Life is miserable.
Although others have a rougher time in life, compared to myself.
However, to me? I feel like I've had a particularly rougher life.
Growing up in the 20th century, I had a loving family that was once filled with bliss and joy.
Friends, who have been there to support and assist me whenever I needed them, as we always find joy in spending time together.
I cherished these little moments of laughter and memories of happiness together.
Until the day that changed everything.
It all abruptly came to an end when I was just five years old.
The flux of painful memories started to invade my mind as It felt suffocating, and my mind went numb for a second.
'Who am I?'
'Why can't I remember myself?'
Staring at the ceiling dumbly, I wriggle around my bed.
Soon, my gaze lands on what seems to be my room.
If a word can describe my room right now then that would be.
'Messy.'
Very Messy.
The room was in a state of disarray, with clothes scattered across the floor, empty beer cans, and half-eaten food strewn about the table. Broken bottles and crumpled papers littered the entire area.
'Just what exactly had gone wrong through my life?'
Rubbing my temples, I take a glance at the window.
My thoughts were in a state of disarray, as flashbacks began to appear before my eyes.
...
"Dad, am I going to become an older brother?!"
My younger self exclaims as he tugged my father's sleeve.
Watching this scene from afar, I abruptly froze for a moment. Before I take a proper glance at my father.
He wears a black business suit accompanied by a black and white striped tie and a fedora that adds his elegance.
Taking a closer look, I notice a mysterious mist that obscures his face, making it impossible for me to see or recall his features.
I attempt to recall his appearance, but nothing seems to come to mind.
This irritated me as I could only glare at my father in the side lanes.
My father chuckled wholeheartedly before he took a good glance at the younger version of myself, who appeared to be both nervous and excited simultaneously.
"Yes son, you'll become an older brother from now on," he responds.
His aged yet familiar voice resonated deeply within my soul, however even with his familiar voice, I can't seem to recall his face at all.
He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Before he sternly continues. "So, I want you to protect him."
"You can always count on me." My younger self replied, as he proudly patted his chest with his little hands.
Watching this scene from the side lanes, my glare intensified. 'How am I not able to remember his features at all..'
Before I began doubting my memories, the scene before me shattered like a glass mirror, and the area surrounding me distorted.
'This is not how a flashback would unfold.'
What appeared before me was a vast expanse of nothingness, where everything before me was engulfed with nothing but a bottomless void.
I found myself locked in place, unable to think or move.
After what felt like an eternity, the pit of void before me distorted once more, and a hazy, distorted image began to take shape, forming a scene before my eyes.
The scene unfolded in a bustling urban city of the 20th century, with numerous skyscrapers towering over the streets.
People can be seen strolling along the sidewalks, as sounds of traffic reverberated through the air, encapsulating your typical daily city life experience.
I blink my eyes a couple of times, trying to comprehend my surroundings more clearly.
However, it became evident to me that what I was witnessing was certainly not a mere flashback.
I take an aimless stroll, as I attempt to figure out my situation.
I tried to engage with the people around me, but it became apparent that they were unable to hear my voice.
I attempted to touch objects and individuals, only to witness my hands pass through them effortlessly.
Furthermore, I discovered that I possessed the ability to pass through walls as if I were nothing more than a spirit. No one could see or hear me, rendering me invisible and unheard by the world around me.
'Is this a dream?' I ponder.
I can only shake my head, as I come to that conclusion. However, I cannot scientifically explain the scenario unfolding before me.
I attempt to recall all my memories, yet I find myself unable to recall anything about my own identity.
Questions begin to flood my train of thoughts one by one.
Who am I?
What is my name?
Who are my parents?
These questions etch themselves into my soul as if they hold the key to unraveling my existence.
But the fact remains that while I am unaware of my own identity, I still retain vivid memories associated with my family.
This confuses me.
Because so far, I still recall memories such as my mother giving birth to my younger brother and the countless cherished moments we shared as a family.
Yet the problem remains.
Who am I?
Interrupting my thoughts my train of thought, I hear a loud beeping noise, followed by a crashing sound in the distance.
Some of the pedestrians around me moved away from the source of the sound, while others walked towards it, myself included.
As I arrived at the scene, I noticed a crowd of onlookers who had gathered from afar, their attention fixed on the car accident involving a box truck and an SUV. I too joined them, taking a glance at the accident from afar.
