Chapter 38 - Part 38: I am home in his eyes.

"I know you're surprised. I always have ways of surprising people," she said with a light laugh. She was right; she had a knack for it.

"Um, that was supposed to be a joke," she added when she noticed our serious expressions.

"Duh, no one is laughing," Lizzy replied, her tone laced with annoyance. "What kind of game are you playing this time, Silvia?"

"Relax; I'm not playing any games. I meant everything I said on stage." She turned to me, her hand fidgeting nervously. "Can I have a minute of your time?"

If we were in a fantasy world, I'd think the real Silvia had been replaced by a shapeshifter. This was so unlike her; she was never nervous.

"No," Nick interjected, his tone firm. "Whatever you have to say, say it here."

Silvia took a deep breath, her eyes darting around anxiously. "I understand your skepticism, but please, just hear me out," she pleaded. It was clear she felt the weight of whatever she needed to say.

"Okay." I mustered the courage to respond.

"Mandy—"

"It's alright. This conversation is long overdue anyway," I assured my friends. Respecting my decision, they stepped back.

As Silvia led me to the rooftop, my writer's mind started concocting scenarios—what if she was pretending to be nice only to push me off the edge? I shook off the thought as we reached the top.

The view was breathtaking, with the city skyline illuminated below us. The rooftop was as beautifully decorated as the rest of the venue, the night sky twinkling above.

Silvia seemed lost in thought as she stared out into the distance, her expression a mix of sadness and guilt. I couldn't help but wonder what had gotten to her tonight.

"You hate me." I was the one to break the silence, causing her to turn around to look at me.

"When I first heard the idea of these fourteen days of Vallentine from you, I thought you just wanted to add to your popularity. Then I saw Harry go back to school, and I knew something was wrong. Today, you gave me all the credit in front of everyone, and it made me realize that you actually cared about making a difference. But no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise, I still come to the conclusion that you hate me. You don't do anything for anyone, Silvia; you are not selfless. You are the most selfish, narcissistic, manipulative, and evil person I have come across. So why don't you just drop the act and tell me what you truly want?"

"Wow, thanks for the praise," she said, her voice laced with sarcasm, but I caught a flicker of hurt in her eyes. I wasn't about to be swayed by her façade.

"You're right. I'm not selfless, and I didn't do everything tonight out of the goodness of my heart. I needed something from you," she continued, her tone shifting to something more serious.

A dry laugh escaped my lips as I recognized the true Silvia—the one I had always known. "So what is it that you wanted, oh her highness?" I crossed my arms, preparing myself for whatever game she was about to play.

"I want your forgiveness."

For a moment, I thought I'd misheard her. Surely, the wind was playing tricks on me. "What did you just say?" I asked, needing to hear it again.

"I want your forgiveness," she repeated, her expression earnest. "I know I've messed up in the past, and I can't take any of it back. But I'm tired of pretending everything is fine when it's not."

I stared at her, my heart racing.

"Are you drunk?" was the only explanation for her weird behavior.

"You heard me right. I want your forgiveness," she said, and I could only stare at her, my mind a blank slate. A whirlwind of thoughts surged through me, and I found myself bursting into laughter.

It struck me as absurd that she, of all people, would be asking for forgiveness. Was this some twisted joke? Or was she genuinely remorseful? Confusion and skepticism clashed within me as I struggled to find the words.

"Yeah, I'm out," I replied, turning to leave.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you three years ago," Silvia whispered. Her voice was barely audible, yet the wind carried it to me. I froze. She was serious. This was no joke, nor some other trick.

"Why?" was all I could manage to ask. Why now? Why, three years later? What was her true motive?

"Because…" she inhaled deeply, stepping closer. "Because I hurt you. A lot." She halted in front of me. Hearing an apology I'd waited for all my life didn't bring relief or closure; it only deepened my pain, reopening old wounds.

"And you just realized that now?" I scoffed, stepping back from her. "You think an apology three years later makes any difference?" I couldn't believe the nerve of this woman, returning to my life after all this time, expecting forgiveness with a simple statement.

The anger that had simmered beneath the surface erupted, and I could no longer hold back my frustration. "You think this apology will erase all the pain you caused?" I shouted, my voice thick with bitterness.

"You denounce me in front of everyone. You publicly humiliated me and tarnished my reputation. You took pleasure in seeing me in ruins. My honor was shattered because of you. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to end it all. I wanted to just close my eyes and not wake up, and here you are asking for forgiveness and expecting me to tell you it's alright because you used my idea and got my script into a big production. Well, let me tell you, it's not alright. It's not enough to simply apologize now and expect everything to be magically fixed." I was heaving, and the cool did nothing to calm the fire raging inside me.

