"But I don't want to leave New York, I exclaim, I want to go to Santa Barbara University and work at the Met! Please don't force me to do that!"
My father slaps me violently.
"That's enough! You're going to do what you're told!" He comes out of the room by slamming the door. He calls from the corridor: Don't let her go down until you're sure she won't embarrass me any more!
I cry in my hands and Manuel sits on the bed next to me. He gives me a pitiful look and hands me a glass of water.
" Please, we don't want you to faint again."
"You can't let Father do this to me." I sob while pushing back the water.
"You should be honored to marry the most powerful man in the Outfit."says Mario, clenching his teeth.
"Drink this damn water, hydrate yourself so that we can go home. I'm tired of keeping you."
"How can you say that? She's our sister!" argues.
"Father is right, it's time for both of you to know your place. The only reason the Made Men have daughters is to exchange them, and the reason they have sons is to make them soldiers!"Mario pushes his fingers into Manuel's chest.
"She is nineteen years old, she has dreams! Her dreams will go to hell if she marries Alerandro. She will only be a way to give him an heir, do you think it's an honor?"
" One more word and I put a fucking bullet between your two eyes!"warns Mario who lingers, then leaves when Manuel is definitely still.
"Please stop arguing with him, thank you for defending me, but it's useless." I wipe a tear that runs down my cheek and finally take the glass of water for a long sip.
"I'll see if I can do anything more…"
"No. I... I can marry him. It won't be so bad, I mean at least he's not old, fat and ugly."I have a hiccup of laughter and I end up sobbing even louder.
Manuel surrounds me with his arms and hugs me against him.
" I'll see if I can stay in the Outfit for good, so I can be with you. You will need someone to watch over you."
"Father will never agree with that... but it would be nice to have you here. I will feel less alone." I sniff.
Down there is a strange silence, apart from a few distant sobs from Alerandro's cousins. I look around me, my eyes rest on my future husband, he raises his glass towards me and drinks a sip. He puts down his glass and leaves, looking royally angry. I swallow, but no one looks more angry than my father and Mario.
"It looks like we're going to become in-laws." says Jimmy next to me, an alcoholic drink in his hands.
"You know?"
He growls.
"Of course I know. You know that I hoped to have the honor of marrying you", he said, biting his lower lip with a seductive air.
My heart beats.
"Well, my father wants the best possible union and it would be with the new Capo."
Jimmy drinks a sip of his glass and offers it to me.
I shake my head. "My father forbade me to touch alcohol other than the wine we always have for dinner."
"It's true"said Jimmy with a laugh.
"Tell me Veronica,are you still a virgin? Isn't it?"
I blush.
"It's a very inappropriate question."
"Well, as my father is not here to question you and see if you are made for my brother…"
"See if I'm right? You mean if I still have my virtue!"I clench my fists.
"That's right."A mocking smile appears on his face.
"Or should I check if you're not lying?"
"You won't do anything like that!"My face couldn't be more red.
Jimmy turns his head back and laughs. He was just joking.
I want to leave, I want to go back to Santa Barbara .I never thought I would end up hating Venezuela.
No, my father chooses the most revealing dress I brought with me.
"You will wear it, leaving your hair long and curly. Your mother will help you put on makeup. Oh, and put on your biggest heels."
I feel like a rich prostitute, clothes are expensive, but make me feel cheap. My breasts are pushed upwards and hang from my low-cut crimson red dress. Mom put on too much mascara, so much dark eyeshadow and too much red lipstick. Black heels are barely passable, they give me at least five centimeters, which makes me only medium-sized. My father always tells me that men like big girls with long legs. Even with heels, I can't be a big girl, only a medium-sized girl.And the average size does not highlight me.
" You are beautiful." said my mother, hitting her hands against each other and crying again for the third time since I put on makeup.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I feel beautiful, even if I don't have much money. My blond hair is curly and looks soft and thick. My blue eyes are so pale that they have the color of an iceberg. The red dress contrasts with the color of my skin and hair.
"We leave just after the party. Manuel will watch over you and Alerandro will have his bodyguard here. You will be safe, call when you can." Mom kisses my hand.
"Take care of yourself, Mom." I quickly held her in my arms. This is happening to me, what type of nightmare is this? I'm here, tears streaming, forced to marry. My brother watching , his eyes filled with sadness. My dad sold me! What type of dad would do that? All that matters to him is the mafia. At the same time, I kind of understand him, it was for our own good.Although my relationship with my dad is a love and hate relationship ,I love him and I will want him to love me the way I love him.Rather than giving my hand like that without thinking of my own feelings.