Glancing at the familiar SUV, my eyes shrank as my whole body froze for a moment.
'I remembered this day.' I thought inwardly as a wave of memories flooded back.
'June 12.'
On that day, I lost all of my family members.
My Father went missing, my younger brother lost his life in the accident, and my mother remained trapped in an unexplained comatose state, with the doctors predicting that she would never be awakened again.
My body shudders uncontrollably, as my heart beats rapidly in an accelerated rhythm.
An overwhelming wave of anxiety washes over me, causing my breaths to become shallow and erratic.
The once bustling crowd of onlookers is now nowhere to be seen.
With each heartbeat, my breaths grow more ragged.
It feels as though I'm experiencing an anxiety attack, the intensity of emotions and memories taking a toll on my mental well-being.
Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I mustered the strength to take heavy, unsteady steps near the accident.
Approaching the scene, I observed the crowd of people surrounding both cars, frantically working to pull out the individuals from the wreckage.
As I walked past the people in front of me, I approached the familiar SUV. I could see my mother and my younger brother's unconscious bodies lying on the floor.
I stared dumbfoundedly at their ragged forms while people nearby performed CPR.
Once again, their faces were obscured by a mysterious white mist, making it impossible for me to recall their appearance at all.
"His heartbeat is slowing down!"
"When will the ambulance arrive?!"
My heart sank as I heard my younger brother's heartbeat grow weaker with each passing moment. I rushed to his unconscious body, desperate to perform CPR and save him.
But, just like before, my hands passed through anything, leaving me feeling utterly helpless and a deep void of despair.
"God, damn it!" I cursed aloud, tears welled up within me, but I found myself unable to cry. I kept trying to reach out to his body, attempting again and again, but my hands effortlessly passed through.
The situation is growing dire, as each passing moment weakens my younger brother's heartbeat.
I passionately pleaded to the crowd of people near me, my desperate voice echoing around the surroundings.
"Please, just do something!"
The crowd of people ignored my pleas since they were unable to hear my desperate voice.
However, despite their inability to hear me, they acted quickly and tried everything possible to save my younger brother.
Composing myself, I heard desperate calls from afar.
"Quick, perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!"
"Someone, do it quickly!"
"Is there a doctor or someone with medical knowledge here?!"
I quickly glance around, trying to locate the source of the voice.
As my gaze swept over the car, I noticed a figure inside the car.
Although my mother was lying unconscious on the ground, her breathing remained steady. I made the difficult decision to leave her behind for the time being.
Surveying my surroundings, I realized that the bodies of both my younger self and my father were nowhere to be seen.
I immediately rushed towards the broken SUV and quickly scanned the crowd of people.
Effortlessly passing through them, my eyes fell upon my younger self, who was in a severely injured state. A bar had penetrated through his abdomen, and blood continued to drip down.
However, it wasn't just his ragged condition that made me freeze in my tracks.
'The mist again!'
This time, however, I found myself unable to recall my face.
'Impossible! How can I not even recall my face at all.'
It might be because of stress or the unexplainable occurrences that appear before me one by one.
I dumbly take a look at myself through the broken shards of glass.
Before abruptly realizing that I am still in a 'Ghost State'
I could only inwardly facepalm at my silliness.
Despite my younger self being in a dire situation, I wasn't particularly concerned about his well-being.
Well, I'm still alive.
Right?
The idea of me being just a living soul, makes me shudder for a second.
Imagine being unable to touch, interact, or do anything at all, while you can only watch others engage in these actions right in front of you.
What's even worse about this situation is that no one can see or hear you.
I quickly shook my head as I disregarded my thoughts.
Taking deep breaths, I started to calmly analyze my entire situation.
Everything around me felt off, but I couldn't pinpoint exactly where. Initially, I had doubts about my father, not being my real father because I couldn't properly recall him.
However, it turned out that my inability to remember wasn't limited to just him. I realized that I couldn't recall my name, my own identity, or even the appearance of my family members.
At first, I didn't pay much attention to it, assuming that I would eventually see their appearances here. Unfortunately, that turned out to be false. Instead, all I could see was a mysterious white mist obscuring their faces, including my own.
I don't even know who I am. I can't even recall my appearance at all.
Recalling the earlier incident involving a conversation between my younger self and my father, I could only blink stupidly for a second.
Why?
I vividly remember attempting to glance at my younger self, but it felt as if something had blocked me, forcing me to forget what I was about to do.
