Robin:
Ignorance is bliss, but we can't ignore this.
These "Fronds" have accused us of being fake, after I've just spent the past few days being realer than I've ever been. I hate them. Is hate a sin?
Badger's phone starts ringing, and he excuses himself. The rest of the band get up and leave the room with him, leaving me and Jay alone in the villa's entrance hallway.
"We're really doing this?"
"Yeah,"
It doesn't matter which one of us asked the other or who gave the answer because it changes nothing.
"Lust, pride, greed, gluttony, sloth, wrath and envy … I've definitely ticked all those boxes before, do I win a prize?" I ask Jay, who of course has figured everything out better than I have already.
"Well, it's about whether we commit those sins from now on I guess, now that we're together, isn't it?"
"We're together? We haven't really talked about it."
"We're talking about it now but no we haven't, it just sort of feels like we are, so we are, aren't we?" Jay says as a smile bursts.
"I would be very happy with that," I say with a smile of my own. "It might take some getting used to, this being happy stuff."
"I know right," Jay says, "Being part of the world's most famous band's entourage and being filmed whilst we court each other and try to investigate each other's capacity for sin will take some getting used to as well."
"I know, it's absolutely wild, nearly as wild as the fact you just said court each other. How chivalric! You'll be perfect for this sin stuff I can tell already, it's me I'm worried about…"
Jay laughs and kisses me but we're interrupted by Badger and the band returning from their phone call with unreadable expressions on their faces.
"Well, we have some news," Badger says solemnly and with creased brows.
This can't be good.
"Our advisor has told us that we – that's all of us - are going to be receiving some terms and conditions to our emails that we will need to read and agree to, but the headlines are this: for this 'social experiment' we'll have access to unlimited budget for challenge related activities, equipment, all our expenses covered and more. We can and will have whatever we want."
He takes a deep breath and appears to be trembling a little bit, which is unusual when one considers the rest of the band, who look like they've just been told they've won the lottery and are still in shock…
"For you two, there's a further incentive. If you can successfully complete this challenge within a year and fail to identify sin within one another, you will receive £100 million. Each. Furthermore, Whispersong will arrange, officiate, and play at your wedding, to which up to 1000 people can be invited and every cost will be taken care of to celebrate your completion of the challenge."
There's a long moment before he speaks again and I begin to suspect it might be the lack of control he will have if we agree to this that is so affecting him.
"There are some conditions, which will become more apparent over time. For instance, the order of the sin challenges. We'll be starting with Lust. Today. Let me be clear, I wanted to fight this, but the rest of the band are very much in support of this idea from our advisor and have overruled me. We're relinquishing control and accountability in exchange for cash. Let me be clear about that and the fact I don't necessarily think it's a good idea."
"We do," Stoat says, putting his arms around Ferret and Fox. "We're going to be rich! Er. Richer."
***
Jay:
Badger has a lot more to say, and some of us are listening more intently than others.
"Guys, I need you to understand, the cameras aren't on yet, but if we agree to this they go on at midnight. And the won't turn off for a year." Badger is ashen, as if he were drowning and without arms to wave for help or give warning, or keep himself afloat.
It feels as if an evil has crept into this whole situation, and I'm surprised that it is me who can feel it and not Robin, given everything we know about people's beliefs.
Looking at this with my logic brain – as if I was running a business – it makes sense. If the advisor has an equity stake in the band and are looking to invest big, they're expecting returns on this. They think that by introducing mystery, challenge, and cash, they can make a huge ROI on us, as if we're commodities instead of humans.
Bravo, advisor. Whoever you are, you get it, but I don't appreciate my feelings being rendered into financial value, and I certainly don't like how everything is predicated on negativity; as if the odds are stacked against us.
Even if they are, I'll fight and fight and fight to show the world that my love – the love Robin and I share – is real.
Fuck the haters.
***
Robin:
I can see a fire in Jay, not just the eyes, but in every fibre of the atoms that compromise Jay. Normally I'd appreciate this quietly and in private, but with everything changing the way it is, I decide to say it.
"I love the way you smoulder," I tease out, lustily, and quickly check the time on my phone to see how long we have until midnight.
