"By the way, the most important people in that village are —in descending order— Nfirea, his crush Enri Emmot and finally his grandmother Lizzie. You must protect these three people no matter the cost. Everyone else is expendable. If need be, sacrifice your life to protect Nfirea. That's it. Is that all, Lupusregina?"
"Yes! Thank you very much!"
"Now then, Lupusregina, I will forgive you for this lapse. Now that you know my objectives, you will not be forgiven next time. Do you understand?"
"Of course!"
"Very good. Then go. Complete your assigned tasks."
Lupusregina bowed and exited the room, followed closely by Narberal, who seemed more like a policeman escorting a criminal. After the two of them vanished out the door, Ainz turned to the Guardian beside him.
"Now then, Aura. Do you know anything about the Giant of the East and the Serpent of the West—"
Suddenly, a loud shout came from outside the room.
"Seriously, Ainz-sama is amazing ~su! I can't believe he thought so far ahead, and in such detail! He must be some kind of monster ~su!"
The voice that came through the thick door was not very loud, but it was enough to interrupt their conversation. Given that they could hear her words so clearly, how loudly was she yelling in the corridor, just outside?
"...Should we tell her how thin the doors are?"
"I think she's just too excited, let me go pound some sense—"
There was a smashing sound from outside the door, and then the sound of something heavy being dragged into the distance.
"...Aura, I don't think you need to go any more. Back to the previous topic; let me know what you've found."
"Yes. Er, I'm very sorry, but I haven't heard anything about the Giant of the East and the Serpent of the West. After we fought that tree monster called Zy'tl Q'ae, I did a quick sweep of the forest, aside from the underground caverns, which I didn't investigate. I didn't find any strong enemies..."
"Well, if they're only as strong as Hamsuke, I understand why you wouldn't have paid any attention to them."
Even a gardener could not be expected to know how many ants were crawling in his domain. Missing out on things due to the difference in strength was a problem.
"I am truly sorry. Then, Ainz-sama, will we be doing house-cleaning?"
"That sounds like a good idea. We'll swat those pesky flies and put the forest under Nazarick's complete control."
"Got it! Then, I'll send some of my pets along!"
"Umu. It seems a little boring that way. I'd like to see what sort of monsters this Giant of the East and Serpent of the West are, who can rival Hamsuke."
"Then, shall I drag them here in chains?"
"No, I think I shall go visit them in person. Thanks to Hamsuke, I've found another way of appreciating the value of antiques as well."
Ainz laughed at the puzzled expression on Aura's face.
"Well, of course that's not all. I also want to see if I can arrange a test for Lupusregina..."
***
Nazarick Time 19:16
Fenrir crept leisurely through the night-time forest. Neither the branches which stuck out or the coiling vines hampered Fenrir's movements or the two people on its back. In fact, they seemed to move like incorporeal wraiths, without even disturbing a twig.
This was the effect of one of Fenrir's skills, [Landwalker].
"According to my vassals' reports, the Giant of the East's lair seems to be just ahead."
There was no tension in Aura's voice, even in this world of darkness, cut off from the starlight by the densely-packed trees. Ainz and the others were not like humans, who lacked special visual modes. They took in the darkened forest around them like it was broad daylight.
"Is that so. We would be very lucky if the Giant of the East and the Serpent of the West were to gather in the same place. However, that's probably being greedy. If the Serpent of the West is not here, then I'll leave its disposal to you, Aura."
"Yes! I'll do my best! But how shall I deal with these fools who dare make hostile moves on you, Ainz-sama?"
"Let's try communication first."
Aura looked behind herself ─ at Ainz ─ with a puzzled look on her face.
"Eh? Weren't we going to make them swear themselves to us?"
"That's because the Giant of the East and the Serpent of the West are unknown monsters. Starting with an attempt at rational communication ought to be better from just about every angle. If they're monsters which don't exist in YGGDRASIL, then I would like to keep them.
"You're so kind, Ainz-sama."
There was no mockery within Aura's tone.
"Is... is that so? I feel that only the worthy deserve my kindness ─ followed by those who belong to Nazarick... I'm doing this because they might have some value if they're on Hamsuke's level. I suppose you could call this seizing an opportunity?"
"You mentioned Hamsuke just now, but is it really that valuable?"
"Oh yes. It's quite useful as a guinea pig."
Hamsuke was currently studying to be a warrior under Zaryusu of the Lizardmen. Incidentally, one of the Death Knights made by Ainz was also studying under him.
Training the two of them ─ a hamster and a monster ─ was intended to see if they could acquire warrior class levels. This was particularly true for the Death Knight. If he could gain warrior levels, that would greatly increase Nazarick's combat power.
While he felt it was probably impossible, he still had to conduct the experiment to be sure.
"Are you having the blacksmith make armor for Hamsuke because it's that important?"
"You're quite well-informed. That's also one of the reasons. If I have to ride it onto the battlefield in future, so enhancing its defense might be critical."
Hamsuke should have no problem wearing full plate armor once he had warrior class levels. Currently, putting it in armor greatly decreased its evasion and mobility rates due to its weight. Ainz felt that it needed training for that reason. However─
Armor hampers its movements since it doesn't have warrior levels, that much is the same as the game... no, I can't even wear metal armor at all due to the game's restrictions. From that point of view, its restrictions are a lot more lax... if only there were a second Hamsuke, then I could study the differences between the two..."
These restrictions which resembled those of the game were still a mystery even now. If he let Demiurge and the others perform in-depth investigations, they might be able to find the right answer, but for some reason, Ainz did not want to do that.
This is a magical world, and it might run on physics that are vastly different from ours. Perhaps all I can do is force myself to accept that this is just one of the principles of such a world. Just assume that anything could happen...
"Ainz-sama, what's wrong?"
"Hm? No, it's nothing, what is it?"
"No, it just seemed like you were thinking, and I wanted to ask if something was the matter."
"Oh, indeed. I was just thinking about some things, it's nothing much."
"I see."
Aura seemed relieved and faced forward once more. Ainz looked at the back of her head ─ which was covered in silky golden hair ─ and his eyes roved down. His eyes passed over her slender back, and then they focused on his hands ─ which were wrapped around her slender waist.
She's so slim; are children's waists all so thin?
Having never had children of his own, AInz was curious, and he could not resist the urge to pat her waist, like he was inspecting her. Then, Ainz raised his hand to lightly pat her back. However, he did not use much force because he was mounted on Fenrir.
However, Aura jumped up and suddenly jerked around.
"Uwaaaah! What... what is it, Ainz-sama?!"
Her face was very red.
In fact, it was so red that even someone without darkvision might be able to see how red it was.
"Ah, it's nothing, I just thought your waist was very thin. Have you been eating well? You're equipped with items that negate the need for eating and drinking but you can still eat, right?"
"I... I can. I won't gain any magical enhancements from doing so, but I can still eat."
In games like YGGDRASIL, humanoids and demihumans had designated lifespans, and in turn they could grow; conversely, heteromorphs had no maximum lifespans and so they would stop aging after a certain period. If that character aspect had carried over to this world, then Aura and Mare would slowly grow older. Ainz did not want their growth to be affected because they had not received proper nutrition as children.
While his companions were not around, the growth of these kids was Ainz's responsibility.
"You need to eat well, okay."
"Yes! I'll eat well and make Shalltear regret it!"
Ainz had no idea why Shalltear had suddenly come up, but he did not inquire into it.
"...Items that remove the need for eating and drinking might affect growth, so depending on the situation, perhaps you should swap them out for other items. Growing up... perhaps one day, you two will have lovers of your own..."
Aura and Mare were very cute children, and when they grew up, they would surely be very handsome and beautiful. Ainz imagined men and women of all sorts confessing their love to them ─ although, Ainz had never had experiences like those, so what he imagined had all come from TV shows.
Perhaps he had been influenced by the previous topic, but for some reason he imagined a huge pile of Hamsukes.
"─Hm?"
He visualized a young Aura and Mare being surrounded by vast amounts of Hamsukes. It seemed quite pleasing, but it was completely different from the plan which Ainz had in mind.
Hamsuke's related to rodents, so Hamsuke ought to be capable of reproducing in vast quantities. Is it best to sterilize it? Although I'd like to let it breed a little more... I wonder if there are any males of its species?
"Eh? It's still too early for that, Ainz-sama. I'm only 70."
