"So, how was the party?" Jay asked as he watched me suspiciously from above the slice of toast he was eating.
"It wasn't exactly a party," I said. "It was good though."
"And I take it, your guy was there."
"My guy?" I asked with a small head tilt. "If you mean Jamie, yes he was there."
"So that's how it is? Your work friends get to meet your guy before I do."
I laughed at his faux display of being offended before taking the opening as an opportunity to introduce the fact that he might meet Jamie quicker than he thinks.
I was more nervous than Jamie about their meeting, mainly due to the last boyfriend, well the only boyfriend, that I'd ever brought home to meet Jay. He ended up being a real jerk who quickly went from not minding that I had a younger sibling that I was raising, to thinking he was being helpful by constantly suggesting that I seek other family members to 'take turns' with the responsibility.
He was boyfriend number one out of the two I'd had in my younger years, and, as you can tell, after boyfriend number two let me down by showing he just wasn't up for the long haul before we'd even gotten around to family introductions, I'd practically given up.
Jamie was different though. I put my every hope into that being the reality. There wasn't a moment I didn't feel comfortable or safe around him, and try as my brain might, I couldn't think of reasons to not trust him.
"He's coming here tomorrow?" Jay asked, excitement spreading over him before his smile quickly dropped. "I'm going out tomorrow. You know that."
"Oh yes," I said, feigning forgetfulness. "Well, maybe you'll see him Saturday morning."
Jay stared for a moment, his eyes narrowing with each passing second. "What do you mean Saturday morning? Is he sleeping over?"
"Maybe. I think," I answered feeling a lot more embarrassed than I had anticipated.
"No," he said, dropping the piece of toast into his plate. "That's not happening."
Thrown off by his sudden outburst I spluttered a laugh. "What?"
"You can't have some guy sleeping over while I'm out," he said, speaking as though he were the adult in our relationship.
"And why is that?" I asked, already knowing what his answer might be.
"It's not safe. I thought that would be obvious."
I let out a low groan. He was the one who had been pushing for me to bring Jamie home and now he was worried he might not be safe.
"I assure you there's nothing for you to be worried about. You know I wouldn't invite anyone home if there was a chance he might be a weirdo."
"Veronica, you'll never know he's a weirdo until something happens. Then what?" a look of deep concern paled over all of Jay's features for a moment.
I let out a light laugh and then got up from my seat, walking over to where Jay sat and wrapping my arms tightly around him.
"Nothing is going to happen. I promise you that. But thanks for being worried about me," I said, giving him a ruffle of his hair as I let go of him. "And I promise you're going to like Jamie."
"Can't it be another night?" Jay continued to complain. "Or maybe I should just stay in, but it's Matty's sixteenth. He'll be so gutted if I missed it."
It took at least another ten minutes for me to convince Jay that there was no other night and I was more than one hundred per cent sure that I would be fine. Besides Matty was one of his best friends, and they'd shared every one of each other's birthdays since nursery, as well as Brian, his other best friend.
I almost lost the whole argument when I told him that Jamie had something that he needed to talk to me about something, and his concern grew to another level, but I managed to calm him eventually by explaining that it was simply an issue with his mom and the fact that I was so much older than him.
So, by the end of the conversation Jay had decided that he would simply get home as early as possible on Saturday morning so he could still meet Jamie before he left if, in fact, he even did stay the night.
He proceeded to use our conversation as a leeway to introduce the idea of a boy's night where he would invite several of his friends around for the night of football and movies.
"Sure. No problem," I said, enjoying the conclusion we'd reached. "Who would you invite?"
"Just the usual. Brian, Matty and Danial. Oh, and Leon might be interested."
"Leon?" I asked - the name not ringing any bells.
"The new kid I keep telling you about."
"Right," I muttered. I could remember some vague details. "As long he's not one of those up-to-no-good kind of boys."
