The next day at noon, after school, Ichinose still had student union work, so it was difficult to explain the situation on the phone. Sure enough, lunch break was the most suitable time. As the bell rang, Hikigaya took a deep breath.
If this continues, it will most likely affect the exam and Ichinose's performance. This is not okay. He doesn't understand emotional issues very well. But after listening to the teachings of the hero Kanzaki, he did feel that something was slightly wrong on his side. Ichinose did confess to him out of gratitude.
Even so, he must also explain his reasons well. Otherwise, it's indeed unfair. After the teacher walked out of the classroom, several girls put the tables together and gathered around Ichinose to enjoy lunch.
Usually, they make homemade lunch boxes. Hikigaya usually has lunch at the club. Definitely, the best time. Taking a deep breath, Hikigaya walked silently behind Ichinose and others.
Feeling the encouraging glances of Kobashi Yume, Amikura Mako, and others across from him, it was inevitable to feel a little ashamed. "Ahem..." Hikigaya coughed a few times, looked to the side, and said, "Ichinose, I have something to tell you. Can you spare some time?"
"Eh?" Hearing his voice, Ichinose's shoulders shook, obviously frightened, and her heart beat rapidly. "Um," she nodded. Ichinose packed her lunch and followed Hikigaya out of the classroom. Neither of them spoke first, nor did they ask for their destination. Ichinose followed Hikigaya like a little daughter-in-law with her head lowered while carrying a bento.
Until they got to the wool department. "Hikki," Ichinose lowered her head a little shyly. Obviously, the other party has already rejected her. But why is her heart still beating so fast?
The heartbreaking pain she felt the day before yesterday seemed fake. Just being spoken to by Hikigaya made her feel healed instantly, and she was even happier.
"You want to tell me something..."
"Well...sit down first," Hikigaya hesitated for a moment and pointed to an empty seat in the classroom, but felt more at ease sitting down.
Hearing the words, Ichinose put the lunch box on the table and sat down, while Hikigaya sat opposite.
"Hmmmm," Hikigaya took a deep breath. Whether you refuse or agree, we cannot unilaterally deny Ichinose's feelings, but must tell his true thoughts.
"Sorry..." Hikigaya pressed her thigh, lowered her head, and said calmly,
"My reason for rejecting you is not that there is anything wrong with you, Ichinose, but that I want the real thing more."
"Eh? The real thing?"
Ichinose couldn't help but look up in confusion. What is that?
"I can't explain it well either," Hikigaya was a little hesitant. It seemed that it wouldn't work without an explanation. Besides, it shouldn't be a problem for someone as kind as Ichinose.
"Actually…"
Hikigaya forced a smile and said,
"I'm not as smart as you think, nor as good the others say. Ichinose, you may confess to me because you don't know me well enough." There's nothing to be embarrassed about. He didn't spend much time with Ichinose, and the number of times he met was even less than that of Kobashi Yume and others.
Ichinose was just deceived by gratitude, Hikigaya said, his tone a little bitter.
"To be honest, I often don't know what girls are thinking. Ignorance is a huge fear. You always want to understand the other person, and you impose your own conclusions on the other person without authorization, thinking that you understand the other person. It's just like what they said, it's really an arrogant idea."
"However, even if you impose your thoughts on the other person, it is just to make yourself feel at ease," he continued. Hikigaya couldn't help but laugh a little self-deprecatingly. Kanzaki has already seen through his true nature, and I'm afraid even Hoshinomiya-sensei and the others can see it. But no one dislikes them, they are really a group of kind and good people.
It's exactly what Kanzaki said. The reason for the rejection was attributed to Ichinose, but I just wanted to gain peace of mind. All I talk about is fairness to the other party.
But inside, there are selfish and domineering dirty thoughts.
It was so shameless and pathetic that even I was disgusted by my own thoughts. "I am such a selfish, bossy, arrogant person." No matter how Ichinose views it, the reasons cannot be attributed to the other party, you can only find the reasons from yourself. "But even so, I still want the real thing."
"Really..." Ichinose couldn't help but smile. Although it was not so exaggerated, she had long known that Hikigaya was such a person. Whether it's rumors or exams, Hikigaya used his own way to push forward the incident forcefully, without giving anyone a chance to refute or intervene.
It is indeed considered bossy and arrogant. Ichinose already knew this, but she couldn't agree with it in any case because of selfishness. That's okay. It is enough to know that Hikigaya cares about this relationship and that everyone around her is worried about her.
"I'm sorry,"
Ichinose said apologetically.
"I have made everyone worry, don't worry, I will not affect the exam."
"Ah, oh," Hikigaya couldn't help but nod. As expected, the kind-hearted Ichinose didn't care, which indeed made him feel more relaxed.
At least, Ichinose's expression also looked much more relaxed than before, so his self-introduction was effective.
"Besides," Ichinose scratched the hair beside her ear and said apologetically,
"I still don't quite understand what the real thing looks like."
"Oh,"
Hikigaya quickly raised his hand and said with some embarrassment,
"I don't know what I said very clearly, so don't take it to heart."
"Um…" Ichinose slowly shook her head. Although she didn't understand, she knew this matter must be important to Hikigaya.
"Please give me some time, I will think about it carefully and give you an answer then."
"Eh? You really don't have to worry about it," Hikigaya stood up quickly, his expression a little unnatural. Even after hearing such disgusting words, the kind-hearted Ichinose still couldn't leave him alone. He was indeed too kind. But if Ichinose was so serious, it would make him a little embarrassed.
"No,"
Ichinose shook her head,
"Actually, Hikki is right. I may really like you just because of gratitude, so I also want to find out what the real thing is. I just can't figure it out yet, it needs some time."
"Let me focus on the exam for the time being. Hikki, how about preparing lunch?" Ichinose said, pursing her lips and apologizing. Why is she like this? She fell in love with Hikigaya out of gratitude, so it must be unfair to him.
Even before confessing, Ichinose never even thought that she would be rejected, so she confessed like this without any preparation. This is not her arrogance. That heartbreaking pain may be the price she needs to bear.
Therefore, she also wanted to find out the answer. Does she really like Hikigaya Hachiman? Or is it really just what he said. Just for pure gratitude, just for pure repayment of gratitude.
Whether it's for him or for her, they all need this answer.
"Oh, I'll go to the cafeteria to buy it," Hikigaya responded with some embarrassment upon hearing what Ichinose said. Why does he feel that he has done something wrong, and it seems that he has caused new trouble for Ichinose?
But, as expected of Ichinose, she can distinguish priorities very well. Examinations are more important now.
"Is that so?"
"Then I'll go back to the classroom first!"
"Hikki should also feel at ease and be ready to try." Ichinose once again regained her energetic posture and left the club with her lunch box. Leaving the club, Ichinose covered her heart that was beating again and smiled unconsciously.
Actually, she had already understood this answer, and it could not be false. He just needs an answer that convinces Hikigaya. This answer, she will find it.
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