"The damage you caused runs deep, and it will take much more than words to repair the pain you inflicted on me."

"I know what I did was horrible! Don't you think I know that?" Silvia snapped, tears streaming down her face.

"I know I'm a monster. I know what I did was wrong. I crossed every line, and I deserve your anger, your hatred, your resentment. I haven't slept properly since then. I thought I was getting back at you for coming to the university and trying to compete with me, and in my twisted mind, I convinced myself it was justified. But once it was done, I felt the weight of my actions."

She continued, her voice trembling with remorse. "I saw you broken, and believe it or not, that broke me too. I wanted to apologize, to take it all back, but I couldn't. I was naive to think that by being cruel to you, I could somehow make my own agony go away. I couldn't bear the thought of what I had done."

As tears streamed down her cheeks, she let out a dry, bitter laugh.

"I, more than anyone, know that it won't be easy for you to let it go."

"And you're damn right. This isn't something that just goes away," I shot back, my voice laced with anger and hurt.

"I understand that. But I won't stop until I earn your forgiveness. I've been spoiled and proud my whole life, and that's no excuse. Today was just the first step. I want you to know that I realize I hurt you, and it was wrong. I understand that forgiveness won't come easily, but I want you to know I regret what I did—I've been regretting it ever since. I've lived in torment this past year, though it's nothing compared to the hell I put you through."

"Just stop talking, please," I pleaded, my voice trembling. I couldn't take any more. The weight of her apologies was suffocating, and I needed silence.

"I understand that—"

"You understand nothing!" I snapped, cutting her off. Her words only poured salt into my already-open wounds.

"You…Silvia, can only imagine what I've been through, but don't you dare say you understand anything!" I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself under the crushing weight of my emotions.

"I'm no saint to let bygones be bygones and pretend everything's okay. I won't forgive you just to bring you peace." My voice shook with anger and hurt.

"You think that because you've lived with guilt for so long, you can suddenly absolve yourself of all responsibility? No! You can only imagine the pain and suffering you've caused. Your words can't undo the damage you've done, nor can they erase the scars that will forever remain."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her head bowed and tears streaming down her face. "I know my apology can never fully make up for the pain I've caused you. But please understand that I am genuinely remorseful and willing to do whatever it takes to make amends." She sniffed, pulling out her handkerchief to wipe her tears.

"Today is supposed to be a happy occasion, and I'm sorry if I've ruined it for you. Just know that I am deeply sorry." Her voice trembled with emotion as she paused. "I hope that, in time, you can find it in your heart to forgive me." With a heavy sigh, she looked up, meeting my eyes with sincerity. "Please read this." She handed me a letter, her hands shaking slightly.

Without another word, she turned away, her shoulders slumped and her steps heavy with remorse.

"How… how did you get my script?" I asked, stopping her before she could leave. I had been curious ever since her announcement.

"I just happened to come across it," she replied, a sad smile touching her lips before she walked away.

As she disappeared into the darkness of the night, I stood there, holding the letter in my hands, unsure if I even wanted to know its contents.

The night was filled with surprises and unexpected turns. Everything had unfolded in a way that left me confused and lost. My thoughts were scattered, my feelings so tumultuous that I began to see hazy colors swirling before me.

"Hey." I was pulled from my daze by a familiar voice.

It was Nick, walking toward me. Before I could utter a word, he pulled me into his embrace. Just what I needed to feel grounded and safe in that moment. The warmth of his hug wrapped around me like a protective cocoon, offering comfort amidst my swirling emotions.

"You heard everything," I said, more statement than question. I knew he wouldn't let me face Silvia alone.

"Mmmh," he replied, tightening his hold around me, and I melted into his embrace.

"I don't know what to do," I mumbled. His grip only grew stronger, a silent promise that he was there for me, no matter what. I could feel his steady heartbeat against my chest.

"It was easier to hate her when I thought she was just an evil bitch. But now that she's apologized and I saw the remorse on her face, I don't know how to feel anymore. It's confusing to see her in a different light, but I also don't want to let go of the anger and pain she caused." I buried my face deeper into his chest, overwhelmed.

"Why do you want to hold on to the anger and pain?" he asked after a while. I looked up to meet his gaze.

"I guess holding on feels like a way to protect myself, even though it's hurting me in the process," I admitted, my voice trembling.

Anger and pain had been part of my identity for so long that letting go now felt like losing a piece of myself.

