AS SOON AS WE REACHED A PLACE WHERE IT WAS SAFE to put the ship on autopilot, we gathered in the conference room, as the captain had ordered. We sat in a semicircle around a glossy black table.
Actually, I stood off the side at first. When Madame Pong motioned for me to take a seat, I realized just how serious they were about having me be a member of the crew. Calling me "Deputy" Allbright was no joke. I had truly became a member of the Galactic Patrol.
His face even grimmer than usual, Grakker said, "I did not tell you the entire contents of our message from Galactic Headquarters because I did not want to upset Mrs. Allbright more than necessary. Besides, this is highly classified information. The truth is, we did not merely lose contact with the Merkel. It was highjacked by BKR, who stranded the crew on the Zambreno's third moon, then disappeared with their ship."
Grakker's scowl deepened. "Before he went BKR gave them a message to deliver to us."
He looked down at a sheet of paper he held in his hand (well, it wasn't actually a paper, but that's the easiest way to describe it), then read us the following:
"To the crew of the Ferkel.
"So sorry to learn you escaped from The Old Lobby alive. It's a nice place to die."
"On the other hand, you got back just in time for some exciting developments. I'm about to put the finishing touches on a new project that will be the most horrible thing I have ever created."
"Madame Pong, I know that when you talk about me, you are fond of saying 'millions have wept.' I fear you will have to revise your estimate upward, my dear. I sneer at the tiniest past efforts. This time when I am done, millions times millions will weep.'
"Or perhaps not. When I complete this project, it may well be that the entire galaxy is beyond weeping.'
"This is so deliciously evil it gives me chills just thinking about it."
"If you want to stop me, you'll have to catch me. I left a little clue for you on Zambreno—just to keep things interesting. No fun if you don't at least have a chance. A last chance, perhaps I should say."
"Grakker, if you're reading this out loud—see, I know how you operate, dear boy—I would appreciate it if you could insert an evil laugh for me at this point."
"That's all for now, kids. See you at the end of time."
"Or maybe not."
BKR
"P.S. to Rod Allbright: Give it up, Porky. Once a pudge-boy, always a pudge-boy."
Madame Pong made a gesture of contempt. "What a despicable binderzunk! He makes me want to do something rude."
I looked at her in astonishment and almost wished she would do something rude, just so I could see it.
Stretching its neck forward, Tar Gibbons said, "Captain, may I suggest that this might be an appropriate time to interrogate our prisoner?"
"Absolutely," agreed the captain. "You and your krevlik can go fetch him."
At a nod from the Tar, I followed it out of the room. We went to the bottom of the ship, to a room filled with egg-shaped green pods big enough to hold someone twice my size if necessary.
Inside one of them was Smorkus Flinders.
I had been eager to unfreeze him, because while I was fighting him at The Old Lobby, our vanished friend Snout had mysteriously managed to whisper in my head that Smorkus Flinders knew something about where my father was.
I had gone berserk then, and tried to pound the information out of him. But all he would say was that BKR knew something about it. Now BKR was missing. But it was clear Smorkus Flinders knew something about him.
And BKR seemed to be at the root of all this.
It was time to see what we would find out.
We had shrunk the monster, of course. Otherwise there was no way we could have fit him in the ship. (At his regular size he was so huge he could stick me in his ear—I know, because he did it once.)
Now, even though at full size I'm half again as tall as the crew, when we shrink they make us all the same size: about two inches.
We had tried to bring Smorkus Flinders down to that size as well. But he was normally enormous we could only manage to get him down to four inches, which meant that though he was vastly tiny for him, he was still twice the height of the rest of us.
Despite that, I had an urge to say, "Not so big now, are you tough guy?" when we pulled him out of the pod.
I resisted, for two reasons (1) Tar Gibbons has taught me that true warriors are gracious in victory; and (2) I was afraid if I made him mad he might not tell us what we wanted to know.
Being small didn't make Smorkus Flinders any more pleasant to look at. He had rough orange skin, a mouthful of jagged green teeth, and a nose that resembled a tree trunk with four major roots. But it wasn't those strangeness's that made him so ugly. (Heck, some of my friends on the Ferkel were at least weird.) It was his attitude—the anger that seemed to flow like a solid wave from his smoldering green eyes—that gave me the creeps.