"I... I see, you're right. You're still young. Well, anyway, Aura, who do you like most in Nazarick? What's your type?"
While Ainz had no experience in love, he still got a little jealous whenever he saw dashing lads and pretty girls being all lovey-dovey on the roadside. However, Ainz was sure that he could genuinely wish the NPCs well if it were them.
"I like you the most, Ainz-sama."
"Haha, well, that's good to hear."
Ainz was quite happy to hear such flattery from a young child like Aura. He loved the children (NPCs) very much, and how could he not be pleased to hear that they liked him too?
"Then, who do you like the most, Ainz-sama? Who do you like the most between Albedo and Shalltear?"
"Haha. Well now, I have to say I like you very much, Aura."
"─Eh?"
Ainz caressed Aura's head from behind. The soft strands of her hand fell from between his fingers.
"─Eh?!"
Should I start considering the problem of sex education? If there are Dark Elf schools, should I send Aura and Mare there to study so they can grow into good adults? What would Bukubukuchagama-san think if she were here? But still, schools... school love comedies... Peroroncino-san once raved about it before, and he said he wanted to make a Nazarick Gakuen with Suuraatan-san. Where did the data for that go?
"─Eh─!"
"What is it? You're being too loud, Aura."
"Ah! I... I'm sorry. The Giant of the East's lair ought to be nearby, but..."
"It's fine, there's no need to apologize. Leaving that aside, about the future─"
"The... the future?"
"Y-yes. Is something the matter? You look flustered... did something happen?"
"No... not at all, it's nothing. Yes. Um. You were talking about the future?"
"Oh, yes. I was thinking that if there was a kingdom of Dark Elves, it might be worth paying them a visit, and at that time, you ought to come along too."
"Eh? ...Ah, yes... of course! So that was what you meant by the future. I get it! Please allow me to accompany you there. Also ─ we're almost there, Ainz-sama."
In the darkness ahead of them, they could see a decidedly unnatural light source through the gaps in the forest.
"I see. Aura, forgive me, but could you station all the magical beasts you brought along around this region? I'll be making some preparations on my end as well."
Ainz used one of his skills and summoned powerful undead creatures.
An sinister-looking knight appeared, mounted on a pale white horse. More appeared every time Ainz used his skill.
"All right, four ought to be plenty. Now then, Pale Riders. Stand by in the sky, and if anyone tries to flee, capture them."
The Pale Riders indicated their understanding without saying a word, and with a tug on their reins, the pale horses leapt up and galloped into the sky. The Pale Riders discorporated, passed through the tree branches, and flew into the air.
"Alright, we've set up an encirclement. Now all we have to do is appraise them."
"Yes! Ah, don't we need to test their durability?"
"We'll save that for a last resort. My aim is to settle this without any combat. I'll try and discuss mutually beneficial topics first."
That was the truth. Ainz was not looking for a fight. While he was perfectly willing to be ruthless if there were benefits to it, that did not mean that he was a cruel person. Ainz would not step on the ants crawling around in his path. A rational dialogue would be best.
Fenrir approached the gap in the forest. It was called a gap in the forest, but the truth was that it was simply a place within the forest where trees did not grow.
This area was covered with withered trees, just like the mountainous region around the Evil Tree. There were some areas which ended up as withered forests for special reasons. There were many of those reasons, and in this case it was probably because of monsters.
The trees had been felled and scattered everywhere. It would seem someone had tried to build a large structure and failed, and had then thrown the logs around in a fit of rage.
"How laughable. Aura, they were probably trying to build a structure like yours. The work of fools is truly unsightly. They live in caves and don't know how far out of their depth they are, resulting in this sort of thing."
"Indeed. Ainz-sama, their lair is over there."
There was a fissure in the scarred ground, which had been burnt barren.
"...Nobody's standing watch. How careless. Alright, it can't be helped. We'll knock next time."
With Aura by his side Ainz walked toward the entrance to the underground cave. He peered inside, and it looked like a gentle slope, and the interior seemed quite spacious. The ceiling was high, and it would seem even large creatures could live inside without problems.
...This reminds me of dungeon delves in YGGDRASIL. Back then, we used to get curious and excited every time we discovered mountain caves and the like.
If this were in the past, they would have let Tigris Euphrates and people like him lead the way, while Ainz ─ Momonga ─ would follow behind them. Then, they would summon monsters, and in Ainz's case he would have the undead walk ahead of them, allowing them to trigger traps as they forged boldly ahead. This was known as a warrior's disarm, or a summon disarm.
Those were the days...
The memories of the past lightened Ainz's steps, but within a few seconds, his cheery mood vanished.
The stench from below made him wrinkle his nonexistent eyebrows. It was not poison gas, but rather, an odor of beast fat and decay which clouded up the air.
Is this a stinking gas cloud trap? I don't think these cave dwellers could set such an elaborate trap... perhaps it formed naturally.
Ainz was undead and did not need to breathe. He was completely immune to gas-vector attacks. Aura was also protected by magic items, so if this stench was some sort of attack, it ought to be ineffective. That being the case, this was probably just an ordinary stink.
"It seems the Giant of the East is not a particularly clean person. I hope he's at least a little intelligent and can speak with me."
"Yup. Although, that might be a little difficult. Going by the footprints, this cave seems to house several lifeforms of the same kind, but they're all barefooted. The footprints are large, and going by their size, they all seem to be over two meters tall."
"I see... so he must be one of them."
Ainz and Aura had not stopped walking, and as they descended the slope, they saw two monsters at the base of the slope.
"Ainz-sama, those are... Ogres."
The two Ogres were tearing at something and shoving it into their mouths. A new reek wafted over to Ainz and Aura.
Ainz slowly extended his finger and smiled bitterly. If this were a simple dungeon hack, he would have killed the Ogres quietly, and then advanced forward without making a sound to wipe out all the other enemies; however, his objective this time was different.
"...I'm not here to massacre everyone, so I need to communicate in a friendly manner ─ oi, you Ogres over there, sorry to interrupt your meal."
The two Ogres turned simultaneously to look at Ainz, and then they roared.
The echoes within the cave were intense, and there was no way to accurately judge position, but it would seem a similar howl had come from the depths of the cave.
"Well, this is quite a crude and noisy doorbell ─ stand back, Aura."
He glared as the Ogres ran over. "What a pain," Ainz sighed. That was because he realized that they did not wish to communicate with him.
"Skelton! Skelton! Enuh-my!"
The Ogre screamed hoarsely as it came up to Ainz, and then swung its club at Ainz without a moment's pause.
"I have─"
The Ogre's club whistled through the air as it swept at him.
"-To apologize for barging─"
It struck Ainz with a thump, but a mere nonmagical club could not possibly hurt him.
"─Into your home─"
The Ogre raised its club again and hammered at Ainz.
Ainz's field of vision wobbled slightly as the club struck his head. While it did not hurt in the least, it was still quite annoying. That said, if anyone set foot into Nazarick, Ainz would certainly be angry enough to want to kill them. WIth that in mind, it was only natural for them to want to attack him, so Ainz should probably take the blows.
Once an envoy of peace drew a weapon, there would be nothing left to say.
The other Ogre approached slightly later. It did not swing its club, but reached a hand out at Ainz. It had probably seen how the attacks of the other Ogre had proven ineffective, and wanted to grab him instead.
Ainz quirked his eyebrows. Of course, there was nothing on a skeletal face which could move.
Ainz was originally willing to let the Ogre grab him. However, his darkvision-capable eyes saw the blood staining the Ogre's hand.
"Disgusting."
Ainz immediately produced a staff from thin air and swung it. While this staff did not possess any special magic powers, it was focused on inflicting bludgeoning damage, and with a single strike, the head of the Ogre who was reaching out for Ainz burst like a rotten grape. A mix of fresh blood and brain matter showered the Ogre beside it, which dropped its club and took a step back.
"You... you, no, skelly..."
"It is quite vexing for you to lump me in with other Skeletons. I'm here to see your boss, the Giant of the East. Could you go fetch him? Although, I'm fairly sure he'll come even if you don't shout."
Ainz waved to bid the Ogre get lost, and it promptly turned and fled into the cave.
"...Good grief. If they had seen the discrepancy in our respective strengths from the start, we wouldn't have to waste this time."
Ainz felt the area where the club had struck him as he finished descending the slope.