About 45 minutes.
It's crunch time, we need to print, sign, scan and email all the papers for the six of us, or we'll be off with the Frowners and the Fronds. Little bit raw, but life is too long to spend it not taking big sexy risks like this.
"Everyone, I'm in, I'm all in, fucking sign me up already," I say, gesturing wildly that things need to start happening. Ferret is printing forms as we speak whilst Stoat fetches a pen. I get that there are some sketchy details here, because we don't know exactly what we're signing up for, but I would bet any amount of many that not so long ago we'd have sold our very souls for an opportunity like this.
It's another miracle, after the fact Jay and I saved each other's lives. It isn't just Little Leaves watching us now, and we have to do this for the sake of all humanity, I can feel it. Just wish God hadn't wasted over twenty years before giving me my mission.
***
Jay:
We've got to be careful here, before people of science and faith come into conflict.
"I see the clock is ticking, and we'll all have to sign soon whether we think it is the right thing to do or whether we have any doubts. Doubts are super normal, and those that lack them aren't better than those that do, so we can we all agree that we'll do our best to get along and not fall out even when it gets tough? It'd be nice if we can stick as a unit now that we're doing this." I don't think I've ever spoken this much. I'm normally writing down everyone else's words, not spouting my own, but I like that I'm able to talk and be listened to in this moment.
"Of course, Jay," Badger says.
"I think we'll be getting along just fine soon," Fox says with a wicked smile that I hate, so ignoring my own words, I round on him ready for a fight.
"The hell do you mean by that?"
"Well, the first challenge, Lust, it's happening soon right, like tonight?"
"Guess so…" I fluster, without any real response and wanting to diffuse the situation, so I ask how we'll find out what the task entails, only to be reminded that we'll receive email instructions once we've signed and returned everything.
Robin is the first to sign, followed by three quarters of Whispersong, then me and finally Badger. We hear the little whoosh noise as the copies are scanned and emailed by Ferret back to whatever management the band now answers to.
The time is five minutes to midnight, and everyone looks intensely ar each other. We're bound now, inexorably, and could be making a huge mistake, but wouldn't it be a bigger mistake not to try? Wow, I'm starting to sound like Robin, and I quite like it.
What feels like seconds after the paperwork has been sent out, a chorus of notifications rings out as we all receive email instructions. As we read them, Badger verbalises, because of course he does.
"Whispersong, Jay & Robin,
You've accepted the challenge, and for the next year you will be documented responding to and taking part in this challenge. Whispersong, your job is to support and document Jay and Robin's challenge. Jay, Robin, your job is to attend seven themed dates based upon the deadly sins and get to know whether you are truly perfect for each other, truly immaculate.
The dates will take place at times and locations of our choosing, and if you are to be successful, incentives are in place.
The clock will strike midnight very soon. At 12.01 you will receive your first public instructions and details of the first date, which will begin immediately.
Best of luck,
Ghost."
We all scramble to look at clocks and phone screens to see how long we have before everything changes. If I had to guess, I'd say the room is roughly half panic and half excitement. I'm a bit f both.
Ferret gets the final words in before the clock hits midnight.
"We've just hit two billion followers and received our first brief."
***
Robin:
We spend a few minutes getting microphoned up whilst Ferret sets cameras around us that livestream via Whispersong's social media channels. I don't feel comfortable at all, more a sort of giddy, like this is happening to someone else and not me. Or my body is being piloted by someone else and I'm just a passive observer not a participant.
"Everyone ready for the brief?" Ferret asks, sounding unsure himself.
We all nod at him with finality; it's begun now, the sooner we start, the sooner it'll be over.
"The email we've all received that I'm about to read has the subject line, Lust brief," he says, turning his laptop around to show us all as we each sit in one of the wingback chairs in the hall, having seen off the fans what feels like hours ago.
"It says that for the next twenty four hours, we will be confined to this villa, and opportunities for the sin of Lust to take place will be introduced. It doesn't go into any specific details about this, I suppose to keep us on our toes. If we can reach the end of the challenge at midnight without having engaged in any Lustful behaviour, we will be deemed to have successfully passed the challenge and move on to the next. It says if anyone is uncomfortable with this, now is the time to make this clear and respectfully bow out, or else we will all be committed to the ongoing task.