My pupils constricted, and a cold sweat started to trickle down my back, causing me to shiver with an icy sensation.
"Something about this whole incident felt off."
Interrupting my thoughts, a voice suddenly rang out near me.
I turned my gaze towards the man who had spoken. He had short black hair styled in a quiff cut, appearing to be in his mid-thirties with an American look.
He was dressed in a black polo shirt, complemented by a white shirt underneath. He wore long pants and sported white and blue athletic shoes.
"What do you mean? Any thoughts?" Someone asked.
The man takes a glance at him before replying, "What are the odds of dying in a car accident?"
"Uhh? 1%? But the probability is statistically derived from a specific region, and there are too many variables to include when calculating the likelihood of someone dying in a car accident," he responds.
The man nods his head, affirming that the person's response is correct.
"However, has anyone noticed?" The man pauses for a moment.
The people around him, who are hearing his opinion about this matter, look at him with confusion.
The man shakes his head before he continues. "Does anyone notice who the driver is?"
"What do you mean? Isn't it the lady who is lying on the ground?"
Before he can continue, someone interrupts him. "The lady wasn't even in the driver's seat!"
The crowd of people was completely dumbfounded, and this included me.
Silence permeated the air before the crowd erupted in bustling gossip.
"How was that even possible?"
"HUH? If she isn't the driver, then who is it?!"
"You're lying! There is no way that nobody was the driver!"
"What he said is true! I've seen it with my own eyes that the lady came from the front passenger seat!"
"Then is it the kid who's driving?!"
"Do you think that's possible? A 2-year-old driving a car? I must be daydreaming if that's possible!"
"No, I saw the kid in the rear seat!"
My thoughts went numb for a second as I stared at the driver's seat with dread.
Cold sweat trickles down my forehead as my heart beats at a rapid pace.
Everything that had happened before me will be answered if I check the driver's seat.
With heavy steps, I walk towards the driver's seat.
But what I find is nothing.
The seat is empty, and not a single thing related to my father can be seen.
I tried to remain as calm as possible, but my rapid heartbeat gave away my inability to stay composed amidst the current situation.
I take some deep breaths and calmly analyze the situation before arriving at an abrupt conclusion.
'This must be a dream.'
Definitely, since how would you be able to explain the missing appearances of my family members, my missing memories, and the ability to pass through things?
With this thought in my mind, everything started to make sense.
However, deep down, I knew I was only deceiving myself.
How could I possibly explain the fact that I can't remember anything about my own identity in the world of the living?
As I aimlessly stared at the driver's seat, I noticed something moving.
Particles?
Golden particles?
I blinked for a second, as I was about to take a closer look.
Everything before me shattered again, just like before everything distorted. Countless images appear before me, memories after memories.
Like a movie, I watched everything unfold, except that I couldn't see myself or my family's appearance.
My thoughts were in a state of disarray, before arriving myself in a hospital room.
I could no longer deceive myself about the fact that everything occurring in front of me was just a dream.
This felt more like a flashback now, but how was it even possible to have such a kind of flashback?
Again, abruptly Interrupting my train of thought. I heard a crying sound resonating through the once-silent hospital room.
My gaze swept over the room, as the once empty room was now filled with doctors and my younger self.
-Sniff* Sniff*
-Sneeze*
"Mowm, pwease don't leave mwe."
I stole a glance at my younger self, yet again unable to catch a glimpse of my appearance.
I had long accepted the fact that I was unable to take a proper look at myself.
But that doesn't mean that I can't take a proper look in the mirror after everything is over.
That is what I am hoping.
However, the vivid memories of me gazing into the mirror only reveal my face still obscured by the mist.
I silently pray to myself that, I could see my appearance in the world of living.
Deep down, I am aware that I am denying the memories that now reside within me, as I desperately hope that this entire situation is nothing more than an elaborate dream.
"Little kid, what are your plans right now?" a female doctor asked.
My younger self trembled, as he lifted his head to meet the doctor's eyes.
Just as my younger self was about to respond, he was interrupted by another doctor present in the room.
"Why don't you adopt him, Alyssa?"
In response to the doctor, the female doctor named Alyssa swiftly shook her head with her ponytail swaying.
"I can't."
"I'm too busy to take care of a child"
"Besides.." before she could continue, she cast a glance at my younger self, her expression filled with complexity.
