He knew that he didn't deserve sympathy and in any sense what he deserved was nothing more than misery.
He felt fear of what tina would do to him when she got to him but what he also felt was a sense of guilt over what had happened.
He had no one to blame for it all except his own self and yet that didn't seem to make it hurt any less.
The fact that he had been the one to get them into that mess.
He wanted to feel bad but there was also a part of him that didn't want to feel as though any of this was his fault. It couldn't be his fault.
He was only trying to do what was great for him and what was best for him was for him to ensure that he got what he wanted and there was nothing that he wanted more than revenge.
"I am not crazy. I am the hero of this story." dick whispered to himself as he rocked himself back and forth slightly.
He could feel his heart racing frantically against his chest as he felt sweat begin to form on his forehead.
He heard the rustling of the trees near him and he couldn't help but gasp as he turned his head to the side and towards the source of the noise.
"Who is there? Come out and face me coward." He yelled.
[Calm down you are only hurting yourself. How about you relax.]
The system suggested as a. small box appeared before his face.
However he couldn't help but shake his head as he swatted his hand in front of his face trying to rid himself of the box.
It was this system that had started all of this in the first place.
It was the one that had given him a new allure and had given him the impression that he had power and that that he could do whatever he put his mi9nd to.
However the system had failed to tell him that at the bade of it all he was still just a human being and that meant that under all of that he was still able to get killed and he could make stupid decisions like any other human.
It was the one that had caused all of his problems. If it wasn't for the system then none of this would have happened and he didn't want any of it.
He couldn't calm down and he knew that he had no reason to.
He didn't deserve to relax or rest.
He had done this to himself and he deserved the punishment that he was receiving.
He didn't defensive to sleep and get a good night rest.
That was only for those who had earned it.
He shut his eyes tightly as he shook his head he tried to rid himself of the thoughts once more.
He continued to rock his body back and forth again but as soon as he had shut his eyes he was almost instantly met with the face of gloria.
He let out a loud frustrated cry from his lips as he pulled his eyes open again.
He yanked violently at his hair as he tried to compose himself.
"Make it stop. Please make it stop." He found himself yelling desperately. He didn't know who he was talking to. And what exactly he was begging for. But he just needed it all to go away.
He couldn't help it as he began to bang his head against the wall of the caver and placed his hands firm against his ears.
"I need to make it go away. I don't deserve to live I don't deserve to be free. I have to earn it." He whispered.
He pulled his hands away from his head as he turned towards the wall of the cave.
Without warning he dug his nails into the rock of the cave as he began to scratch at it.
As loud screeching sound rang through the cave as his nails began to draw blood.
He leaned his head against the cold surface as he began to bang it against the wall as well.
After a while a loud bellowing laugh left his lips.
"Must get them out of my head." He whispered to himself over and over again.
there was nothing that the system could do or could have done in that moment to save him.
He found his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he began to whisper inaudibly.
His breath was hot as he began to chew on his own lips.
"I must fix this. I need to get revenge." He continued to mutter over and over again.
His words like a broken cord playing the same key over and over again like a song that never ended.
He let out a loud cackling laugh to himself as he stared up towards the darkened sky.
He felt as though the screws in his head had come undone as he found himself sinking into the depths of his own despair.
Eventually however his breathing began to calm down and he found himself composing himself.
He could no longer hear the loud whispers in his head that overpowered his own voice.
His vision was no longer blurry and he could see clearly that he was still positioned with the cave.
He slowly pulled his hand away from the wall of the cave as he took in the deep cuts beneath his finger nails.
He let out a sigh from his lips at the thought before pulling his head away from the wall.
He felt as though he had recharged and as though the chaotic thoughts that lingered in his mind had seemed to stop almost entirely.
He sighed as he leaned his back against the wall of the cave once more.
He was glad that his heart had returned to its normal rhythm and that he had been able to get a grip on himself once more.
How3ever the question hast still lingered on his mind was how exactly that had happened.
However he didn't have to question it for long as he watched as a hologram appeared before him.
[You have allowed yourself to indulge in mental chaos for far too long. Because of this you have received a new reward.]
Dick watched as a button appeared at the bottom of the hologram box.
He didn't hesitate before pressing on it.
[Reward Received: Increased Mental Pollution.]
Dick couldn't help but smile at the sight of his new achievement.
He couldn't help but smirk at the thought.
It seemed as though even when he was falling apart it seemed as though ti was yielding some good for him.
He was about to stand up and leave when another hologram appeared.
He pressed on it and watched as a message appeared before him.
[Reward Received: Increased Semen Toxicity.]
Despite how bad he was feeling and how much his own thoughts had seemed to plunge into chaos the system served to remind him that he couldn't simply allow himself to be knocked down.
He owed it to himself and to everyone else that had counted on him not to give up and rather for him to take action instead.