"Then you don't have to forgive her now," Nick said gently, his voice a steady anchor in the storm of my emotions.

"As it is, her apology is long overdue, so it's normal to feel conflicted. Forgiveness is a personal journey; it doesn't mean you have to forget the pain you've experienced. Just take it one step at a time and forgive when you're ready." His words were exactly what I needed.

When Silvia apologized and I saw the guilt on her face, I felt pressured to forgive her. I worried I was the villain for holding onto my anger. But I knew I needed to take my time.

"You're right. It will take time, but I'll get there." I managed a smile. "Did you take a psychology course? You sound like a pro." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"No courses for me. Just years of learning from my own mistakes," he replied, kissing my forehead. "Well, you're good at this," I murmured, closing my eyes to savor the warmth.

"Do you think you'll ever forgive her?" I asked. He furrowed his brows in thought.

"I honestly don't know. When I think of her, I feel… nothing. Maybe I've already let her go." I recognized our shared experience—both wounded by our pasts.

"You always know what to say. I'm glad my friends dragged me out that day," I said, changing the subject. He chuckled, caressing my cheek.

"You mean when you looked like a lost puppy in the bar?" he teased, sparking a genuine laugh from me.

"Puppies are cute," I pouted. He laughed, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Yes, they are—just like you. Especially when you fell down in the park. Tell me, Kitty, were you blinded by my handsomeness when you tripped and fell for me?" I blushed, grimacing at the memory.

"Oh, please, don't flatter yourself. I tripped over my own two feet. Thank you very much." I tried to pull away, but he grinned and pulled me closer.

"Well, lucky for me. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had the chance to hold you." I rolled my eyes, unable to resist his charm. "Smooth talker, aren't you? So you fell for me first?" He chuckled and shrugged.

"Maybe I did; maybe I didn't. But one thing's for sure: I fell harder for you." My heart skipped a beat, and I smiled wider, winding my arms around his neck.

"I'm curious. What part of me did you fall for first?" I asked as we swayed to the music in the background.

"Mmmh, hard to say. It was the way you looked at me for the first time through the window. Your eyes sparkled with curiosity, and I was captivated by how easily you got flustered when I teased you. It was endearing, not to mention your wit."

"I know I'm irresistible," I said with a mock-serious expression, making him throw his head back in laughter. "So, how do you plan to court this irresistible lady, my dear gentleman?" I raised an eyebrow, feigning curiosity.

"Are you up for an '80s retro vibe? I could serenade you with the cheesiest love songs while we roller skate! Or maybe the '50s? We could hit a classic diner, share a milkshake, and listen to all those oldies." His playful suggestions made me giggle, each idea more ridiculous than the last.

"Or how about we explore the roaring '20s? Picture it: jazz clubs, glamorous parties, and us dressed as flappers, dancing the night away!" He winked, and I laughed again, the sound bright and carefree. I cherished this moment, how effortlessly he turned my negative emotions into pure joy and excitement.

"Easy there, unless you've got a time machine stashed away somewhere?" I teased, raising my eyebrow in mock suspicion. He chuckled and pulled me closer, our hands fitting perfectly together. "Who needs a time machine when we can create our own magical moments right here?" He twirled me around in a playful dance move, and I couldn't help but spin with him, our laughter mingling with the music drifting through the air.

"Just imagine," I said breathlessly, "if we keep this up, we'll have our own little time capsule of fun!"

"Then let's make it a night to remember!" he declared, and with that, we lost ourselves in the rhythm of the moment, dancing like nobody was watching.

The music from the ceremony drifted through the air, adding a magical ambiance as we laughed and spun, completely lost in the joy of the moment.

"Maybe we can skip the formalities and jump straight into creating beautiful memories together?" I suggested, leaning back against his chest, the warmth of him grounding me. Courting was fun, but wasn't there something exhilarating about diving straight into the heart of it?

With his arms wrapped around me, he replied, "I like that idea." His voice was playful yet sincere as he leaned down, whispering in my ear, "Does this mean you're mine now?" My heart danced like a marionette at his command, each word tugging at the strings of my emotions.

I felt a thrill run through me, a delicious mix of anticipation and exhilaration. How could I resist? In that moment, it felt as if the world around us faded away, leaving only the intoxicating pull of his presence and the promise of what was to come.

His breath, his touch on my skin, his smell—all of it reminded me that I was his completely. "I," I started, only to gasp out loud when I felt his lips brushing the nape of my neck.

"Mmh," he probed his warm breath deeper into my ear. I shuddered when he sucked lightly on my earlobe. I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch, as a wave of pleasure coursed through my body. I opened my mouth to speak, but only let out a soft moan, unable to form coherent words.