Later I noticed him glaring at Grakker as well, and remembered that back when we were in The Old Lobby, Snout had mentioned that captain offending Smorkus Flinders so greatly that the monster was thirsty for revenge. I wondered once more what that was all about.
Glowing blue rings surrounded the monster's neck, his waist, and his ankles. These were what kept him from attacking us, or just running off.
Using a control box that connected to the blue rings, the Tar and I led the monster back to the conference room, then took our places at the table. Grakker and Madame Pong were still there, but Phil had to go back to the bridge, to take the ship through a tricky passage.
Madame Pong led the interrogation, which she started by asking the monster his name. Since we already knew this, I figured it was some kind of formality.
Even though we already knew the answer, Smorkus Flinders had non intention of cooperating. He just glared at us, his lips clamped together tighter than a clam's shell.
Madame Pong repeated the question.
Smorkus Flinders continued to glare.
"You know, we can compel you to answer," said Madame Pong softly.
Still the monster remained silent.
Madame Pong closed her eyes, a gesture I had come to recognize as something like a sigh. Without opening them, she said, "Rod, go ask Phil for a truth helmet."
I started to ask what a truth helmet was, caught the look on Grakker's face, and decided to do as ordered. With the chibling clinging to my shoulder, I went to fetch the helmet.
When I told Phil what I had come for, he shifted several of his leaves, making the slightest rustling sound. Suddenly a whiz of blue fur shot past me. I jumped in surprise, then realized he had sent plink to do the job.
Plink was Phil's symbiotic companion, a little creature who fetched and carried for him. In return, Plink got to eat any branches, leaves, and nuts Phil was done with. I had never figured out exactly how Phil and Plink communicated. Now I wondered if the rustling of leaves were part of how they "talked."
Before I could ask, Plink cam skittling back, carrying something that looked like a basketball that had been painted black, then sliced in half. Phil stretched out the tendril, took the helmet from Plink, and passed it to me.
I reached out to pet Plink, but he made a little squeak, then jumped up and disappeared behind Phil's leaves.
"He's a one-plant sort of creature," burped Phil apologetically.
I nodded. It wasn't like I needed another furry friend, since I could hardly go anywhere without the chibling. But having little animals around made me feel more at home.
"Thanks," I said, and took the helmet back to the interrogation room.
"Place it on him," said Grakker when I walked through the door.
I had to use a chair to get high enough to put the helmet on the monster's head. As soon as I had it in place it began to vibrate and make a slight, high-pitched humming sound.
"What is your name?" asked Madame Pong yet again.
This time the monster answered without hesitation. "I am Smorkus Flinders."
They were the first words I had heard him speak since we shrunk him. It was strange to hear his voice sound like something other than a cannon.
"Where are you from?" continued Madame Pong.
"The Valley of the Monsters, in The Old Lobby."
"Why did you kidnap Rod and Elspeth to your dimension?"
"To use them as bait.?
"For what?"
"I wanted to capture Grakker."
"Why?"
He smiled. "You know."
The statement was true, but not useful. I knew that trick pretty well myself. But then, I could almost sympathize with Smorkus Flinders at the moment. Having to wear a helmet that made you tell the truth struck at me as being a lot like living with my mother.
Madame Pong frowned. Clearly she was going to have to phrase her questions carefully to get information out of the monster.
"How did you know where to find Rod?"
"BKR told me."
That made me shiver, but Madame Pong nodded serenely and said, "Exactly what is your relationship to BKR?"
"Friend."
"Do you have other friends?"
"No."
"Why is BKR your friend?"
"We have a common goal?"
"What is that?"
Smorkus Flinders smiled, showing a mouthful of craggy green teeth. With genuine pride he said, "We're going to destroy the universe."
"They're mad," snorted Grakker. "Both of them. Or one is mad and the other is a fool."
Tar Gibbons frowned. "perhaps not." Leaning forward, it asked, "Do you actually have a way to commit this horrible crime?"
Smorkus Flinders's smile grew even broader.
"We're building a time bomb. All we need to finish it is Rod Albright's—"
Before he could finish the sentence, he gasped and began to make a strangled noise. His eyes rolled back in his head. He shuddered violently, then toppled with a crash, landing flat on his back.