After dealing with a patient in the examination room, I walk down the corridor at a rather brisk pace. It's hard to take time off on busy days like this.
In my hand is a paperwork application for moving house.
Many hospital staff was surprised when I told them about my plan to move. Just like the administration manager, who will change my details in the hospital file. He is an old man with chain glasses and a head full of white hair. He is usually someone who doesn't talk much, but now is curious about me.
"You're moving now, huh, Sensei?"
"Yes. There's some situation, so I'm going to share an apartment with someone."
"I have no idea someone your age still does that thing. Sharing, huh?" He looks at me with a good smile over his wrinkled mouth. His eyes have a sharp sparkle under his gray eyebrows. "Is she your fiancée or your lover?"
"No, neither."
"A relative?"
"We're friends."
"Yuge-sensei is sharing."
It seems this old man has a hard time believing in the mismatch of my personality and sharing a house. Well, sharing is closely associated with young people's cultural image. I know, but why does even this old man know I'm terrible at socializing? Is it simply because of my looks?
He pushes up his glasses with his fingers and leans toward me curiously.
"Are they friends from school?"
"No."
"Are they a doctor?"
"No."
"Are they a woman?"
"A man, and it'll just be the two of us."
Then he makes a subtle grimace. I look at the old man's face and have to remind myself that this is a mania of his. But I wonder how weird did that sound to him?
"May I ask what the circumstances are?"
Rumors say, it is impossible to hide things from this man. Besides only an employee here, he has a broad face and is scary. He often seen talked to the head of the hospital which most likely they're friends. What do you want me to admit, old man? Why don't you just stop questioning me?!
"Well, it doesn't matter. You're always consistent, file documents promptly, have no failures, pay the shared rent in time, report your business trips, and have control of your taxes. Until now, you always act according to the contract... I have nothing more to say but wish you well."
"Well, thank you very much."
But I blush, so I try to walk back down the hallway even faster. It's weird. Blushing at the thought of moving. It's weird that I'm so so excited. Lately, everything just become so weird!
I'll be living with Iwamoto.
When I told him about the apartment in the Chinese restaurant, he was so surprised that his eyes were perfectly rounded. It seemed that he couldn't digest what I was telling him despite my very calm remark. Iwamoto, who stared at me with a fried chicken between his fingers, suddenly looked much younger.
"Sharing a house..."
Finally, after swallowing the fried chicken, Iwamoto uttered the sentence with a terrible surprise. He was better though, I almost swallowed the fried chicken without chewing.
"Living with my doctor?"
He spoke softly, but his forehead was furrowed. Probably because he finally understood the meaning of my statement.
I failed, I thought. I had just found out about Iwamoto's life story. He is someone who doesn't like to depend on others. He thinks of his sister, swallowing anything he can but still too embarrassed and afraid to trust anyone.
Easy handouts hurt him. Of course, I had no intention of giving him one.
What should I do? At that moment, I thought it was necessary to say something.
"I wanted to live in a beautiful and spacious place, but I couldn't find the right property. This place is fine, but it's too wide. Too much space." I tried to give my best explanation "It is not convenient to have unused rooms, but I am very interested in acquiring it."
I was worried seeing Iwamoto silent and still furrowing his eyebrows. The hustle and bustle of the Chinese restaurant seemed far away.
"I thought it would be fair if someone lives with me, but it's hard to find the right person."
"I see..."
"It's two bedrooms, a living room, a dining room and a large bathroom with a shower and toilet. I understand that your body is a bit different now, so I'm sorry that we still have to share the house."
Iwamoto turned red, which made me think I just blurted out something stupid. However, I truly had no intention of conveying sympathy in a strange way, but rather I wanted him to understand that I really was worried.
"We can settle in."
Though I didn't know how. Because never in my life I had imagined that I would do something like that.
I thought, if only there is a sign of someone else around...if there is someone to say good morning and good night to me, then my days off would be a lot more fun. I would also stop sleeping until the afternoon. If I live with someone active, who goes outside frequently, I even think it would be nice to join him... Of course, the hassles would also increase. I may not like it as much as I think I will, but I'm tired. Of a life of being depressed, alone, in a small car in the middle of a congested road.
