Ever since my mother has entered the hospital, I visited her twice daily.
And on my every visit, I would wish that upon my opening the door of her hospital room, I'd find her sitting upright in bed and watching me tenderly, as though she had simply woken up from a slumber.
'I'm sorry, Hime. I over-slept,' she would tell me, with a sheepish smile, and I would smile back, and say, 'It's okay. Did you take proper rest?'
I yearned to have this conversation with her. I yearned to hear her voice. I yearned to see an expression on her face. I yearned for a response on her part, even the smallest one.
Placing myself in front of the window as usual, with my back turned on the outside, I gave her a complete account of my first day at Shigeizumi High School.
After I was done, I agitated my head from side to side in self-pity, moaning out, 'Ah! I know what you're going to say! - "What an unusual way to start the school year!"- Isn't it? And that was my first day in a new school! I have become a "slave"- that's the word he has employed.' I grimaced, then sighed. 'And I, who wished to avoid these two delinquents!'
I looked up at her again as I said this last part, and putting my forefinger up, I stated, 'Now, I know what you're going to tell me: "You're always judging people too quickly, Hime!"'
Hanging my head, I let out another sigh.
'Anyway... I'm going to be courageous and give it the best of myself,' I declared, finally, putting my fists up in resolution, and wearing a brave face. 'After all, what happened is my fault!'
Moving up to her bed then, I placed my hand over hers and bent down to kiss her on the forehead to say goodbye to her.
The visiting hours were now over, given the time the clock was indicating.
As I slipped the door of the room open, and stepped outside into the corridor to leave, suddenly, I bumped head-on into someone who was walking-by the room.
Instantly, I began to apologize, but only for me to freeze and pale when I looked up and saw that it was the director of the hospital!
When I managed to find my voice again, I reiterated my apology, giving him another bow.
'It's okay,' he said, blankly. 'You've changed school?'
My eyes widened at him in surprise.
He has noticed that I used to wear a different uniform before?
'It's a good school,' he stated. 'Study well!'
And on these words, he continued his walk.
I stared after the dark-haired man for a whole minute, still very surprised, before I headed for the staircase, my thoughts drifting off to my home town and my arrival in this city.
I was born and grew up at Monden. It is a small town situated several kilometers towards the east of Kokubunji. I had never known any other place than Monden. On her side, my mother was born in this city and this is where she grew up. When she went into a coma, and I came to live with my grand-parents, I discovered Kokubunji for the first time, and I joined the local high school. Thus, this was the second time that I had changed school in less than a year.
Obā-san was closing the shop, when I reached home sometimes later. Ojii-san usually returned home quite late from work, and we rarely had the chance to take dinner all together during weekdays.
After I had freshened up and ate my dinner, I left for work.
I worked as a part-time cleaner in a company. I was the only youngster there; all my colleagues being middle-aged women. They have always been very kind to me. They taught me everything that I ought to know, and I helped them with their own work as much as possible whenever I could to show them my gratitude.
It was in the dark of the night that I would return home.
The nights were peaceful in Kokubunji. The streets were desert and there was no traffic, except for one or two speeding cars up the main roads now and then.
As I arrived in front of the grand-mother's shop, I saw that there was light coming from the apartment small apartment through a window which gave off onto the street. The light was yellow and feeble. I knew that it was my grand-mother who was still working in the kitchen, and in a corner of my heart, I dared to speculate that it was for my return from work that she awaited every night.
I made my way up the staircase, which was situated on the left side of the shop, to join the apartment.
The door at the head of the stairs opened directly onto the living room, which was also the dining room, with a kitchenette on the side. In the middle of the living room was a low table where we sit to eat our meals, and there was a television set against one wall; the floor covered with tatami.
The apartment comported only one bedroom. By the entrance door, was a small space which normally served as a wardrobe. It was behind these sliding doors that I had established my sleeping quarters. It was also in this space that my mother used to sleep, and despite the many years that she had left the apartment, her fragrance still impregnated the room. It was reassuring and comforting.
I closed the door quietly behind me, as I entered the apartment.
Obā-san was holding herself by the kitchenette and she had her hand in a dough. She looked up at me once, before she went back to what she was doing.
'Let me help you!' I said, softly, hitching my sleeves up and hurrying towards her. 'If we do it together, we'll have completed everything more quickly. And, in this way, you'll be able to go to sleep earlier!'
