They had no choice. Even if their Junior Brother was sneezing, they still had to leave. The feathermen took them east to the port of the Yangtze River. They summoned a boat that could sail on its own and set it on the sea under the protection of the enchantment.
That night, Mo Ran got rid of his master for the first time and spent time with Shi Mei outside. But strangely, he didn't seem as excited as he expected.
Xue Meng and Xia Sini were already asleep. Mo Ran lay on the deck alone with his arms behind his head and looked at the stars in the sky.
Shi Mei came out of the cabin and took some dried fish that he bought from the fishermen. He sat beside Mo Ran and the two of them chatted while eating the dried fish.
"Mo Ran, if we go to the Peach Blossom Spring, we might not be able to make it to the Holy Mountain Sword Conference. I don't care, but you and the Young Master are both very powerful people. Won't you regret missing the opportunity to show your talent?"
Mo Ran turned his head and smiled. "What's the big deal? Reputation is nothing. If we go to the Peach Blossom Spring and learn some skills, we can protect the important people. That's more important than anything else."
Shi Mei's eyes were bright. He said gently, "If Master knows that you can think like this, he will be very happy."
"What about you?
Are you happy? "
"Of course I'm happy."
The waves hit the boat and the wooden boat rocked on the sea.
Mo Ran lay on his side and looked at Shi Mei for a while. He wanted to tease him, but he didn't know how to start.
In his eyes, Shi Mei was really unattainable and pure.
Maybe it was because he was too pure. He would have lustful thoughts when he was with Chu Wanning, but he wouldn't have them when he was with Shi Mei.
Mo Ran was in a daze for a while.
Shi Mei felt that he was looking at him, so he turned his head and tucked his long hair behind his ear. He smiled. "What's wrong?"
Mo Ran blushed. He turned his head and said, "Nothing."
He wanted to use this opportunity to carefully confess to Shi Mei.
However, the words were at the tip of his tongue several times, but he couldn't open his mouth.
Confession.
And then?
Facing such a clean and gentle person, Mo Ran couldn't be rude or forceful. He was afraid of being rejected. Even if he was accepted, he was afraid that he wouldn't know how to get along with Shi Mei.
After all, in his previous life, he had handled his short-lived relationship with Shi Mei very poorly … Apart from that intimate moment in the ghost emcee's illusion, he had never even kissed her.
Not to mention what he had experienced in this life, he wasn't even sure if the person in the illusion was Chu Wanning or Shi Mei.
Shi Mei was still smiling. "But you seem to have something to say to me."
Mo Ran's heart warmed. For a moment, it seemed like he wanted to recklessly break through this layer of paper.
But for some reason, a pure white figure suddenly flashed in front of him. He had a thin face and did not like to smile. He was always alone and looked very lonely.
Suddenly, his throat seemed to be blocked, and he could no longer speak.
Mo Ran turned his head and stared at the starry night sky.
After a while, he quietly said, "Shi Mei, you are very important to me."
"Yes.
I know, you are also important to me. "
Mo Ran said again, "Did you know?
I had a nightmare before. In the dream, you … you were not there. I was very sad. "
Shi Mei smiled. "You are quite silly."
Mo Ran: "… I will protect you."
"Okay, then I will thank my good junior brother first."
Mo Ran's heart moved. He couldn't help but say, "I …"
Shi Mei gently asked, "What else do you want to say?"
The sound of the waves was very loud, and the boat was very bumpy.
Shi Mei quietly looked at him, as if waiting for him to say the last sentence.
But Mo Ran closed his eyes. "Nothing.
The night is cold. Go back to the cabin and sleep. "
"… …" Shi Mei was silent for a while. He then asked, "What about you?"
Mo Ran was really stupid sometimes. "I … … look at the stars and feel the wind."
Shi Mei didn't move. After a while, he smiled. "Okay, then I will go.
You should rest early. "
He turned around and left.
The boat sailed on the sea, the sky high and the clouds wide.
The guy lying on the deck had no idea what he had missed. He was actually a little absent-minded, and had been trying to dig out the true feelings in the depths of his heart. He pondered for a long time, but because he was too simple-minded, he still couldn't think of a reason when the sky turned white.
He and Shi Mei spent day and night together, and their feelings for each other were very deep. Mo Ran thought that when the two were alone, he would be impatient to confess to Shi Mei. But when the boat reached the bridge, he found that this was not the case.
