The sound of laughter, carnival music, and the pitter-patter of animal feet awakened Sterling from her slumber. She stared up at the cracks in the benches, still groggy. A burst of color and shadows seeped through. The air was filled with the scent of cotton candy, popcorn, and the faint smell of animal dung. Sterling slowly sat up on her bed made of a wooden board, a singed teddy bear for a pillow, and a blanket made from the fabric of an old, ripped tent. The lights dimmed, leaving only a faint yellow light to peek through the cracks. Sterling excitedly scooted closer, looking for a spot where someone's body wasn't blocking the view. Sterling was excited to find empty seats, giving her a decent view of the stage. As decent as seeing through a narrow, rectangular slot could be. 

The Ringmaster, surrounded by acrobats, clowns, and horses with feathered headdresses, stepped into the ring, cracking his whip to signal the start of the show's final act. I amaze myself sleeping through so many acts. Sterling thought with a smile on her face. The ringmaster strides around the performance, with confidence in each step. He mixed well with the rest of his team, becoming a part of the act, seamlessly. A top hat of purple and gold clung to his head of curly hair, his tailcoat fluttering behind him. Under the hat were spirals of half-blonde and half-black hairs. His eyes mirrored the mix and-matched hair, one being green and the other blue. His bizarre appearance coupled with his flare is what made him so popular. Sterling couldn't take her eyes off him as his booming voice came over the intercom, welcoming the guests again. "Thank you all for making this night so special! And boy, do we have a treat for you. I know it's been a while, but let's welcome the amazing, spectacular--Dolly the talking horse! But tonight, she won't be talking." The Ringmaster stepped aside as he prepared to exaggerate his tone again. "Let your lovely voice ring out for us, Miss Dolly!" The crowd erupted in applause. 

The Ringmaster's voice was overtaken tastefully by the voice of an angel, but no woman stepped forward. Among the circle of prancing horses with acrobats performing tricks on their backs, a pure white horse with a braided white mane covered in flowers, stood beside the Ringmaster under the largest spotlight. He swiftly stepped aside, vanishing into the darkness, hiding himself from the smaller rainbow lights. As quick as he was there, he was gone, and the horse took over. Around her head was a headset that captured her voice flawlessly. Sterling's eyes widened. How could an animal sing so beautifully? Sterling found herself quoting the Ringmaster. "Only in the King's fairytale circus could you find something so bizarre, so peculiar, so fantastical!" 

Sweat trickled off Sterling's forehead as she clutched the tent fabric closer to her body. She was burning up, but no matter how hot she felt, she wanted to burrow and hide from the world. Flashing before her eyes was a burning cottage. The screams of a woman echoed in her mind. Sterling sat in the dirt, watching the home crumbling under the weight of the fire. Behind her stood two dark figures that she couldn't make out, yet they felt so familiar. "I knew this would happen! I wish... I wish you had died that day! I hate you! You monster! You are not my--" The voice felt so real in her ears, causing Sterling to jump. She felt over her body to make sure she was okay. She was damp from the sweat. All she could think about was drinking whatever liquid she could get her hands on. Being homeless and penniless, she couldn't be too picky. She noticed trash and bits of popcorn had been dropped on top of her while she slept so she shook the fabric clear. 

Sterling stood up after making her bed. She gathered up all the trash and food, but she didn't throw away the crumbs. She stored the crumbs away in a few plastic popcorn buckets that she collected over the years. Unfortunately, nobody dropped any half-empty cups today. Sterling had a craving for a soda, but lemonade would hit the spot the most. 

Sterling snuck out of the boxed frame beneath the seats and stood on the aisle steps, looking around for anyone who might try and escort her out. The tent was large with a red and yellow pattern. It was pitch black, except for a light near one of the exits. The Janitor had several trashcans lined up near it. He must have had to see to something else and would be back for them later. He was a kind old man with no name, so many just called him "The Janitor." He was the only one who knew about Sterling's situation, but strangely he didn't rat her out.

Sterling siffed through the trash cans, finding any cups she could and whenever she found a drop or two she would open up the cup and drink it, not caring that she could be drinking the saliva of someone else. A woman had to find some way to hydrate, right? "Yes! Who wastes a whole soda like this!" Sterling forgot about being in incognito mode and laughed loudly, chugging the full soda. The melted ice had deluded the taste, but Sterling was too thirsty to care.

