"Thanks for letting me stay at your place tonight," I said to Mencia, accepting the soda she offered.
"You're welcome," Mencia replied, her eyes still carrying a hint of concern. "Are you sure you're making the right decision, Nia? This is a dangerous time to let Juan out of your life. Now that X's men are after you, and he has his initiated members all around SanCasas."
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my thoughts. "And what position are you in to advise me, Mencia? One minute you're trying to kill me, the other you're trying to help me. Maintain one agenda," I said with a firm tone.
"Listen, Nia, I'm not going to stand by and watch you hurt Juan! He chose you over me, and I can't bear to see him go through heartbreak or abandonment again because of you.He sacrificed everything he worked for years, gave up his past life for you, protected you, and this is how you repay him. I still can't believe he turned away from that dark path because of you. You're an ingrate who uses guys, and, honestly, you're worse than me," she spat with disdain. "I thought you were supposed to be the perfect one," she scoffed.
"Then go ahead and have him if you're so desperate for his attention. I never claimed to owe anyone perfection, nor did I ask for his protection. I'm not using Juan, never did. You're just bitter because he chose me," I said, my tone defensive. "You tried to kill me, Mencia. You stripped me in front of everyone, and you were going to cut off my head. Do you think I've forgotten all about it? You're just a murderer and a brat with daddy issues and insecurities, and I'm not responsible for them."
"Why are you acting all bitchy, Nia? I've already apologized, regretted everything, and I'm trying to correct my wrongs. But now you're ditching him for him?" She pointed to Matt. "He's not even attractive. Seriously, do you need glasses, or are you just that desperate for a rebound?"
As Matt gave her a dangerous stare, he retorted sharply, "Excuse me? You're also not attractive either."
Mencia scoffed, "Huh, I won Miss SanCasas two years in a row,or do you also have a bad eyesight?"
"Probably the votes got rigged, seems like the system in SanCasas is corrupted," he scoffed and left the scene.
"I hope you don't regret your decision before it's too late. Because I'll have him to myself, Nia, and I'm not going to back off this time. Trust me," she said as I managed a fake half-smile on the corner of my lips.
"I need to tell you something, Nia. It's very important," she continued.
"Can it wait, please?" I responded, and she gave a soft smile. "Alright," she said, "I just need to excuse myself for a bit."
I walked to the balcony of the room, closing the door behind me. The cool atmosphere hit me as I stared at the surroundings. The night stars were so beautiful, and for the first time, gazing at the stars didn't bring me peace.
"Mom, I'm standing under this vast, starry sky, and it feels like the universe is whispering its secrets. I should've heeded your warnings about this crappy place. Now, as I contemplate leaving, it's as if the stars themselves are questioning my choices.
I'm tangled in a web of decisions, hurting someone else in the process. Love has knocked on my heart's door, but fear has become an unwelcome guest. I'm afraid to admit what's blooming within me, and it's tearing me apart.
Each star above seems to hold a piece of my confusion, twinkling like distant thoughts.I'm inflicting pain on him, and it feels like I'm betraying my own feelings." I said with my cracked voice, tears streaming down my face.
"It's like trying to catch moonlight, beautiful but impossible. Dad's legacy is like a haunting melody, and I'm dancing to its tune. Can't I find peace without sacrificing my heart?
I want to run into his arms and escape this madness, but my every step is tethered to a burden that doesn't belong to me. Is love a sanctuary or a prison, Mom? Why does it feel like I'm drowning in a sea of emotions, pulled between desire and duty? The fear of losing him is unbearable, but the thought of him getting hurt for my choices is worse.
Loneliness is a cruel companion, and I long for your guidance in this moment of darkness. I miss you, Mom, but I can't go back to the past. The present is a storm, and I'm navigating these turbulent waters alone.
This time, I'm scared, Mom. Scared that I've become a puppet in a story I can't control. I don't want to be a casualty of Dad's legacy. I yearn for simplicity, for love without the weight of a legacy. But as I cry in the quiet of the night, I wonder if such a love exists for me. I'm sorry, Mom, for the mess I've become."
I heard the door behind me open as I hastily cleaned my face with my hands. "Hey, Matt," I said with a faint voice.
"Nia, are you okay? You look so worried and stressed," he tried to sweet-talk.
I nodded my head with a fake smile. "You know, Nia, remember the first time we met? You were staring at the stars when I came over to sit with you and played you my song." He started singing with his raspy voice as I burst out laughing.
"It's been a while since I saw you smile," he said, and I felt he was just trying to cheer me up.
"Matt, do you believe that the stars are the souls of dead people?" I asked.
"Let me tell you a story, Nia," he started. "When I was a kid, I remember my goldfish passing away. I got so mad that my parents wanted to get me a new one, but I refused because I really loved Poseidon."
I smiled at his cute story. "You named your goldfish Poseidon? Aww, that's so cute."
He gave me a soft smile. "I cried for days, Nia, because of Poseidon, and my mom pointed to a very bright star and told me that was Poseidon. I still believe he's hiding behind other stars."
"That's a really cute story, Matt."
"So, Nia, to answer your question, if you make a wish on the star, it's like casting your dreams into the universe, hoping they come true."
"Thank you, Matt," I said as he pulled me in for a hug. "I really needed that pep talk," I admitted.
"Nia, I'm here for you. You're not alone in this. If going back to LA right now is the best decision for you, I'll support you, Nia." He patted my hair. "X or whoever has nothing on you. You're Nia, you've survived this cruel world alone, and you can do it again. Just like your name implies, you're a champion, a star."
I didn't even know when tears rolled down my face. "When you're feeling all alone, look inside yourself. You're so much more than you know. And giving up is not an option."
"Matthew!" I said, sniffing back in. "You should be a therapist," I teased him.
"So, did you ever get another goldfish?" I asked.
"Nah, no one could ever replace Poseidon," he said, laughing.
"Thanks, Matt," I said, hugging him again.
Then, we were interrupted by the sound of the door. "Hmm, hmm, hey lovebirds, excuse me, but I need Nia's attention.You have to come downstairs now. What I was planning to tell you earlier, there's someone I would love you to meet," mencia said.
"Okay," I said ,hastily following her behind.
We walked down the stairs and at first glance , I saw a woman with a scarf tied suspiciously. She had sunglasses on, and it made me remember the same woman Diego told me about. The same woman I had suspicions about regarding Sofia's abduction.
She removed her scarf and sunglasses, and I got frightened. Frightened by the resemblance. She looked exactly like my mom, so much like my mom. I hadn't seen my mom in almost ten years, but I could remember how she looked exactly with my photographic memory. I missed seeing her face.
In that frightened state, it triggered memories as tears dropped down my face. How did she look just like my mom?
She smiled and came close to me, opening her arms for a hug. "I missed that smile. I miss the gleam in her eyes. You've grown so big, Carmen," she said. "You're just as beautiful," she continued.
"Mom, mom," I said, hugging her.
"I can't believe it, Matt!" I exclaimed. "You were right all along. My wish came true," I said, still choked up with tears.