Perhaps he was too clumsy. If he rashly confessed to Shi Mei at this time, he would definitely scare him. Even if he didn't scare him, he wouldn't be able to talk about this relationship.
Between Shi Mei and him, he seemed to be more used to this kind of hazy ambiguity.
Sometimes when he had a strange thought, he would inadvertently hold the other's hand, and the gentleness in his chest would overflow like honey.
This feeling was very natural, and he didn't want to break it immediately.
When he returned to the cabin very late, everyone was already asleep.
Mo Ran lay back on the bench and looked at the night sky through the narrow skylight. Chu Wanning's figure slowly appeared in his mind. Sometimes he closed his eyes and didn't speak. Sometimes he had a fierce expression on his face.
Of course, Mo Ran also thought of that person curled up and sleeping. He was docile and lonely, like a sleeping begonia that no one cared about because it bloomed too high.
Hatred aside, Chu Wanning's entanglement with him in his previous life was deeper than anyone else's in this world.
He took many firsts from Chu Wanning, whether the other was willing or not.
For example, the first kiss, the first time he cooked, the first time he shed tears.
And also Chu Wanning's first night.
Damn it. Thinking of this made his whole body heat up and his blood rush down.
In contrast, he also gave Chu Wanning some of his firsts, whether the other was willing or not.
For example, the first time he became a disciple, the first time he coaxed him, the first time he gave him flowers.
The first time he was thoroughly disappointed in someone.
And the first time he was moved.
Yes, the first time he was moved.
When he came to the peak of life and death, the first person he took a fancy to wasn't Shi Mei, but Chu Wanning.
That day under the begonia tree, the white-clothed youth was so beautiful that Mo Ran felt that he wouldn't want anyone else to be his master except for this person.
But from which moment did everything change?
When did the person he cared about become Shi Mei, and the person he hated became his master …
He carefully thought about it these past few months, and then he felt that it should be after that misunderstanding.
That was the first time he was punished by Chu Wanning with a willow vine. The fifteen year old youth returned to his bedroom with scars all over his body. He curled up on his bed alone, his throat choked and the corners of his eyes wet.
The wound on his back was secondary. What made him sad was his master's cold expression. When Heaven's Inquisition fell, it was like whipping a stray dog, without the slightest bit of mercy.
He did steal the begonia in the medicinal garden, but he didn't know how precious that begonia was. He also didn't know how much effort Madam Wang had put in, waiting for five years for one to bloom.
He only knew that when he returned that night, he saw a white flower lying on the branch.
The flower petals were cold, fragrant and faint.
He looked up and admired it for a moment, then thought of his master.
At that moment, he didn't know why, but there was an indescribable throbbing in his heart. It seemed that even his fingertips couldn't help but slightly heat up.
Before he could react, he had already carefully plucked the flower. His movements were gentle, afraid that he would touch even a drop of dew on the petals.
Through the thick curtain of his eyelashes, he looked at the begonia under the moonlight. He didn't know that at that moment, the tenderness and love he left for Chu Wanning was so pure. In the next ten years, twenty years, until his death, there would be no more.
Before he could give the flower to his master, he was bumped into by Xue Meng, who happened to come to pick herbs for his mother.
The young master angrily sent him to his master. Chu Wanning looked back, his eyes cold and sharp. He glanced at Mo Ran's face and asked him if he had anything to say.
Mo Ran said, "I plucked the flower to give it to …."
He was still holding the Spring Sleep Begonia in his hand, condensed with frost and dew, indescribably cold and charming.
But Chu Wanning's eyes were too cold, so cold that the lava-like heat in his heart cooled down inch by inch.
The word "you" could no longer come out of his mouth.
He was too familiar with this feeling. Before he returned to the peak of life and death, when he was short and thin, shuttling between Le Ling and his benefactor, he spent every day with this kind of gaze — —
That kind of contempt, that kind of disdain … …
Mo Ran suddenly shivered and shuddered.
Could it be that Shizun actually looked down on him?
Facing Chu Wanning's cold questioning, Mo Ran only felt his heart turn cold.
He lowered his head and said in a low voice, "… I … have nothing to say."
It was a foregone conclusion.
Because of this begonia, Chu Wanning hit him with forty vines.
Until Mo Ran's initial kindness to him was shattered.