Any objections?"
There are none, and I can see how they've set this up. It's deliberately vague so that we have less knowledge and therefore less control. Doubt isn't a sin, thank God, but this is clearly meant to sow it amongst us. Already I can imagine the others are thinking about who might less us down in this, the first task, and I confess I'm having the exact same thoughts.
Given how respectful, mindful and wholesome this entire experience has been, to introduce Lust to the dynamic now could make or break a lot of these burgeoning friendships – relationships – including my one with Jay. Whatever crack team of producers Whispersong's advisor is using, they know exactly what they're doing, and it must kill Badger to know that this is what it'll be like. The band have sold out, and it might just bring them three billion new followers.
***
Jay:
I doubt anyone else is thinking about the definition of Lust, in this context. It does not just mean sex, no matter what you may think. It's all about desire. Especially around desiring – coveting – something one already has.
In this case, it could apply to money or fame, but I'd even include affection. Affection is like heroin, addictive and deadly. The way a certain member of the band looks at me, I think he may know that, and wants all the harder for it.
I'm already so fully sated and satisfied, I can't imagine in this moment craving more of what I didn't know I desired in the first place. I was so content with my empty life, it feels full already, but the night is young, and a delivery of champagne has just arrived, with a note that reads "for the Lust party."
It's going to be along night and the only longing I have right now is for it to be over. I reach for a glass regardless.
Robin:
Lust isn't just about sex you know, it can be about idolatry too, and the reason it is a sin is because one relinquishes control to a baser and more primal instinct, which is something us good Christians should really be rising above.
But damn, you should see the amount of champagne that just arrived, and the look in everyone's eyes as we examine each other in this new light. Jay's reaching for a glass, so I reach for two, determined that at least one of us can overcome the sin of lust with the virtue of chastity.
Let me be clear too, that chastity is more about abstaining from immoral sex than never having it in the first place, at least where I come from.
It's funny isn't it, that we know so much about the sins but so little about the virtues. Each sin has a paired virtue, and therefore I have all the answers already of how to defeat this challenge: through chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, kindness, patience and humility, but how many of the one and a half billion followers of Whispersong, or even the eight billion residents of this planet remember these virtues, how many could define each with examples from the good book, or even from life? We have forgotten much about what made us great, and maybe this is our opportunity to reconnect with a better way of living – a happier way of being happy.
We've been undermined by our relinquishment of control in exchange of budget, but there must be a way that Badger and I can undermine our shadowy puppet-masters right back! I must talk to him, but right now we're all sat so uncomfortably, I don't know how anyone is going to break the ice of this new dynamic.
Fox makes the first move, causing my temper to flare like millions of matches catching light at once.
"Drums?" he asks Jay, standing and walking out of the room in a frankly impressive display of confidence. To my horror, Jay stands and follows him.
"Badger-" I begin to ask, but am interrupted by Stoat, to my surprise, who asks me if I want to write some lyrics together. It's pretty brazen, when he knows Badger and I had a moment, and that I'm with Jay, but I understand that this is more about overcoming temptation than pretending it doesn't exist, so I get up and leave the room with him, meaning that Badger and Ferret are without company aside from each other and the cameras.
***
Jay:
To my surprise, Fox doesn't lead me – by the hand I should add – wordlessly to the studio, but rather straight to his bedroom. It is chaotic, dark and could do with better ventilation, but I'm immediately drawn to the beautiful humans on posters that adorn his walls. They are each as unique as the last, and things start to click into place in regard to what might be happening between us. He has two fold-out electric drumkits in here, along with one of every other instrument and little else beyond clothes strewn about the place. The bed looks tired, and small. It's a single.
"Whispersong, the most famous band on earth, hasn't exactly had any groupies has it?" I ask, hoping I'm not being too rude. He confesses that no, nobody has ever spent the night and doesn't clarify whether he means whilst on tour or in general, as the usual Fox-grin becomes something altogether sadder.