There were several Goblins ─ more of masticated corpses, really ─ where the Ogres had been just now. While their remains were little more than chunks of meat and it was impossible to tell how many there had been, there must have been more than just one or two.
Ainz and Aura detoured around that area as they continued downwards.
"What a gaffe. I was annoyed and used too much force. I'd originally planned to avoid killing before negotiations broke down, to proceed in as friendly a way as possible..."
"It couldn't be helped! It's the fault of those filthy Ogres who tried to touch you, Ainz-sama!"
"Hearing you say that pleases me. Punitto Moe-san once said, 'punching them in the face is a good way to make the other party behave'... or was it Warrior Takemikazuchi-san who said that?"
"Since the Supreme Beings said so, then it must be correct!
Ainz could not recall which of these two polar opposites had said that. Just then, a horde of monsters emerged from the depths of the cave. All of them were far taller than a human being.
"Well, if it isn't a pack of Trolls. While calling them Giants smacks of false advertising to me, it's not as though it's a complete lie."
Trolls were giants with long ears and noses. They had very ugly faces and their muscular bodies were as revolting as that of any heteromorph. They wore what seemed to be tiger-skin clothes their heads emerged from their shoulders.
They were nearly three meters tall, stronger than Ogres, and possessed of powerful regenerative abilities. It was said that unless they were killed with fire or acid, they could come back from the dead even after being reduced to scraps of meat. There were six Trolls here, and 10 Ogres on top of that.
The one which caught Ainz's eye was the Troll standing at the head of these monsters.
It was more muscular than the other Trolls, and its ugly face exuded confidence.
It was better equipped than the other Trolls too.
It wore leather armor which looked like it had been sewn together from several animal hides. Its mighty arms bore a greatsword which was larger than the ones which Ainz used in his Momon guise. The greatsword seemed to be magical, and the central fuller oozed a slippery liquid towards its edge.
"Is he on Hamsuke's level?"
"Feels that way."
That being the case, this Troll ought to be the Giant of the East. That being the case, what sort of Troll was he? Ainz studied the Giant of the East carefully.
Trolls were highly adaptable monsters. They varied greatly according to their environment.
For instance, there were Volcano Trolls who lived in volcanoes and who were resistant to fire. There were Sea Trolls who were adept at swimming in the ocean and could breathe underwater. There were Mountain Trolls, who lived in the mountains and were especially strong. There were also Toll Trolls, rare trolls who lived under bridges. There was a never-ending variety of mutant species and subraces like those.
In that case, what was the Troll standing before Ainz specialized in?
Trolls adapted to cavern living were called Cave Trolls. But they looked different from this one.
This was a new species of Troll which he had encountered for the first time in this world ─ this unknown monster kindled Ainz's collector spirit.
***
The Troll known as the Giant of the East had achieved a very rare form of evolution.
He was a Troll who had been born amidst countless battles, adapted to them, and specialized in fighting ability. If one had to name it, his species would be War Trolls, a particularly outstanding example among the many Troll subraces.
One could say that its combat prowess was unrivalled among others of the same age as him.
Granted, his body was smaller than that of a Mountain Troll. However, the muscles of his body ─ his physical abilities ─ far outstripped those of the latter species. In addition, he did not use a primitive club that could be easily swung with brute force, but instead used his inborn abilities to skillfully wield a sword ─ a weapon which was inferior even to a club if one did not know how to use one. One could say he was a Troll who had awakened his warrior abilities.
***
"You're the Giant of the East, I take it?"
After hearing no denials, Ainz pointed slightly to the right of the Giant
"Then, I believe that chap over there is the Serpent of the West. Am I correct?"
Someone with ordinary eyesight would surely think he was pointing at empty air. However, Ainz could clearly see the heteromorph hiding there, as though it were illuminated by the sun's light.
"Perhaps you think you've hidden yourself with invisibility, but my eyes can see through it. Stop wasting your effort and answer me."
A monster appeared out of what had originally been thin air. It had probably dispelled its invisibility.
Indeed, it was a snake. No, to be precise, it had a snake's body. It had an old man's torso from the chest up, but it had a serpentine form below that. It was a heteromorphic monster.
Unlike the Giant of the East, Ainz had seen monsters like this in YGGDRASIL before, and so he could immediately state the name of his race.
"A Naga, then. While it wouldn't be wrong to call you a Serpent, don't you have a better name for yourself? No, there's already the case of the Wise King of the Forest, so this was only to be expected, no?
"If thou couldst see through my invisibility, then thou art surely no ordinary─"
"─What are you doing here, skeleton?!"
The Naga was only halfway through his words when a thunderous voice filled the cave and drowned him out. The Giant of the East took a step forward.
Ainz turned to face his counterpart.
"First of all, let me get this straight; I am not a Skeleton. I wish to correct that mistake of yours."
"What are you, if not a Skeleton? The king of the eastern lands, Gu, permits you to state your name!"
"─Gu?"
Ainz had no idea what he was talking about for a moment. He thought that it was some kind of title, like a King or a Chief, and it was only after a while that he realized it was the Troll's name.
"I see, so your name is Gu. Pardon my delayed introduction; my name is Ainz Ooal Gown."
At that moment, laughter filled the cavern.
"Fuafuafuafua! A coward's name! A soft and weak name, unlike my strong and mighty name!"
The other Trolls laughed distastefully in response to those words.
"A cow─"
Ainz stopped Aura before she could take a step forward.
"It's fine. Don't get upset over a trifling matter like this. Remain calm. We're here to talk, we're ambassadors of peace. Oh yes, just for reference, why do you think I'm a coward?"
"Ah, his ilk takes long names to be a sign of timidity, O mysterious undead,"
The old man's face of the Naga creased with a mocking smile as he spoke from the side.
"So he's not an antique, but trash. Then, do you feel my name is that of a coward's as well?"
"This one certainly would not think so, because this one bears a long name as well. Indeed, this one is the Serpent of the West of which thou speak'st ─ Ryurarius Spenia Ai Indarun, O invader Ainz Ooal Gown. This one has often hoped that his mind would be as developed as his body, but if that were the case, he would have dominated this forest long ago; truly a dilemma."
"...You have just saved your own life."
A look of suspicion crossed Ryurarius' face as Ainz let his innermost thoughts slip out. Unfortunately, just as he wanted to clarify, Gu and the Trolls stopped laughing.
"So what are you weaklings doing here?! Come to feed me? Bones are delicious and crunchy! I'll eat you starting from your skull!"
"I am the one who ordered the undead and the Golems to build the fortress in the forest. You've heard of it, haven't you?"
The mood changed in an instant. Gu and his band radiated vhostility, while Ryurarius was filled with caution.
"I know! You pest! If not for this damn snake making noise I'd have killed you long ago! This saves time! A coward and a black little runt!"
"Ah, so we can talk. In truth, I came to negotiate with you."
Ainz gestured to Gu to kneel before him.
"Swear yourself to me if you want to live."
"Are you retarded?! How could we serve a coward! I'll eat you right here and now! Then I'll eat that runt behind you!"
"Gu. He rules that fearsome structure. You underestimate him at your peril! And the Dark Elf behind him; this forest belonged to them before the Demon Tree chased them away. They might well be mighty foes ─ but he is not listening."
Ainz could not help laughing merrily.
"Hahahaha! You're better at barking than a dog, meatball. How about this. I, whom you call a coward, challenge you, who bears a mighty name, to a one on one fight. I trust you won't run in fear? If you're afraid, then get on your hands and knees and beg me for mercy, and I could find it in myself to rear you as a slave."
"Very good! I can handle a mook like you by myself! I'll chop you to bits and eat you all up!"
"Very well. Since you have made your choice, negotiations have broken down. Aura, stand back. I want to play with him by myself."
Just as he finished saying that, the upraised sword hacked down on Ainz. This was the blow Gu had struck with the greatsword he held, which was over three meters long.
Ainz did not move, simply took the hit square on his body.
"─Huh?"
"What's wrong? What's so surprising?"
Ainz was untouched. Gu's ugly face twisted in surprise, and this time he chose a sweeping slash. However, the result was the same as before; Ainz took the blow head-on.
"Muuu?"
Gu backed up several steps. He looked at his sword, and then at Ainz. He proudly turned his back on Ainz, then walked up to one of his minions.
