A whole year passed while she mustered up the courage to break free from relying on medications or the monthly visits to the doctor that served as a constant reminder of her brokenness, to find happiness. Taking that step felt liberating and extraordinary, allowing her to see the world from a fresh perspective "a much needed change".
However, before embarking on this transformative journey, she had to battle herself, in learning to love and forgive herself. Amidst all of this, her enthusiasm for everything she once enjoyed, from sex, to her daily activities and her social life, seemed to have diminished. More than anything, she craved physical touch and sexual pleasure but every to attempt to get it, felt wrong and so she attempted to engage a friend in a sexual act, which ended up leaving her empty as the desire to truly enjoy it was absent, ultimately leading her to resort to masturbation.
In her course for pleasure, she developed a routine where she would visit a restaurant near her residence and enjoy a nice meal before heading to the restroom. Once she is inside one of the stalls, she would discreetly remove her shorts and panties, sometimes even opting to be completely naked. Using a clean cloth, she would carefully cover the toilet seat and then proceed to browse through various porn videos on a specific website, searching for content that intrigued her.
Although she wasn't particularly aroused, she watched the videos for a few minutes. In resoluteness of her pursuit for pleasure, she gently placed her two middle fingers on her clitoris, yet she still couldn't feel the desired sensations. Undeterred, she continued to stimulate herself by rubbing her clitoris and inserting her fingers, simultaneously, until she started experiencing a tingling sensation down her spine.
Craving more intensity, she relentlessly rubbed her clitoris and penetrated herself with her fingers, fully aware of the need to suppress any moans of pleasure, she would muffle her mouth with her free hand. She soon reached a moment of overpowering pleasure, where it felt as though her body was on the verge of ecstasy. Succumbing to the sensations, she allowed herself to release, experiencing a euphoric release, akin to water gushing from a tap. As she caught her breath, a contented smile spread across her face, relishing the aftermath of her pleasure.
After taking a moment to appreciate the blissful experience, she proceeded to clean herself and dress up. In addition, she sought out a mop to tidy the floor of the bathroom stall that she had unintentionally dirtied. Once she had completed the cleaning, she returned to the restaurant with a joyful spirit. She spent a few more minutes seated there before finally making her way back home.
For several months, she adhered to this pattern, until she eventually granted herself the opportunity to revel in the delightful sensations of physical contact and intimate encounters. Additionally, she seized the opportunity to explore novel experiences and test new boundaries.