Jay laughed at that and then gave a tight, I'm-not-talking kind of smile and raised his eyebrows, then got up from the table.
I groaned but didn't push it. I didn't understand teenage boys when I was a teenager, I didn't think I had any chance of breaking the code now.
I picked up my phone after Jay left the Kitchen and found three messages from Jamie.
- - - Hey Beautiful
- - - I'm running late. Overslept!
- - - Have a good day. I'll text you later!
He still seemed a little more distant than usual in the sense of sending fewer texts than I'd gotten used to, but I guessed the argument he'd had with his mother was weighing on him still. I'd already made up my mind to be as gentle as possible, and just worry about supporting him rather than trying to push for our relationship, though that was clearly what we both wanted.
But that was more difficult than I had imagined as the work day went by slowly, with texts coming in even slower, and my anxiety growing.
Jamie told me they were preparing for mid-terms and he would probably be taking extra study sessions between classes so I may not hear from him as much as usual. That made sense, Jay was going through the same thing and he was always a mess when he got deep into his studies. But were texts really a big deal to send, especially as he used to send a million a minute? Well, obviously not that many, but the contrast was too stark to ignore.
"What's up?" Kimmie asked when we cut for lunch. "You seem kinda glum today. You had the same look last night after Jamie left. Did you two get into a fight or something?"
"No, nothing like that," I said before explaining some of what had happened with his mom. "So, I don't know if he's maybe having second thoughts, you know, just for the sake of keeping her happy. I mean, I'll understand if he is, but I'm not going to like it."
"Hmm, I don't know, maybe," Kimmie answered while deep in thought. "But if I know anything about young people is that they normally fall even deeper into things that their parents try to take away from them. That's what me and my friends were all like as teenagers anyway."
I did want to remind her that a twenty-year-old wasn't a teenager, but it was close enough so I just let out a soft laugh.
"I may have been that one teenager who always did what she was told then," I muttered because I did remember everyone else being pretty much as Kimmie had just described.
Thank God Jay is like me, I said in a silent prayer.
"Just wait until you two talk tomorrow before you start trying to fill in the blanks," Kimmie continued. "Let him tell you where he stands, and not your overactive mind."
I groaned audibly, but Kimmie was right. I'd use my energy better if I just practised putting on my happy, supportive smile, rather than mentally mulling over which ice cream flavour helps ease heartbreak the best.
Evening came and went with again, a few short messages as he spent the night talking with his mom. I went to bed early, hoping to shortcut to Friday evening which, thankfully did come quickly enough.
* * *
I sat down, strumming my finger against my kitchen table as I contemplated my next move. Jamie should have been with me by then, but he had texted a rather sweet apology that he would be late. A friend from his class was having a birthday celebration, and he'd only been coaxed into his party plans earlier that day. He hadn't planned on going, but his group of friends had pulled a guilt trip on him that day, and as they were still new friends and 'had been pretty good to him' since he'd moved to the city, he'd felt bad not to comply. He also joked that they'd tagged him as their 'lady bait', even though he'd expressed that he wasn't interested in chatting up any girls, they were sure that having him with them was enough to bring the girls in.
I wasn't sure how I felt about that last piece of information, but he insisted it was in good humour, and I needn't worry about him getting distracted by any of the girls at the club. For some reason, I strongly believed him on that and that wasn't a big worry for me.
Or was it?
Who knows, but I did end up suggesting that I meet him at the club rather than wait for him to make his way to me.
I was bored and eager to get our evening started, it honestly had nothing to do with trying to keep myself relevant while he was out with his friends, as I am sure Kimmie would have suggested it had. Needless to say, I was happy when he replied just as enthusiastically with the address and a time to meet him and it wasn't much longer after that I was on my way to meet him.
The club was busy and loud, and not the type of club I would usually go to, it was, however, the type I imagined a group of twenty-year-olds to be in.