In the next moment, the greatsword whirled and cut into one of this Troll minions. The sword cleaved into the troll's neck and shoulder, effortlessly parting its flesh, and a geyser of fresh blood spewed forth.
The Troll screamed stupidly, at the top of its voice
Gu watched in satisfaction as his minion spun and fell to the ground, and he nodded. That was probably to verify that his weapon was working.
"I see, is that Trollish regeneration at work? Quite an impressive sight when you witness it with your own eyes."
The wound surface healed over swiftly. It was not so much turning back time as a fast-forward of the recovery process.
Gu must have known that the Troll would regenerate before testing his blade on him; but the evil look on his face as he looked down on his fallen minion suggested that he would have cut the creature up anyway, even if it could not regenerate.
"It is the privilege of the strong to kill or spare the weak. However ─ it deeply displeases me."
Ainz stepped forward. He was no longer in the mood to play around.
Gu gripped his greatsword tightly, waiting for Ainz to approach him, step by step.
"Gu! That Ainz Ooal Gown is no mundane individual! Let us band together to fight─"
"Shut up! You sit there and watch, coward! ─Ugooooooh!"
An explosive series of slashes rained down on Ainz. The combination attack was made using physical strength that far surpassed the capability of the human body, and it was among the most destructive assaults Ainz had ever faced from the inhabitants of this world.
However, his strikes could not blow away a castle wall, and neither could it scar the land. How could it possibly harm Ainz?
The greatsword's edge sliced through the wind, and Ainz took it full on his body.
"Good grief. Could you not crumple my clothes?"
Ainz seemed to find it all uninteresting, and he turned away after tugging on his robes and straightening them out. Then, a thought apparently came to mind.
"Ah, are you satisfied yet?"
"Goooooooh!"
Gu decided that slashing attacks were ineffective, and so he took one hand off his greatsword and threw a punch. This blow struck like a huge maul. If it hit a human being, they would surely have been pulped by its power and sent flying.
Yet, Ainz took this blow ─ which was assuredly fatal for a human being ─ straight in the face. After that, he calmly dusted off the place where Gu had struck him, like he had been touched by dirty hands.
Gu ceased his attack. His ugly face contorted into an even uglier shape, and he glared at the unmoved Ainz.
"So, is that end of the attack you're so proud, he of the brave name?"
"It's only your defense ─ guwaaaargh!"
Ainz stepped forward to close the distance between them and swung his staff, which destroyed half of one of Gu's legs. Unable to stand, Gu collapsed heavily to the ground..
"Even with that acorn-sized brain of yours, you should be starting to realize that cowards aren't necessarily weak, no?"
The Trolls and Ogres watching the fight shouted in shock as they saw their leader's disgraceful state.
"Haaaah." Ainz was beginning to tire of this, and sighed. The fact that they did not understand the situation even at this point proved that these monsters were worthless. Of course, it would be a different matter if they were smart enough to try and flee.
"Aura, seize him. He is the only one who cannot be allowed to flee."
Aura immediately understood Ainz's terse order, and sprang into action. In the blink of an eye, she had caught up to the Naga, who was trying to sneak away invisibly.
"Got him, Ainz-sama. What should I do with him?"
Ainz paid no heed to Gu and looked to Aura, who had the Naga by the neck. The way he treated Gu made one thing clear to everyone present.
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─In other words: he could not be bothered to deal with the Gu fellow before him.
Gu growled from between his teeth at this utter humiliation, but Ainz did not care.
"Curse you, brat!" The Naga's serpentine body started constricting, and it wrapped around Aura. "I'll crush you to aiiiieeeee!"
A cold, calm voice came from the midst of the balled up Naga.
"You know, I can't watch Ainz-sama like this. If you continue struggling, I'll use more force and crush your throat. Don't worry, you won't die from it."
Her small fists were enough to make the Naga realize the difference in their respective strengths, and the Naga slowly loosened its coils with a strangled wail.
"Aura, while time is money, wastefulness is also foolishness. Please move a little further away so he doesn't end up getting killed by accident."
"Understood!"
Aura leisurely dragged away the Naga ─ who weighed several times more than herself ─ as she left. Ainz shifted his gaze back to Gu, who had barely managed to stand up again after his regeneration caused his shattered leg to bulge up mightily as it repaired his ruined flesh
Ainz might not be as tall as his opponent, yet he towered over Gu.
"Oh, so you're healed. Then let us continue."
Ainz rapped at his shoulders with his staff, then calmly took a fighting stance. His attitude said that he had no intention of defending himself.
"You... you, what... what did you do? What are you doing? Magic?"
Gu slowly backed away as he held his sword, while Ainz stepped forward like he was giving chase. Gu's stride was shorter than Ainz's. The distance between them was greater than when the battle had begun.
Ainz snorted.
"─Hm? Well, isn't this strange? I, the one with the cowardly name, am advancing, while the bravely-named Gu-sama is backing off. I wonder why that is the case?"
Someone replied from behind in a deadpan voice:
"That's because Ainz-sama's name is the brave one, and that weird Gu name belongs to a coward! Isn't that right, snake?"
"Y-yehh! Ainz Ooal Gown-shama ish the greatest!"
After hearing the sweet little girl's voice and another voice which was on the verge of tears, Ainz nodded several times.
"I see, I understand now. Short names are the mark of a coward ─ the name of Ainz Ooal Gown belongs to a brave and wonderful person, am I correct?"
"─Why you!"
"Shut up, coward."
Gu's anger overcame his fear, and he swung his blade at Ainz as though to hack him in two. Ainz did not parry or dodge; simply swung back with his staff. Ainz's blow did not permit Gu to block with his sword or evade.
The staff shattered part of Gu's body.
"Abbbahhhhhhhhh!"
Gu's piteous wailing sparked fear in the hearts of his underlings as they watched the battle.
"Well, that's a Troll for you; with their regeneration, they can even come back to life after being reduced to mincemeat. Still, pain does seem to hurt. That was the weakest attack you made so far. All you were thinking of was protecting yourself. You feared being hit by me. It was a coward's swordsmanship."
Before Ainz was Gu, whose head was half its normal thickness. A normal creature would have died long ago, but his head was slowly returning to its normal shape.
Gu's restored face was twisted into an especially disgusting shape. It was etched with terror. He was even more afraid than before; it was the reaction of one who had been broken by fear.
"You... what, what are you? Why couldn't I do anything to you?"
Ainz tilted his head, and then slowly spread his arms.
"...I am Death. I am he who brings death to you."
"You... you lot! Kill him!"
"Good grief... I expected nothing less of a coward, to renege on the terms of our duel... still, it does suit your name. So I will forgive you."
Ainz seemed very happy as he said this.
Gu's minions were scared stiff by this mysterious monster, and so they remained still. That was because despite their stupidity, they could feel the sheer power of Ainz, and they had certainly witnessed enough of it. They were probably wrestling with themselves, unable to decide who was more fearsome. Nobody dared to move; they simply looked back and forth between Ainz and Gu.
"Hurry!"
But they still did not move. They could not move.
The same applied to Ainz. There was a delicate balance here, one which rooted everyone in place. If Ainz made a move, this balance would collapse, and they would all flee for their lives.
It would be troublesome if they escaped ─ just the thought of hunting down and killing each and every one of them felt tiresome.
"In that case, let's do it this way. Playtime is over."
Ainz activated one of his abilities, which he had not had the chance to use, and was too powerful for this world.
[Despair Aura V (Instant Death).]
The surging aura billowed out from Ainz.
The Trolls, Ogres and Gu went limp and collapsed like puppets whose strings had been cut, slumping to the ground.
The fallen monsters did not move. It was clear that although their bodies were still warm, the flames of their life had been utterly extinguished.
An old man's voice rang through the silent cave.
"What... what didst...thou do?"
The Naga was curled up into a ball, doing his best to stay away from Ainz. Ainz turned around and replied:
"I simply used a skill. Trolls can regenerate, but that does not immunize them to instant death attacks... honestly, you lot are worthless. I was simply thinking that rather than slaughtering you all outright, I should see what uses you might have, but since they refused to bend the knee, I decided to kill them all."
"This one gladly consents to be your subordinate! It is only natural for the weak to obey the strong! From now on, this one shall commit his entire strength to thee!"
Ainz calmly looked down upon the prostrated Naga, and then shrugged weakly.