"What the hell are you doing? That is disgusting!" Sterling froze in place as a female voice came from behind her. She slowly turned around, with the cup still to her lips. Her eyes widened when she saw the familiar white mare towering above her. She was much larger than Sterling thought. Her hair was brushed free of its braid, and she didn't have any fancy clothes on. Her large, soulless black eyes bore into her, judging her.

"D-Dolly... Horse... Talking." Sterling could barely get any words out as she tossed the cup back into the trash.

"You can't be here right now. The circus is closed. How are you even here?" Demanded Dolly.

"I..." Sterling was lost for words as the horse overlooked the state, she was in. Sterling's long brown hair was matted with bits of candy and popcorn stuck in the strands. She wore a floral blue dress with one of the straps broken. There were tears and holes up and down the fabric. It was also heavily stained. Sterling didn't own any footwear.

Dolly sniffed the air around Sterling. "Oh, my god. You smell worse than animal dung." 

"Okay, okay. I think you've insulted me enough. I'll go." Sterling tried to walk away, but the horse trotted around her in a circle.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I thought you were here to sabotage the stage, but I see that's not the case."

"Sabotage the stage? What? No! I love this circus." Sterling Protested. Dolly relaxed her stiff muscles a little.

"Why are you in this state and did anyone teach you about how eating from the trash can make you sick?" Asked Dolly. Sterling nervously avoided her gaze. Of course, she knew better. It took countless days of starvation and thirst for her to get to that point, but what else could she do? There was no way she could find a job with her secret always catching up to her. 

"I don't have any other options. Food and drinks cost coin and at your prices, I would have to sell one of my legs." Said Sterling.

"Then go home. Why are you even here?"

"If I had a home, don't you think I would be there?" Sterling asked in a frustrated voice that took Dolly off guard. The horse slowly sat on her large rump, looking as if her heart had sunk from her chest. Despite the horse being a celebrity for her singing and talking, it was hard for Sterling to see her as anything other than a horse. She looked so cute with her droopy little ears and awkward, long legs. Sterling fought the urge to pet her.

"Why did you choose here of all places, then? I'm sure there are easier options...," said Dolly. Sterling fell silent. There were easier places to be. She could join a monastery. Work as a maid for a noble or the king. Get married to a farmer and raise sixteen kids. Sterling laughed at the thought which confused Dolly. As if any of those were real options for someone like Sterling. No one knew the monster lying beneath her skin. It would never let her be happy. She didn't know why she chose the circus to follow. It was just as hard. It could pose the same risks. Sterling raised her head, looking at Dolly. Then it hit her.

"It's my happy place." That was the truth. Since she was young, her parents would take her there and that was her only escape from the secluded life they made her live. It was for her good, but in the end, it didn't matter. She was living on borrowed time. Dolly's forlorn expression lingered in the silence between them.

"It's..." Dolly paused. "It's my happy place too." Sterling's eyes widened and a smile split across her face, but it faded as quickly as it came.

"Are you going to tell on me?" Asked Sterling. The horse neighed, sounding almost like a sigh.

"I should..." Sterling's face went pale. "But I can't... I don't have the heart to."

"So, then I can keep eating out of the trash and you'll look the other way?" Sterling asked with a smile. Dolly scrunched her face in disgust.

"I'd rather you not... If you're hungry, just come to my bandwagon. I won't be able to sleep tonight if I leave you by yourself like this."

"What do you mean?" Asked Sterling.

"I can't help you if the circus knows about it, so we have to be secretive... It's dark so we can get away with it for now. Let's get you cleaned up and for tonight you can sleep in a warm bed... but you'll have to be gone before dawn if you stay the night. My handlers come bright and early." Dolly explained. She stood up and whipped her head toward the exit for Sterling to follow her. The horse led her out of the tent and into the chilling, autumn night. It wasn't an unfamiliar sight for Sterling. Colorful tents shrouded in darkness with only the moon and some torches as their light. This was her usual time to scavenge if she didn't wake up early enough before the Janitor cleared out the stage. There were knights in steel-plated armor patrolling the grassy paths, but with Sterling hiding behind Dolly's massive body, they paid them no mind. She was a celebrity after all, so her leaving the tent at this hour wasn't unusual.

Sterling and Dolly walked for a while until they reached an all-white tent. "Where are we?"