How was I to answer him when he was making me lose all sense of rational thought? Every touch, every whisper, every sensation he elicited from me was a testament to his power over me.

"I—" My words were cut short as the crowd downstairs erupted into a countdown, their voices echoing through the night. The interruption broke the spell, and I reluctantly made my way toward the edge of the building.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

As the clock struck midnight, vibrant fireworks exploded in the night sky, showering us with bursts of color. The dazzling display mirrored the tumult of emotions swirling within me—excitement, joy, and a hint of longing.

"Happy Valentine's!" the crowd cheered, their voices mingling with the crackling fireworks, creating a symphony of celebration. I turned back to him, my heart racing as the brilliant lights illuminated his face, revealing the same wonder reflected in my eyes.

In that moment, amidst the fireworks and cheers, everything felt electric and alive, as if our own story was just beginning.

I was thrilled and giddy upon seeing such a grand display of fireworks. It felt like the perfect start to a new chapter in our lives. Nick held my hand tightly, and I turned to find him staring at me. I love how his eyes are always on me, and I pray it stays that way in the long run.

"I appreciate this … beautiful,"

"I am Nick,"

'Nice to meet you, beautiful.'

I prefer beautiful, it suits you."

"I love wild cats,"

"Why? You want me to be your boyfriend?"

I blushed when I recalled how he liked teasing me. It was clear that he enjoyed making me flustered, since we never have a normal conversation without flirting and teasing.

I smiled at him, a rush of excitement bubbling in my chest as I lifted my foot and wrapped my arms around his neck. The fireworks sparked in his eyes, reflecting the whirlwind of emotions swirling within me. Leaning closer, I pressed my lips against his, silently answering his question.

The taste of his kiss was intoxicating, igniting a warmth that spread through me like wildfire. In that instant, I understood that what we shared was something truly unique and special, a connection that felt alive and electric. I couldn't wait to discover where this path would lead us.

When we finally pulled apart, both of us gasping for breath, I softly breathed out a "yes," my heart racing with anticipation. The fireworks continued to burst overhead, but it was the warmth of his embrace that truly illuminated my world, making everything feel vibrant and magical.

...

Dear Diary,

The wind fluttered through the pages of my journal as we cruised down the highway, the road stretching out before us like a metaphor for life's endless possibilities.

"Did you read the letter?" I looked up to see my beau, sunglasses perched on his nose, his eyes glinting in the sunlight.

His strong hand gripped the steering wheel, steady and reassuring. I nodded in response to his question, tapping my pen against the page of my journal.

"I read it," I replied, referring to the letter Silvia had left for me. "It was from Harry." At first, I thought it might be another plea for forgiveness from Silvia, and I'd considered burning it, but my curiosity won out.

"He wanted my forgiveness," I continued, my gaze drifting to the stunning scenery whizzing by outside the car window. In his letter, Harry expressed that he had wanted to apologize for some time, but the restraining order against him had prevented any direct contact.

After everything that happened, he wanted to meet in person to apologize but realized that his presence still made me uncomfortable. So, he chose the safer route of writing a letter instead.

"At least he tried," Nick commented, glancing at me. "How are you feeling today, love?" He intertwined his fingers with mine and brought my hand to his lips for a gentle kiss. I smiled and blushed at his affectionate gesture.

"Honestly, I'm feeling better," I replied, meaning every word. "I don't know if it's because she asked for my forgiveness, but I've been thinking about Silvia a lot today. Not her bitchy attitude, but the good times we had, the moments when we genuinely laughed and enjoyed each other's company." It was odd how the memories flooding back were more about our fun times than the betrayals.

"It's natural to reminisce about the good times," he said, kissing the palm of my hand. I giggled at the ticklish sensation. I tried to pull my hand away, but he held on firmly, his eyes warm and inviting.

"Let's forget about everything today," he suggested, his gaze locking with mine.

"We will, as long as we don't run into any accidents. Focus on the road," I teased, playfully freeing my hand.

"It'll be your fault, you know. You're just so damn beautiful!" he declared. Instead of reacting to his swearing, I melted under his charm, falling even deeper in love. His words felt like music, my heart's remedy, and the sweetest medicine.

We were finally going on that road trip he had promised me, and I could hardly wait.

"Beautiful," he called after a moment of silence, drawing my gaze to him—the man who had stolen my heart.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love," he whispered, and in that moment, everything felt perfect.

14th Apr

And now, I have found my light in him."

Happy Valentine's Day.