"...Eh, whatever, it's fine. Besides, I came here to talk anyway."
"How... how fearsome. Thou think'st nothing of this one. Thou regard'st this one, who has long ruled the western forest, as little more than an animal-shaped pebble by the roadside."
"No, I am somewhat more interested in you than that. Didn't you mention something about the Dark Elves. Tell me everything."
"But of course... of course I shall. This one shall gladly tell thee everything this one knows! Although, ah..." Ainz waved to bid the Naga continued, and he said: "Wilt thou spare this one's life after this one tells his tale?"
"That I promise you. If you are loyal to me, if you serve me sincerely, I will reward you appropriately... but first, a question. Where are your minions? Or are you like Hamsuke... the beast who ruled the southern forest by herself?"
"No, this one has underlings. However, this one came for the sake of negotiations, so this one did not bring them along. That was because this one's minions cannot make themselves invisible, so once negotiations broke down, they would have no way to flee."
"I see. Now, for my next question: do you have any Troll minions?"
"Only one."
"Excellent. In that case, can I have him take the place of the Giant of the East? No, that's too... that might be a little troublesome. Very well. In a few days, I will bring my subordinates to ─ no, you will go to the structure that she built. Aura, release him."
"Is that really alright?"
"It's fine. He's already sworn his loyalty to me. If he betrays me, I'll simply think of some other way to use him."
Aura's slender hands released the Naga's neck, leaving hand-shaped bruises on his flesh.
The Naga was still nervous, but he was much more relieved now. Ainz paid him no heed, but walked up to Gu's corpse.
"I wonder what sort of data a Troll Zombie contains."
Ainz could create undead beings from corpses with a skill. While they were little more than Zombies or Skeletons, he could make stronger Zombies if the corpse of the base creature was powerful enough. A more famous example of those would be Dragon Zombies.
Ainz picked up the greatsword which had fallen to the ground. It was far longer than Ainz was tall, but thanks to the basic principle of magic arms and armor, it shrank down to a size which best fit Ainz.
If Ainz tried to swing a sword which he could not equip, he would be forcibly disarmed, but just picking it up did not pose any problems to him.
"Should I strengthen that village's fighting power? In that case, perhaps this magic weapon might be the best choice. Besides, there's no value in bringing it back to Nazarick."
"Ainz Ooal Gown-sama!"
Isn't he done yet? Ainz tiredly turned to look at the Naga.
"This... this one will never betray thee. Only the fools who have never seen thy icy gaze that regards all before him as mere ants would dare betray thee."
"I did not think my eyes were as expressive as that... or is this a skill of yours too? Even Demiurge, that master of scrutiny, could not tell what I was truly thinking."
"It hardly qualifies as a skill, but this one can still sense whether someone is interested in this one."
Ainz thought, perhaps that's a Naga racial ability.
"Really now... very well, I understand. Stop wasting time and gather your minions. This is my first order."
"Yes!"
-x-X-x-
[ Part 4 ]
[Nazarick Time 21:07 ]
Demiurge's elegant form appeared within Ainz's office. First, he bowed deeply to the seated Ainz, and then nodded in deference to Mare and Cocytus, who were waiting within. He spared the maid assigned to this room a glance of acknowledgement.
Ainz answered with a look, and then spoke to Entoma via [Message].
"Alright, Entoma, tell Lupusregina she has permission to set off. Those three must be protected no matter the cost."
『Understood. I will relay your orders to Lupusregina.』
Demiurge walked to the center of the room, free of worries. His stylish stride made Ainz envious.
How shall I describe it, every move he makes overflows with confidence. Is it because his back is very straight?
Demiurge halted crisply, bringing Ainz back to his senses.
"It is good that you've come, Demiurge."
"Yes! I thank you for summoning me before you, Ainz-sama. Have you finished speaking with Entoma?"
"Everything is fine. She reported back to me, and discussed the matter with me. She has passed this test."
"Wonderful. In addition, I thank you for making time for me, Ainz-sama."
"Pay it no heed, Demiurge. It is only fitting that I should match myself to the man who has done the most for Nazarick. In addition, you are not late, so do not worry... now then, tell me what you think."
Ainz handed the piece of paper he was holding to Demiurge. Demiurge received it, and Ainz saw him quickly scan it from top to bottom before asking:
"As you can see, this is a menu, but what do you think of it? The meal is for a human male and female, and possibly a child."
"...I think that any human being must consume whatever you deign to provide for them without complaint, Ainz-sama. However, I feel that is not the answer you seek, therefore ─ if there is a child, they might not enjoy foie gras. In addition... hm, lighter dishes might be more ideal."
"I see. That certainly bears consideration. I thank you."
"You honor me with your praise... Ainz-sama, do you intend to invite people to the Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick ─ into the sanctuary of the Supreme Beings ─ as your guests?"
"Indeed. I intend to be hospitable."
Or rather, it was not so much hospitality as entertaining them. This was a form of coercion backed by wealth, intended to keep them on good terms with him.
"Is that wise?"
"Does it matter? Is there a problem?"
"No, none at all. After all, whatever you speak is correct, Ainz-sama."
In the past, when this had all been in the game world, the Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick had played host to very few people other than the guild members. At the very most, they had invited the little sister of the guild member Yamaiko ─ whose player name was Akemi-chan ─ a few times. However, the guild did not forbid inviting anyone. It was simply that nobody had thought to do so.
Which is why my friends ought to have no issue with me inviting Nfirea and the others. Invaders are different from guests.
Ainz then turned to Demiurge ─ who was pondering something ─ and the other two Guardians who had been waiting in the room before he asked:
"Guardians; are you ready to enter the baths?"
"Forgive me; Mare and I were planning to borrow bathing equipment along the way."
"I see. Then, Cocytus ─ oh, you brought yours along. Then we shall meet in the baths. Increment, if anyone comes, have them wait for me here."
"Understood."
After hearing the maid's reply, Ainz stood up and left his room. After ordering the vassals who usually trailed him around to remain where they were, he led the way to the baths, which were also on the 9th Floor.
Ainz very much wanted to chat with Cocytus as they walked side by side, but Cocytus was a very serious person and would never do such a thing. This made Ainz feel a little lonely. Cocytus probably had not read his heart, but he approached Ainz and asked:
"Ainz-sama. There. Seemed. To. Be. Fewer. Eight. Edge. Assassins. In. The. Room. Just. Now. Did. You. Send. Them. Somewhere?"
Ainz felt a little disappointed when he discovered that it was work-related, but he also comforted himself by thinking that this was what Cocytus considered casual conversation, and so he replied to Cocytus. He very nearly let the excitement creep into his voice, but in the end he decided that it would be better to keep it a secret.
"They are at the E-Rantel inn. Narberal is waiting there in case we have an unexpected visitor. They ought to be observing the situation from afar."
"Is. It. Not. Dangerous. To. Leave. Narberal. Alone. By. Herself?"
"Quite. If anyone plans to attack, they ought to do so now."
"I. See. So. She. Is. Live. Bait. Then?"
"Indeed. If the person who brainwashed Shalltear is observing our every movement, this bait will surely have them drooling. After Momon defeated the mighty Vampire Shalltear ─ granted, she was known by a different name ─ nobody attempted to approach him. That being the case, if Momon is not around, leaving the magic caster all by herself..."
"They. Will. Take. The. Bait?"
"I don't know. But if they do, I will be a master baiter."
Ainz mimed the action of pulling up a fishing pole.
"Will. We. Mobilize. All. Our. Forces. Then?"
"As if. I won't do that. First, we'll feel out our opponent. If they're as strong as us, or stronger, then we'll have to be more humble."
Cocytus groaned. He understood the reasoning behind that decision, so he had no choice but to bear with it.
"The. Logical. Part. Of. Me. Knows. It. Is. Only. A. Temporary. Thing. But. Emotionally. I. Find. It. Hard. To. Keep. My. Cool."
"Bear with it until we've checked them out thoroughly and found our opposition's weaknesses. Once that happens, I will have them taste the purest of pain. I will not forgive them for daring to brainwash Shalltear and forcing me to put her down."
Even if they were players, Ainz did not feel the slightest bit of empathy for them. The only people Ainz cared for were the NPCs or his old friends. If anyone aroused his ire, he would subject them to a fate worse than death in order to show them the foolishness of their ways.
