Chereads / Our last chance ( BL ) / Chapter 13 - It's over ... so why can't I move on ?

Chapter 13 - It's over ... so why can't I move on ?

Mina gasped as Ryo received a brutal punch that flipped him around . What was worse was Ryo couldn't fight the person who had hit him .

Because it was his father .

.....

He had arrived home five minutes ago , his steps had been slow and laboured , as if he didn't want to get there .

Which was strange , because it was a lovely house .

Two storeys of metal and stone , with tempered glass windows . A balcony on the back side of the house , with a stone yard . Ryo's family had money , or technically , his father had money . Mr Yashiba owned three restaurants and each one made a hefty profit yearly . It was because of money that Ryo could go to school with his tattoos , his father having paid the school .

But oddly , Ryo didn't give any attention to the stone yard with its maple trees . His head was low as he walked into his home and it was soon evident why .

" Where have you been ? " Mr Yashiba asked his son from the staircase .

He was a large man , with a strong and muscular build . His eyes were a deep brown with twinges of scarlet . He had an angular face but with a tough chin and a hard expression on his face . A black suit , with golden yellow cuffs was his present attire .

" I was with a friend , Dad ." Ryo answered looking at the man infront of him with little affection .

" You can inform me when you decide to leave next time ." Mr Yashiba said coming down , he walked infront of Ryo and gave him a glance .

" I can pack you things and you can leave ... I doubt you have reason to come back ." He said coldly and Ryo gave him a steel look .

That's when he received the punch from his father . He didn't see it coming , it just landed on his face without him knowing it .

" Don't look at me like that . " His father said rubbing his fist , " I taught you better respect than your mother . Now , go to your room . If you leave again without my knowing it ... don't come back at all . You can follow your mother to hell for all I care ."

Mr Yashiba turned around and left Ryo , who stood by the entrance with his hand on his cheek and a look of deadly rage in his eyes . Mina was looking at him and then glancing at Mr Yashiba's retreating back .

Ryo fisted his hand and went up stairs to his room , jumping on to the bed . He took angry breaths , his temper flaring like an erupting volcano .

" Does he always - "

" Get out , Mina . " Ryo said through gritted teeth . Mina turned to him with a sad look before disappearing , she knew nothing she said could have helped right then .

After five minutes , Ryo finally turned around on his bed and reached under it . He pulled out an old shoe box , it was blue and dusty . Ryo opened it and inside was a crumpled photograph of a lovely woman with long hair and a small boy of three years . The two were laughing and pointing at the camera .

" I hate you , " Ryo said to the photo , " I hate you and I hate him ! I hate you for leaving and for him making you leave . I hope what he said is true . "

Ryo glared at the picture and crumpled it into a ball .

" I hope you're in hell ! " He said vehemently .

He put the ball back on the box and sat with his knees in a Buddha position . Swallowing some saliva he thought back to the first time his mother had left them .

He had been five years old , coming back from school , he'd found his parents yelling and then before he could say or do anything ... his mother had hopped into her car and driven away .

She had come back two months later and he'd hugged her , begging for her not to go again . He hadn't liked staying with his father , he yelled at him and hit him . His mother had nodded her head and said she wouldn't leave .

But three years later , she'd been gone when he came home . His father had said irritably ; " Your mother went on her disappearing trips again . She'll be back when she runs out of money . "

He'd been confused and thought she'd left because he hadn't been a good son . He'd promised to be better when she came back . Half a year later she came back in a different car , wearing strange clothes .

She'd held him and he'd practically begged for her not go again . She had promised she wouldn't and he'd believed her . Afterwards he had tried to be perfect ; cleaning , doing his schoolwork and doing whatever he was told . His parents still faught but he thought his mother was happy with him , if not with his dad .

" I'm good now , you won't leave ? " He'd asked her on his twelfth birthday .

" Ryomen , " she had said , she was the only one who used his full name , " You were good from the beginning . "

" Then why did you leave ? " He'd asked but she hadn't answered him . She'd smiled and ruffled his hair .

Two days later , he came home and found his mother coming down the stairs with her bags . His father had looked at her in disgust before turning away and going upstairs .

" Mom , where are you going ? " He had asked and she'd looked at him with a sad smile .

" I'm just going to live somewhere else , Ryomen . " She had said with a forced smile, " This house is too small for our family . I'm going to find a new home for us . "

" Can I come too ? " He'd asked , " I want to stay with you . I don't like Dad ."

" You shouldn't say that ." She had cupped his face , " Your Dad is very difficult but he loves you and ... he loves me . You should stay with him and make sure he isn't sad ."

" What about you ? Won't you be sad too ? " He'd asked her and she hugged him .

" Maybe , but I'll see you on your birthday and be happy for the whole year . " She had said with tears in her eyes , " Promise you'll love Dad ."

" I'll promise , " he had said with a huff , " If you promise to always come to my birthday and to take me with you some day . "

" Oh , so smart . I can't refuse that ." She had said to him , " I promise , every birthday I'll be there . "

That was the last time she had been at his house . Afterwards she visited twice a year and came for his birthday . But when he turned sixteen ... she didn't come back .

He waited all day at the party , with his friends but no one came . He'd thought she had decided he wasn't worth coming back for . He'd been so angry , that he'd decided to do something to mark himself . Something to show he was different , unwanted by the person he loved most . Then one friend had suggested he go to get a tattoo .

Ryo had gotten a full body tattoo job and when his father had found out he'd been beaten badly . But he didn't care , about his Dad or his ... Mother . He'd become more cruel , more angry and he lashed out at anyone who annoyed him .

Like Milo , he thought and turned on his side .

* I was fine , when we met and I fought for you like it some silly game .

But now , look what did I do , I made a mistake when I picked on you .

It's over though, isn't it ?

Isn't it over ?

I lost , you won , I liked you and you're gone .

It's over though , so why can't I move on ?

Bullying , lying , affection

Love , loss , redemption .

All I thought , I ever wanted , was to be free and to please me .

Now why do I feel like I've lost myself , I'm petty and cruel , to want use you .

What does it matter , it's already done , I failed you , like I failed to be her son .

It's over though , isn't it ?

Isn't it over ?

You won , I lost , I liked you and you're gone !

It's over though ... so why can't I move on ? *

Ryo woke up with a start and looked around him , it took a second for him to remember where he was . He sighed and moved to the shoe box , shutting it and putting it under the bed , with the crumpled photo .

He soon fell back asleep , his last thought was ; I'm sorry M...ilo .