I grab put my hand on his shoulder, and tell him that it will happen for him, and that he's my favourite member of the band but not to tell anybody because it is a secret. At this, he grins, and asks if he could tell everyone that I was his first kiss. I point out that even if we agreed to lie – which I am pretty sure is a sin – we've got cameras on us at all times now; everybody would know it wasn't true.
"I'd be happy to pretend," he says, anything but happy, and watching his tall, powerful frame sink and sag around the shoulders, slumping into himself, I think about how these men were teenage boys when they had years stolen from them and how could they have done much growing up in the time that followed, so I just give him the biggest hug I've ever given anyone, even Robin.
***
Robin:
Stoat, it's probably fair to say, is the cool brother.
I don't have any siblings, and nobody has ever asked if I wanted any, so why answer that question now, but I think it must have serious pros and cons for him and Badger, being as close and yet as different as they are.
"He likes you, you know," Stoat says, and I don't have to ask who he means.
"But I like you too, and I'm better for you. Much better. I'm prettier and younger and more fun and-"
"And not the right person for me, Stoat, I'm sorry." I say, trying to let him down as gently as I can, confused as to how he thought this might possibly woo me.
"I think you're fantastic and beautiful and lovely and going to make someone super happy very soon, but that doesn't have to be me just because I'm here and when you smile at me I smile back, Stoat."
He pauses and inhales like he's about to say something but stops himself.
"Are you ok, Stoat?" I ask him, taking a step closer and looking up at his face to search for a real answer instead of this façade.
"Nah, not really. Without the kind of love that you and Jay have or the belief that Badger has, it's kind of lonely. A bit empty, you know? Nobody to share all this," he points around at his room but I suspect he means the wider experience, "with. And that sucks. I'd just like somebody to sit and write music with more than anything else to be honest. I don't get to do that much of it these days."
"Well, first, thanks for being honest with me, you're a lot better than just throwing yourself at people. And two!" I produce a notepad and a pen from a deep pocket and gesture in the direction of the studio.
"Let's write!"
***
Robin:
What feels like an appropriate amount of time later, I extricate myself from Stoat's company and to my dismay, Jay and Fox are still drumming behind a closed door. I try not to think about it, and instead seek out my original target.
When I find Badger, he's sat in the beautiful kitchen, looking out into the darkness of the night. He's drinking a glass of water, which makes me feel guilty due to the champagne flute I clutch, and being unable to recall how many I've had.
As I approach him, I look about the vast room. It's that kitchen-y all-white, open floor plan, beautiful walls made of sliding glass doors, and the light fades so rapidly as it climbs out of the villa and into the dirt. You can only see a few feet now it's the dead of night, and I suspect we're both wondering what's out there; what's to come now we're on this journey.
He can surely hear me approach but can't tear his eyes from the window and the darkness beyond it.
"Badger," I say, and he jumps a little bit after all.
"That's not my name you know," he says quietly.
"Well yeah, I mean, I didn't think it was, but none of you have ever revealed your real names so…"
"Grayson, my name is Grayson."
Infuriatingly, maddeningly, my cheeks redden a little bit; he even has a sexy real name. Of course he does for fucks sake. It's a good thing he isn't looking at me, or he might get the wrong idea… whilst I'm imagining how he looks even better without clothes on, he keeps talking, so I adopt a listening stance, leaning my head forward as I take a seat at one of the benches that surround the table he's sat at in solitude.
"It's lonely being a believer in this world Robin, sometimes I think even though I live with three other people the only company I have is someone I can't see or touch, but can feel." He looks at my now, eyes brimming with wetness.
"You spoken to anyone about this?" I ask him,
"Yeah, all of them, we talk constantly. There was little else to do for so long. They're the same, just in the other direction. Feeling independently alone, together, whilst I'm off chasing holy ghosts. We've all talked and listened and understood it's just that…we've not done anything. Do you ever feel what I'm feeling?"