'No, thank you!' she replied, her tone astringent. 'I don't need any help! I remind you that it's you who needs help here! Who needs us!'
I staggered to a stop, her words hitting me like a blow.
'And, please! Do not make too much noise! Your grand-father is sleeping! It's thanks to him that you have a place to stay!'
Flinging around then, she put the bowl of dough away in the refrigerator and washed her hands, after which she turned off the light and stride for her room, grumbling, 'If it had been up to me, your mother and you would have remained in Monden!'
For a long time after she was gone, I remained standing there in the dark, without moving; my emotions in turmoil. I tried desperately not to feel bad. I knew that what she had said was only the truth. I knew that I was inconveniencing them, and I felt terrible about it. They didn't need this. They didn't deserve this. And I also knew that my grand-mother didn't hate me or her daughter. She was only angry with Okā-san. But, this was what saddened me the most- the state of their relationship with each other.
The two have always been very close. My mother, Kozue, was Obā-san and Ojii-san's only child. They loved her and cherished her with all their heart. She was Ojii-san's darling daughter, his gem, and she was even closer to Obā-san. Their relationship with each other was very special; they were like two friends, like two sisters.
And then, one day, my mother met the man who would become my father. My grand-parents refused that she marries him, but my mother loved him sincerely, and they had to give in. However, they could never forgive her for it, especially Obā-san- she felt betrayed.
After their marriage, my father refused that my mother visits her parents or that they come visit her, and thus, I have grown up far away from my grand-parents. From time to time, Ojii-san would call, but my grand-mother never spoke to her daughter again after her marriage.
My father was someone extremely abusive, and this is what angered and hurt Obā-san even more today, because my mother hid it from them all this time, and Obā-san finds it even harder to forgive my mother, because he's the one responsible for her present state.
I dearly hope that one day, my mother would be able to mend all the broken strings in Obā-san's heart, and their relationship will be back to how it used to be.
I had not realized that tears had welled up my eyes, until this moment, as they rolled their way down my cheeks.
Clasping my hands over my mouth to muffle my sobs, I rushed to my bedroom and closing the door after me, I unrolled my futon on the floor and threw myself onto it, to sob to myself quietly.
***
The next morning, I felt low and almost unwell.
Sleep had been hard to come during the night, and my eyes were swollen from crying. After a small jump at the hospital and the shrine, I made my way torpidly to school, dragging my feet under me.
As I was about to enter the Genkan, out of the blue, I felt something land onto my head with a small splash.
It was wet and cold.
This roused me to full awareness, making me alert.
For a whole second, I stood completely frozen. I could feel several pairs of eyes on me.
Then, slowly, I reached up to check what it was. It had penetrated my hair and was slithering down my temple. It was something flimsy and white.
Is this... yogurt?!
At that moment, I heard an explosion of laughter from the roof and looked up spontaneously to see a group of students holding themselves there, with yogurt and water bombs in their hands. They were jeering at me, just like the other students in the yard. By the same instant, another student- a male student- rushed past me to enter the Genkan. He, too, had his hair full of yogurt.
What's going on? I already knew the answer to this question, but my mind was refusing to assimilate it, but it was forced to when one of the boys on the roof shouted to me, 'People like you shouldn't be allowed to study in the same school as us! The slums are where you belong! Go, study with the poor!'
My eyes began to sting with tears. It was so humiliating.
'Hime?!' came Shunsui Shigeizumi's voice, suddenly, and I flung around to look at him.
He had just arrived, together with Gōjun Shoran, and they were both staring at me, their expression stunned.
The feeling of humiliation doubled at their sight, and breaking into tears, I dashed for the door of the building to get out of their view.
***
A short while later, Shunsui Shigeizumi and Gōjun Shoran were standing in the corridor just outside of the girls' washroom, waiting for the dark-haired girl to come out.
They were both leaning against the wall, each on one side of the door, their expression sombre.
Shunsui had covered his mouth with his hand and was staring at the ceiling.
When will they understand that people cannot be judged according to their wealth and status? he asked himself, afflicted. It is character that makes a person. The heart. Yes, the heart.
If the corporation had stopped offering scholarships to students a few years back, it was exactly because of this type of behavior; it was because scholarships students were being subjected to Ijime.