"These are the shower tents for the animals... It's humiliating, but I'm too big for the shower tents the others use." Dolly may have been a horse, but Sterling could tell she had some human mannerisms so she could imagine how strange it was to share a shower with animals unlike her. Sterling wanted to ask how she came to be the way she was but was afraid it would be rude. After all, Sterling had her own story to hide. "Since all the animals are likely in their pens and their handlers are asleep, you should be safe to shower here."

"Wait, I can shower?" Excitement overcame Sterling. She felt grimy and her head was extremely itchy.

"Yes. You need it. Now hurry. I have to be at rehearsals in five hours." Dolly nudged Sterling along with her large white muzzle. Sterling almost stumbled over from the horse's strength. Sterling noticed each shower was sectioned off with white curtains and sprinklers were wired along the ceiling of the tent. Inside was a stool with a basket of body wash, shampoo, a brush, and a towel. It was all for a horse, but it was better than nothing. Setting the basket aside to avoid getting it wet, Sterling turned on the sprinklers. It was cold at first, but in time it warmed up, making Sterling feel like a new person by the time it was over. Her hair was the hardest part to get clean. Sterling found so many random things such as a whole lollypop and a cigarette inside her matted locks--she didn't even smoke! But thanks to the fine bristles in the horse comb, it all came out eventually.

Sterling stepped out of the shower with her hair wrapped up in a towel and one wrapping her body like a dress. As she did this, Dolly entered the tent with a blue flannel dress, a cloak, and a pair of blue slippers in her mouth. She had left while she showered to grab her new clothes. Sterling felt nervous when she saw the new clothes. Dolly was being too generous for something she would just ruin eventually. "Wait, you're giving me these?"

Dolly placed the clothing and shoes on a nearby table.

"Yes. One day you're going to move the wrong way and your lady bits will be visible to the whole world. It's time to retire those old rags." Said Dolly when her mouth was free.

"But I'll just ruin them..."

"Unfortunately, being naked like me is frowned upon if you are human. You got to have something to wear... Uh... Wait, what was your name by the way?" Dolly paused to ask as she realized she hadn't asked this yet. She was too worried about getting her clean and safe.

"Sterling."

"Sterling? That sounds fake." Said Dolly. Sterling nervously laughed.

"It's my name." Sterling shrugged.

"Okay. I'll take your word for it... Sterling. These clothes are extra clothes that any of the circus members can get easily. Nobody is going to miss them, and they belong to whoever gets to them first, so don't worry about it. Just try and take better care of them if you're that worried." Said Dolly. "Get ready so we can go to my bandwagon and get some sleep." Sterling gathered up the clothes and went inside the shower again to change.

"Dolly?" Asked Sterling.

"Yes?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Asked Sterling. Dolly was quiet at first.

"Let's just say I'm having a little Deja vu and it didn't end well the first time." Sterling wanted to ask her what she meant, but figured she would just be pestering her. Sterling didn't want to abuse her kindness. It was already a great honor to meet one of her idols. To have her be so nice to her was more than she could have ever asked for.

Once Sterling was dressed, she modeled it for Dolly to make sure everything fit fine. Before they left, Sterling was stopped as the horse kneeled before her. "Wh-what?" Sterling was left dumbfounded.

"My bandwagon is pretty far from here. Just climb up, hold on, and make sure you put up your hood." Sterling didn't argue anymore but was hesitant to mount such a large horse, especially one that didn't have a saddle and could talk. In the end, she was too relaxed from the shower and the soft clothes, so all she wanted to do was sleep in the warm bed, Dolly spoke of. She did as Dolly had asked and hid her long brown hair under the hood. The knights would likely think she was a handler if they couldn't see her face.

They arrived quickly thanks to Dolly. There was a colony of bandwagons, each with a wooden cut out of the act that lived in it and their names. Some of the lightbulbs that lit up the names were still on. In a few windows, she could still see some lights on, but others were completely dark. As Dolly kneeled to help Sterling easily dismount, she noticed nearby Dolly's wagon was another bandwagon with a familiar wooden cut out of a man with mix-matched hair and eyes.

Sterling stared in awe as she read the letters across the side of the bandwagon. A man so nice they named him twice. Grey-Anthony. Was this really where the Ringmaster of the King's Fairytale Circus lived?

She couldn't believe her sole reason for coming to the circus was so close, and yet so far...