"Constantly. My parent's lost their faith and I found it. When I also discovered my bisexuality and the changes that came with it, they lost their faith in me too, and left. I've not seen them since before the lockdowns, and since then my only company has been the good book and the characters I write to life in stories. And the Little Leaves on the forums, of course. And you guys," I'm quick to add those last bits in the hope it'll make us both feel less morose.
"You're awesome Robin, the future is going to be kind to you. Jay is very lucky."
"You say that like you're not going to be part of it Badger – Grayson - and I hope you're wrong about that."
"I can see what's going to happen, and I've been told it to. So I'm just here for the ride really, yeah."
"No way… tell me."
"I can't. If I tell you, it changes." It sounds wild, but I just know what he's saying is true, and I rush around to the other side of the table and wrap my arms around him, kissing him on the cheek. He chuckles and bats me off and makes me swear I won't tell anyone what he said, and I promise that I won't.
Secrets aren't always sins.
When I leave the room later, I feel immeasurably less alone – like I might never feel alone again – and I hope that he feels a bit like that too, whether he has someone right there or not.
Jay:
They never saw me, but I was right there.
On the other side of the glass, in the dark – exactly how I feel, but also literally – watching as Robin and Badger have what look like pretty deep chats. It seems we've both picked up some admirers, and I'm not upset. If Robin wants Badger, then that's fine. I'm quite alright on my own.
How can I pretend I even deserve someone like Robin when the only selfless thing I've ever done was motivated by the thought that I was going to off myself. Robin is perfect already, I can't imagine adding me into the mix improves upon that.
Eugh, I wish I had signal out here so I could check some emails.
"Jay?" it's Robin, brandishing a bottle and two glasses, but also a bottle of water. I left the door a little bit ajar in case it locked me out…
"It's freezing and nearly 3am, what are you doing out here?"
"Just thinking,"
"Yeah, today has given us a lot to think about. How are you feeling, Jay?"
"Fine, I'm fine, Robin,"
"Tell your face that," in the dark, I didn't even see the manoeuvring and soon, little arms slither under my arm and wrap around my chest.
"Judging from the smell, I'd say we've both been hugging other people tonight."
"I thought about you the whole time, Jay,"
"Me too, Robin,"
"I do love them though, they're good boys,"
"They are, I just,"
"Love you more!" We shout at the same time as I turn and kiss Robin like we're in the greatest love story ever told, at a beautiful villa in France, with love-heavy music playing quietly in the background as the rust-coloured dust of near-desert hears the sound of our breath and our clothes hitting the dirt and the collision of souls that just might have been pointed in each other's direction by something higher.
I don't not believe.
***
Robin:
"Well, that's one way to keep warm at night, or during the day, or any time." I say.
"That was my … first time." Jay says, as we lay together in the purest filth, and it takes me a few moments to register the words.
"You didn't say anything!" I admonish, shocked and feeling a heavy guilt.
"No, it's ok, I wanted to. And I'm not drunk," Jay says, and thankfully the little light given off by the villa at night is reflected in smiling eyes that are full of a warmth that triumphs over the cold night air and the chirping of crickets.
"The sun will probably start to come up soon, know what direction it'll rise from?" Jay asks.
"That way," I say, pointing in the direction know is the most wrong.
"Such a joker," Jay laughs as the first rays of sunlight do break, illuminating and exposing us in our nakedness and revealing true ear-to-ear smiles as we scramble to get dressed before anyone in the villa happens to look out of the window and see us, not that I'd be that bothered if anyone saw, I'm just mindful that Jay might not be as comfortable as I am.
"I'm honoured to be your first, you know," I say as we find ourselves suddenly and politely hiding our bodies from each other. Whatever I felt before, looking at Badger, it was like the light of a torch, whilst Jay shines like a lighthouse, and I think about saying this out loud, but I don't want to overdo it.
But now everything feels like neither of us know what to say.
Seizing the initiative, Jay grabs my arm and steers me back towards the villa.
"Coffee and breakfast awaits!"
"Yeah! Maybe if we have a sneaky first round of breakfast now, we can have a second round with the guys!" I say, stomach grumbling with love and hunger.