But at that time, if Mo Ran was willing to explain a little more, if at that time, Chu Wanning was willing to ask a little more, then maybe everything would have been different. This pair of master and disciple, maybe they wouldn't have taken the first step into eternal damnation.
But, there weren't so many ifs.
And it was also at this juncture that the warm Shi Mei appeared by his side.
After returning from Chu Wanning's place, Mo Ran didn't eat. He curled up on the bed and didn't turn on the light.
Shi Mei pushed open the door and entered, and saw this kind of stiff figure in the dark.
He gently put the red oil dragon wok on the table, then walked to the bed and called out in a gentle voice, "Mo Ran?"
At that time, Mo Ran didn't have deep feelings for Shi Mei. He didn't even turn his head, his blood-red eyes still staring at the wall. When he opened his mouth, his voice was hoarse and heavy.
"Get out."
"I'm here to send you … …"
"Get out."
"Mo Ran, don't be like this."
"… …"
"Shizun's temper is bad, but it's fine once you get used to it.
Get up and eat something. "
Mo Ran was as stubborn as a donkey that couldn't be dragged back by ten horses.
"No, I'm not hungry."
"… You should at least eat something to fill your stomach. If you don't eat, Shizun will be angry when she finds out …" Before she could finish her words, Mo Ran suddenly sat up. Her eyes were filled with grievance and anger, and her eyelashes trembled slightly.
"Angry?
What was he angry about?
My mouth is on my face. What does it have to do with him whether I eat or not?
In fact, he didn't want me as a disciple at all. It would be best if I starved to death. Even if I starved to death, Master wouldn't have to worry about me and that would make him happy. "
Shi Mei: "…"
He didn't expect that his words would touch Mo Ran's sore spot. For a moment, he was at a loss.
He could only stare blankly at his Junior Brother.
After a long time, Mo Ran's emotions calmed down. He lowered his head, his long hair covering half of his face.
Mo Ran said, "… Sorry."
Shi Mei couldn't see his face clearly. He could only see that his shoulders were trembling, his fingers were clenched into fists, and the veins on the back of his hands were pale green.
After all, a fifteen-year-old boy was still too childish. After a while, he finally couldn't hold it in anymore. He curled up, hugged his knees, and buried his head in crying.
His voice was broken, hoarse, and intermittent. It was filled with madness, confusion, pain, and sorrow.
He let out a heart-wrenching cry as he repeated the same words over and over again — —
"I just want to have a family … these fifteen years, I really … really just want to have a family … why do you look down on me … why do you look down on me … why do you look down on me … why do you all look down on me …"
He cried for a long time. Shi Mei sat with him for a long time.
When Mo Ran was done crying, Shi Mei handed him a clean white handkerchief and brought over a bowl of cold red oil.
Shi Mei said warmly, "Don't say things like starving to death. Since you've returned to the peak of life and death and become Shifu's disciple, you're my Junior Brother. I lost my parents when I was young. If you're willing, you can treat me as your family.
Come, let's eat. "
"… …"
"This bowl of rice was made by me. Even if you don't want to give Shifu face, you should at least give me face, right?"
Shi Mei slightly curved his lips. He scooped up a crystal clear bowl of rice and brought it to Mo Ran's lips. "Have a taste."
Mo Ran's eyes were still red. He opened his eyes full of tears and looked at the person beside the bed. He finally let go of his mouth and let the gentle boy feed him the food.
In fact, that bowl of rice was already cold. He had also soaked his head, so he missed the best time to eat it.
But at that moment, under the candlelight, it was this bowl of food that was delivered from afar. Accompanied by that peerless beauty and gentle face, it was instantly engraved in his heart.
In life and in death, it was unforgettable.
It was probably from that night onwards.
His hatred for Shifu grew deeper and deeper. And it was also from that day onwards that he firmly believed that Shi Mei was the most important person in his life.
After all, people were greedy for warmth.
Especially a stray dog that was frozen to death. When it saw salt, it would shiver. It was afraid of snowflakes floating down. It was afraid of the coming winter.
The Emperor Ta looked grand, but only he knew in his heart.
In fact, he was really just a stray dog. This stray dog had been looking for a place to curl up and shelter, a place that could be called "home". However, he had searched for 15 years and could not find it no matter how hard he tried.
So, his love and hate became very simple and laughable.
Someone had beaten him with a stick, and he hated that person.
Someone gave him a bowl of meat soup, and he fell in love.
He was just a little bit promising.