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senkos Short Story Collection

senko_Baddie
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Synopsis
A collection of short stories all unrelated to each other and different in length
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Chapter 1 - An Uncouth Advert

A man appears on screen, with a background showing the flag of the patriots swaying in the wind. He has the appearance of a shrewd, moralless man trying to be something he's not, and what one might confuse as a shady street salesman with his greasy blonde hair swept to the side and his middle-aged body embraced by a tacky yet colourful suit. He started by announcing,

"Sup, motherfuckers, what the hell are you doing with your life?"

This obviously rhetorical shout-like exclamation caused all those who were watching to jump in their seats. Some turning off the television and calling the network hosting to take such a vulgar advertisement down—something like this right after the mid-day running of the househusbands of Beverly Hills—was completely inappropriate. Yet despite their panic, the advertisement continued.

"I know what you're doing! You're lazing as sloths all day playing your little Minecraft's or watching the Beverly Hills housewives of Kim Kardashian. You soppy cows need to do something with your lives! And that's why I'm here, of course; my name is Saul Goodman, and I'm the man you need to turn your life around."

 

The scene changed, with a gym appearing in the background and a predominantly male cast working on treadmills, lifting weights, and stretching.

 

"Come on down to Sauls Gym, and you may learn what real hard work is, assholes!"

 

Then the background switches to a close-up of a man's muscular forearm.

 

"You see that, gentleman, that's some hard work for you."

 

It then switches to a close-up of a man's extremely muscly thigh. Now hot and bothered, the man exclaims,

 

"And oh.."

 

He takes a deep breath.

 

"Oh... you see that juuuiiiicy bit of hard work there..."

 

He starts salivating before the background changes once again, returning to the previous gym scene.

 

"Oooh.. give me a moment after that one."

 

He seems to be sweating profusely and flushed, taking a moment before recuperating and straightening his tie.

 

"So you see, ladies and gentlemen, hard work is best achieved in our gym, so get your assess in my gym NOW!"

 

It changes a final time, showing only the front of the gym and information like the phone number and address, before the show finally resumes, leaving all viewers stunned.

 

 

 

Mr. Saul Goodman is arrested on charges of broadcast signal intrusion, cybercrime, and disorderly conduct.

 

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