Forgive me, Hime! It is because of me that you have to go through all of this!
***
It was very fearfully and reluctantly that I stepped out of the washroom, my hair dripping wet. I had been about to close the door behind me when, unexpectedly, a towel fell over my head.
Automatically, I reached up to touch it with my two hands, while I looked on my left at the person who had offered it to me.
I was astounded to see Gōjun Shoran standing there by the side of the door. And even before I could look on the other side at Shunsui Shigeizumi, the latter stepped in front of me, and bending over me, his hand went past my waist to close around for the handle of the door behind me. He closed it against my back, and without releasing the handle, he lifted his other hand to place his forefinger against my lower lip, asking me with a strange smile, 'So, what are you going to do, Hime Kirigakure? Are you going to let them do what they want?'
I stared into the reddish-brown-haired young man's eyes without blinking. I wasn't breathing anymore. He was hovering at me, and given my small size, his presence, together with that of Gōjun- who was standing very close- appeared to be very crushing to me. It prevented my mind from functioning normally to ponder over his question.
'In any ways, I do not intend to remain quiet and do nothing!' he stated, and straightening up, he held his hand out at Gōjun, without leaving me of the eyes once.
The latter handed to him a microphone.
A microphone?
Turning away, Shunsui Shigeizumi began to make his way down the corridor, calling loudly through the microphone for all the students who were present at the school to come out of their classes into the corridor.
Eh? I was puzzled. What does he intend to do?
Gōjun was following after him. He had his hands dug in his pockets, his face slightly turned towards the windows lining the one side of the corridor.
For a second or two, I stared after the two of them, intrigued, before I ran to catch up with them.
Shunsui was making so much noise that it was impossible for the students not to respond to his call, and within a few minutes, all the students of the school were assembled in the corridor in front of our main classroom.
'Agh! What's going on? Why are you calling us?' cried out one of the boys who were at head of the mob facing us.
He had covered his ears with his hands, like many others.
'Are you really asking me what's going on?' Shunsui shouted, on top of his voice, in reply, and the students almost let out a skirl at the deafening sound that his voice was making through the microphone.
Gōjun and I were forced to cover our ears too.
'Shunsui, the microphone!' Gōjun reminded him, and the reddish-brown-haired young man looked at him, said: 'Oh, right!', and handed it back to him, before his eyes returned onto the other students, and pointing at my head, he demanded at them, in his loudest voice, 'What is this?!'
The corridor became dead silent. Only glares spoke; the atmosphere becoming heavy and electric.
Upon this silence, Shunsui stated that he was not going to tolerate such behavior in his school. 'But, of course,' he carried on to say, 'I recognize that I cannot control all your actions outside of the school premises. This is why I have a proposition to make to you.'
'A proposition?' echoed a female student.
'A match. A kendō match, that will oppose those who are against our having scholarship students, and those who find no problems with it. If it is the protestants who win, they'll have the right to take on the scholarship students for the rest of the school year without any retaliation on my part, but if it our side who wins, then the scholarship students will have immunity for the rest of the school year- you will NOT pick on them!'
I stared at him in bafflement. Huh? Is he serious?
'Why should we accept?' demanded the same boy as before, and I realized that he and the two other boys standing by his sides were amongst the students who had thrown yogurt on me earlier.
He had dark-brown hair which was combed backward, his skin slightly tanned, while the other two were of fair complexion and had short black hair. He measured average height just like his two friends, but he was the bulkiest of the three.
A derisive smile came to Shunsui's lips, suddenly, and I was almost scared at the look it gave him.
'I know that I cannot get all of you rusticated from the school at the same time, but you can't imagine what else I can do. So, if I were you, I'd consider this proposition, because you can believe me, it's not a good idea to be on my blacklist!'
Everyone in general appeared to be intimidated and several meaningful looks were exchanged, before it was declared, 'Alright! We accept the proposition. It's a deal!'
'The match will take place next Monday, in the school gymnasium. It'll be a one-point match, with three competitors on each side. The first team to obtain two wins will be the victor.'
'It's fine with us.'
At this, Shunsui clapped his hands once, and grinning widely, he declared, 'Very well then! Let's compose our respective teams of competitors immediately. Apart from Gōjun and I, who else will be the third competitor in our team? Scholarship students?'
He looked over his shoulder as he made the call, and his grin widened as his eyes zeroed on me.