"I wish I could belt out a sick riff on a guitar, I feel like a rockstar." I'm verbalising my thoughts to distract from the dizzy weakness of my knees and the flutters that are wracking my body still. So we walk through the dust together, like new people finally ready to understand the magnitude to the task that remains before us. Our journey starts today more than yesterday, but we're in it together now.
Not just together.
We enter the villa to a deafening round of applause after such a quiet morning, and the whole band is stood in the entrance hall waiting for us with coffee, croissants and more clapping, shouting "congratulations."
Jay is mortified, understandably, but I just giggle, unable to care who knows what about us. Although I am curious, so I open my mouth to ask, before Ferret fesses up.
"We're early risers, and you can never be too secure, so there are a bunch of cameras set up and there's actually a security room in the villa that we check from time to time. Needless to say, when I checked it I turned it all off, left the room, and will later delete the recordings," he says, grinning.
Badger takes a step forward, always ready for a bit of impromptu speechmaking and quite the frontman, even when they're not performing, he's performing.
"An interesting challenge. I think we can all agree that we've learned a fair amount in the past 24 hours, about ourselves and about each other. I must point out though, that the cameras are still rolling, and the challenge remains incomplete as one question remains."
I can see he's wearing an earpiece. Is he being told what to say?
"Robin, Jay, what can you tell us what you've learned about lust?"
***
Robin:
A short while later, it's communicated to us – via Badger – that we've successfully passed the test and demonstrated not only satisfactory learning about lust, but how to respectfully shut people down in their unwanted or unwarranted advances.
"I thought it was just being a good human?" Jay asks the group.
"Seems many have forgotten how to do that Jay," Badger answers, and receives sage nods from the others, but something seems off to me; I'm not buying it.
"This is bullshit." I announce to anyone that'll listen, which turns out to be everyone as we all sit around the island in the kitchen, on tall stools that seem to wobble under the strangeness of the circumstances.
Condescending silence follows, infuriating me further.
"I don't appreciate being patronised personally, but I especially hate it when we do it to the entire human race. This whole thing is super judgemental. Who are we to judge anyone else, and also, beyond the billion plus people watching, who are these faceless nameless people judging whether we've sufficiently learned enough about virtue or not?!"
I need to calm down and take some deep breaths as I can feel the crimson of my face, but I'm livid. This isn't as fun the next morning when its cold and tiring and I want to go back to bed, but what happens next is intriguing and keeps me from storming out of the room.
Badger slowly, quietly and intently raises both hands, one holds up a single finger to the rest of us, the other uses the forefinger and index to press something into his ear as his face twists into one of extreme listening.
We all lean forward, straining to hear whatever voice is talking through the earpiece. To no avail.
Before he speaks to the group as a whole he whispers something that becomes readily apparent only I heard, and I can tell already that I'll hear those words whenever he whispers now, such is the curse of Whispersong. He said, and I now have no doubt a future song will be called.
"You don't get it."
"Ok Robin," he says to me but making sure he looks at everyone else assembled here, to further draw them into his snare. "We have a counteroffer. You are correct in that our agency has been diminished so far, so it is being bolstered now. You will get to decide the circumstances, length, difficulty and detail of the next sin you and Jay must fail to find within one another's souls, because the fact is, judgement will happen regardless, so our benefactors are putting you in the driving seat and very curious to see what you'll have to say about that."
I decide to go all-in on a bluff and hope beginner's luck applies to poker faces.
"Sure, fine, whatever, yeah I'll do it. I'll do a great fucking job. I'll do the best job because it'll be so much more real than whatever reality is being whispered in your ear right now."
I've got to be careful here or I might irreparably damage my relationship with Badger. The sanctimonious prick. Something about how much I'm attracted to him makes me hate him. It makes me want to punish him and seek revenge for imagined as well as real transgressions.
He's making me feel an anger I almost never feel.
Before my eyes, I can imagine a golden tether connecting all of us. It's a beautiful and golden cord that symbolises the friendship, love and respect that we'll all have for each other now we've formed this connection, but when it gets to Badger, it turns an angry, pulsing red, like an inflamed vein, twitching and threatening to burst.