Most of the people were out on the dancefloor dancing to what sounded like a mix of indie and pop, while others gathered around the outskirts of the dancefloor. Lighting was low and it was difficult to make out anybody that wasn't in my immediate vicinity so I gathered I'd have to do a full scour of the hall before finding Jamie. Thankfully it only took me a quarter way of the way round before I felt someone's hand on my arm.
"Veronica, you look great," Jamie said with his usual smile before moving closer to pull me into a short embrace.
"Thanks. You look pretty good too," I replied and took his hand in mine. "So, are we gonna hang out for a bit?"
"No, no. I got your message, so I've already told my friends I'm leaving."
Somehow that disappointed me.
"Straight away?" I asked. "You're not embarrassed about me are you?"
"You know the answer is no," he said firmly. "But I don't think you wanna meet my friends right now, they're acting like a bunch of fifteen-year-olds." Jamie gave a small laugh at his description, but sounded more disappointed than amused.
That makes sense, I guess.
"What about one dance? I don't want to turn up and drag you away like that." I gave Jamie's hand a small tug in the direction of the dancefloor. I had no idea how to dance to that kind of music, but I was a quick learner and I already knew Jamie was a good teacher.
"Don't worry about it," he said, pulling my hand to a stop. "I'd prefer to just go."
There it was again. The expression he sometimes made that looked like a mix of sadness and anxiety. Is this because of the talk we're about to have? I wondered, realising that my trying to make it light was probably just making it weigh more on him.
"Sorry," I said. "You're right. Let's just go."
"Don't be sorry," he said with a soft smile. "It's just …"
"V?" a voice came from beside me.
I turned to find Jay and Brian both looking surprised to an extent that even surprised me.
"Jay? What are you doing here?" I questioned, wondering if they were just feeling caught for the fact that they were in an over-eighteen club when they'd specifically told me they wouldn't be.
"I could ask you the same thing," he said. "I thought you were meeting your guy tonight?" His eyes moved quickly between me and Jamie before falling to my hand that still held onto Jamie's.
"Do you guys know each other?" Jamie asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "This is my Jay?"
Jamie's eyes widened and the grip of his hand loosened.
Oblivious to the tension that was building around me I continued. "Jay, this is Jamie." I smiled, but only for a moment as a flash of annoyance crossed Jay's face and he glared at Jamie.
"He's not Jamie ...," Jay said.
"Wait," Jamie quickly butted in before Jay could continue. "This is what I needed to talk to you about. Let's just go so we can talk."
Jamie took my hand again, coaxing me to follow him.
"You know each other?" I asked, the confusion blocking all ability to connect the clues.
"Please," Jamie pleaded. "Let's go and talk about this."
I pulled my hand free from Jamie's insistent tug and turned back to Jay.
"How do you know each other?"
Jamie let out another small plea which seemed to have caught Jay's heart, or maybe he just anticipated the damage his revelation was about to cause as he didn't answer except to stare back at me with the expression I knew well; it was his sorry-I-made-you-cry look.
"Jay?" I asked again and turned to Brian when Jay still didn't answer. "Brian?"
"He goes to our school," Brian said.
I stopped for a moment as my brain tried to catch up. Does Jay's school have a further education department? I wondered trying my best to ignore the obvious.
"Jamie?" I said turning back to him.
"His name's not Jamie," Jay finally spoke. "He's Leon."
"I can explain it all," Jamie rushed.
"Your name's Leon?" I asked.
"Yes, but it's also Jamie."
"And you go to Jay's school?"
Jamie remained silent at that except for a small nod.
"He's the new guy I've been telling you about," Jay added. "He's in my class."
Leon? I thought trying to align the information Jamie had told me about himself and the small things I remembered about Leon, which for some reason I had never really paid much attention to.
But there was one piece of information that did fall into place and sent the most horrifying shiver down my spine, Jamie's mom and the whole episode of her having panic attacks about the age difference.
I turned back to look at Jamie and asked with a shaky voice, "How old are you?"