"Repay good unto good and evil unto evil. Is that not to be expected?"
Ainz smiled coldly, as a surge of excitement welled up inside him. If the opposition really were players, then he could conduct far better experiments. The first of them would probably be the one he dared not perform with himself ─ that of death.
"An. Eye. For. An. Eye. And. A. Tooth. For. A. Tooth. Then?
"Correct. However, did you know? That phrase was originally meant to warn against excessive retribution, so I did not use it. That's because I intend to pay them back with interest."
Punitto-san said that, Ainz added in his heart.
"Oh! I. Expected. No. Less. Of. You. Ainz-sama. Not. Only. Are. You. A. Supremely. Skilled. Warrior. But. Your. Intellect. Is. Beyond. Compare. Truly. I. Am. In. Awe."
Ainz did not need to look back to feel the wave of respect pressing down on him from behind.
"Then. Do. You. Plan. To. Spend. The. Entire. Day. In. Nazarick. Ainz-sama?"
"No, after I bathe with everyone, I'll take care of some work here before going over there in the middle of the night, because there's a lot of things which need to be settled over there as well. How about yourself?"
"I. Plan. To. Temporarily. Return. To. My. Position. Guarding. Nazarick. Since. The. Matters. Which. Require. My. Personal. Presence. At. The. Lakeside. Have. All. Been. Concluded."
"Once you return, the only ones working outside will be Demiurge, who has many tasks to complete, Sebas and Solution, who are gathering information in the Royal Capital, Aura, who is building a base in the forest, and then Narberal and myself."
"I. Find. It. Hard. To. Accept. The. Fact. That. A. Supreme. Being. Must. Personally. Handle. Work. We. Should Have. Taken. On─"
"Haha, forgive me, Cocytus."
"There. Is. No. Need. Ainz-sama. You. Rule. This. Place. And. So. Your. Every. Word. Is Law. What. I. Just. Said. Was. Mere. Foolishness. In. Addition─"
The mood in the air seemed to have changed, and Ainz found it odd. Looking back, he saw Cocytus looking somewhat gloomy ─ although he could not tell from his face.
"If. We. Were. As. Capable. As. Demiurge. You. Would. Not. Need. To. Exert. Yourself. In. The. End. It. Boils. Down. To. Our. Lack. Of. Ability─"
"That's not true. When everyone made you, they sought to create the right person for the job. That being the case, the most important thing for you is to finish your assigned tasks. Frankly speaking, it doesn't matter if you can't do anything else. Although, the fact that Demiurge is somewhat more intelligent and more knowledgeable means he can tackle a wider range of problems."
Cocytus did not seem to be able to accept that, so Ainz continued:
"In that case, you should focus on slowly learning how to handle more things. For instance ─ you are now in charge of the Lizardman village, so you should have learned a lot from it. Ruling that village will surely aid you in the future. As long as you slowly proceed, step by step, someday you will come to be on par with Demiurge."
"Can. I. Really. Do. That?"
"I feel that you can't say it's impossible," Ainz replied in a roundabout manner.
"Nobody can surpass Demiurge's intellect. In order to equal him, you must walk an arduous road. But I believe your efforts will not be wasted."
The two of them continued silently along the corridor. Soon, Cocytus quietly said:
"Thank you, Ainz-sama."
"I don't think I've said anything which deserves your thanks. Alright, Cocytus, we're almost at the bath. Cheer up before Demiurge and Mare come."
"Yes!"
***
Spa Resort Nazarick was located on the 9th Floor of Nazarick. It was a comfortable place of leisure which boasted nine separate outdoor-themed baths and 17 indoor-themed baths for both men and women. The most impressive of them was the Cherenkov Bath. Its warm water radiated an actinic blue light, allowing bathers to enjoy a decadent atmosphere.
(TL Note: Cherenkov radiation is the blue glow typically associated with underwater nuclear reactors)
Ainz, who had reached the baths in Cocytus' company, was utterly shocked when he saw an unexpected someone.
"Ainz-sama <3!"
It was Albedo, who seemed to be ending her sentences with hearts today. No, it was not just Albedo alone. Shalltear was behind her, along with a tired-looking Aura.
In contrast, Demiurge and Mare were nowhere to be seen. Perhaps they were waiting for Ainz and Cocytus in the changing room.
"A-Albedo, what are you doing here?'
"Hm? I simply came to bathe with everyone... you too, Ainz-sama?"
"Ah, erm ─ yes, I did. What a coincidence, Albedo."
"What a lovely coincidence indeed! ... I hear that it's best to engage in some light exercise before bathing in order to work up a sweat. Shall I sweat with you, Ainz-sama?"
A chill ran down Ainz's spine.
"Well, table tennis is not a bad thing..."
"Aw, I didn't mean that. Really, you should take a hint..."
She closed in on Ainz with the technique of a level 100 warrior ─ something which Ainz, as a magic caster, could not hope to evade ─ and reached out a finger to Ainz's chest, which was covered only in a robe, in the hopes of tracing letters on it. However, her finger, as soft and delicate as a minnow, instead slipped into the space between Ainz's ribs.
"Ah."
"Ah."
Both of them made the same sound in unison.
What a stupid scene. Ainz smiled bitterly, intending to address Albedo, and then his face froze up.
"I put my finger into Ainz-sama's precious place..."
Albedo's face was flushed red, her eyes dewy, and an overwhelming fragrance rolled out from her body. That scent was very similar to the odor he sometimes smelled on his bed.
"─Oi, I asked before, but has she always been this weird?"
Ainz tried his best to speak in a normal tone to Aura, who was trying to hold back a struggling Shalltear.
"...Forgive me, Ainz-sama, a lot of things happened. Erm, please treat this as stress that she built up after working hard for Nazarick every day. Yes, please think of it that way."
"If... if that's how it is, then it can't be helped. Er... umu. Albedo, thank you for your hard work every day."
Ainz planned to swiftly retreat, but someone grabbed his robe. No, there was no need to look; he already knew who it was.
"Albedo, what are you doing? Has something driven you to abandon all restraint?"
"What you said to me just now... it lit a fire in my heart, and it made my belly twitch. So, Ainz-sama..."
"Er, no, hang on, wait a minute, calm down, Albedo! Co-Cocytus!"
"Understood!"
A gust of chilling air filled the passage. The sudden temperature change seemed to have brought Albedo to her senses, and the light of reason returned to her eyes.
"I. Cannot. Sit. Idly. By. As. Someone. Disrespects. Ainz-sama. Even. If. It. Is. The. Guardian. Overseer. Herself."
Cocytus cut between Ainz and Albedo. He had his platinum halberd in hand, a wordless threat that he would gladly use if if Albedo tried anything funny.
"─I apologize, Ainz-sama. I seem to have forgotten myself."
"I accept your apology, Albedo."
After hearing his master's judgement, Cocytus stepped aside. However, he did not put away his halberd.
"I understand your duties are weighty, and that there are times where you wish to cast everything aside and relieve your frustrations. In any case, go take a bath and let go of your stress. Thank you, Cocytus."
Saying so, Ainz sought to scurry into the male bath, but the footsteps from behind him made him halt.
"...Albedo, why are you following me? Perhaps you do not know, so I will tell you, but this is the men's bath. You should be going to the ladies' bath."
"I was hoping to wash your back, Ainz-sama?"
"...Denied. Besides, I'm not bathing alone. The male Guardians will be with me. Do you wish to appear naked before them?"
Just as Ainz thought, she might actually say it's okay because she's a Succubus, Albedo promptly replied;
"In that case, there are family baths elsewhere─"
"Family baths are not meant to be used that way!"
"But Ainz-sama, I feel it's unfair how you're only spoiling the men."
"That's right, that's right," Shalltear whined as she covered Aura's mouth. However, Aura ─ who had been forcibly dragged along ─ had dull, blank eyes that simply hung open. Behind them was Cocytus, who seemed quite unhappy.
We're just bathing together, what does she mean by spoiling them... the same thing happened last time; is something wrong with Albedo? Could it be she's gone a little mad ever since then?
"Albedo, permit me to say something. I prefer women to men. I am purely heterosexual."
Albedo seemed to want to say something, but Ainz raised his hand to interrupt her.
"It is certainly possible that such a relationship might take place someday. However, I have not even figured out our place in this world, and so, as the leader of this organization, it is inappropriate for me to pursue such a relationship with you all."
