It's time.
Thérèse looked over at her open window. There was a slight breeze that fluttered her white linen curtains. It rustled the papers strewn over her oak desk. It had blown out the candles around the room, leaving Thérèse in near darkness. Everything looked sinister. The posts on the corners of her bed loomed over her as she threw off her covers.
Tip-toeing across the cold wooden floor, Thérèse made her way to the wardrobe. She opened its blue and gold doors and reached for a light brown dress. She pulled the flowy garment on, not bothering with a corset or stockings. Thérèse shivered as she felt the winter breeze on her back and opted for her cloak as well. She pulled the cream-colored fabric around her shoulders and tied it at the base of her neck. As she was dressing, she listened carefully for the guards in the hallway outside her room. Her mother knew she was a late-night adventurer, and had been trying to put an end to her daughter's escapades.
Her mother didn't know the guards got lazy a few hours into the night. All Thérèse had to do was wait a few hours after sundown and they would be too drunk to recognize her. As she pulled on her fur-lined boots, all she heard was the clinking of bottles and slurred speech between the two men outside her room.
Even though the guards always drank on night duty, Thérèse never risked going out of her room's main door. She'd have to walk directly between them. Even in their state, that wouldn't be possible for her. Luckily, she had discovered a smaller side door when she was younger. It was built into the wall opposite her window. It had been covered in the same wallpaper as the rest of her room, and sealed tightly when closed. Unless one was looking for it, you'd never find it. But Thérèse had been seeking secrets and adventure since she was a child, and so found the door within a few days. She'd done a thorough examination of almost every room in the castle, fascinated with hidden passages and the mysteries of the past.
Thérèse closed her wardrobe and crossed the room. She slowly pulled open the secret door. It swung inwards, and led directly into the hallway. Thérèse slipped out and quickly closed the door behind her. With her heart pounding she turned the corner into the main hallway. As she walked quickly past the guards one of them opened his mouth to speak. Thérèse thought he'd recognized her, even in the dark, shadowy hallway.
"Good evening, miss." the large man said. His words ran together and he stood on legs made of putty. He was dressed in a guard's uniform, a dark purple shirt and black coat. Various weapons hung from his belt, and a sword rested at his hip. Thérèse panicked for a moment, not knowing how to respond. She gave a brief nod and continued down the hallway.
She stared down at the white marble floors as she walked. The gold details in the white stone made millions of patterns on the floor. It was like a labyrinth that had countless beginnings but never met in the center. Just individual paths that sometimes intersected, but never intertwined.
The castle's outer wall was lined with large windows. They were a pleasant interruption of the brown-gold walls and their lavish decorations. Thérèse paused in front of one. The pale moonlight shone on her face. She tilted her head upwards and closed her eyes. She'd always loved the night sky. All of its beauty and mystery drew her in. She folded her hands and held them by her heart. The air around her seemed to dance and shine in the light. It was a stark contrast with the dim hallway around her.
Thérèse was snapped out of her trance by the sound of approaching footsteps. She took one last look at the stars and began to walk briskly towards the castle's entrance. The footsteps were moving faster than she was and she knew they'd soon catch up with her. If anyone saw her out this time of night they'd immediately report it to her mother. Thérèse turned quickly towards a narrow set of stairs that led down towards the servants' quarters. She waited in the shadows until the footsteps had passed. As they did, she heard faint but excited whispers. They sounded female.
"...yes, visitors…I know, so long!...a feast I hope…maybe a dance?...be needing a new pair of gloves…"
The talk of visitors and a feast caught Thérèse's attention but the thoughts passed almost immediately. The clock was ticking and she needed to get moving. As the footsteps faded she crept out of her corner and all but ran to the castle's entrance.
Thérèse came to the mammoth wooden doors that led out of the castle. Normally they're closed and Thérèse makes a small jump from a window to get out. The doors are impossibly heavy and loud. But the daytime gatekeeper had been lazy. He didn't close the doors completely and Thérèse was just barely able to slip between them. She took the white stairs two at a time until her feet rested on the ground. She calmed down a bit now that she was out of the castle and didn't have to worry about being spotted. She walked leisurely along the stone path that led to the white gate.
Normally, no one was allowed in or out of the castle past sundown, but Thérèse had made friends with the nightly gatekeeper. He was a thin young man named Olivier. He was rather timid. The nightly gatekeeper position was good for him because he rarely had to interact with anyone of importance. As he saw Thérèse coming down the path, he stood to greet her. His shaggy brown hair hung in his eyes. He wore long pants with worn boots, a dirty white shirt and a gray jacket. His hands were covered by leather gloves he'd outgrown long ago. They left his wrists bare and red from the cold.