She took a deep breath and sighed before addressing my younger self. "What if I bring you to the orphanage and visit you whenever I have some free time?"
"Prowwmise?"
"Promise." Alyssa nodded to him with a light smile.
-Sniff* Sniff*
"Dawktor, Promwise.. Fowrevwer?"
Alyssa didn't immediately respond to my younger self, who was on the verge of tears.
She sighed once more before nodding in agreement.
"Not forever, but I promise to take care of you until you turn 18."
"Is that a good promise?" she asked.
My younger self could only nod in response.
As I silently watched this scene unfold from a distance, I could only bitterly shake my head.
'Why does everyone close to me suddenly pass away?' I wondered in despair.
Yes, she was my stepmother who had kind of adopted me. Despite leaving me in the orphanage, she always held her promise close to her heart.
However, what she said about adopting a child is troublesome. Deep down, I knew she longed to have a child of her own.
However, it seems as though some circumstances prevent her from fulfilling that desire.
What I can say about her is that, even though she disliked trouble, she would always extend a helping hand to those in need.
Eventually, she took care of me until I reached the age of 18. However, just as I entered adulthood, she tragically passed away due to exhaustion from work.
Out of a sudden, a painful surge of memories resonates deeply within my soul.
As a growl escaped my mouth, while I clutched my head with both hands.
"Hah... Hah... What is happening?" I gasped.
My head felt as though it was about to explode into bits, the pain felt like a nail getting hammered into my skull.
Casting a glance around my surroundings, I realize that I am still in the familiar hospital room.
But to my surprise, a book appeared out of nowhere on the table that is beside my mother's hospital bed.
The book appears tattered, with a worn-out leather cover devoid of any title or words.
As I take the book into my hands, I find myself unable to open it. It feels as if each page is glued together tightly, resisting my attempts to reveal its contents.
I scratched my head, not knowing what to do with the worn-out book in front of me.
Before I could further investigate the book, the familiar sound of shattered glass rang out around my surroundings, distorting everything into nothingness.
...
I hazily open my eyes, before it widens.
As I sit up straight, I can feel my back drenched in sweat.
The cold sensation of the wind bustling in through the window swept over me.
I got up from my bed and before anything else.
I open my drawer beside my bed and reach out to a cutter.
Afterward, I swiftly rush towards the bathroom and take a closer look at my appearance through the mirror.
To my disappointment, I was unable to see my face.
But I still hope that, maybe...
Just maybe, everything that had happened throughout my life was just a dream.
Yes, just like in novels, where everything the protagonist goes through turns out to be nothing more than a pleasant dream.
I longed for that moment, even though I used to dislike these types of novels.
They made me feel like everything the readers invested in was ultimately futile. What was the purpose if it all turned out to be a dream in the end?
And now, I found myself hoping for that very scenario to happen to me.
Taking a deep breath, I picked up the cutter in front of me and made a small cut on my finger.
Blood soon began to drip from the wound, and I felt a stinging sensation on my finger.
My eyes widened as I became completely dumbfounded by the situation unfolding before me.
"This.. does this even make.. sense at all?"
I stuttered, as my mumbles echoed throughout the entire bathroom.
Just to make sure again, I check my appearance through the mirror.
Yet again, a mist still covers my face.
At that point, my mind went numb, and I couldn't think properly anymore.
'What's the point anymore at this point..' I pondered, as I dragged my lifeless body towards the bed.
I lay down on the bed with my lifeless eyes staring at the ceiling.
Casting my gaze at the cabinet, I picked up the phone that was resting on top of it.
Before playing a song.
▶ Unti-L - SawanoHiroyuki[nZk]:ASCA
[ 0:00 --------------------- 4:04 ]
As the song filled the entire room, I closed my eyes.
'Even then, I still need to move on.'
Time awaits no one.
I soon fell into a deep slumber as my consciousness slipped away.
...
Inside the hospital room.
A woman in her thirties can be seen sitting up from her bed.
She cast a glance through the window before settling
As the book magically opened on its own, the pages began to flip at unimaginable speeds before settling down on a certain page.
==============
Rookie: Robin Everhart
Incarnation: –
Soul Core: Novice [ - ]
Destiny: –
Soul Link: –
Soul Shard: –
Zone: –
Attribute : [Details]
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Soul Bind: –
Soul Bane: –
==============
"You're not the one."