"Uuuu..." Albedo knit her brows.
"Besides... you are all like the daughters of my friends ─ I am conflicted about that."
"I was wondering what was happening at the entrance. It would seem you are all inconveniencing Ainz-sama."
"O...onee-chan... she... she's dead."
"I'm not dead," a weak girl's voice replied.
"I've been waiting a long time for you two."
"Forgive our tardiness. However... the Guardian Overseer should probably learn how to rein her emotions in."
Demiurge's typically narrowed eyes were cracked open just a little, allowing the hostility within to seep through. The air around him turned dangerous, highlighting how scary a typically gentle man could be. Seemingly affected by this, Cocytus appeared ready to do battle with Albedo.
The smile remained on Albedo's face. No, it had grown wider.
"─You fools!!!"
Ainz could not hold back his anger and shouted at them.
"I forbid you Guardians to quarrel in front of me! You idiots!"
All the Guardians trembled, and fell to their knees in unison.
"Please forgive us, Ainz-sama!"
"...Alright. Get up, all of you."
After seeing that everyone had risen, Ainz used a gentle tone, like he was chiding children, to admonish them.
"Do not squabble over such petty matters. That will only disappoint me. Do you understand?"
As he heard them simultaneously reply that they understood, Ainz let his anger vanish.
"Alright, let's go bathe and clear the air. The men will come with me. Also, Aura, I order you to keep an eye on the ladies. Keep an eye on the two behind you and do not let them mess around."
"Understood!"
Aura's eyes blazed furiously. She probably felt that this was a chance for a counterattack. Such was the scorching heat rolling out from her that Albedo and Shalltear were visibly shaken.
Ainz entered the door hung with the "Men" curtain, and deliberately ignored the racket coming from behind him.
He shed his clothes in the locker room. If he were normally equipped, he would have to remove many items and it would be very troublesome, but he had prepared before coming here, and so he shed his clothes swiftly.
After quickly disrobing, he went on into the baths.
Every time I strip off, I always wonder how exactly I can move...
He was a fleshless skeleton, and the fact that he could actually move was a mystery to Suzuki Satoru. That said, moving skeletons were a common sight in this world, so all he could do was take it for granted. Even so, he had his doubts from time to time.
"I'll be heading in first."
"Please... please wait for me!"
A naked Mare scampered up behind him.
He might have been a trap, but looking at him like this, he was most certainly a boy.
His body was that of a child's, with virtually no muscle mass. The fact that his body, which felt so soft, could exert so much force was probably due to some unknown natural law of this world, much like Ainz's own.
As he gazed upon Mare's nude body and pondered that question, Ainz chided him:
"Don't run around in here. The floor is wet, and it's dangerous."
It was impossible for a Guardian to die from falling and hitting their head. However, after seeing Mare's child-like body, he could not help but worry for him.
"Er, yes. I'm very sorry."
Do you have to apologize for that, Ainz thought.
"Forgive the delay, Ainz-sama."
After that, Cocytus and Demiurge showed up.
Demiurge's body was sheathed in firm, wiry muscle, and he gave off the impression of being toned. One could not design the body under one's clothes when making a character, so perhaps Ulbert had written his physique into his backstory..
"Cocytus, you look the same as always."
"Well, he's typically naked."
"Could. You. Please. Not. Phrase. It. In. Such. A. Perverted. Way?"
"Forgive me. Cocytus uses an exoskeleton, so his usual appearance can't be helped."
Exoskeletons were a kind of natural weaponry, much like Shalltear's nails and teeth. Such equipment gained in hardness and durability as their users levelled up, as well as increased data crystal capacity.
Their merits were that they did not need to be changed often, and could be used for long periods. Even if they were destroyed by weapon-sundering attacks or skills, they could be restored along with their users' HP through the use of curative magic. In addition, they would not be dropped upon death, among many other advantages.
Conversely, they were inferior to the primary gear most players of an equivalent level used, be it in terms of hardness, durability and data crystal capacity. Even at level 100, almost no natural weapons and armor could match up to a divine-class item. Perhaps one might be able to do so if one possessed job classes which strengthened such bodily armaments, but even Ainz did not know if it was possible.
Natural weapons and armor were not very advantageous for players, but they were quite useful for NPCs. This was because one did not need to gather up a big stack of armor and weapons for them ─ in other words, the player making the NPC could save himself the trouble of equipping them.
"Thank you, Ainz-sama."
Cocytus bowed in thanks, but Ainz had not spoken in his defense. Still─
Could it be that everyone uses that to tease him ─ to make fun of him ─ to the point where he has to thank me for stepping in? Should I try to subtly tell the others to lay off?
Was it like this for teachers with bullies in their classes? He did not know how Yamaiko-san had handled this sort of thing in the past. As he pondered the topic, he spoke to the male bathers:
"Alright let's go in."
The group entered the baths, led by Ainz.
There were 12 areas in this large bathing facility.
The first was the standard bath area, then the jungle bath (which was the largest), the ancient Roman thermae (which were very atmospheric), the pomelo baths (where pomelos floated in the water), the sulphur baths, the jet baths, the electric baths (which had a mild electric current to numb the skin), the cold baths (with charcoal floating in them), the Cherenkov baths which glowed with a mysterious blue light, as well as the open-air (granted, the outside scenery was all fake) mixed baths.
There were also the sauna and rock bath areas, and finally the rest room.
"So, which would you like to try? Share your views with me."
"I. Feel. The. Cold. Baths. Are. The. Best. I. Would. Like. Ainz-sama. To. Experience. The Virtues. Of. The. Cold. Baths."
Ainz was resistant to cold damage, and even entering the chilly cold baths was not a hardship for him. However, something felt wrong about suggesting someone take a cold bath right after entering the bathing area.
"Cocytus-san... we came to bathe, so..."
After hearing Mare speak, Cocytus seemed to have realized that he had made a mistake somewhere. Just then, someone proceeded to mount a follow-up attack.
"We came here to bathe, so perhaps you should have recommended a hot bath to promote circulation... oh, that's right, I should ask you a question. Can you bathe in hot water? You won't look like a cooked lobster, I trust?"
"It's. Fine. This. Exoskeleton. Of. Mine. Is. Fire. Resistant. Even. If. You. Consider. It. A. Naked. Body." Cocytus said proudly.
"Ah... ah, then I think perhaps we should go for a normal bath..."
"Cold. Baths. Are. The. Best. Taking. A. Cold. Bath. While. Clinging. To. A. Chunk. Of. Ice. Is. Very. Comfortable."
"I won't say only you would like that sort of thing, but I doubt many people would share your tastes..."
"All... alright, it would be quite boring if we went and bathed on our own, so let's take turns using them all. We'll start with the jungle bath ─ my friends put a lot of effort into making it."
After his subordinates replied, "we're all looking forward to it" ─ including a somewhat dejected Cocytus ─ Ainz led them to the jungle bath.
There were fake trees and fake grass here, and it was made up to look like a forest. Even though they knew it was fake, it was realistic enough that everyone half-expected monsters to emerge from the woods.
"This bath was modelled after the Amazon River of the past. Its creator was Bellriver-san, with the assistance of Blue Planet-san."
Ainz turned his back on the impressed Guardians, then he took his basin and bath stool to the washing area.
Why are all the basins in this spa yellow? When I asked about it in the past, he said it was tradition... are the water basins in all spas supposed to be yellow?
"Needless to say, you need to clean yourself before getting into the bath. However, the way in which I bathe is quite messy, so you should probably stay away from me."
With that terse message, Ainz dumped the basin full of hot water on himself. The water went straight through him and splashed onto the ground. Due to the many gaps in his body, it was very hard for him to rinse his entire body in just one round of pouring. After repeating this several times, and making sure that he was wet, he took out a brush.
Ainz loaded the brush with liquid soap and began to scrub himself. Just like before, the many gaps in his body meant that scrubbing himself was like scrubbing a colander, and so foam and bubbles sprayed everywhere.
Umu... maybe I should have brought my cute little bathing assistant, Miyoshi-kun with me.
Ainz felt that it would be unsightly to let his subordinate see him all covered in slime, so he had not brought it out. However, he had not bathed himself in a while, and it was quite troublesome
As Ainz frantically scrubbed himself, Mare approached him with a yellow stool in hand. He was clearly nervous, but he smiled to Ainz, his face flushed from the heat of the baths.