If Iwamoto lives with me, I swear I will change a lot of bad things in me. I must learn to make a 180-degree turn in my way of thinking and lifestyle. However, I felt that such intense changes would not be unpleasant if they were entirely guided by him. My imagination was just too sweet.
Perhaps too much for my own good.
"Sensei, I don't know what to tell you... I have no money to support you with the house."
"Huh?"
Iwamoto was looking at me with a concerned look. He didn't seem upset.
"I just told you I'm jobless now, but you're offering me a house this big to live in with you? Does Sensei think that I'm lying or think that my savings are actually more than I want to admit?"
He smiled, but I immediately denied it.
"It doesn't cross my mind. I didn't think so."
Because regardless of their social status, people like Iwamoto wouldn't do something to take advantage of others.
"Why don't you ask some doctor?"
"Because I feel like it has to be you."
I said it straightforwardly, very seriously.
Iwamoto's face reddened again. He looked away. While staring down at the floor, he said, "I'm sorry, Sensei, but I think I have to say no. Because it will feel like I'm doing something wrong. If I were there, wouldn't it be a problem?"
Maybe this offer was more annoying than expected.
"Well, I'm hardly home actually."
Iwamoto laughed... Still, he cringed as if he was in huge trouble. His thick neck was exposed to me and I noticed it was also bright red.
"Hell, it's more out of embarrassment than not wanting to so..." He scratched his head. "What should I say?"
Iwamoto squeezed his T-shirt with both hands before wrung it out. It might be a habit of when he gets anxious or when he's really really scared. I remembered when I put him on the pelvic table. I wanted to touch him again, holding that big, warm hand... Yes, why grab your shirt, Iwamoto? I wish you could grab my hand instead. I'd be very happy.
"You can say whatever you want. I'm not going to get mad."
"I...I'm really grateful. Very, very grateful!"
I was a little surprised because Iwamoto suddenly became so loud.
"So it's a yes?"
"I'm certainly going to get a job soon, so...how much rent should I pay?"
"We'll talk about that later."
"It's better to do it now! That way I'll know how much I need and get a job as soon as possible!"
"Then let's talk when you already have a job."
But Iwamoto grabbed the brochure and went straight to the price area. He shouted, "Da*n! It's too expensive!"
"It's okay, I can afford it since I've been working for so many years."
"What an exaggeration."
"I'm serious, I'm older than you think."
"How many years older?"
"I'm 37."
"What? For real? I'd estimate you to be around 30."
Iwamoto was surprised but quick to return to the subject, "It doesn't matter what your age is, or how much money you're earning. Let's at least make an approximation of how much I should give you as a starting amount."
"If you care so much, you can pay me back by cleaning the apartment."
Iwamoto sighed, finally leaned his back fully on the chair.
"Oh, I've always lived alone so I'm good at cleaning."
"Great."
"I...I can cook too. Noodles and rice is my specialty."
"That's even better, thank you very much."
My diet has always been terrible, so I'll be very happy to have food made by someone else.
"And then I'll really pay you back."
"Stop that already."
"...Please remind me if I get too much annoying."
"So are you. Tell me the minute I start stressing you out too much."
"And, uh..."
Iwamoto was running his gaze all over the place. Are you trying to say something you forgot? I felt like I could take whatever he was going to say if he came to my place.
"Thank you."
Iwamoto bowed.
"No. Thank you for accepting."
Now my work is done and I'm finally going home. I've already signed the contract. I already have the key. Iwamoto and I will be moving in this weekend. I'm enjoying this too much so I think I should buy some new household items, things for us to use together.
Perhaps, despite my constant fear of change, deep down inside I actually want one. I feel that the change I want is just around the corner, closing in to me with truly steady steps. And the one standing out as a symbol of that positive change is Iwamoto.
He is always the one who pops up whenever I start thinking.