'Ah, Hime! You want to be in the list of potential competitors?!' he exclaimed, cheerily, sending an arm around my neck. 'I'm not very surprised by your decision. I knew that your courage wouldn't fail you!'
I cringed away, my mouth hanging open.
When-When-When did I say that I wanted to be a competitor?
Immediately, I looked behind of myself and realized that all the students who had been standing there were gone, and the only nine who had remained by and who were most definitely scholarship students too just like me, had backed away by at least two meters.
My expression turned awkward. It was just a misunderstanding. I didn't volunteer!
'Oi!' Shunsui muttered at the other scholarship students, then, his eyes narrowing at them. 'Don't you think that I'm going to let you get away with it so easily and end up doing all the work! From now on, all of you will be members of the kendō club! And I'll select one of you for the competition, if not Hime!'
Their mouth went agape, and they broke into cold sweat. It was not hard to guess that none of them were sportive. I was in the same care.
'Shunsui!' half of the girls of the school cried together, at that moment, and without any warning, they ran to place themselves by our sides, some clinging at his arms. 'We'll be your supporters, even if we do not approve the scholarship students' presence at our school!'
'Huh?' Shunsui uttered, contemplatively, while I watched the group of the girls with a cynical face.
'Sorry, Shunsui,' the remaining half of the girls of the school declared him, their expression tortured. 'We really cannot support you on this! It goes against our "no scholarship students" principle!'
And on these words, some of them broke into tears and ran out of sight.
A pr-principle?! I stared after them in disbelief.
'On our side,' declared the brown-haired young man of earlier, as he stepped forward with his two friends, putting his fist up in a fighting spirit, 'I, Satori Hasegawa, together with Shuji Toriyama and Aruto Hidaka, will be your opposing competitors.'
On this, Shunsui responded with an "everything is perfect then", after which the mob began to dissipate, all the students moving away to join their respective classes.
Sending his arm around my neck again, Shunsui began to usher me into our own classroom, Gōjun tagging along.
I looked at the reddish-brown-haired young man's face anxiously while we walked, to tell him with great agitation, 'I don't think it's a good idea for me to be in the list of possible competitors. I'm really not good in sports. Worse, I've never practiced kendō before!'
'Don't worry!' he replied, in a casual tone. 'The match will be based on two wins. Gōjun has a dan grade in kendō. He's been practicing since he's a kid. And I have to admit that I'm not that bad either. Gōjun and I will win our respective matches. The third competitor won't even have to fight. But you will all have to undergo some training, nevertheless, so that our team appears credible.'
Right! The club of kendō! I smiled uneasily. I would never have thought that one day I would join a sports club at school, and much less the club of kendō!
I was almost certain that it was all going to end up in a disaster; I had an ugly feeling for the competition.
As we reached my desk, suddenly, my eyes fell onto the number of graffiti that had been made on it; there had been none on the previous day. They included obscene drawings and swears, covering the whole surface of the table.
This, stirred up my already agitated feelings, and I felt fresh tears come to my eyes. But then, unexpectedly, Gōjun lifted my desk up in his two hands off the floor, causing me to freeze.
I stared at him in a mixture of shock and puzzlement. What is he doing?
Everyone was watching him just as well.
He carried the desk away to set it down next to his own, before he lifted the latter up and carried it to up me, putting it down in the place where my desk had been earlier, thus making an exchange.
I was more than astounded by his action, and found myself unable to speak. All that I could do was to stare at him voicelessly. He didn't speak a word either as he went to his place, with Shunsui following right behind, a smile coming to the reddish-brown-haired young man's lips.
Lowering my eyes, I took my seat, and placed my clasped hands in my lap, becoming lost in my thoughts.
On the spur of the moment, I hadn't truly realized what Shunsui Shigeizumi and Gōjun Shoran were doing for the other scholarship students and I. Their solicitude towards us didn't go without appreciation on my part.
I had to admit, though, that I was particularly surprised by Gōjun's behavior. After the comments he had made to me on the previous day, I would have thought that he didn't like people who came from a different background than him.
I guessed that I had just discovered a little something about him.
Gōjun Shoran would make nasty comments, but they were light-hearted- he wouldn't mean any of them.
Thank you for reading!
Glossary
Ijime - bullying
Kendō - a Japanese martial art; swordsmanship