recognize that I made a mistake earlier. I should never have tried to pressurize you like that! What I really want is for you to give Sōken a chance, with all your heart, not under pressure!'
'What happened earlier has helped me realize something. I realized how much you want me to give Sōken a chance, how much you want for things to arrange themselves between us. And there's a certain ginger-haired girl who also wants me to give him a chance. This makes me curious; I wish to give a chance to your perspective of things.'
'Yūsei...' Naoyasu whispered, and lowering his eyes and smiling, in appreciation, he told him, 'You've always been someone so thoughtful!'
Thanking the teenager, he left the room joyously to go downstairs and give Sōken a phone call to announce the news to him, while Yūsei sat up in his bed and reach out for his cellphone, telling himself that he should probably call Natsui and apologize to her for having been so rude with her earlier.
Thank you for reading!