"A-Ainz-sama! Please... please let me help you wash your back!"
"Hm? Oh, I see. So you want to help me bathe? Although, I have to say that my body is quite tedious to wash, so you should use this brush. Cleaning it with a towel is very tiring."
Ainz turned his back to Mare, and Mare began slowly scrubbing his back with the brush he had received.
"You're doing a good job."
"Thank you very much!"
Honestly speaking, Ainz could not tell if it was a good or a bad job. However, he had said so to Mare because he was grateful.
Ainz looked at the other two. They seemed to be saying, "Then, I'll help you wash your back," and "Thank. You. Kindly." Ainz could not keep the smile from his face ─ although skeletal faces had no facial expressions.
─The Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick really is the best place around.
Behind him, a boy's voice said, "I think I washed this place before, right?" and it only broadened Ainz's smile.
"Thank you, Mare. Now it is my turn to help you. Don't be shy."
Ainz grabbed the boy's shoulders and turned him around, then applied bathing foam to Mare's towel and lathered it up.
He gently scrubbed Mare's body, taking care not to hurt him. He thought about the strength he used to wash himself, and tried to use less force than that.
"Does that hurt?"
"No... not at all!"
After helping Mare ─ who had gone all stiff for some reason ─ wash his back, Ainz returned him his towel.
"You can do the front yourself, right?"
"Of... of course!"
Ainz picked up the brush and scrubbed his ribs. Mare was rubbing himself beside him, so Ainz took care not to spray him with his foam.
"Then, I shall head over first."
After Demiurge finished rinsing himself off, he headed for the tub, swishing his tail behind him. He was followed by Cocytus, who probably had as hard a time bathing himself as Ainz did, but who could effectively use all four of his arms to save time. Naturally, Mare was next. Ainz finally finished washing up several minutes after everyone was done.
The tub was quite broad, and a skilfully-carved lion statue disgorged hot water from its mouth into the steaming tub. Ainz walked through the water vapor and noticed that Cocytus was especially distant from the others. The other two were enjoying the hot water, at a distance from him.
"Ah~ the hot water feels nice."
Ainz thought that as a child, Mare would swim around in the tub, but instead he simply folded his towel and put it on his head, a relaxed look on his face. That attitude was less fitting of a child than an overworked adult. As Ainz saw it, he felt surprise, and then he wondered, is the job of a Guardian of Nazarick really that tiring?
"Oh yes. I feel the fatigue flowing out of my body."
Demiurge had removed his glasses. He splashed some hot water into his face and went "Ah~", looking just like a middle-aged uncle.
"So. Hot."
"That... that's strange, er, didn't you say you were resistant to this?"
"I. Am. But. I. Do. Not. Usually. Soak. In. Hot. Water. So. I. Am. Not. Used. To. It."
"...Still, that's no reason to use your cold aura. I hope you will keep your distance; I prefer my hot water somewhat scalding."
Now he knew why Cocytus was so far away. The water around him was probably only warm now.
"You. Are. Fire. Resistant. So. It. Is. Fine. For. You. Why. Not. Try. A. Cold. Bath?"
"That does not interest me. Besides, I have not engaged my resistance; I am simply enjoying the hot water. Cocytus, do you find this much unbearable?"
"Demiurge. Coming. From. You. Such. Taunts. Are. Shallow. However. You. Are. On."
"Stop that. Baths should be enjoyable. If you want to test your endurance, please do so in the sauna. You don't need to force yourself to bathe here."
"Huwahh~"
Mare exhaled hotly, his forehead beaded in sweat.
"Look, you need to enjoy the bath like Mare's doing. Mare, don't push yourself either. If you feel hot, you need to get out."
"It... it's fine, Ainz-sama! If anything happens, I can use magic!"
Using magic isn't quite right either, Ainz thought. However, he did not say anything, and simply looked at Cocytus.
"...Is it right to use one's resistances when bathing?"
"I think some people do bathe in that way, Ainz-sama. For instance, as one of the undead, you will not be dizzy no matter how long you soak. Is that not the same way?"
"...Indeed."
He could feel the warmth slowly seep into his body, but it did not feel as good as it had when he was still human.
An undead body has its merits and flaws...
Just as Ainz was mourning his lost joys─
"Hm?"
─He raised his head clear of the steam rising up from the water, and looked around.
"Is something the matter?"
"I think someone was calling my name..."
"Could. It. Be. Coming. From. The. Other. Side?"
Cocytus pointed at the wall behind him.
"That's ─ ah, I see. The ladies' bath."
"I see. No, but... the walls should not be that thin, no?"
"Perhaps the echoes made their voices louder."
Ainz could not resist the urge to prick up his ears and listen. There was no ill intent in what he did; he was simply curious about what a group of ladies would talk about when there were no men around. Therefore, he did not place his ear to the wall; doing so would damage his dignity as the ruler of the Great Underground Tomb of Nazarick. He even stepped away from the wall and turned to face it.
"─Albedo, you're so bushy down there."
Ainz frowned as he concentrated and heard the conversation from the other side.
"─Aura, don't describe it like that. Ah~ Ainz-sama ought to be behind this wall. I wonder if there are peepholes or anything."
Ainz carefully studied the entire wall, because he was worried that someone might actually have installed some sort of strange mechanism into it. There was a time when some of the guild members had been obsessed with making strange devices and gimmicks. The relics of those times might have remained until now.
"─Usually, they'd be the ones peeping, right?"
"─I doubt that's the case. There's no need to peep at us; if Ainz-sama commands it, we will let him look at us. Why peep?"
"─Oh, it's rare to hear you make sense like that, Shalltear."
"─What do you mean by 'rare', how rude. By the way, is that a toothbrush? Could you please not brush... I mean wash your teeth in the bathroom?"
"─I can't help it. Cleaning them is really tiring, so I have to do it in a big room like this. Otherwise it'll be very troublesome."
Albedo's voice came from a somewhat higher position, followed by the sound of loud scrubbing.
"─Hm... that does look quite tiring. Oh well, it can't be helped, so I'll let it slide."
"─Thank you."
"─Uwah, don't shake your head and look at me, it's really gross. Shalltear, not brushing?"
"─I brush on my own in my room, so I don't need to. Still, will we really get cavities and so on?"
"─Even if we don't, bad breath when kissing can cool off even an ages-old love."
The sound of brushing suddenly stopped, replaced by the sound of plodding footsteps.
"─Eh? Wait, don't tell me you're going to jump in like that? At least do something about your body..."
First, there was a loud plunk, followed by the sound of water splashing. She must have jumped forcefully into the tub.
"─Waaah! Koffkoff, koff, if I were a storybook Vampire, I'd have drowned by now!"
"─You're not a kid any more, don't just jump in!"
"─Fufufu. Ahh~ this feels great. I'll come here to bathe from now on."
"─You ought to learn some bathing etiquette... huh?"
"─What happened? That's weird, is that lion moving?"
"─The ill-mannered are forbidden from the bath! Exterminate!"
A male voice suddenly spoke, which made Ainz and the other men look at each other.
"Er, ah, that sounded like a man's voice."
"I. Have. Not. Heard. It. Before. But. Could. It. Be. The. Area. Guardian. Of. The. Baths. However. Why. Would. There. Be. A. Man. In. The. Ladies. Bath?"
"No, I've heard that voice before... it's Luci★Fer-san."
As he heard the voice of that troublesome man, Ainz recalled how several instances where that man had given him trouble. Honestly speaking, Ainz did not like him much.
"Is. That. The. Voice. Of. A. Supreme. Being?"
"─It's so hard! This isn't an ordinary Iron Golem!"
"─Die, you golemcraft bastard!"
There was a loud crash, and then the sound of something hitting the wall at high speeds. That hit even shook the walls of the men's bath.
"...Just in case, get your weapons ready and prepare to charge into the ladies' bath if anything happens," Ainz ordered the clearly demoralized Guardians.
If friendly fire was not in effect, perhaps it might end in laughter, but given the present circumstances, someone might actually get killed. Their fighting power was lowered without their gear, and depending on the circumstances, they might really need to be rescued.
"...I'd like to be able to bathe in peace next time."
Ainz stepped out of the tub with a splashing of water and headed for the changing room. As they heard him speak, the other Guardians nodded in unison
-x-X-x-