"Going out again?" he asked.
"Yes. You know how I am. I just can't help myself, even in the snow." she responded.
"The stable boy owed me a favor. He'll have your horse ready every night in the winter. You just have to let me know."
"You know I like to walk." Thérèse smiled. She enjoyed making the trip on foot, but it was a nice gesture from Olivier.
"Not in this cold you won't. Winter just started, it'll only get worse. You know I can stall for you if needed, but I can't stop a search party going out after you when you're frozen in the snow."
Thérèse sighed. She knew he was right, it was getting too cold to walk.
"Thank you, Olivier."
He unlocked the gate and pulled it open for her.
"I'm done at sunrise, make sure you're back by then. You know the daytime gatekeeper will tell your mother if you come back during his shift." Olivier warned. He had been keeping her adventures a secret for years now.
Thérèse nodded and walked throught the gate. She heard Olivier close and lock it behind her. Her horse, a brown Percheron with a white streak down her nose, was tied to a nearby tree. She had been a birthday gift to Thérèse when she turned fifteen. She named her Bisou. Thérèse was now eighteen, and Bisou had always been her favorite.
She untied the lead rope and mounted the horse. She pressed gently into Bisou's sides and the horse started a slow trot towards the forest. Thérèse had made this trip so many times there was a path worn into the ground, even with the snow. She led Bisou along the path for about fifteen minutes. Thérèse relaxed and enjoyed the ride. The dark pine trees glistened with fresh snow. The inky night sky was sparkling above them. Thérèse looked at the stars and they looked back at her. Just as she had done in the window, she tilted her head and closed her eyes. It's like she could feel them on her face. Kissing her, touching her, loving her. She smiled softly. Opening her eyes, Thérèse listened to the nature around her. The soft crunching of Bisou's hooves in the snow. The snap of a branch here, the snort of a deer there. A brown rabbit bolted across the path, spooking Bisou. She reared a bit, but Thérèse brought her under control and they continued. A few minutes later they reached Thérèse's spot.
It was a small clearing circled by tall trees overlooking the edge of a ravine. In the summer, a brook ran through the gauge in the earth. Sometimes Thérèse could see fish and otters going about their day. In the winter, the brook froze over. The ice was light blue and cloudy. It looked peaceful. Like a still life painting hidden in the real world.
Thérèse dismounted and tied Bisou's lead rope to a sturdy pine tree. She sat at the edge of the ravine with her feet dangling over the edge. She took a deep breath, held it for a second, and let it out. Her breath clouded in the air. This was Thérèse's favorite place in the world. She felt safe and secluded. It was a break where no aspect of her life could find her. Not her mother who was always harping on her to get married. Not the men of the castle whose attention she couldn't hold no matter how hard she tried. Not the servants, not the guards, not the ladies of court who teased and scorned her. No one. She was alone, and that's how she liked it.
Thérèse pulled down the hood of her cloak. She pulled out the pins that were tightly holding her long brown hair. It fell down onto her shoulders and she laid back in the snow with her hands behind her head. Bisou snorted and pawed at the ground. For a while, Thérèse laid there looking once again into the sky. She listened to the silence. Her eyes closed and she slept.
—
When Thérèse next opened her eyes she could see the sun starting to peek through the dense morning clouds.
"No, no, no!" she cried. If she wasn't back soon, Olivier would be off duty and the daytime gatekeeper would be there. He would surely report her to her mother and Thérèse would face severe consequences. She untied Bisou and mounted her. She pressed deeply into the horse's sides and Bisou began to run at full speed.
As they lumbered down the path it felt like a race against the sun. When the castle gate was finally in view, Thérèse breathed a sigh of relief. She saw Olivier's slender frame. She stopped Bisou a few feet from the gate and a stable girl came to take her.
"You're lucky." Olivier said. "My shift is done in ten minutes. Don't cut it so close next time." Thérèse gave a quick "Thank you!" as she jogged through the gate and back to her room.
She went through her main door this time. The guards left as soon as the sun started to rise, and not a minute later. Thérèse stripped off her cloak and boots, leaving her brown dress on. She sank into her bed and waited for a servant to deliver her breakfast.
I'll be back. She thought. I'll be back there again, and again, and again.