Begin with How?

The pain we all go through is a real understanding of reality of this world. Mostly I were surprised of the future, it will happen now, now, now. However, it never happened I was confused of the reality sometimes we all are confused with these thoughts. Really, is there any future exist. I don't thing saw. Every door's I front of me are closed. I was kicked out by my own people. As my people live for thousands of years in this land. How it happened to me. Why I was created like this. Is there any meaning for my creation. When I got the book from the holy mount Hamron. I was totally surprised, maybe I will be a message for this people. My people's hearts are blind. They will not able to see me.