I get this dream alot lately, drowning in a vast, deep blue ocean. It's suffocating but not painful at all. More like... relaxing, like I felt kinda relieved that the pain I was carrying since I was born has been lifted from my body.
But... it's lonely out here.
But maybe this is for the best, no one will nag you, bully you and treat you like a trash...
As I was accepting the dark place into that ocean of darkness, I felt a warm hand holding me and raising me to the surface. As I opened my eyes I was blinded by the sunlight at the sky.
"Huh... Why am I lying here?" I questioned myself as I looked around my surroundings. There, I saw a girl. Black long hair just like any other girl but she's different, she's not wearing a make up but her face was pure white. She was sitting there, panting pretty hard. I leaned over at her and asked,
"H-hey, are you alright?"
She just pants and after a few minutes, she calmed down and looked at me directly.
"*She's really pretty.*" as I said to myself. She quickly grabbed me by my neck and shouted,
"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!"
Huh... What was I? Oh yeah... I remember... I tried killing myself.
As I faced the girl, my vision got hazy and it went dark, uncontrolled like a soulless puppet. But, I sensed that I moved my mouth as I was saying something... What did I say to her? With that my consciousness is gone.
...
As I opened my eyes... I looked towards a familiar ceiling of the room, I slowly got up and I was shocked that I'm lying at the bed. I looked around and with one look I know where I am.
"I'm at the nurse office... huh..." I mumbled at myself. I got out of the bed only to hear the door slowly opened and there was the nurse. She looked at me and quickly rushed over me.
"Are you okay Cabrera?! Are you feeling well now?" She said while inspecting my body as always.
Her name was Aurora I think? She's the nurse of our school and I known her because I'm always got cured by her because of the beatings I got and from my teachers. Unlike any other people, She's the only person who only helped me without getting disgusted at me which is shocking at first because I never felt someone took care of me after my mom died.
"I'm alright Ma'am, I have to go back to class so please excuse me." I said.
She quickly closed the door in front of me.
"NO! I'M STILL TAKING CARE OF YOU SO GO BACK TO YOUR BED AND GET SOME REST! IVE ALREADY TOLD YOUR TEACHER THAT YOUR OUT FOR TODAY BECAUSE IN TAKING CARE OF YOU." She shouted.
"Even if you told my teachers that, they will still beat me up and call detention." I explained
"THIS IS WRONG!" she slammed her desk in anger.
"It's wrong for a teacher to beat up a student!" As she explained it to me
I just denied her.
"That's just the life of being a Johannes ma'am. So please forget about me and continue your job as a nurse so that you won't get fired in this school. Excuse me." I explained as I opened the door.
"Cabrera..."
As I went to the room I was shouted by the teacher again and as always, they'll laugh. I went to my desk and continued the day. I looked to my right and noticed that we have a new classmate. I looked at her more clearly to see her face but I was called by the teacher and made me go outside the room.
It was a short time but not worth it as I haven't seen her face. The bell rang as the school ended. I went inside the room and grabbed my things and head out.
"Pencil, Pen, notebook, and any other kinds of stuff... Yep, it's all here." I mumbled. I went outside the school and saw a familiar girl with long black hair at the entrance gate.
As I look closer, she was the one who saved me from that time. I quickly ran towards her and got her attention before she got inside the car.
"Wait..." I panted as running is my weakness because ofy low stamina.
"You... What do you want?" She asked
"Pant... I wanna say thanks. For saving me that time."
"Don't worry, I'm doing what I have to do to repay the kindness you gave?" She said.
Kindness? What is she talking about? As I want to ask about it an alarm ringed and it's coming from her phone.
"I have to go now. So yeah... See you tomorrow."
Tomorrow? See? What is she talking about? As she left with her car, I continued walking home with a question on my mind.
...
"I'm home..."
I went inside as I opened the lights of the house. Went to the kitchen and cooked Egg Noodles as it was my mom's favourite food. After finishing cooking I put two bowls and poured the Egg Noodles on them. I grabbed it and went to the living room, I put it on the shrine where the portrait of my mom lies.
"Mom, here's your favourite soup that you always cooked for me when I was kid."
I still remember those days...
Everytime I go home with bruises of me getting beat up by the kids on our neighborhood, She always treat me with medicine and cooked this food. Everytime I see her slurp her food, she will give me a big smile and made me eat it.
"Mom... I still miss you and your smile..."
As I gulped down the food I washed my plate, went to take a shower and went to bed as I slept thinking my mom as she pamper me and sang a lullaby to me when I was a kid...