I'm lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and still pondering on what happened that day with Kioshi. I still remember his memories. Suddenly, I had an idea. What if I reenacted that same situation with Kioshi again? Maybe something will happen.
I left my room and went into the living area, hoping to find Kioshi. I saw him sitting in a chair, reading a book. He seemed to be immersed in the novel. "U-Um, Hey, Kioshi, sorry to interrupt you," I said.
He looked up and gave me a small smirk. "What is it, Himiko?"
"Well, do you remember that thing?" I asked vaguely.
"Could you be more specific?" he asked, seemingly confused.
"You know, that thing, when we were alone."
He raised an eyebrow. "Okay...so, what are you trying to say exactly?"
I scratched the back of my head, looking down at my feet. "I just thought, maybe we could try that again. It was, um, an interesting experience."
"Oh. I see." he nodded. "Right. That thing. Yeah."
"So, do you think we could try again? I'd like to find out why I can remember your ─." I started, but Kioshi interrupted me. "Maybe you shouldn't say that out loud. Just for now."
"Uh, sure. Anyway, I'll um..be in my room." I said while making a howdy gesture. Why did I do that? That's embarrassing. I headed back into my room, closing the door.
I sat down on the bed, feeling like an idiot. "That was the most awkward conversation ever," I complained. "Tell me about it," a deep voice said.
"Holy crap!" I shrieked. "Rin, why are you in here?!"
"I was bored. And I wanted to hang out." he said with a calm voice. I got up and pulled him up from my couch.
"Okay. Get out. Now." I said, dragging him out of my room. "Hey! I'm just kidding!" he laughed. I quickly shut and leaned against the door.
I sighed. I wish Kioshi would hurry up so we could get this over with. There was a knock on the door after a few minutes. "Who is it?" I asked.
"It's me," the familiar voice said. I opened the door. "Come in, quickly." I said as I pulled Kioshi inside.
"Are you sure you want to do this? This might not work." he says to me. I raise an eyebrow at him and say, "You're making me question myself."
"Alright, fine."
Kioshi and I sit down facing each other on the floor. We stare into each other's eyes awkwardly before I get on top of him, just like before. He averts his eyes nervously, and I do the same. I pull him in for a hug and wait.
"Do you feel anything?" he asks. "Not yet," I answer.
"Well, um, do you think this will work? Maybe, it only worked the first time because, well, you know."
I blush a bright red. "I guess you're right." I start getting up, but Kioshi puts his hand on my waist, keeping me in place. He let go once he realized and looked away.
"Sorry." he apologized.
"It's fine." I say as we both get up. "Maybe I need to tackle you like before?"
"No, that's not ─." he began, but I pushed him down, pinning his arms above his head. His cheeks turn red and he averts his gaze again. "I-I'm not sure this will work." he stammers.
Kioshi tries his hardest to look everywhere except for my face. "This is pretty uncomfortable." he comments. We continue to stay in the same position. It doesn't feel right. I release his arms and try to get off him. "I'm sorry. This was stupid." I apologize.
"No, it's not. You're not doing it the way you did last time."
"And how was I doing it last time?"
"You were a lot more, uh, aggressive, for a lack of a better word."
"Oh."
"So, I suggest we try that. You can't get the memory unless we recreate the exact moment, right?" he suggests.
I nodded in agreement. "But, it's not fair. I'm basically attacking you."
"Just do it," he urged.
"If you're sure," I tackled him to the ground again, this time with more force. "You're the most stubborn and difficult person I've ever met."
"Likewise," he muttered. I leaned forward and whispered, "We could have gotten along if you hadn't acted like an asshole."
"Well, I wouldn't have to act like an asshole if you would just listen and follow orders." he retorted.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" I hissed.
"I think you already know."
"Why, you ─. You're so arrogant."
"Says the one who's sitting on top of me." he states. "You can't do the simplest task. And then there's the fact that you're the worst liar I've ever seen. You just wanted an excuse to touch me, didn't you? I can see the way you stare at me."
"I-I-I was not staring!" I denied. "The whole reason this ever happened in the first place is because you wouldn't let me in!"
There it was again, that same heart stopping moment as before. The memories came flooding in once more. I winced as the images passed. "What's wrong?" Kioshi asked worriedly. "Did it work?"
I nodded. "I can remember everything. I can feel everything. Your anger, resentment, sadness. And something else."
"What is it?" he asked.
"Pain. Pain is the dominant emotion."
"Of course." he murmured.
I wanted to ask so many questions, but I restrained myself and refrained from doing so. "What were they like?" I asked. "Your mother and sister, I mean."
He looked at me as if he's surprised at me for bringing them up. "They were wonderful people. They were kind and loving, and they loved me. But, my sister died in an accident. My mother killed herself, shortly after because of that."
He told me much more than I thought he did. But I already knew all of that. Pain was the dominant emotion, after all. I moved some of his hair away from his face, revealing the scar that was left from when he banged his head on the edge of a table.
"Who are you?" he asks. "This doesn't make any sense."
"I can't make sense of it either."
I ran my finger over his scar, feeling every little bump and ridge that was made.
"I wish I could take that pain away from you, Kioshi."
"There's no use. It's already done and over with."
"Even so.."
He looked at me with sparkles in his eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask. He didn't say anything and kept looking at me for another minute or so. "I never noticed how pretty your eyes are. They're look very nice for someone like you."
My face heated up and I stood up quickly.
"W-what?! Why are you saying that? That's not like you...you...arrogant..person..you..jerk.." I couldn't even speak properly.
Kioshi stood up as well and rubbed the back of his head. "I'll um...I'll see you then, right?"
"Y-yeah, sure. See ya."
When Kioshi closed the door behind him, I jumped on my bed. "Why is this happening?" I asked myself. I held my hand to my chest to feel how fast my heart was beating. "Why is my heart beating so fast? Calm down." I turned over to lie on my back while still clenching my chest.
That was weird. Thoughts of Kioshi kept running through my head as I stared at the ceiling. "Get out of my head, Kioshi."
Please.