The guys looked nervous as they sat down, and I glared at them.
"What was Jackson talking about? An assassin? Really? Like, what the fuck?"
Deke cleared his throat and looked terrified, which was an odd look for such a formidable man.
"I was rogue before I became part of Silver Moon pack and I was an assassin for hire. I was, well still am, highly skilled and the best there is. But I don't take contracts anymore." He looked frantic. "That's not me anymore. Please, don't let this change how you feel about me."
I stared at him not saying anything, not knowing what to say. He waited and then slumped back, looking heartbroken and defeated, lost. My heart clenched. I never wanted to see that expression on my strong mate again. He looked at his lap, his hair falling to shield his face and his hands clenched into fists. His voice was thick and he sounded heartbroken.
"Your silence says all I need to know. I'm sorry, Zoey. I won't come near you again. I know I'm not worthy of being your mate with the things that I've done."
Deke stood and turned to leave. Jer and Ash's faces looked pained, and they rubbed their chests over their hearts. I knew they had to be feeling the pain and dejection that Deke was feeling because he thought I was rejecting him. I felt their eyes on me, judging me, and it felt like they found me lacking, all without even giving me a chance to really process anything.
"Sit the fuck down."
He turned back to me and looked startled at my hard tone. Warily he sat back down, his eyes never leaving my face. I gave a small glare to Ash and Jer before leveling my gaze at Deke again.
"Deacon. Why didn't you tell me about this before?"
He swallowed.
"I was afraid."
My voice was soft.
"Afraid of what?"
"That you would hate me. That you would be disgusted and fear me. That you would leave me and reject me."
"And what did my silence tell you since you think you know what I'm thinking and feeling?"
"That all my worst fears came true. That you don't want me as your mate because of the things that I've done."
"And what things have you done?"
"I've killed. I've tortured. I'm a murderer. I'm not proud of my past and I've worked hard to not be that man anymore. I keep my skills up because I need to be able to do anything to keep my pack safe. But I know the stain of the blood I've spilled, all with no remorse, will always be with me."
He looked truly broken. I shoved Jer's arms away from me hard and stood and looked at all three of them.
"I hate that you kept this from me. Don't you think this is something I needed to fucking know? This isn't information like what's your favorite color that you forgot to tell me. Anything else I should know?"
They were silent. I nodded. I turned and walked to Deke. He sucked in a breath as I sat in his lap and held his head so that he couldn't turn away from me.
"I'm sorry you felt you had to hide this. And I'm hurt you thought I would reject you because of what you did in the past. But let me make this very clear. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PAST. At all. I only know the Deacon Fisher sitting right in front of me and I love him with all my heart. I told you before I accept all aspects of you. That means this too. I honestly feel safer knowing you have those skills. I know you can handle yourself in a fight and that you'll do anything to protect me. That anyone who tries to hurt me will suffer in ways I couldn't even think of." I gave a small smile at his stunned look. "And again, this just makes you that much hotter. I mean, a badass assassin that melts just for me? Fucking amazing and such a turn on."
I glanced at the other two.
"Hell, you two better do something to catch up. Right now, Deke's hotter than both of you by leaps and bounds."
I gave Deke a gentle kiss but stood from his lap as he went to put his arms around me. It was hard to do since I wanted him to hold me so badly, but what I had to say now needed to be said. This wasn't something I could just let go. If I did, who knew what they would hide from me in the future. I looked at each of them in turn.
"But I'm disappointed and very hurt right now. Honestly, my heart is in pieces."
I couldn't help the tears as they streamed down my face.
"Why, baby?"
Deke's voice was horse and thick with emotion.
"Because you all assumed I would reject Deke for his past. Hell, I'm the last person to judge anyone by their past. You didn't trust me. And you judged me without giving me a chance to speak, judged me before even giving me a minute to process anything. And you found me lacking because I didn't know what to say immediately when this was all sprung on me." I choked on a sob. "You hurt me worse than anyone ever has. It hurts so much to know all three of you think so little of me to think I would hold anything in the past against any of you. So, fuck you very much for how little you really believe in me, for how little trust you have in me and my love for you."
I turned and ran up the stairs to my room and slammed the door and locked it. I threw myself on my bed, curled up into a ball, and cried. My heart was turning to ash in my chest. This is why I didn't let people close. This was why I didn't love. Fuck. I couldn't stay here. Not anymore. I wiped my eyes and packed the few things I had before I came here. I changed out of the pretty dress Ash had given me and put back on my old clothes. I wasn't going to take anything they gave me. I left the cash they had given me in a neat pile on the dresser. I opened my window and stepped onto my balcony. I knew there was a rose trellis that ran next to my window. I was light and I climbed onto the railing and grabbed onto the trellis. Carefully I made my way to the ground, grimacing as the muscles in my arm twinged in pain.
I gave a last look in the window and saw the three of them arguing. I still loved them with everything I was, but I couldn't be with someone who thought I was so shallow as to care about who they used to be over who they were now. Couldn't be with someone who wanted all my secrets but couldn't trust me with theirs. Tears filled my eyes and blurred my last look at the men who would hold my heart forever. With a shuddering breath I turned away from the window and made my way across the yard until I came to the fence. I knew the full security measures weren't in place yet, so I threw my bag over and then, with some difficulty, worked on climbing over. It took some time but finally I was at the top. With a thump I landed on my feet next to my bag. I gazed at the house that had been the first place I could call home.
Suddenly I felt an arm grab me around my waist and a cloth was held over my nose and mouth. It had a strange smell and I struggled but it got harder to move as I breathed in whatever was in the rag. As the world went dark, I heard a voice in my ear.
"Got you now, you fucking cunt. It's time to play."