"Wrath, I choose Wrath as the next sin, and whilst the challenge is for Jay and I, I'll drag you all through it with us as whilst we'll be able to talk about it and move past it, you'll simply be watching us do it."
***
Jay:
I'm not the writer here, but stunned seems like the most appropriate word to use to describe the reaction of myself and the whole of Whispersong to Robin's…outburst?
There's a rebellion and a danger in the soul of my new partner that is equal parts exciting and frightening. My fear is that that negativity lives on the same street as sin itself, and Robin could take the rest of us down with it if we leave it unchecked…which is why the idea of Wrath as the next sin actually makes perfect sense, and naturally carries over from Lust with the elements of desire.
Only the desire in this case is for revenge, destruction, and punishment instead of immorality.
Moments later, but feeling like hours had past, we hear the sound of a printer roaring to life as six fresh terms and conditions documents are printed for us to sign, with all-new terms.
"Does anyone actually read these?" Fox thinks out loud. I tell him that yes, I can quickly scan dozens of these things for any hidden nasties and not to worry, there's nothing to worry about here other than the fact that if we fail the challenge, we have to delete our social media accounts and start fresh ones.
"Not to worry? Have you checked yours recently?" Ferret asks, holding his phone up to me and showing me an account I don't ever remember setting up with the number eleven million next to the follower count. There's a little blue tick next to it and everything.
"Robin, you've got THIRTEEN million followers!" Stoat chimes in, mimicking Ferret's actions.
"I'm secretly, quietly, quite thrilled. This is thrilling," I confess to those present. "Are we meant to be posting? Do we have to actively sort of do anything"?
"You can if you want, of course, but you'll find the people watching will create a lot of their own content around you and what they get up to. They're not just Whispersong fans – Little Leaves – anymore, they're Jay fans too now." Ferret tells me, and I could swoon.
It feels unreal, unnecessary, unrequited… but also very charming, to have charmed so many. I search Robin's face for a reaction, but am defeated by impenetrable poker face. There must be a lot going on under the surface, and I wonder if this part of the experiment is meant to divide and conquer rather than unite us.
So what if one of us has more followers than the other, it makes sense that the crowd would follow the most interesting one, and in this case, that's definitely Robin.
Still, it's not that big a difference.
***
Robin:
My head is spinning with all these revelations. They totally called my bluff!
Also, thirteen million followers? Are you kidding me?! They're probably all bots anyway I guess, but I am very much looking forward to getting online when I'm in private and devouring everything millions of people have to say about me…and Jay. This is like a writer's dream.
But I'm sure that, we're I able to read Jay's mind, a helpful maxim like 'A Failure To Plan Is A Plan To Fail' is what I'd encounter, and I need to quickly figure out what the challenge will be for when I'm inevitably asked about it once the social media shock has blown over.
Just like with lust, modern definitions of what we know as wrath are problematic: it's not just being angry it is quite a lot more than that, and I personally see it as a reaction to loss or grievance as much as simply being mad at someone or something. For it to become a sin though, it needs to evolve into being directed towards doing harm.
There's not going to be much that'll cause that desire within Jay, or myself for that matter, when it comes to being personally aggrieved. We both seem pretty good at taking it on the chin.
No, in order to rile up our inner wrath-demons and overcome them, we'll have to tackle something bigger, much bigger. We'll need to confront awful stuff that hasn't just happened to us but also people like us, and people in general. We'll need to get dangerously close to committing the sin of wrath, and come back from the edge for the good of all Little Leaves, and all humanity.
The thought of what I have in mind is just horrible. We might even get cancelled for it, but an important part of life is acknowledge things that have happened, are happening now, and will happen in the future, so we're going to have to make amends with this one way or another. If we can make it through this I think we'll be all the stronger for it, and we might help some people along the way.
And I suspect we'll hit two billion followers for Whispersong whilst we do it.
Jay looks at me with eyes that ask what I've got planned, whilst mine silently reply to trust me, and that'll it'll be ok.
I turn to the band, imitating Badger with some dramatic flair.
"You guys wanted to get back to the states, right? Well, we're going to New York first. We're taking wrath global on an international misery tour – all aboard!"